[It's faster than he can react, of course - and once again Mika's hand is at his neck, even though this time he's braced against the wall instead of the air. His heart pounds in his ears as his own hands find Mika's.]
...Haaah... Again so soon?
[He fights to keep the strain, the fear from his voice, even if there's no doubt Mika can hear it all anyway, down to the very sounds of his organs sent into a panic.]
( His fingers curl in, thumb pressing down hard on the run of the jugular below Ahito's jaw.
He doesn't want to do this, and he doesn't like doing this; but he is, he is, and like a train on the tracks he isn't full sure how to derail. He wants to make a point, at least - if Ahito will even listen. )
The second you start to think that I care is the second you start to lower your guard. You came too close when healing me - you come into my room alone all the time. I could have broken your neck now - faster than anyone could have helped you.
( And he knows Ahito knows it's true, the keening of his body louder in his ears than Ahito's attempts to keep cool. )
I thought you had someone to go home to. Don't be so stupid with who you trust.
[That sardonic grin remains on his face even now, even with his blood rushing, warning him of impending doom. He ignores it - it's not like he can do anything about it.]
...You'd kill me either way. [He's weak. That's just the way it is, no matter the circumstances.] Or- is it betrayal you're so scared of?
[Feeling like there was trust to break in the first place...?]
Anyway. Don't flatter yourself so much. I don't trust a single person here.
( That... might be approximately what he was looking for, he guesses - a way to convince Ahito to put up his guard, or to bait him out of his comfort. But even though this is about what he wanted, it doesn't sit right in his stomach, and he can't name why.
...
He drops his grip on Ahito brusquely. )
... I'd have only myself to blame, if you betrayed me.
( Which is not posturing, for once. He blames himself for the bad things that happen to him. )
Why act so friendly if you don't care about anyone?
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no subject
...Haaah... Again so soon?
[He fights to keep the strain, the fear from his voice, even if there's no doubt Mika can hear it all anyway, down to the very sounds of his organs sent into a panic.]
D'you hate... the idea of- getting along so much?
no subject
( His fingers curl in, thumb pressing down hard on the run of the jugular below Ahito's jaw.
He doesn't want to do this, and he doesn't like doing this; but he is, he is, and like a train on the tracks he isn't full sure how to derail. He wants to make a point, at least - if Ahito will even listen. )
The second you start to think that I care is the second you start to lower your guard. You came too close when healing me - you come into my room alone all the time. I could have broken your neck now - faster than anyone could have helped you.
( And he knows Ahito knows it's true, the keening of his body louder in his ears than Ahito's attempts to keep cool. )
I thought you had someone to go home to. Don't be so stupid with who you trust.
no subject
[That sardonic grin remains on his face even now, even with his blood rushing, warning him of impending doom. He ignores it - it's not like he can do anything about it.]
...You'd kill me either way. [He's weak. That's just the way it is, no matter the circumstances.] Or- is it betrayal you're so scared of?
[Feeling like there was trust to break in the first place...?]
Anyway. Don't flatter yourself so much. I don't trust a single person here.
no subject
...
He drops his grip on Ahito brusquely. )
... I'd have only myself to blame, if you betrayed me.
( Which is not posturing, for once. He blames himself for the bad things that happen to him. )
Why act so friendly if you don't care about anyone?
no subject
-Two different things.
[Is the short version. Another cough followed by a soft sigh of physical relief.]
...Just because I take an interest in people doesn't mean I think they're safe.
no subject
... I'm neither of those things.
( Interesting nor safe. )
So you should leave.
no subject
Should I consider my open invite revoked?
[As he moves to head out the door.]
no subject
( He's not some freak show to gawk at on demand. )
no subject
What do you mean, "all that I came for?"
no subject
Do we communicate? Coinflip says no. )
... Nothing. Just leave.
no subject
Alright, alright. Guess I'll see you around, then.
[Off he goes!]