( wtf that's such a cute answer... he can't believe his boyfriend (!!) (!!) (!!?) (!!!!!!) is so cute... His hands pull forward from Ginger's hair and gently squish his cheeks, and kissing where the skin squashes out a lil. Unbelievable. But Mika's look as he does this is extremely fond. )
... I just end up smiling and laughing around you without even realizing it. You make it really easy. I basically didn't do any of that for like two years, either.
( That same period he didn't speak, he means. That all changed when he found Yuu again, obviously, but, for once... it isn't about Yuu? Which feels - a little hard to feel, for the moment that feeling settles in him. It's like accepting the loss of a friend, even though - it's Mika who died. Yuu moved on, and it's hard to think about that, but, somehow - it's harder to accept himself as... maybe moving on from Yuu. It feels wrong. Like he's doing something bad. But he's held Yuu with such a tight grip in his heart for so long that - maybe it makes sense it's not easy to ease off. Baby steps, he guesses.
(But it is, fundamentally, against his nature - at a level that runs so deep and so dark Mika can't perceive it.)
What Ginger says next makes him think, because - actually, he's of the same mind? Sex has always been a passively hostile concept for him. His father and mother were physically strangers to one another by the time Mika became aware, Ferid weaponized human sexuality for his amusement, the children in Sanguiem grew up scared and violent and without healthy outlet, and the few human settlements run by those human cults on the surface intended to breed humans to restore the population (to then test on them, surely). And none of that gets into how he lost whatever little he had when he was turned. )
... I didn't think it could be fun either, actually.
( He lets his palms slide down Ginger's neck, coming to rest at the crook on either side. He'll shift his seat, with the way Ginger rocks into him, into something more like a straddle in his lap. He's not as cozily cradled in Ginger's arms anymore, but it might be cozier for Ginger Jr. down there... even if he can feel him way more tangibly in this position. Hm, )
But you said you'd imagined it, right? Was it like, not fun in your fantasies?
nsfgs (not safe for grandmas) (unless grandma kinda into yaoi)
... I just end up smiling and laughing around you without even realizing it. You make it really easy. I basically didn't do any of that for like two years, either.
( That same period he didn't speak, he means. That all changed when he found Yuu again, obviously, but, for once... it isn't about Yuu? Which feels - a little hard to feel, for the moment that feeling settles in him. It's like accepting the loss of a friend, even though - it's Mika who died. Yuu moved on, and it's hard to think about that, but, somehow - it's harder to accept himself as... maybe moving on from Yuu. It feels wrong. Like he's doing something bad. But he's held Yuu with such a tight grip in his heart for so long that - maybe it makes sense it's not easy to ease off. Baby steps, he guesses.
(But it is, fundamentally, against his nature - at a level that runs so deep and so dark Mika can't perceive it.)
What Ginger says next makes him think, because - actually, he's of the same mind? Sex has always been a passively hostile concept for him. His father and mother were physically strangers to one another by the time Mika became aware, Ferid weaponized human sexuality for his amusement, the children in Sanguiem grew up scared and violent and without healthy outlet, and the few human settlements run by those human cults on the surface intended to breed humans to restore the population (to then test on them, surely). And none of that gets into how he lost whatever little he had when he was turned. )
... I didn't think it could be fun either, actually.
( He lets his palms slide down Ginger's neck, coming to rest at the crook on either side. He'll shift his seat, with the way Ginger rocks into him, into something more like a straddle in his lap. He's not as cozily cradled in Ginger's arms anymore, but it might be cozier for Ginger Jr. down there... even if he can feel him way more tangibly in this position. Hm, )
But you said you'd imagined it, right? Was it like, not fun in your fantasies?