[ And the smile on Tatara's face grows brighter in turn. Yeah. He looks better like that. ]
Anything? Mmm... [ The mischief twinkles in his eyes, but only for a brief moment. ]
I've had a lot of near-death experiences. People didn't like the guys I worked with, and I was an easy target. So I've been stalked, chased, shot at, stabbed—almost—lots of times...
[ He survived most of those. But, well. ]
And... [ Let's see. What else can he be honest about. ] Oh. Jing Yuan asked me out, but I turned him down because I liked you already. [ Just getting that out there. ] Then...
[ That's not it, is it? For a brief moment, his heart hurts for a different reason. He pauses, because it's hard to talk. ]
Before you... Before this world, [ in his old life, ] there was someone else.
[ His tone is distant, like he's talking about someone from a dream long ago. ]
[ Aguero listens and for each time his boyfriend mentions a different type of near death experience, he gets poked in the ribs. One, two, three, four, five for good measure. He really isn't surprised to find out that Tatara is drawn to danger like a butterfly is drawn to flowers. Still it pulls a sigh out of him weary but soft.
...the next bit though is unexpected, his blue eyes wide and nonplussed momentarily. Asked him out? Heh. There's a not quite laugh, a shade amused and something else. ]
Well, I can see why. [ To both he means. ] But all's fair in love and war, except I don't play fair.
[ If the playing went as far as alligator soap bubbles because this has all been from his heart, even if it took him a long time to realize it. He doesn't say as much, but maybe the light kiss he places on the other's forehead, little more than a tickle says as much. ]
[ It's a quick kiss, because he is listening and he catches the change in tone right away. He doesn't say anything for a moment, but if Tatara looks up at him, he'll find that he's smiling.
He remembers what Mikaela told him weeks ago, but he also knows that light attracts colors, shadows, and everything else in between. It even attracts someone like Aguero himself, after all. ]
We share that too, everything except the being asked out part. [ It's light but not blithe, a strand of gossamer; Aguero tracing stars with his fingers where they've come to rest. ]
Maria and Baam. I made Maria a princess and then saw her off. And Baam—I told you what happened to him.
[ All right, but the poke at his ribs does cause Tatara to flinch with each poke. Each flinch bigger than the last, before he eventually twitches and swats Aguero's hand away with a quiet laugh and a stop. Were you looking for his ticklish spots? There's one!
Still, he calms with the kiss to his forehead, and he goes back to leaning his head on Aguero's shoulder. Tatara watches him, warm eyes soft, as he speaks. Though it seems obvious, considering they led their own lives before this, it is nice to know Aguero was loved, in one way or another, before coming here. ]
You did. [ His voice, too, is soft, caring. In a quiet moment of thought, he remembers what Aguero told him, all those weeks ago (was it even that long ago?), and things begin to quietly slot into place. The look on his face when he came in here, the ferocity of his resolve, his upset...
Tatara reaches to gently press his fingers against Aguero's opposite cheek, coaxing him to face him, however awkward the angle. He smiles because he sympathizes. ]
That would make you and my king the same. [ Having lost someone dear to them, tragically and without warning. Arrogantly, he assumes he means as much to Mikoto as Baam does to Aguero, but what is he if not arrogant in such a self-unaware manner? ]
Tell me more about him. He liked the stars, didn't he?
[ Well he wasn't looking for ticklish spots, but he tucks that knowledge away for another time. (There's no sorry because he's not, but he does offer a quick nuzzle.) Aguero has no problem shifting to look at Tatara properly either, he never does, even in this messy bundle that they currently are.
Kings and princesses...it all makes sense, even if he's never heard Tatara refer to anyone else like that before. ]
He did. He thought he did, but I'm sure he would have loved them. It was his dream to see the real stars above the Tower one day. [ This explains his habit of stargazing nightly, even if it's only for a few minutes. And why his mana area took no time at all to find. ]
No matter how many times I told him, he never realized that he was a star himself. Bright, kind, wanting to look out for everyone even though he had nothing himself. Attracting people, attracting trouble, believing in the impossible—that was Baam.
[ He had a little princess, too. Maybe he'll talk about her someday.
A small, content smile crosses his lips. He thinks of the stars, what it must be like to want something so real, be motivated by that desire alone. Maybe it isn't so bad to have dreams, he thinks. He just wanted to make Mikoto into a star—instead, he created a supernova.
(He'll still wonder if he jinxed it somehow.) ]
People like that are rare. [ There's a light chuckle in his voice, fingers gently brushing Aguero's cheek, feeling the texture on his own skin. ] I think, even if he never realized it, he was lucky to have you. And you were lucky to have him.
[ A feeling he's had before wells in his chest, and the impulse tumbles out of his mouth before he realizes what he's saying. Before he realizes he's said similar before and was turned down. Still, he smiles, full of admiration and adoration. ]
I wish I could be something like that to you one day.
[ Aguero agrees; they are rare, and it makes him feel some way about his luck that he's managed to come across three of them in his relatively short life. He doesn't fault neither Maria or Baam though for either never realizing what he could offer them or reciprocating properly. For Aguero it was enough to simply be useful rather than appreciated, even if that's a rather cold way to put it. But he is ice deep down, even if he is ice that reaches for warmth, a spark, so he can become lightning.
Tatara's smile begets his own, clear blue attentive and then bemused. Wish? He frees an arm to cup his hand under his boyfriends chin, so their colors can meet directly. ]
Tatara—you already are. [ Easily, without hesitation. Despite everything he's felt in the past day, he's more sure of that than ever. The shape of his boyfriend in his arms is no longer fuzzy, even if he still feels like he might slip through his fingers. ]
[ Tatara moves easily under Aguero's direction, something about his touch leaving him malleable, so receptive to everything he has to offer. He gazes into blue, and his heart aches at the look on his face, but not in a way he would think jealous or envious of the people already in Aguero's life. He's happy here, with his wishes, with the knowledge he has of his boyfriend's past.
Except he isn't expecting what's coming.
...Already?
The word pierces his heart, and a warmth so dear and precious to him spreads through his chest, his limbs; they settle on his cheeks in red, and widen his eyes at the realization.
He had scared himself out of it earlier. But this time, the words are so sure, the feelings blooming in his heart certain, and hearing this, he's no longer afraid. ]
[ Every part of what's said next is so unexpected that Aguero isn't sure he's heard properly. Maybe he's gone deaf? His eyes are wide and blue, a sky without clouds. He doesn't understand and his heart contracts tightly in his chest.
Love?
The expression on his face is the same as the one he had at the bath, when Tatara first took his hand and told him the one thing he's always wanted to hear without knowing it. Awestruck, at a loss for words, entirely thrown off balance.
Instinctively his reflex is to pull away (like he did at the bath, pulling back his hand), but that fails him here. If he were going to leave that would have happened some odd time ago when he felt like he was useless and that there was no point being here. But there is a point—Tatara likes him and wants him to say. No, he loves him.
That word makes him feel dumbstruck And so very warm. ]
[ His mind starts catching up to what the core of him knows, an aftershock that reverberates in all of his bones, a lightning bolt through all of his nerves. Love? Of course he knows what love is. He's even heard it said off handedly to him before, but not in a serious way. Never once like this.
The warmth in his chest spreads like a wildfire, cheeks flush and a brigther red than even the kisses of the sun in a desert oasis. "Is that what this is?" He asks himself dumbly. Aguero has never once considered that his desire and drive to do anything, to do the impossible for the people he cherishes is love.
Ahhhh.
It's not wrong or he would have rejected it already, which means—
Tatara is a blossom of fireworks, not a star. Much too warm, much too bright, someone he can't look away from, someone who blinds him to the rest of the world around him. Someone who puts a real smile on his face, someone who makes him wonder and think of the impossible, someone who makes him feel even though he thought he was both born and raised to be numb.
Is that why he could never grasp the shape he was looking for, because it was an intangible wonder, a burst of light and fire to begin with? ]
[ A thought for later because right now he feels like he's the one exploding into glittery pieces across the night sky. He's never once not faced his feelings head on, but this is too much so he—buries himself in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.
[ The expression is familiar in his memory, bathed, metaphorically, in a warm sepia. He wonders if that's because something changes in Aguero, and he wonders if he makes similar faces when Aguero changes him. If Aguero looks at the little expressions on his face like he does, and maps them to memory—
The silence doesn't scare him. He says it because it's true, and he's certain, and he's read between the lines of Aguero's words and he sees the same feeling returned. Because why would anyone declare war against the fabric of reality itself, if not because of love?
Aguero folds into him and his hand easily slips from his cheek to cradle the back of his head. Tatara keeps him there nestled against him, just as he presses his head against his. Why is it that, even though they're tangled together like this, it doesn't feel close enough? His heart aches in a way he's never felt before and all he wants is to hold him to his soul and melt into him.
Is this what it feels like? It's so...intense. He can barely contain his own heart beating in his chest and he feels like he's going to explode and scatter like fireworks in the night sky.
For a moment, he isn't sure if he's going to laugh or cry, but laughter wins out in the end. He holds Aguero tighter, and it's only after a lengthy moment of silence does he finally say something. ]
I guess... [ His voice is hoarse, for some reason. From what? ] That makes me just as lucky, too.
[ It explains all his thoughts, his feelings, and oh how hard it is to contain. ]
[ (Aguero feels lucky too, but this isn't about him. At least to him, anyway. And as for glad, he sailed past that quite a long time ago. There's no word for what he feels right now, or maybe there's just that one. )
He still doesn't know what way is up and his heart is still thundering in his chest, but Aguero shifts back a little so he can look at his boyfriend rather than melt into him. His face is still as red and pink as the sunbeams of dawn. Curiously there's a note of purple too, a light lavender dusting the blue of his eyes; faint enough to be a trick of the light (what time is it anymore?) or maybe a reflection off their matching earrings, though it isn't quite the right shade to be that. ]
Tatara. I won't let you forget now that I know. [ "That I love you."
Words he can't say again quite yet, but that he can press between their lips and their tongues if allowed. ]
[ All of Aguero's colors are beautiful. His hair, the sunrise on his face, his eyes—his eyes. If there are any wonders in this world, Tatara thinks his eyes deserve to be one of them. Recorded in his tome for all of time to remember.
He can't finish his thought, though, because soon his eyes fall shut and they are connected yet again, in another way. But the way he kisses him, like this—how could he forget? He feels the love in everything he does, and it just serves to fuel his motivation to show the same, or more, in turn.
He throws his arms around him in a tight hold, camcorder forgotten (but still safe). He kisses him back and feels the warmth of their tangle and decides that maybe, he wouldn't mind if this was his forever.
For a brief, brief moment, he feels like he doesn't have enough time left to show Aguero just how much he loves him. ]
[ Aguero loses himself for a while in the sensation of their entwined bodies and the beating of their hearts. The kisses are slow and gentle, as he grows accustomed to what it feels like to kiss Tatara after everything they've said to each other today. It's similar and yet entirely different from the night they slept together, but he breathes in his boyfriend all the same until his limbs feel a bit less like rocks on the bottom of the sea.
Eventually he slows and stops, breathing faster but more steady. Parts of him are still sore, but it's more like a bruise now than a gash he's unable to stem. ]
I'm going to stay the night. [ He has no concept of what time it is, but whether it's 2pm or 2am, it's all the same. They have so many parts of each other to learn, but Aguero just wants to be selfish. Tomorrow is a new day and they'll have that at least. ]
[ Tatara finds it hard to let go, even when their kiss naturally slows and comes to a stop. His lips remain parted, even with the space between them, and his eyes shut. It is different, now. It was different after they decided to have this relationship, and it's changed yet again, here on the couch of his room in this quiet moment.
His fingers dig into what he can find, and a small smile crosses his face. ]
You can stay every night.
[ For the rest of his life, even. But maybe...just maybe...beyond that, too.
Tatara still doesn't have an answer, and he might not for a while yet, but what he does know is that he wants Aguero here, with him, now. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Aguero smiles small, the first real smile on his face in almost a day. ]
Well, since we're here [ he shifts a bit so they can talk better, all the while keeping his snug grip in place. ]
Is there anything else you need to tell me? I think I could forgive anything with you like this.
[ That's a lie because there's really nothing that could get him mad in the first place, oops. ]
no subject
Anything? Mmm... [ The mischief twinkles in his eyes, but only for a brief moment. ]
I've had a lot of near-death experiences. People didn't like the guys I worked with, and I was an easy target. So I've been stalked, chased, shot at, stabbed—almost—lots of times...
[ He survived most of those. But, well. ]
And... [ Let's see. What else can he be honest about. ] Oh. Jing Yuan asked me out, but I turned him down because I liked you already. [ Just getting that out there. ] Then...
[ That's not it, is it? For a brief moment, his heart hurts for a different reason. He pauses, because it's hard to talk. ]
Before you... Before this world, [ in his old life, ] there was someone else.
[ His tone is distant, like he's talking about someone from a dream long ago. ]
/2
...the next bit though is unexpected, his blue eyes wide and nonplussed momentarily. Asked him out? Heh. There's a not quite laugh, a shade amused and something else. ]
Well, I can see why. [ To both he means. ] But all's fair in love and war, except I don't play fair.
[ If the playing went as far as alligator soap bubbles because this has all been from his heart, even if it took him a long time to realize it. He doesn't say as much, but maybe the light kiss he places on the other's forehead, little more than a tickle says as much. ]
no subject
He remembers what Mikaela told him weeks ago, but he also knows that light attracts colors, shadows, and everything else in between. It even attracts someone like Aguero himself, after all. ]
We share that too, everything except the being asked out part. [ It's light but not blithe, a strand of gossamer; Aguero tracing stars with his fingers where they've come to rest. ]
Maria and Baam. I made Maria a princess and then saw her off. And Baam—I told you what happened to him.
no subject
Still, he calms with the kiss to his forehead, and he goes back to leaning his head on Aguero's shoulder. Tatara watches him, warm eyes soft, as he speaks. Though it seems obvious, considering they led their own lives before this, it is nice to know Aguero was loved, in one way or another, before coming here. ]
You did. [ His voice, too, is soft, caring. In a quiet moment of thought, he remembers what Aguero told him, all those weeks ago (was it even that long ago?), and things begin to quietly slot into place. The look on his face when he came in here, the ferocity of his resolve, his upset...
Tatara reaches to gently press his fingers against Aguero's opposite cheek, coaxing him to face him, however awkward the angle. He smiles because he sympathizes. ]
That would make you and my king the same. [ Having lost someone dear to them, tragically and without warning. Arrogantly, he assumes he means as much to Mikoto as Baam does to Aguero, but what is he if not arrogant in such a self-unaware manner? ]
Tell me more about him. He liked the stars, didn't he?
[ Or something like that. ]
no subject
Kings and princesses...it all makes sense, even if he's never heard Tatara refer to anyone else like that before. ]
He did. He thought he did, but I'm sure he would have loved them. It was his dream to see the real stars above the Tower one day. [ This explains his habit of stargazing nightly, even if it's only for a few minutes. And why his mana area took no time at all to find. ]
No matter how many times I told him, he never realized that he was a star himself. Bright, kind, wanting to look out for everyone even though he had nothing himself. Attracting people, attracting trouble, believing in the impossible—that was Baam.
no subject
A small, content smile crosses his lips. He thinks of the stars, what it must be like to want something so real, be motivated by that desire alone. Maybe it isn't so bad to have dreams, he thinks. He just wanted to make Mikoto into a star—instead, he created a supernova.
(He'll still wonder if he jinxed it somehow.) ]
People like that are rare. [ There's a light chuckle in his voice, fingers gently brushing Aguero's cheek, feeling the texture on his own skin. ] I think, even if he never realized it, he was lucky to have you. And you were lucky to have him.
[ A feeling he's had before wells in his chest, and the impulse tumbles out of his mouth before he realizes what he's saying. Before he realizes he's said similar before and was turned down. Still, he smiles, full of admiration and adoration. ]
I wish I could be something like that to you one day.
no subject
Tatara's smile begets his own, clear blue attentive and then bemused. Wish? He frees an arm to cup his hand under his boyfriends chin, so their colors can meet directly. ]
Tatara—you already are. [ Easily, without hesitation. Despite everything he's felt in the past day, he's more sure of that than ever. The shape of his boyfriend in his arms is no longer fuzzy, even if he still feels like he might slip through his fingers. ]
no subject
Except he isn't expecting what's coming.
...Already?
The word pierces his heart, and a warmth so dear and precious to him spreads through his chest, his limbs; they settle on his cheeks in red, and widen his eyes at the realization.
He had scared himself out of it earlier. But this time, the words are so sure, the feelings blooming in his heart certain, and hearing this, he's no longer afraid. ]
I love you too, Aguero.
/3
Love?
The expression on his face is the same as the one he had at the bath, when Tatara first took his hand and told him the one thing he's always wanted to hear without knowing it. Awestruck, at a loss for words, entirely thrown off balance.
Instinctively his reflex is to pull away (like he did at the bath, pulling back his hand), but that fails him here. If he were going to leave that would have happened some odd time ago when he felt like he was useless and that there was no point being here. But there is a point—Tatara likes him and wants him to say. No, he loves him.
That word makes him feel dumbstruck And so very warm. ]
no subject
The warmth in his chest spreads like a wildfire, cheeks flush and a brigther red than even the kisses of the sun in a desert oasis. "Is that what this is?" He asks himself dumbly. Aguero has never once considered that his desire and drive to do anything, to do the impossible for the people he cherishes is love.
Ahhhh.
It's not wrong or he would have rejected it already, which means—
Tatara is a blossom of fireworks, not a star. Much too warm, much too bright, someone he can't look away from, someone who blinds him to the rest of the world around him. Someone who puts a real smile on his face, someone who makes him wonder and think of the impossible, someone who makes him feel even though he thought he was both born and raised to be numb.
Is that why he could never grasp the shape he was looking for, because it was an intangible wonder, a burst of light and fire to begin with? ]
no subject
And then breathes the words across skin. ]
I...do. I love you.
no subject
The silence doesn't scare him. He says it because it's true, and he's certain, and he's read between the lines of Aguero's words and he sees the same feeling returned. Because why would anyone declare war against the fabric of reality itself, if not because of love?
Aguero folds into him and his hand easily slips from his cheek to cradle the back of his head. Tatara keeps him there nestled against him, just as he presses his head against his. Why is it that, even though they're tangled together like this, it doesn't feel close enough? His heart aches in a way he's never felt before and all he wants is to hold him to his soul and melt into him.
Is this what it feels like? It's so...intense. He can barely contain his own heart beating in his chest and he feels like he's going to explode and scatter like fireworks in the night sky.
For a moment, he isn't sure if he's going to laugh or cry, but laughter wins out in the end. He holds Aguero tighter, and it's only after a lengthy moment of silence does he finally say something. ]
I guess... [ His voice is hoarse, for some reason. From what? ] That makes me just as lucky, too.
[ It explains all his thoughts, his feelings, and oh how hard it is to contain. ]
I'm glad.
no subject
He still doesn't know what way is up and his heart is still thundering in his chest, but Aguero shifts back a little so he can look at his boyfriend rather than melt into him. His face is still as red and pink as the sunbeams of dawn. Curiously there's a note of purple too, a light lavender dusting the blue of his eyes; faint enough to be a trick of the light (what time is it anymore?) or maybe a reflection off their matching earrings, though it isn't quite the right shade to be that. ]
Tatara. I won't let you forget now that I know. [ "That I love you."
Words he can't say again quite yet, but that he can press between their lips and their tongues if allowed. ]
no subject
He can't finish his thought, though, because soon his eyes fall shut and they are connected yet again, in another way. But the way he kisses him, like this—how could he forget? He feels the love in everything he does, and it just serves to fuel his motivation to show the same, or more, in turn.
He throws his arms around him in a tight hold, camcorder forgotten (but still safe). He kisses him back and feels the warmth of their tangle and decides that maybe, he wouldn't mind if this was his forever.
For a brief, brief moment, he feels like he doesn't have enough time left to show Aguero just how much he loves him. ]
no subject
Eventually he slows and stops, breathing faster but more steady. Parts of him are still sore, but it's more like a bruise now than a gash he's unable to stem. ]
I'm going to stay the night. [ He has no concept of what time it is, but whether it's 2pm or 2am, it's all the same. They have so many parts of each other to learn, but Aguero just wants to be selfish. Tomorrow is a new day and they'll have that at least. ]
no subject
His fingers dig into what he can find, and a small smile crosses his face. ]
You can stay every night.
[ For the rest of his life, even. But maybe...just maybe...beyond that, too.
Tatara still doesn't have an answer, and he might not for a while yet, but what he does know is that he wants Aguero here, with him, now. ]