Or it could be 'cause the stars here are different. Either-and. [ He'll explain the "how" later, whenever they get to try figuring out how to tackle this. ]
...I've gotta go back, at least until my assignment back home's done. [ Heaven knows how long it'll take because it's contingent on an investigation that has been held up for two years and counting now. ] And...to be honest, at first, I kinda figured it'd just be business as usual when I showed up here. I'd be a part of you guys' lives for a while, then I'd be out and that'd be it. Even if I ended up changin' someone's life a little, it wouldn't really matter.
[ That's no longer the case, or he wouldn't be here. ]
But then I ended up gettin' to know a bunch of people here, and...I guess I'm finally tired of always givin' up. [ Which feels kind of surreal to say, because he's having to describe and properly label some of the thoughts he's had. ]
The thing is, I ain't even sure where to start. We've had this problem for like, millennium back home, and we still haven't figured out a real fix. I ain't expectin' to find a way to fix the underlyin' problem 'cause it's kinda... [ He makes a gesture with his hands as if to emphasize the size of it. ] big. But some way to stick in everyone's memories somehow, maybe.
[ A small, sympathetic smile crosses Tatara's face, because he was much the same. He felt like he was just waiting for his end to come. And once he'd ushered everyone home, he'd return to oblivion, like he was meant to do.
Things are a little different now. ]
Hmm. [ After a moment of thought, he turns to grab his camera from his desk and flips it on. The film whirs as he turns to face it to Day.
Not sure if this'll work, but may as well try. ]
Have you thought about giving trinkets to people who you want to remember you? Or maybe...a little note?
[ Day is reminded of the first impression he had of Tatara and still sort of does, for some reason: that Tatara was like the breeze, in the way Day is like the morning mist. However, things are a little different now.
He watches Tatara take out the camera, confused because he has no idea what a camera is. ]
I have, but it ain't so simple as that. The way the forgettin' works is like...people forget who I am, but they still remember the stuff I did, yeah? So there's just a bunch of gaps and wrinkles where they remember things that matter to them, but they can't remember who it came from. [ A pause. ] And people are real good at tryin' to make things make sense to themselves. They try and fill in the gaps with answers that seem reasonable, and most of the time that means assignin' some other cause. Fate helps iron stuff out. [ He has to wonder how many people understand "fate" the same way he does, though. To him, it's the law of causality, not necessarily predestination. ] So I'd worry that just givin' trinkets means...well, the meanin' will change after I've gone.
And I can try leavin' some sorta written record, but fate also has a bad habit of findin' ways to make sure those don't last. [ Said in the weary tone of someone who has tried before and got thwarted at every turn. ] Wouldn't know if that still holds up here, though.
...I can think of a few people who might be able to remember better too, wizard or not. But they can still end up forgettin' with enough time and distance.
[ The camera doesn't pick up on the way Tatara's frown grows the more he hears. Day's not the only one who wants to be remembered, somehow, after this.
This is a little bit beyond him, but he's already mentally tucking it away for when he looks more into returning them home. ]
A lot of things and memories fade with time. A lot of really old wizards can't remember the faces from their pasts anymore, either. I think, after a point...that's just how things are.
[ ... ]
But I know that's not what you're asking. You said...it's because of your job that people forget, right?
[ siri how do you get a heavenly bureaucrat fired— ]
[ Spitballing, thinking, because he really doesn't know how any of this works, but— ]
I guess you'd keep that blessing, regardless of what you are, right? [ hmm, hmm ] I dunno if it's possible, but maybe you could maintain a connection to this world, and stay a wizard...
[ Since wizards are fundamentally different beings? ]
I mean...I guess? [ Like, wizards are still mortals, as far as Day's concerned, just kind of unusual ones? ] I ain't sure how it works, either, this is uncharted territory.
It's sorta like...the blessin' means I'm tied to the stars, and one of the constellations back home is more or less shattered porcelain now? So that constellations hides my fate from the rest of the world, which is why everyone forgets. But I guess it wouldn't matter if I still had some kinda tie to this world, sorta like an anchor...
[ Hmmm... ]
...There's another thing too, but, uh...keep it between just me and you?
[ Hmm, find an anchor, then. Tatara has almost no idea where to start looking for something like that, but he makes a mental note to write that down as soon as he can.
The "other thing" draws his attention back, and he nods. He's listening (and recording) and he won't tell a soul. ]
Alright. I'm prob'ly gonna ask around some of the more, uh, scholarly types too. At least try and get some ideas. [ Because frankly, Day has been winging it with magic since the very start. He suspects that any solution to this will, similarly, also have to be bullshitted to some degree. ]
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no subject
...I've gotta go back, at least until my assignment back home's done. [ Heaven knows how long it'll take because it's contingent on an investigation that has been held up for two years and counting now. ] And...to be honest, at first, I kinda figured it'd just be business as usual when I showed up here. I'd be a part of you guys' lives for a while, then I'd be out and that'd be it. Even if I ended up changin' someone's life a little, it wouldn't really matter.
[ That's no longer the case, or he wouldn't be here. ]
But then I ended up gettin' to know a bunch of people here, and...I guess I'm finally tired of always givin' up. [ Which feels kind of surreal to say, because he's having to describe and properly label some of the thoughts he's had. ]
The thing is, I ain't even sure where to start. We've had this problem for like, millennium back home, and we still haven't figured out a real fix. I ain't expectin' to find a way to fix the underlyin' problem 'cause it's kinda... [ He makes a gesture with his hands as if to emphasize the size of it. ] big. But some way to stick in everyone's memories somehow, maybe.
no subject
Things are a little different now. ]
Hmm. [ After a moment of thought, he turns to grab his camera from his desk and flips it on. The film whirs as he turns to face it to Day.
Not sure if this'll work, but may as well try. ]
Have you thought about giving trinkets to people who you want to remember you? Or maybe...a little note?
no subject
He watches Tatara take out the camera, confused because he has no idea what a camera is. ]
I have, but it ain't so simple as that. The way the forgettin' works is like...people forget who I am, but they still remember the stuff I did, yeah? So there's just a bunch of gaps and wrinkles where they remember things that matter to them, but they can't remember who it came from. [ A pause. ] And people are real good at tryin' to make things make sense to themselves. They try and fill in the gaps with answers that seem reasonable, and most of the time that means assignin' some other cause. Fate helps iron stuff out. [ He has to wonder how many people understand "fate" the same way he does, though. To him, it's the law of causality, not necessarily predestination. ] So I'd worry that just givin' trinkets means...well, the meanin' will change after I've gone.
And I can try leavin' some sorta written record, but fate also has a bad habit of findin' ways to make sure those don't last. [ Said in the weary tone of someone who has tried before and got thwarted at every turn. ] Wouldn't know if that still holds up here, though.
...I can think of a few people who might be able to remember better too, wizard or not. But they can still end up forgettin' with enough time and distance.
no subject
This is a little bit beyond him, but he's already mentally tucking it away for when he looks more into returning them home. ]
A lot of things and memories fade with time. A lot of really old wizards can't remember the faces from their pasts anymore, either. I think, after a point...that's just how things are.
[ ... ]
But I know that's not what you're asking. You said...it's because of your job that people forget, right?
[ siri how do you get a heavenly bureaucrat fired— ]
What if...you stayed a wizard?
no subject
Well, more like it's the blessin' I got. The job's just part of the package.
[ ...But then Tatara suggests that, and Day has to pause. ]
What do you mean?
no subject
I guess you'd keep that blessing, regardless of what you are, right? [ hmm, hmm ] I dunno if it's possible, but maybe you could maintain a connection to this world, and stay a wizard...
[ Since wizards are fundamentally different beings? ]
no subject
It's sorta like...the blessin' means I'm tied to the stars, and one of the constellations back home is more or less shattered porcelain now? So that constellations hides my fate from the rest of the world, which is why everyone forgets. But I guess it wouldn't matter if I still had some kinda tie to this world, sorta like an anchor...
[ Hmmm... ]
...There's another thing too, but, uh...keep it between just me and you?
no subject
The "other thing" draws his attention back, and he nods. He's listening (and recording) and he won't tell a soul. ]
no subject
[ With the unstated follow-up of "So I definitely have to figure out something before this is all over." ]
no subject
For a long moment, all he does is stare at Day. Hm. This. Is a big problem. ]
That makes this a little more complicated, doesn't it?
[ Eventually, his expression breaks into a sheepish smile, but it's also a bit sad. ]
It's okay. We'll figure something out.
no subject
...Yeah. Sorry, I kinda had to...drop all that on you.
no subject
[ It's a lot, but he's glad Day isn't shouldering it alone. ]
Thank you for telling me. I'll keep looking stuff up, and I'll let you know if I find anything, okay?
no subject
no subject
And if you find anything, let me know. Two heads are better than one, right?