wizardmanor | Floor 1, Room 5

[ He chuckles quietly. ]

It is kind of weird to believe at first, huh? All the magic and spirits and everything...

[ He remembers that very first day, how bewildering all of it was to him. How weird and fantastical and dream-like it all was. He would have easily believed that this was the afterlife if the man that had picked him up from the elevator had been red.

But no. He was blue. ]

You kind of get used to it after a few months, though. Makes home feel like a distant dream.

[ He laughs when he realizes what he says, though. ]

That's probably not the first thing you want to hear from me, is it?

Weird's puttin' it lightly.

[ Shinjiro's not sure what he'd describe it as; sure, it's pretty fantastical, but he's never been the dreamy-eyed sort....not since he was a kid, at least. And after everything that had lead up to it, opening his eyes at the ding of the elevator had been more disorienting, nauseating than anything.

It's still strange, even now. Waking up in a bed and staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, hearing the bustle that isn't Akihiko knocking at his door, Koromaru barking for a walk, or Yuki stalking up behind him in that quiet way to ask for another cooking lesson. Feeling something under his skin that isn't the thrashing and steady thrum of Castor, but something else entirely. Existing. ]

...So you've been here a while, huh.

[ A certain guy's words flash through his head again, and there's a pause at Tatara's laugh. For someone in a similar situation, he's pretty damn carefree. Shinjiro's lips purse. ]

You're takin' this pretty well, all this shit considered.

[ Tatara chuckles, because he agrees. He just didn't finish school, so he doesn't really have a word that can better describe the situation besides weird.

He nods, though. At this point, maybe a little over a month. Weird how quickly time flies. He wonders if he'll be running into what would have been his birthday soon. ]

I've had time to adjust, that's all. [ He leans back in his seat and gestures vaguely. ] It wasn't easy at first. Every night, I'd go to sleep thinking that this dream would end for real, and that would be it for me...

[ When he smiles again, it's with soft sympathy. ]

I've heard we're the same.

[ The affirmation just makes the gears of his head roll faster, the laughter going unnoticed. There's a lot of wires crossing here, and he's never been particularly good with untangling them; there's just too much going on that it just makes his head hurt trying to think about it.

Shinjiro's still listening, despite sinking deeper in his thoughts, whatever vestiges of sleep may have been clinging to him evaporating fast with the narrowing of his eyes. Especially when Tatara keeps going, and there's an viscerally uncomfortable realization of just how similar they are.

Then the smile comes, and the words after make him pause. His fingers grip the chair instinctively, a raw silence following before he finally speaks. ]

...That bastard, he doesn't know how to mind his own business...

[ This was something he was hoping to deal with on his own terms, but of course the shortstack had ratted him out. Really, he should have expected it.

But it's already out. He's already here. And his door is already closed, locking them of from the outside. ]

...Yeah. [ There's a cautious weariness to Shinjiro's voice now, that probably doesn't suit a boy not even out of highschool. ] So that guy was tellin' the truth, huh.

[ Ah. Tatara's expression softens with sympathy. He knows he's the weird one in this situation for being so carefree about it. The shock of saying goodbye only to have that rest ripped from you is a pain very few get to live through (ironically). Shinjiro looks young...ish. Maybe even younger than Tatara. No one as young as them should have to experience this, but here they are.

He nods. ]

You know... [ He starts off slowly, his voice dropping in volume. ] He only knows because he was there to patch me up when I came out of the elevator. It's hard to hide a gunshot to the stomach and a puddle of blood.

[ He smiles wryly at that, a rare expression of anything that isn't positivity. Yet he speaks with such levity, like he's talking about chocolate stains. ]

Otherwise, I haven't really told anyone else. To be honest, I don't want to, because I don't want their sympathy. It'd be distracting. [ From their job. From their adjustment. In his mind, Tatara's here to support, not take their attention away from each other and the road ahead of them. ] Lazuli only told me because it's my job. He trusts me, and I trust him. I'm not going to tell anyone.

[ He leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in his palm. ]

But I'm letting you know because I'm here for you. If you ever need anything because of your unique circumstances, then I'll do what I can to help.

[ This feels...suffocating. Like there's a pressure in the room somewhere, low and heavy with a haze that sticks in his throat and settles in his stomach uncomfortably. An itch in his skin. He's never really been good at this kind of talk about himself, even before everything, and he's only gotten worse in recent years.

For someone who tell people to quit running from their problems, he sure does it enough himself.

Tatara continues, and Shinjiro's face keeps relatively neutral, although it does twitch at the admission. Gunshot. There's something grossly ironic in the fact they ended up the same way, but it's strange Tatara was like that when he arrived, and Shinji was...not.

A hand faintly rubs at his shoulder, fingers brushing his back. It feels unreal, but Tatara speaks of it like it's a minor inconvenience, and not the end of their lives as they know it. ]

...Guess we're really the same, in some kinda way. [ He doesn't want pity, or sympathy. He doesn't want someone to look at him and think 'oh, poor miserable thing'. Not when he got what was coming to him. He still isn't fond of the little bastard telling on him, but of all people, he supposes this is the better alternative. ] But I'll take your word for it, for now.

[ Even the assurance feels wrong. He doesn't like this at all, and frankly he wishes this conversation could end so he could go back to attempting to sleep for once. Akihiko had offered to be there for him, but how could he understand, when their circumstances were totally different? And now he's with someone who knows exactly how he feels, even about something else, and it still draws his hackles up out of reflex. ]

Dunno what I'd need. It's not like there's anything to do about it. [ He's dead. He's gone. That part won't change, even if he's breathing again, because the air isn't the same. The sky isn't the same. ] I was already running on borrowed time, anyway.

[ For now. That's good enough for Tatara. He offers a small smile, not of reassurance or sympathy, but of camaraderie. He'll know there are others like them in the coming days, but secretly, it is a relief he isn't alone. ]

My lips are sealed.

[ He isn't sure what good it'd be giving away information like that, so it goes in the private information pocket in his mind. ]

Mm. [ He sits back in the cushion, and this time leans against the arm of the seat and crosses his legs. ] So even more borrowed time might be a surprise...

[ He wish he could guarantee this won't last forever, but he can't. ]

But I know it's a shock. Even if you don't need anything now, just remember the offer's on the table. No questions asked.

Floor 1, Room 5

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