[Kind of ridiculous how easily Kurapika disarmed his ass with a raspberry scone, but you win some, you lose some. Akira doesn't exactly enjoy feeling sorry for himself anyway.
He hums around a mouthful of scone.]
I owe everyone an apology, but I don't even know where to begin making amends. Think scones would do the trick?
[Not everyone is going to forgive him as easily as Kurapika.]
Then there's the matter of forgiving myself. I was careless during the mission. If I hadn't been, maybe I wouldn't have gotten possessed to begin with?
[But hearing is one thing. Taking those words to heart is another.]
I can't accept "maybe it'll happen again, maybe it won't" for an answer. I want to take every measure I can to avoid going down the same path twice. I don't want to become a murderer.
[ He scoots closer, muffin still sitting firmly in both of his hands. ]
Someone like you should never kill.
[ Akira is too good for that, too kind. ]
You can't change what has happened, but you're right about taking measures to avoid the same thing happening to you again. Let's use our ability to harness all types of magic and create protective charms so that you'll at least have a small layer of protection.
[Too weak to end another life... or is it kindness? Akira can't tell.]
Guess that's all we can do now, but aren't you being a little too generous? You don't need to bend over backwards to help me out, Kurapika. You have your own problems to deal with.
[ What Akira doesn't get is that he does have to say it. He's too kind to snuff out another life, and the guilt he's already saddled himself with makes that pretty clear.
But Kurapika drops it for now, certain that it'll come up again anyway. ]
I'll do what I want, Akira.
[ And if that's going the extra mile to help him out, then so be it. ]
[ Akira must have some weird, twisted view of him if he really thinks Kurapika would go out of his way to help everyone he meets, much less everyone here. ]
If I'm impeding you so badly, then I can back off. I just thought you might want the help.
[No, no, it's nothing quite like that. He just... doesn't deserve the kindness, but saying as much is going to irritate Kurapika more. Akira doesn't need another lecture.]
I appreciate it, but don't pay me any special attention. I don't want to put you out.
[Kurapika, you've really got to stop tearing at his heart like this. He doesn't need to get him wrapped up in his drama. That's just more trouble for him.]
I get what you're saying, but I've caused you enough problems, haven't I? And you've got your mission to worry about. I'll only hold you back.
[Akira looks to his left. Akira looks to his right. He doesn't see anyone in this room with a prolonged interest in nosing into Kurapika's problems, past incidents aside.]
Don't worry, Kurapika. I'm not planning on it happening again. You made it perfectly clear where you stand on that.
[Neither of them need the other to shoulder their burdens. That's the end of it.]
[ This sudden shift, it's strange. To say it doesn't hurt would be a lie, and it's hard to conceal the hurt on his face as it briefly flashes across his eyes and he breathes in sharply.
"Then why did you kiss me? Touch me?"
The words die on his tongue as he decides that hearing the answer would hurt too much. This is what it's like, isn't it, to realize how you feel at the wrong moment?
Setting the half-eaten muffin on the bed, Kurapika stands up and dusts off his clothes. ]
You need time to rest on your own.
[ He isn't addressing any of what Akira actually said, choosing to deflect instead, all because it's a lot easier than the alternative. ]
[There. That's more like Kurapika. Still, Akira's a bit surprised by the sudden shift in demeanor, but he has no intention of stopping Kurapika from doing what he wants. There are better uses of his time than sitting around here babysitting a guy who is totally fine anyway.
Akira rubs at the back of his neck, answering with some delay.]
Right. Well, thanks for the scone.
[And for worrying about me. That part remains unsaid.]
[ He pauses, eyes settling on the little bag filled with pastries. ]
There's still more bread in there. I'm not sure what you like, so I picked what I like instead.
[ Bread adorned and baked with various berries, cheese danishes, and muffins mostly.
Kurapika feels like he has no reason to linger anymore, however, so he picks up the books he set on the chair (he had been waiting for a while, after all) and makes for the door. ]
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He hums around a mouthful of scone.]
I owe everyone an apology, but I don't even know where to begin making amends. Think scones would do the trick?
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You don't need to apologize to me. You're already forgiven.
[ It really is that simple. ]
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[Not everyone is going to forgive him as easily as Kurapika.]
Then there's the matter of forgiving myself. I was careless during the mission. If I hadn't been, maybe I wouldn't have gotten possessed to begin with?
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[ They know how to resolve this if it happens again. That's what matters the most. ]
If you had actually listened to me earlier, you would know that's what I was trying to say.
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[But hearing is one thing. Taking those words to heart is another.]
I can't accept "maybe it'll happen again, maybe it won't" for an answer. I want to take every measure I can to avoid going down the same path twice. I don't want to become a murderer.
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Someone like you should never kill.
[ Akira is too good for that, too kind. ]
You can't change what has happened, but you're right about taking measures to avoid the same thing happening to you again. Let's use our ability to harness all types of magic and create protective charms so that you'll at least have a small layer of protection.
[ "Let's" because he plans on helping. ]
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[Too weak to end another life... or is it kindness? Akira can't tell.]
Guess that's all we can do now, but aren't you being a little too generous? You don't need to bend over backwards to help me out, Kurapika. You have your own problems to deal with.
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But Kurapika drops it for now, certain that it'll come up again anyway. ]
I'll do what I want, Akira.
[ And if that's going the extra mile to help him out, then so be it. ]
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[Because Kurapika would, wouldn't he? He's a good guy and Akira's gone past the point of deluding himself into thinking he's anything special to him.]
And you'll insist even if I'm not comfortable with you impeding in my life?
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[ Akira must have some weird, twisted view of him if he really thinks Kurapika would go out of his way to help everyone he meets, much less everyone here. ]
If I'm impeding you so badly, then I can back off. I just thought you might want the help.
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I appreciate it, but don't pay me any special attention. I don't want to put you out.
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[ He only does it for the people he likes, which is a relatively short list of people. ]
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...Yeah, right. He's not going to ask the guy who all but flat out rejected him a question like that. Moving on.]
Well, you've confirmed that I'm alive and well and still capable of chowing down on bread. I'd say your work here is done.
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[ To him, that doesn't mean his work is done, and so he refuses to budge from where he's sitting on Akira's bed. ]
This isn't something you can bear alone, Akira.
[ Kurapika would know, after all. Those with kind hearts refuse to swallow down and push away the guilt that comes with incidents like these. ]
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[Kurapika, you've really got to stop tearing at his heart like this. He doesn't need to get him wrapped up in his drama. That's just more trouble for him.]
I get what you're saying, but I've caused you enough problems, haven't I? And you've got your mission to worry about. I'll only hold you back.
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[ Just saying. There are no Scarlet Eyes for him to find in this world. ]
I get to decide how many problems someone else has caused for me. That's not your decision to make.
[ So don't make it for him. ]
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[Why is this the hill you want to die on, Kurapika?]
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It's hypocritical of you to butt into my problems first, only to turn around and not let me do the same.
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[Akira looks to his left. Akira looks to his right. He doesn't see anyone in this room with a prolonged interest in nosing into Kurapika's problems, past incidents aside.]
Don't worry, Kurapika. I'm not planning on it happening again. You made it perfectly clear where you stand on that.
[Neither of them need the other to shoulder their burdens. That's the end of it.]
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"Then why did you kiss me? Touch me?"
The words die on his tongue as he decides that hearing the answer would hurt too much. This is what it's like, isn't it, to realize how you feel at the wrong moment?
Setting the half-eaten muffin on the bed, Kurapika stands up and dusts off his clothes. ]
You need time to rest on your own.
[ He isn't addressing any of what Akira actually said, choosing to deflect instead, all because it's a lot easier than the alternative. ]
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Akira rubs at the back of his neck, answering with some delay.]
Right. Well, thanks for the scone.
[And for worrying about me. That part remains unsaid.]
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There's still more bread in there. I'm not sure what you like, so I picked what I like instead.
[ Bread adorned and baked with various berries, cheese danishes, and muffins mostly.
Kurapika feels like he has no reason to linger anymore, however, so he picks up the books he set on the chair (he had been waiting for a while, after all) and makes for the door. ]
I'll see you later.
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[Akira makes no attempt to stop him. This is for the best.]