[ His heart chose as it saw fit. Just like when he was born with Rum, somehow - without rhyme or reason, Rum became his everything. It wasn’t any one thing that the other boy did. Ginger knows better than anyone that he will never win against himself. He has never won, even once.
If his heart has chosen, that’s it.
Along the way, Mika became the most important one to him - and the romantic that Ginger is thinks maybe this path was always his to take. It would be a relief if… standing at the end of his path… was someone who just accepted all of him. He thinks… that’s Mika, and the light of his kindness has exposed nearly all of Ginger’s writhing selfish desires. And the rest, Mika would hold it with care if he knew. Ginger thinks; Ginger hopes. ]
… I don’t know why - I just know that I’m right to choose you. When all I want to do is say your name.
[ He does realize he says it a lot, and thinks it even more. Mika has become synonymous with love, with comfort, with safe. ]
I don’t have a reason for why it shouldn’t be you. And I’m… really happy that it’s you, Mika.
[ This is how it feels to hold someone important, to have Mika willingly in his arms, touching him - like he’s normal. As if his back full of gashes didn’t reflect the hungry maws within him. And Mika still seems to crawl in of his own accord.
(Did he set out the bait? He’s trying to keep Mika, but how is that different from trapping him? …Is this fair to Mika…?) ]
Unless you became a different person entirely, someone that can’t be called Mika, I don’t think I’ll stop feeling this way for you. [ It’s just the start. Ginger can sense the start of a fall. ] So tell me your feelings, tell me no, tell me yes. Ask me if I still love you, if you ever feel unsure.
Um… Even if you lose parts of yourself, that’s fine. [ That was a concern, he remembers, that Mika would not always be Mika. But Ginger disagrees - or rather, his greed… refuses to let go. How could he? Every part is so precious. ] I’ll find them and keep them until you want those pieces again. I’ll remember them.
no subject
If his heart has chosen, that’s it.
Along the way, Mika became the most important one to him - and the romantic that Ginger is thinks maybe this path was always his to take. It would be a relief if… standing at the end of his path… was someone who just accepted all of him. He thinks… that’s Mika, and the light of his kindness has exposed nearly all of Ginger’s writhing selfish desires. And the rest, Mika would hold it with care if he knew. Ginger thinks; Ginger hopes. ]
… I don’t know why - I just know that I’m right to choose you. When all I want to do is say your name.
[ He does realize he says it a lot, and thinks it even more. Mika has become synonymous with love, with comfort, with safe. ]
I don’t have a reason for why it shouldn’t be you. And I’m… really happy that it’s you, Mika.
[ This is how it feels to hold someone important, to have Mika willingly in his arms, touching him - like he’s normal. As if his back full of gashes didn’t reflect the hungry maws within him. And Mika still seems to crawl in of his own accord.
(Did he set out the bait? He’s trying to keep Mika, but how is that different from trapping him? …Is this fair to Mika…?) ]
Unless you became a different person entirely, someone that can’t be called Mika, I don’t think I’ll stop feeling this way for you. [ It’s just the start. Ginger can sense the start of a fall. ] So tell me your feelings, tell me no, tell me yes. Ask me if I still love you, if you ever feel unsure.
Um… Even if you lose parts of yourself, that’s fine. [ That was a concern, he remembers, that Mika would not always be Mika. But Ginger disagrees - or rather, his greed… refuses to let go. How could he? Every part is so precious. ] I’ll find them and keep them until you want those pieces again. I’ll remember them.