( Wow. Squares his shoulders a little defensively. nvm he's Not helping you actually--
... )
I still don't know what to think of humans.
( He says this like he can't have an opinion of Ahito without it - and, in a way, they're hard to detangle. Every thought ends up coming with a caveat; a nagging, "what if...?" that he just can't escape.
... )
... Before I came here, I was betrayed by another human I tentatively trusted. ( Again. Thanks, Guren. ) And I ended up injured enough because of it I almost drained the person I was trying to protect in the first place.
( Yuu was cool about it, but it wasted precious time - time they didn't have. It made Yuu weaker - in a situation where they were already overpowered. It forced Yuu to make stupid choices that wasted more time. It forced Mika into a corner. It made Mika realize how if he'd just convinced Yuu out of trusting Guren, none of that would've happened, and it was his fault, again, that Yuu was in danger, and Mika was so selfish as to die protecting Yuu instead of facing the consequences for his constant failings, the way he deserved— )
I still don't know if I'm making the wrong decision again.
( Maybe Ahito will snap and kill Ginger or something??? Or maybe Mika will snap and kill him. Or maybe both of these things will happen at once. And it would have surely all been avoidable if he'd just thought a little more carefully, examined the risks more closely, weighed so carefully every possible outcome and just chosen the right one. He just doesn't know how. All the paths look the same. )
no subject
... )
I still don't know what to think of humans.
( He says this like he can't have an opinion of Ahito without it - and, in a way, they're hard to detangle. Every thought ends up coming with a caveat; a nagging, "what if...?" that he just can't escape.
... )
... Before I came here, I was betrayed by another human I tentatively trusted. ( Again. Thanks, Guren. ) And I ended up injured enough because of it I almost drained the person I was trying to protect in the first place.
( Yuu was cool about it, but it wasted precious time - time they didn't have. It made Yuu weaker - in a situation where they were already overpowered. It forced Yuu to make stupid choices that wasted more time. It forced Mika into a corner. It made Mika realize how if he'd just convinced Yuu out of trusting Guren, none of that would've happened, and it was his fault, again, that Yuu was in danger, and Mika was so selfish as to die protecting Yuu instead of facing the consequences for his constant failings, the way he deserved— )
I still don't know if I'm making the wrong decision again.
( Maybe Ahito will snap and kill Ginger or something??? Or maybe Mika will snap and kill him. Or maybe both of these things will happen at once. And it would have surely all been avoidable if he'd just thought a little more carefully, examined the risks more closely, weighed so carefully every possible outcome and just chosen the right one. He just doesn't know how. All the paths look the same. )