[ The hand on Mika’s thigh moves up to brush his hair back, tucking some behind his ear. (A flower would be pretty here.) Ginger smiles soft and smitten when it opens up more of his face. He hasn’t stroked Mika’s head in a while, he thinks, doing so with the fingers in his hair and the thumb high on his cheek.

Mika always tries to make him feel better about this. But it’s less to do with him not minding; just that… sex wasn’t something Rum or Mika ever seemed to spend much thought on. It’s only Ginger who’s obsessed with something so primal. The more he had let out what he was imagining (and still, he let them out), the more he thought Mika would wonder if he needed to think about those things too - to make Ginger happy, or feel better, or a million other well-intentioned reasons. Mika’s full of sweetness and Ginger, sin.

It’s not really a big problem now. And Mika seems to like it a little; everything else, they can just discuss if they need to. He likes talking things out with his boyfriend (his sweetheart, his sweet heart). ]

I still feel like I shouldn’t have - let you see… What if I made you all dirty like me? But I didn’t want to hide anything from you. I wanted to… open up for you, more and more. Because I realized - you thought you were this dirty thing, when you’re so… [ He sighs deep, searching for any way to possibly, possibly explain all that Mika is to him. It’s - impossible. All the mortal words are just so inadequate. ] You’re so…

[ He shakes his head. There are no words. So he says: ]

I love you. [ Really, really, really. ] I want to know all the details that you can’t share with anyone else, and the feelings you couldn’t share when you went through - what you did. The bad things.

[ Bad enough for Mika to give his life, he remembers. ]

If… it’s sad, I want to cry for you if you couldn’t. If it’s selfish and ugly, who would understand but me? I want to be there for you now because I couldn’t then.