( Honestly, it's a little easier for him to accept so many people tried to save him if he thinks about it as them mitigating risk for themselves - though he knows that's not why people claimed they did it, so the frustration still remains. )
... I was lucky, but it was also a terrible idea. Crowding a vampire when they're hurt and down a lot of blood and shoving your limbs in their mouth is stupid, right? I'm not crazy, am I? They could've been the ones dead instead of me.
( They should've thought about themselves, first??? What's the thing they say on airplanes, save yourself first before saving others??? (Mika's never been on an airplane so he wouldn't know this but,) )
Nah, I do think it was dumb. I doubt they were actually thinkin', though. They were just focused on tryin' to save you an' didn't stop to think 'bout what could happen.
[That's what makes the most sense to him?? Surely they all wouldn't be that self-sacrificial.]
( Ok... Vampire validation... Not that he needs validation from a vampire or anything :/
He exhales, needlessly. )
... Yeah, well. They're lucky it happened to work out the way it did. ( Emphasis on "happened." ) That... hat guy came by earlier and adjusted some charm he put on on me. Allegedly, it shouldn't happen again. But...
( Mika has a very fearful relationship with hope - does not trust it, and it's never come through for him, not even once. So even if he should be certain about having this safety net now, he just sounds tentative. )
Laz? Yeah, he seems pretty damn competent, but I don't blame ya for bein' worried 'bout it.
[It's not easy to put your trust in others like that, no matter how high the stakes are. Malice also doesn't know Wanderer very well, so this may also be coloring his opinion.]
[Yeah. He definitely gets it. That gets a sigh from Malice as he considers, though. He used to bother Cody whenever he got lost in his thoughts like this, and if he couldn't get Cody's attention, he'd (not-so-gently) bully some of the rebels until that got Cody to show up to tell him to stop being a menace.
But those days are far behind him, and it's kind of weird to think that he hasn't actually had a coping mechanism since then. Huh. Anyway!]
You want the truth? Dunno. Here I've been turnin' to my trainin' whenever I get frustrated - I work it outta my system in a way that feels like progress to me, y'know? An' it has the benefit of tirin' me out so I can actually get some sleep as well.
( For better or worse? When he sleeps he has nightmares; when he closes his eyes during his waking hours, even, those nightmares follow him into the waking world, too - and when he's left along with his thoughts...
In retrospect, it's hard to be sure if staying awake all the time, even if his body doesn't need sleep, is for the best. Thus far, he hasn't slept since his arrival. But is sleeping much better?
... Well, maybe he is onto something, at least - maybe getting himself too tired to think while feeling like he's improving some is an idea. )
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... I was lucky, but it was also a terrible idea. Crowding a vampire when they're hurt and down a lot of blood and shoving your limbs in their mouth is stupid, right? I'm not crazy, am I? They could've been the ones dead instead of me.
( They should've thought about themselves, first??? What's the thing they say on airplanes, save yourself first before saving others??? (Mika's never been on an airplane so he wouldn't know this but,) )
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[That's what makes the most sense to him?? Surely they all wouldn't be that self-sacrificial.]
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He exhales, needlessly. )
... Yeah, well. They're lucky it happened to work out the way it did. ( Emphasis on "happened." ) That... hat guy came by earlier and adjusted some charm he put on on me. Allegedly, it shouldn't happen again. But...
( Mika has a very fearful relationship with hope - does not trust it, and it's never come through for him, not even once. So even if he should be certain about having this safety net now, he just sounds tentative. )
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[It's not easy to put your trust in others like that, no matter how high the stakes are. Malice also doesn't know Wanderer very well, so this may also be coloring his opinion.]
Anythin' I can do to help?
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But no, because it's Malice who's asking he'll at least think it over. )
... I don't know. ( But at least it's an honest answer, instead of a flippant one. ) What do you do when it's all too much?
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But those days are far behind him, and it's kind of weird to think that he hasn't actually had a coping mechanism since then. Huh. Anyway!]
You want the truth? Dunno. Here I've been turnin' to my trainin' whenever I get frustrated - I work it outta my system in a way that feels like progress to me, y'know? An' it has the benefit of tirin' me out so I can actually get some sleep as well.
no subject
( For better or worse? When he sleeps he has nightmares; when he closes his eyes during his waking hours, even, those nightmares follow him into the waking world, too - and when he's left along with his thoughts...
In retrospect, it's hard to be sure if staying awake all the time, even if his body doesn't need sleep, is for the best. Thus far, he hasn't slept since his arrival. But is sleeping much better?
... Well, maybe he is onto something, at least - maybe getting himself too tired to think while feeling like he's improving some is an idea. )
... Spar with me.
( At the very least, it's worth a shot. )
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Sure thing. C'mon, let's go find somewhere that we won't draw attention.
[There's no point in getting anyone else involved, and we don't want people to think this is another incident!!]