[ He leans back against the pillows, making himself into a cushion for Mika. The pose is familiar; he’d done something like this once before - that frantic night when Mika had been… hungry. The first time his body had reacted to someone other than Rum.
And now look at them, still vacillating between insalubrious doubt and growing desires that overflow, overgrown protectively around a core wish: to love and be loved, as the only two in their little world. But their garden hasn’t fallen yet, despite the constant quakes from second guessing; it’s still budding. And for every smile, every laugh they share, another bloom opens up beautifully - when Mika laughs, the entire garden trembles entirely new. ]
Mhm. Let me know how selfish you can be - please.
[ Mika will never be as selfish as Ginger, who doubts and doubts and knows that he was made not good enough. And still, he has the audacity to want. Any chance that Mika gives him, he takes to like a starving creature - ridiculous when he’s been so well-fed by Mika affection.
But he doesn’t want to change that about himself if it means Mika cares, that Mika stays.
(… If, however, loving Ginger was the reason Mika couldn’t find value in himself, then he would - he would let go of himself and fade, so someone who can better love Mika can find him and make him the happiest in all of Heaven and Earth.)
(… He doesn’t want to be Yuu, existing while Mika suffers.) ]
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And now look at them, still vacillating between insalubrious doubt and growing desires that overflow, overgrown protectively around a core wish: to love and be loved, as the only two in their little world. But their garden hasn’t fallen yet, despite the constant quakes from second guessing; it’s still budding. And for every smile, every laugh they share, another bloom opens up beautifully - when Mika laughs, the entire garden trembles entirely new. ]
Mhm. Let me know how selfish you can be - please.
[ Mika will never be as selfish as Ginger, who doubts and doubts and knows that he was made not good enough. And still, he has the audacity to want. Any chance that Mika gives him, he takes to like a starving creature - ridiculous when he’s been so well-fed by Mika affection.
But he doesn’t want to change that about himself if it means Mika cares, that Mika stays.
(… If, however, loving Ginger was the reason Mika couldn’t find value in himself, then he would - he would let go of himself and fade, so someone who can better love Mika can find him and make him the happiest in all of Heaven and Earth.)
(… He doesn’t want to be Yuu, existing while Mika suffers.) ]