[ Tatara's smile softens, and he tilts his head into Aguero's touch. For all his supposed sharp edges, all he's ever shown Tatara is warmth and softness, hasn't he?
There's an anticipation in the air as he waits, and the longer Aguero puts it off the stronger it grows. His hands slowly slip from his shoulders and down his chest. He wonders if he can feel Aguero's heart beating as hard as his own.
He blinks in surprise when the box poofs into existence before him, and his lips part in awe as the lid opens. The ring shines brightly in all its blues and reds and golds in his eyes, like his own personal fireworks show, and he simply can't tear his eyes away. ]
Aguero, it's beautiful... [ He breathes his name with awe, but not as loud as he can normally muster. His heart and lungs are too busy pumping blood to his face to paint his cheeks a beautiful crimson.
Slowly, he draws his eyes up from the ring, to settle on the color of eternity.
Whatever he wants, hm? ]
I want you, always. I want this ring, but only when I can't hold you myself, and I think I'll always want to be where I can hold you.
[ His eyes soften, because he comes down from the high of his love and remembers the little time he has left, his end ticking ever nearer. And it's as he stares at the beautiful mix of sapphire and blood that he realizes he's found his answer.
His heart pounds in his throat. He lifts his hands to hold them before Aguero, a sign of his acceptance of the ring. He can put it in his palms, or on any of his fingers. ]
No matter what happens...I want to be with you, forever, Aguero. The more I think about it...the less I can imagine a life or a world without you.
[ Much like his king, though Aguero was never a replacement for his king. He's so deeply, torridly, hopelessly in love that Aguero has become the air he breathes. ]
[ Khun Aguero Agnis stares dumbstruck at what he's just seen, at what he's just heard. For a moment or two he even wonders if he's heard correctly, heard forever in the entirety of it's meaning and not just impassioned whispers and lovestruck fantasies. But he sees it in the warm coral reflected in his blue, hears it in his voice and the outstretched hands before him. This isn't fantasy at all, but somehow reality.
He had hoped of course, that Tatara would like the ring, that it would give him some comfort and yes that he would see it as an offering of his love because that's exactly what it is. Weeks ago when the idea first popped into his head, before they had begun dating, he had the thought to give Tatara a ring enchanted for his protection. But then he had gotten swept away in the bright lights of the fireworks they create together, and by the time he thought of the idea again, he knew that giving his boyfriend a ring would have to be special. And maybe he was a bit uneasy about offering something that had such a distinct romantic message, especially after their talk on the couch. But then after the way they had fallen together post Northern mission, he had realized that it was something he wanted to do regardless. For Tatara yes, but also for himself—it felt right.
So he had hoped to see that vivid red again, the red that reminds him of a secluded grassy field at dusk and the first night they had made love laced with sugar. But that's all he had hoped for, because hope simply isn't something he really does. It's not part of him in the same way that he's spent all of his life searching for that missing part of himself: a reason to struggle and actually live. Ironically, he had understood Tatara's answer more that night than he ever let on because he was exactly the same. Indifferent to what happened in his life, to himself, until Maria came along. And it hurt, both because he really couldn't fault Tatara for it but also because he believed (now more than ever) that he deserves to live, to shine.
It wasn't the time to talk about it then he had decided, but it's always been in the back of his mind. He knows their time is coming up (he was in some way awfully amused when everyone else seemed to realize recently what's been on his shoulders for weeks). Every now and then the thought would get itchy and he'd push it to the side: not yet, not yet, not yet. He'd know the time when it came and this he had resolved to himself except—he really had no idea at all, did he?
Just like when they first met at the bath, when they shared their first kiss over coffee, and even that night on the couch when Tatara had asked him to stay when he was already justifying to himself that he wasn't needed. Tatara always surprises him in the best of ways, always shows him a light and brightness he can't even imagine, let alone entertain the thought that it's real.
And he'll never, ever, forget that Tatara reached out first. ]
Tatara you— [ The awe gives way to the fire inside of his eyes, realization spreading across like lightning down his skin, bones, nerves and to his heart. He grins, eyes a vivid azure that kowtows to nothing except coral. ]
You did it again. How does it feel to completely steal my heart a second time? I won't be able to separate from you now, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when.
—but that's what we both want. [ Aguero takes Tatara's left hand, sliding the jeweled band onto his ring finger. ]
With you I feel, I know I'll be able to climb to the top of the Tower, beyond that, into the clouds and the stars. That's what forever is, it makes the impossible, possible.
I can't wait.
[ Said again, much the same and entirely different than the night he thought it had slipped through his fingers. Ahh, he's positively giddy, the edges of his blue thrumming with purple. ]
[ It is what he wants. It's all that he wants, and when Tatara returned from the North with the rest of the Northern wizards, spooked, that's when he realized that was all he wanted. The thought of losing Aguero, somehow, in any capacity, hurt too much to think about. And that might have been the first time in his life he had felt attachment so real that it pained him. He watches the ring slip onto his finger, the cool metal slowly warming to his skin, and it feels right. That's where it belongs, just in the way he and Aguero belong to each other.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows what it means, that this is essentially an engagement, a marriage, of sorts. When he was certain his life would be ending about now, only a few months ago, this feels like the right way things should go. But now he knows there's a chance he'll actually have a life to spend with another. And at the thought, he feels his chest ache, his cheeks burn, and his eyes prick with tears.
Tatara lifts his gaze to see violet encroaching on azure and it steals his breath away. He knows that color. He doesn't know the full context of the color, so he assumes it's for him. That's his red, changing Aguero the same way his blue changed Tatara for good, the ring on his finger making the mixing of their colors in him permanent.
Slowly, a smile crosses his lips. It's bittersweet, he does not realize, because he's so overwhelmed with emotions. ]
Me neither.
[ His fingers entangle with Aguero's as he leans in closer, getting a closer look at his red in his eyes. They are beautiful together, he thinks. ]
I want to walk with you every step of the way. I want to be there when you reach the top and see the stars and claim the heavens as your own. Whatever you want to do, I want to help you get there.
[ It's weird, thinking of the future in a concrete way like this, even if it is still draped in metaphors and stardust. ]
For as long as I live. I'm yours.
[ And now, he hopes his life lasts long enough to spend many, many years with Aguero. ]
[ Even though the blood in his veins is electric, he doesn't miss the beginning glimmer of tears, or the bitter note on those lips he loves to eat so much. Usually he might hesitate, at least internally, with what he should do in a situation like this--he really isn't good at offering comfort. But with his mind and thoughts ablaze he has no doubts at all. ]
Tatara. [ He closes the distance, not for a kiss, but until their foreheads touch; a mirror of their positioning in the kitchen that first day he tasted what he would come to want forever. Still their lips brush like this, his own just as warm as the now bright violet of his eyes. ]
Whatever needs to happen, I'll figure it all out. I'll make it happen, here and when you come back with me to the Tower. I'll protect you always, I'll do anything for you always, because now that you've given me permission, given me all of you, you're part of me. The part I was looking for all along.
So you'll be with me as long as I live. [ ...which naturally, will be a long time. unnaturally? Only the future knows that answer. ]
[ He's so warm. Tatara absorbs the warmth from his eyes and his forehead and it burns in his chest, behind his eyes. The tears don't spill, not even when he blinks, but it's there, as is the lump in his throat, and he doesn't even know why he's reacting like this. He isn't sad—not really. There's a slight prospect he might not actually make it, but it isn't that. He's not worried. But it isn't joy? It's a bit different from that.
A quiet laugh spills from his lips, and his flushed cheeks lift. Whatever he holds of Aguero he holds it tighter, because all he wants is to absorb him into himself and keep him with him forever.
Tatara sighs. And unable to really contain himself, he leans to gently brush his lips against Aguero's—not wanting, or needy, but cherishing. To cement their bond with one another. ]
I love you too, Aguero. [ Never in his mind did he doubt his own feelings. When Aguero declared war on the cosmos back on the couch in his room, he felt it then, and he knew his answer came with a too. Always, always. ]
And I want to thank you for showing me I could love you into forever. That maybe it is okay to fight the rules of every world so that we can stay together.
[ He'd close his eyes, but he can't tear his away from the violet. It's beautiful, their forever. ]
I wouldn't be here without you.
[ He whispers this, because admitting that feels like it will make him cry. ]
[ Ahh, some part of him almost feels guilty. But he's not going to apologize, not when they had said no more sorrys or maybes in the future. Still, he wants to do what he can. Aguero can't understand everything Tatara is feeling but he knows that he's asked for a lot. The desire to live, actually live is heavy, and it's this that makes him separate one of their hands (not the one with the ring) so that he can hold him more properly.
His thoughts are still lightning, but the touch of their lips has brushed a smile on his own. ]
Of course it is. Anyone that tried to tell us otherwise would be wrong. [ A squeeze of their joined hands, the gold warming between them both. ]
And I wouldn't be whole without you. You give me hope, so the fact that I was able to give some back to you...I don't have a word for how that makes me feel. [ But it's undoubtedly, a good one. ]
It's okay. [ To cry or do anything else. ] I need you too.
[ What a weight off his chest to finally admit that to anyone for the first time in his life. ]
[ Tatara leans into the hold, gently at first, but then fully presses himself into Aguero. He wishes there was a way for them to be closer (well, there is—) and his heart genuinely aches with love and affection. He squeezes his hand tight, wishing he could hold it tighter. The ring on his finger feels foreign now, but he's sure that it'll be a part of him before he knows it.
He breathes a quiet laugh into Aguero's skin, and the word settles warm in his chest. ]
Is this hope? [ There's joy in his voice, despite the weight on him. ] If it is...I don't think I've ever felt it before. But...it's a gift from you, and I'm going to cherish it.
[ This hope, the desire to live, being needed—it's all so weighty, and his heart hurts, but it's not something he would give up for the world. Weird, how being attached feels.
He draws himself upright, a bright, but sheepish smile on his face. He wipes at his eyes, rubbing away the tears before he can make a mess of himself. ]
I'm here. Whatever you need from me, I'll give it to you. I just... [ There's almost a laugh in there. ] I don't know what to do with myself. I think I'm going to explode.
[ he laughs a little, breathy as he continues to follow his impulses and thoughts like lightning cuts through the sky. they can be closer, and just like that the chair they're on shifts to a chaise, blue and plush and velvet. like this he's laid down entirely on his back, his boyfriend fully on top, straddling him.
this is his lighthouse and he makes the rules after all. ]
If you explode, I'll just gather you up in my hands until you're whole again.
[ he doesn't need to say no exploding now that he believes the impossible is possible. if there are any errant tears left, he'll take them with his fingers and press them against his lips and lick them with his tongue. he can bear anything of tatara's, no matter what it is. ]
I need you, forever. But don't forget that means you have me too. So whatever you need from me, you can have always.
Do you want anything right now?
[ if there's not, he doesn't mind voicing more of his thoughts but; as ineffable as he feels, what he really wants is for tatara to use all of him however he wants-or needs. ]
[ For some reason, the change in answer this time causes his heart to skip a beat. Tatara is always content to go with the flow, to accept things as they happen. It's only recently that he learned how to fight back, to understand what that means to some people, and to sympathize with them. But there will always be a part of him that will lean into what fate decides for him, so for Aguero to say that, to let him explode and gather him back up again, feels like he's speaking his own language. Showing Tatara he cares in ways he understands.
He beams, breathes a little laugh, and the tears spill past his eyes. It's overwhelming. Aguero's welcome to take what he can catch, because Tatara wipes away the rest.
Eventually he crumples onto Aguero fully, pressing his chest to his and burying his face into the crook of his neck. This feels so much better. It soothes him, and he feels at peace. ]
I want you. [ He says this quietly, breathed onto his skin. ] I want your touch and your love, your words and your laughter and all of your time.
[ It's hard to describe exactly how he feels, or what he wants or needs from Aguero, because his love for him genuinely feels like it cannot be contained in the small frame of his body.
But also. ]
And cotton candy ice cream.
[ That's what this feels like, he thinks, and maybe if he could eat it, it would sate him, somehow, ]
[ tatara can have all that of, he has all of that now, but aguero doesn't get to say that because when he drops the ice cream request he can't help but laugh with his entire body.
once he's caught his breath again he's grinning, still purple and bright. ]
I love you so much, you're perfect. [ in all the ways, but this ability to be earnest in everything might be what he loves the most. ]
Okay, I'll get you cotton candy ice cream. Someone has to deliver out here.
[ It's hard not to laugh himself when Aguero's bubbling with laughter beneath him like this. Tatara lifts his head and grins, and soon he finds himself laughing along too, because why not? How the sound fills him with joy, and how he grins back. ]
Of course I am. I think it'll taste better if we share.
[ He shifts a hand to poke at Aguero's lips, an echo of a date they had so long ago. ]
Who's bringing us the ice cream?
Edited (if IT SHARES??? what language am i speaking....) 2024-06-18 14:11 (UTC)
[ aguero thinks to himself that the only way he's eating something that sweet is if he has tatara's lips to go along with it, but he'll save that comment for when they actually have the ice cream. ]
Hmm... [ looks at my ridiculous rolls which means this time he's definitely awake enough to nip back at the poke. ]
The Western spirits. They obviously approve of us as much as it's people do~. [ he has no idea actually but he #believes and because i rolled a 19 this is indeed happening. with a murmur of his incantation he makes his request and then settles back to wait. ]
Though if anyone didn't approve of us, I'd have to show them otherwise.
[ while he really doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, he'll never stand for anyone thinking less of tatara. ]
[ Tatara's grin shifts to something more playful when Aguero nips back because that's just how he is. ]
Good. [ Good! If the spirits approve, then there's literally nothing he has to worry about anymore, at least with regards to their relationship. Validated, they have the spirits' blessing, Kurapika can't yell at him anymore. ]
I could just show them the ring. Right? [ He looks at it again, and beams. ] Or...could I just tell them how amazing you are?
[ He wants an excuse to talk about him to everyone!
—Speaking of, though. There's a quiet poof, and the ice cream in cones suddenly appear above them, floating in the air! Delivery!! ]
Tatara—[ those are both so much in different ways. ] Don't tell anyone that has some of my blood in it, okay? That's a secret just for you and me. And don't let anyone take it off your finger.
[ it's not that flashy but it's also clearly well made. he also just worries and it's easier to address the practical than the image of tatara gushing about him to a total stranger.
the ice cream is a good way to distract him though. he's surprised it came that fast? he puts a hand on tatara's back, holding him against himself as he sits up. boyfriend situps, heheh. ]
That came really fast~ I must be their favorite. [ tatara's free to rearrange himself however he likes now that they're both sitting up, aguero reaching to pull down the ice cones.
[ Oh! This is romantic. (?) Tatara is surprised by the movement but the little dust of pink on his ears tells a different story. Aguero is so strong...
He laughs. ] You're my favorite, too.
[ He'll take the cone and he beams at it, in all its blue and and purple and pink glory.
He's not so distracted that he forgets what Aguero tells him, though. ]
I won't. [ He licks a bit. Mm, it's sweet. ] Your blood is powerful. But I don't think I want anyone else having it.
[ He's keeping him to himself if he can help it. ]
Good. [ not that aguero won't be keeping an eye out for tatara no matter what he's doing, but it does soothe some of his worries knowing that he knows how important it is too.
in less important matters, tatara gets to see how skillfully his boyfriend eats ice cream, which is to say he's one of those people who starts methodically by the cone so that he won't spill any on himself.
mmm, fruity. ]
It's strong in the Tower too, because my father is Khun Eduan of the Ten Families. And even among the rest of the families, there's only one other line who can match our power and speed.
That's why I never offered my blood to our resident vampires, nor will I ever offer my blood to anyone else here and back in the Tower, except for you.
[ okay he's not a bleeding heart anyway but his point still stands. ]
[ Tatara doesn't really think about the method, but he does like watching Aguero eat ice cream. He'll pause in his own eating to watch him for a bit, and he'll only remember he has a cone for himself when some drips onto his thumb... Oops. As he licks it up, he decides that cotton candy ice cream is nowhere near as sweet as how he feels for him. ]
Huh. That would make sense. Your lineage is pretty impressive, but... Hmm, I'm pretty sure you're amazing not just because of your blood or your dad.
[ It's a part of him, but it's not all of him! He says this idly, his train of thought carrying him.
Also he totally remembered there are vampires in the manor. ]
I'll treasure it. And I'll never let it go.
[ He means this sincerely.
Tatara licks at the ice cream a little more messily than Aguero does, and some gets over his lip. For a split second, he's about to lick it off, but soon he decides otherwise. He leans in to press his cotton candy-flavored lips to Aguero's, so he can get a little taste of it. And maybe so he can have a hint of whatever it is he's having, too. ]
[ the cotton candy is much too sweet, but it's also not sweet enough compared to his boyfriend. tatara really is the exception to everything when it comes to aguero, and now that he knows he'll have him forever, it's likely to get even worse (somehow).
aguero keeps his eyes closed for a few moments after their lips touch because they're still eating ice cream and remembering that fact is important. doing so makes his mind wander to the practical of this engagement, and he blinks his eyes open (still lavender), almost with a guilty expression. he doesn't do guilt but this is the closest he gets to it. ]
You're my treasure, Tatara. There'll be others who want to steal you and worse, particularly my family because they're greedy like me. But I'll protect you no matter what.
There's a few people I trust too, that I'll have to introduce you to. It'll be dangerous but... I don't think you'll be bored.
Don't forget I want you, too. If I could pledge the entirety of the rest of my life to you I would. No one else could ever compare.
[ He hasn't met them yet and he knows. His loyalty to Mikoto was unwavering, and he doesn't see why that same attachment, obsession, tenacity can't be for Aguero, too. ]
I've run from the yakuza before. I'll run from your family.
[ He says this with a grin as he takes another lick, swipes the errant smudges of cream from his lips. He won't ever let his boyfriend forget that this is mutual.
He gives a little chuckle. ] I could never be bored with you.
[ ...
There's a sheepish little look in his eyes when he looks at him again. ]
Is it weird? ...I don't think I've ever looked forward to something like I'm looking forward to life with you.
[ all aguero can do is smile, a bit hapless, as tatara soothes his sore spots. that and make a note to be more thorough with his tongue next time to get all the cream. at least he can practice on his own sweet treat in preparation.
when their eyes meet he blinks once, the corner of his lips tugging up slightly. ]
It's not. I don't think I looked forward to anything until we met, so we've done this to each other.
Tell me something specific you're looking forward to, and I'll tell you one of mine.
[ Tatara hums as he licks at his ice cream more, and he studies the purple and pink and wonders if those are the colors of his future. ]
I think being a part of your everyday. [ He draws his gaze away from the ice cream and back to Aguero's hues. ] I want to wake up one morning beside you and realize that this is the life we have together. I want to realize that I can't imagine anything besides the routine we have. I want to look at the walls and shelves and see it filled with our stories and memories.
[ He chuckles a bit, flush in his cheeks. It's so specific, but so broad, and probably mundane. Maybe not the weird excitement they've both come to fall into with one another, but there's nothing he treasures more than peace with his loved ones. ]
[ mundane? maybe. but the very thought of it is warm and comforting, and something he never thought he'd be able to have.
his smile warms, and he abandons his ice cream momentarily to give tatara a one armed hug, maybe a squeeze even with their current positioning. ]
The places I own are big, so we'll have a lot of memories to make. [ that's probably a good thing? he takes a big bite out of his ice cream, not all that coincidentally. ]
I'll give you two, since one of them is selfish.
I'm looking forward to not sharing you with anyone else ever again. You won't be a sage anymore in the Tower, you'll simply be mine.
...and I'm looking forward to having you besides me as I climb higher and higher. To have you in spaces where it was just me before, so that I can't remember what being alone ever felt like.
[ It's hard to grin while licking ice cream, but it's even harder to fight the urge. He likes that idea. He thinks of massive shelves filled with every trinket that reminds him of Aguero, and he thinks of every story they'll make along the way. He's just as selfish, just as impatient, because he wants to know what those are now.
He'll lean into Aguero for something resembling a hug, because he's still busy licking his ice cream. ]
I like the sound of that. [ He says this softly, between licks. ] I guess I don't really mind being the sage, but...I can't wait for the day when I don't have to look at anybody but you.
[ Or stay by anyone else's side. Or help anyone else. ]
...you're making it very hard to eat my ice cream, Tatara. [ words like that, meant only for him, that feed his innate desire to own and control—they'll always stroke the fire within him. the soft sound of licking in his otherwise quiet lighthouse doesn't help either.
he takes another big bite of out his ice cream to cool himself with a sigh. ]
I want to protect you, cherish you, spoil you, and wear you always.
[ even if he's doing that mostly here (though by how he looks at it, he's only fully "worn" tatara now by giving him that ring) being able to do it with all of him with his power and resources in the tower will be different. not to mention, now he knows it really will be forever. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
There's an anticipation in the air as he waits, and the longer Aguero puts it off the stronger it grows. His hands slowly slip from his shoulders and down his chest. He wonders if he can feel Aguero's heart beating as hard as his own.
He blinks in surprise when the box poofs into existence before him, and his lips part in awe as the lid opens. The ring shines brightly in all its blues and reds and golds in his eyes, like his own personal fireworks show, and he simply can't tear his eyes away. ]
Aguero, it's beautiful... [ He breathes his name with awe, but not as loud as he can normally muster. His heart and lungs are too busy pumping blood to his face to paint his cheeks a beautiful crimson.
Slowly, he draws his eyes up from the ring, to settle on the color of eternity.
Whatever he wants, hm? ]
I want you, always. I want this ring, but only when I can't hold you myself, and I think I'll always want to be where I can hold you.
[ His eyes soften, because he comes down from the high of his love and remembers the little time he has left, his end ticking ever nearer. And it's as he stares at the beautiful mix of sapphire and blood that he realizes he's found his answer.
His heart pounds in his throat. He lifts his hands to hold them before Aguero, a sign of his acceptance of the ring. He can put it in his palms, or on any of his fingers. ]
No matter what happens...I want to be with you, forever, Aguero. The more I think about it...the less I can imagine a life or a world without you.
[ Much like his king, though Aguero was never a replacement for his king. He's so deeply, torridly, hopelessly in love that Aguero has become the air he breathes. ]
/2
He had hoped of course, that Tatara would like the ring, that it would give him some comfort and yes that he would see it as an offering of his love because that's exactly what it is. Weeks ago when the idea first popped into his head, before they had begun dating, he had the thought to give Tatara a ring enchanted for his protection. But then he had gotten swept away in the bright lights of the fireworks they create together, and by the time he thought of the idea again, he knew that giving his boyfriend a ring would have to be special. And maybe he was a bit uneasy about offering something that had such a distinct romantic message, especially after their talk on the couch. But then after the way they had fallen together post Northern mission, he had realized that it was something he wanted to do regardless. For Tatara yes, but also for himself—it felt right.
So he had hoped to see that vivid red again, the red that reminds him of a secluded grassy field at dusk and the first night they had made love laced with sugar. But that's all he had hoped for, because hope simply isn't something he really does. It's not part of him in the same way that he's spent all of his life searching for that missing part of himself: a reason to struggle and actually live. Ironically, he had understood Tatara's answer more that night than he ever let on because he was exactly the same. Indifferent to what happened in his life, to himself, until Maria came along. And it hurt, both because he really couldn't fault Tatara for it but also because he believed (now more than ever) that he deserves to live, to shine.
It wasn't the time to talk about it then he had decided, but it's always been in the back of his mind. He knows their time is coming up (he was in some way awfully amused when everyone else seemed to realize recently what's been on his shoulders for weeks). Every now and then the thought would get itchy and he'd push it to the side: not yet, not yet, not yet. He'd know the time when it came and this he had resolved to himself except—he really had no idea at all, did he?
Just like when they first met at the bath, when they shared their first kiss over coffee, and even that night on the couch when Tatara had asked him to stay when he was already justifying to himself that he wasn't needed. Tatara always surprises him in the best of ways, always shows him a light and brightness he can't even imagine, let alone entertain the thought that it's real.
And he'll never, ever, forget that Tatara reached out first. ]
no subject
You did it again. How does it feel to completely steal my heart a second time? I won't be able to separate from you now, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when.
—but that's what we both want. [ Aguero takes Tatara's left hand, sliding the jeweled band onto his ring finger. ]
With you I feel, I know I'll be able to climb to the top of the Tower, beyond that, into the clouds and the stars. That's what forever is, it makes the impossible, possible.
I can't wait.
[ Said again, much the same and entirely different than the night he thought it had slipped through his fingers. Ahh, he's positively giddy, the edges of his blue thrumming with purple. ]
no subject
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows what it means, that this is essentially an engagement, a marriage, of sorts. When he was certain his life would be ending about now, only a few months ago, this feels like the right way things should go. But now he knows there's a chance he'll actually have a life to spend with another. And at the thought, he feels his chest ache, his cheeks burn, and his eyes prick with tears.
Tatara lifts his gaze to see violet encroaching on azure and it steals his breath away. He knows that color. He doesn't know the full context of the color, so he assumes it's for him. That's his red, changing Aguero the same way his blue changed Tatara for good, the ring on his finger making the mixing of their colors in him permanent.
Slowly, a smile crosses his lips. It's bittersweet, he does not realize, because he's so overwhelmed with emotions. ]
Me neither.
[ His fingers entangle with Aguero's as he leans in closer, getting a closer look at his red in his eyes. They are beautiful together, he thinks. ]
I want to walk with you every step of the way. I want to be there when you reach the top and see the stars and claim the heavens as your own. Whatever you want to do, I want to help you get there.
[ It's weird, thinking of the future in a concrete way like this, even if it is still draped in metaphors and stardust. ]
For as long as I live. I'm yours.
[ And now, he hopes his life lasts long enough to spend many, many years with Aguero. ]
no subject
Tatara. [ He closes the distance, not for a kiss, but until their foreheads touch; a mirror of their positioning in the kitchen that first day he tasted what he would come to want forever. Still their lips brush like this, his own just as warm as the now bright violet of his eyes. ]
Whatever needs to happen, I'll figure it all out. I'll make it happen, here and when you come back with me to the Tower. I'll protect you always, I'll do anything for you always, because now that you've given me permission, given me all of you, you're part of me. The part I was looking for all along.
So you'll be with me as long as I live. [ ...which naturally, will be a long time. unnaturally? Only the future knows that answer. ]
I love you.
no subject
A quiet laugh spills from his lips, and his flushed cheeks lift. Whatever he holds of Aguero he holds it tighter, because all he wants is to absorb him into himself and keep him with him forever.
Tatara sighs. And unable to really contain himself, he leans to gently brush his lips against Aguero's—not wanting, or needy, but cherishing. To cement their bond with one another. ]
I love you too, Aguero. [ Never in his mind did he doubt his own feelings. When Aguero declared war on the cosmos back on the couch in his room, he felt it then, and he knew his answer came with a too. Always, always. ]
And I want to thank you for showing me I could love you into forever. That maybe it is okay to fight the rules of every world so that we can stay together.
[ He'd close his eyes, but he can't tear his away from the violet. It's beautiful, their forever. ]
I wouldn't be here without you.
[ He whispers this, because admitting that feels like it will make him cry. ]
no subject
His thoughts are still lightning, but the touch of their lips has brushed a smile on his own. ]
Of course it is. Anyone that tried to tell us otherwise would be wrong. [ A squeeze of their joined hands, the gold warming between them both. ]
And I wouldn't be whole without you. You give me hope, so the fact that I was able to give some back to you...I don't have a word for how that makes me feel. [ But it's undoubtedly, a good one. ]
It's okay. [ To cry or do anything else. ] I need you too.
[ What a weight off his chest to finally admit that to anyone for the first time in his life. ]
no subject
He breathes a quiet laugh into Aguero's skin, and the word settles warm in his chest. ]
Is this hope? [ There's joy in his voice, despite the weight on him. ] If it is...I don't think I've ever felt it before. But...it's a gift from you, and I'm going to cherish it.
[ This hope, the desire to live, being needed—it's all so weighty, and his heart hurts, but it's not something he would give up for the world. Weird, how being attached feels.
He draws himself upright, a bright, but sheepish smile on his face. He wipes at his eyes, rubbing away the tears before he can make a mess of himself. ]
I'm here. Whatever you need from me, I'll give it to you. I just... [ There's almost a laugh in there. ] I don't know what to do with myself. I think I'm going to explode.
[ In fireworks, this time. ]
no subject
this is his lighthouse and he makes the rules after all. ]
If you explode, I'll just gather you up in my hands until you're whole again.
[ he doesn't need to say no exploding now that he believes the impossible is possible. if there are any errant tears left, he'll take them with his fingers and press them against his lips and lick them with his tongue. he can bear anything of tatara's, no matter what it is. ]
I need you, forever. But don't forget that means you have me too. So whatever you need from me, you can have always.
Do you want anything right now?
[ if there's not, he doesn't mind voicing more of his thoughts but; as ineffable as he feels, what he really wants is for tatara to use all of him however he wants-or needs. ]
no subject
He beams, breathes a little laugh, and the tears spill past his eyes. It's overwhelming. Aguero's welcome to take what he can catch, because Tatara wipes away the rest.
Eventually he crumples onto Aguero fully, pressing his chest to his and burying his face into the crook of his neck. This feels so much better. It soothes him, and he feels at peace. ]
I want you. [ He says this quietly, breathed onto his skin. ] I want your touch and your love, your words and your laughter and all of your time.
[ It's hard to describe exactly how he feels, or what he wants or needs from Aguero, because his love for him genuinely feels like it cannot be contained in the small frame of his body.
But also. ]
And cotton candy ice cream.
[ That's what this feels like, he thinks, and maybe if he could eat it, it would sate him, somehow, ]
no subject
once he's caught his breath again he's grinning, still purple and bright. ]
I love you so much, you're perfect. [ in all the ways, but this ability to be earnest in everything might be what he loves the most. ]
Okay, I'll get you cotton candy ice cream. Someone has to deliver out here.
[ because he doesn't want to move just yet. ]
Are you going to share it with me?
no subject
Of course I am. I think it'll taste better if we share.
[ He shifts a hand to poke at Aguero's lips, an echo of a date they had so long ago. ]
Who's bringing us the ice cream?
no subject
Hmm... [ looks at my ridiculous rolls which means this time he's definitely awake enough to nip back at the poke. ]
The Western spirits. They obviously approve of us as much as it's people do~. [ he has no idea actually but he #believes and because i rolled a 19 this is indeed happening. with a murmur of his incantation he makes his request and then settles back to wait. ]
Though if anyone didn't approve of us, I'd have to show them otherwise.
[ while he really doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, he'll never stand for anyone thinking less of tatara. ]
no subject
Good. [ Good! If the spirits approve, then there's literally nothing he has to worry about anymore, at least with regards to their relationship. Validated, they have the spirits' blessing, Kurapika can't yell at him anymore. ]
I could just show them the ring. Right? [ He looks at it again, and beams. ] Or...could I just tell them how amazing you are?
[ He wants an excuse to talk about him to everyone!
—Speaking of, though. There's a quiet poof, and the ice cream in cones suddenly appear above them, floating in the air! Delivery!! ]
no subject
[ it's not that flashy but it's also clearly well made. he also just worries and it's easier to address the practical than the image of tatara gushing about him to a total stranger.
the ice cream is a good way to distract him though. he's surprised it came that fast? he puts a hand on tatara's back, holding him against himself as he sits up. boyfriend situps, heheh. ]
That came really fast~ I must be their favorite. [ tatara's free to rearrange himself however he likes now that they're both sitting up, aguero reaching to pull down the ice cones.
cotton candy ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with blue nonpareils for tatara
guava ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with red nonpareils for himself. ]
For you.
no subject
He laughs. ] You're my favorite, too.
[ He'll take the cone and he beams at it, in all its blue and and purple and pink glory.
He's not so distracted that he forgets what Aguero tells him, though. ]
I won't. [ He licks a bit. Mm, it's sweet. ] Your blood is powerful. But I don't think I want anyone else having it.
[ He's keeping him to himself if he can help it. ]
no subject
in less important matters, tatara gets to see how skillfully his boyfriend eats ice cream, which is to say he's one of those people who starts methodically by the cone so that he won't spill any on himself.
mmm, fruity. ]
It's strong in the Tower too, because my father is Khun Eduan of the Ten Families. And even among the rest of the families, there's only one other line who can match our power and speed.
That's why I never offered my blood to our resident vampires, nor will I ever offer my blood to anyone else here and back in the Tower, except for you.
[ okay he's not a bleeding heart anyway but his point still stands. ]
no subject
Huh. That would make sense. Your lineage is pretty impressive, but... Hmm, I'm pretty sure you're amazing not just because of your blood or your dad.
[ It's a part of him, but it's not all of him! He says this idly, his train of thought carrying him.
Also he totally remembered there are vampires in the manor. ]
I'll treasure it. And I'll never let it go.
[ He means this sincerely.
Tatara licks at the ice cream a little more messily than Aguero does, and some gets over his lip. For a split second, he's about to lick it off, but soon he decides otherwise. He leans in to press his cotton candy-flavored lips to Aguero's, so he can get a little taste of it. And maybe so he can have a hint of whatever it is he's having, too. ]
no subject
[ the cotton candy is much too sweet, but it's also not sweet enough compared to his boyfriend. tatara really is the exception to everything when it comes to aguero, and now that he knows he'll have him forever, it's likely to get even worse (somehow).
aguero keeps his eyes closed for a few moments after their lips touch because they're still eating ice cream and remembering that fact is important. doing so makes his mind wander to the practical of this engagement, and he blinks his eyes open (still lavender), almost with a guilty expression. he doesn't do guilt but this is the closest he gets to it. ]
You're my treasure, Tatara. There'll be others who want to steal you and worse, particularly my family because they're greedy like me. But I'll protect you no matter what.
There's a few people I trust too, that I'll have to introduce you to. It'll be dangerous but... I don't think you'll be bored.
no subject
Don't forget I want you, too. If I could pledge the entirety of the rest of my life to you I would. No one else could ever compare.
[ He hasn't met them yet and he knows. His loyalty to Mikoto was unwavering, and he doesn't see why that same attachment, obsession, tenacity can't be for Aguero, too. ]
I've run from the yakuza before. I'll run from your family.
[ He says this with a grin as he takes another lick, swipes the errant smudges of cream from his lips. He won't ever let his boyfriend forget that this is mutual.
He gives a little chuckle. ] I could never be bored with you.
[ ...
There's a sheepish little look in his eyes when he looks at him again. ]
Is it weird? ...I don't think I've ever looked forward to something like I'm looking forward to life with you.
no subject
when their eyes meet he blinks once, the corner of his lips tugging up slightly. ]
It's not. I don't think I looked forward to anything until we met, so we've done this to each other.
Tell me something specific you're looking forward to, and I'll tell you one of mine.
[ reconnaissance! ]
no subject
[ Tatara hums as he licks at his ice cream more, and he studies the purple and pink and wonders if those are the colors of his future. ]
I think being a part of your everyday. [ He draws his gaze away from the ice cream and back to Aguero's hues. ] I want to wake up one morning beside you and realize that this is the life we have together. I want to realize that I can't imagine anything besides the routine we have. I want to look at the walls and shelves and see it filled with our stories and memories.
[ He chuckles a bit, flush in his cheeks. It's so specific, but so broad, and probably mundane. Maybe not the weird excitement they've both come to fall into with one another, but there's nothing he treasures more than peace with his loved ones. ]
And you?
no subject
his smile warms, and he abandons his ice cream momentarily to give tatara a one armed hug, maybe a squeeze even with their current positioning. ]
The places I own are big, so we'll have a lot of memories to make. [ that's probably a good thing? he takes a big bite out of his ice cream, not all that coincidentally. ]
I'll give you two, since one of them is selfish.
I'm looking forward to not sharing you with anyone else ever again. You won't be a sage anymore in the Tower, you'll simply be mine.
...and I'm looking forward to having you besides me as I climb higher and higher. To have you in spaces where it was just me before, so that I can't remember what being alone ever felt like.
no subject
He'll lean into Aguero for something resembling a hug, because he's still busy licking his ice cream. ]
I like the sound of that. [ He says this softly, between licks. ] I guess I don't really mind being the sage, but...I can't wait for the day when I don't have to look at anybody but you.
[ Or stay by anyone else's side. Or help anyone else. ]
I can't wait until my life is just you.
no subject
he takes another big bite of out his ice cream to cool himself with a sigh. ]
I want to protect you, cherish you, spoil you, and wear you always.
[ even if he's doing that mostly here (though by how he looks at it, he's only fully "worn" tatara now by giving him that ring) being able to do it with all of him with his power and resources in the tower will be different. not to mention, now he knows it really will be forever. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)