[The change is subtle. Not in tone or expression, but in the way his heart constricts, the way his pulse quickens in response in an uneven timber. Something, some part of this, deeply upsets him.
But his composure does not shift.]
But to care for someone is to let them make choices on their own, and be brave enough to tell them if you think those choices are wrong.
Trapping them in choices of your own making is no different than binding them to a contract against their will. There is a time and place for both.
( The shift surprises him; he hadn't thought this would even matter to Solomon - not to someone so insistent in trusting that the world is beyond control, and that others should choose as they please, no matter how foolish.
He suspects there's a cause greater than the surface of what's being said - but what it is, if he's even parsing his reaction right, he isn't certain what it could be.
... )
... And if they insist on making those choices anyway? Then what? You just watch them hurt themselves, and you throw up your hands and say, "Oh, well"? I can't accept that. You have to be able to do something.
You accept what has happened. You meet them wherever they are, if you're still willing. And if they feel they have made a mistake, you do what you can to support them.
[You hope that this mistake isn't the last one, and that you can somehow help them make it through to another one. You shift the scenario in your head every night, picking it apart and yourself along with it, even though it solves nothing.
...]
Just speak with him, Mika. Hear his thoughts for yourself. Not from me.
( Mika doesn't seem happy - he doesn't seem happy at all. But... it's true that being irate with Solomon won't solve anything - he can either speak to Ginger, or kill Solomon here.
... )
... Is that what you did? Talk to whoever it is you're thinking about?
( This is just a blind guess. But he'll make it. )
And what does telling yourself to be okay with it do for you?
( He has no horse in the Solomon coping mechanism race, so his words aren't didactic, exactly. He just calls it like he sees it. )
... Sometimes you can't make it stop hurting, no matter what you do.
( So. chew on that, he guesses. He wouldn't be able to pretend to be rational in Solomon's shoes, between this and what Solomon mentioned at the ball. )
[Sometimes there really is nothing to take the hurt away completely. Sometimes it is an aching wound that time can't heal.]
I don't do it to escape the hurt. I do it to stop feeding the wolf that is my fear. Because it is what I would want them to do, without question, if our places were reversed.
( Mika doesn't seem like he agrees with the selfless assessment, either. He doesn't think he'd call it selflessness... maybe married to his image? Wanting to fulfill a certain role? The way Solomon does it is difficult for Mika to parse.
The remark gives him pause. )
... Don't give yourself too much credit. ( Rude, Mika. ) ... I feel twice as exhausted now.
It's only natural. Emotions are exhausting things.
[With a rustling of fabric and a creaking of the couch underneath, Solomon lifts himself back to his feet, gently tugging the sleeves of his shirt further against his wrists. No need to show all of that on accident, even if he thinks Mika would no longer find it a surprise.]
I'll leave you to rest.
Just don't stay in this tomb of yours forever, my king. Okay?
( He watches himself get up - recompose, and return to how he was, as if that blip were a mirage, something to discount.
But he hears the echo of the pulse, even if things may begin to return to normal. The slight construction, not yet fully eased up. )
... I'll see if it's not too comfortable in here. Vampires do love coffins.
( Wrly, but not total rejection. He'll remain where he is - and, when Solomon leaves, curl up under the covers again, his ruminations different than before. )
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no subject
I'm aware.
[The change is subtle. Not in tone or expression, but in the way his heart constricts, the way his pulse quickens in response in an uneven timber. Something, some part of this, deeply upsets him.
But his composure does not shift.]
But to care for someone is to let them make choices on their own, and be brave enough to tell them if you think those choices are wrong.
Trapping them in choices of your own making is no different than binding them to a contract against their will. There is a time and place for both.
no subject
He suspects there's a cause greater than the surface of what's being said - but what it is, if he's even parsing his reaction right, he isn't certain what it could be.
... )
... And if they insist on making those choices anyway? Then what? You just watch them hurt themselves, and you throw up your hands and say, "Oh, well"? I can't accept that. You have to be able to do something.
no subject
You accept what has happened. You meet them wherever they are, if you're still willing. And if they feel they have made a mistake, you do what you can to support them.
[You hope that this mistake isn't the last one, and that you can somehow help them make it through to another one. You shift the scenario in your head every night, picking it apart and yourself along with it, even though it solves nothing.
...]
Just speak with him, Mika. Hear his thoughts for yourself. Not from me.
no subject
... )
... Is that what you did? Talk to whoever it is you're thinking about?
( This is just a blind guess. But he'll make it. )
no subject
...
He lets out an exhale, his smile worn and tired.]
I did while I could, yes.
no subject
... Are they gone?
no subject
I don't know.
But I have to be okay with not knowing for now. There is only so much I can do.
no subject
( He has no horse in the Solomon coping mechanism race, so his words aren't didactic, exactly. He just calls it like he sees it. )
... Sometimes you can't make it stop hurting, no matter what you do.
( So. chew on that, he guesses. He wouldn't be able to pretend to be rational in Solomon's shoes, between this and what Solomon mentioned at the ball. )
no subject
You're not wrong.
[Sometimes there really is nothing to take the hurt away completely. Sometimes it is an aching wound that time can't heal.]
I don't do it to escape the hurt. I do it to stop feeding the wolf that is my fear. Because it is what I would want them to do, without question, if our places were reversed.
no subject
no subject
[Because he isn't. He knows he isn't.
But it's not a topic for now, or for Mika, who already has so little faith in him.]
...You're a little calmer now than you were before. I'm glad.
no subject
The remark gives him pause. )
... Don't give yourself too much credit. ( Rude, Mika. ) ... I feel twice as exhausted now.
no subject
[With a rustling of fabric and a creaking of the couch underneath, Solomon lifts himself back to his feet, gently tugging the sleeves of his shirt further against his wrists. No need to show all of that on accident, even if he thinks Mika would no longer find it a surprise.]
I'll leave you to rest.
Just don't stay in this tomb of yours forever, my king. Okay?
no subject
But he hears the echo of the pulse, even if things may begin to return to normal. The slight construction, not yet fully eased up. )
... I'll see if it's not too comfortable in here. Vampires do love coffins.
( Wrly, but not total rejection. He'll remain where he is - and, when Solomon leaves, curl up under the covers again, his ruminations different than before. )