Of course I am. Most people shouldn't be doing that sort of thing anyway. Most people aren't cut out for engaging with life and death situations on the regular, right? That's why they need heroes.
[ Those thoughts feel painfully familiar to him—that's exactly how he felt about Hunters, back before he became one and got caught up in attaining his goals. ]
And you're really okay with taking something like that on?
[ He can feel Akira's gaze, though he can't see it... not quite. As the red fades from his eyes, so does his lack of vision—now, he can see vague shapes and outlines. ]
So you understand how I feel, then. At least partially.
[ Now that he has a better sense of his surroundings and the pain has subsided, he unfurls himself from the blankets, creating a crumpled mess of them in the process. ]
But so am I. After all, I don't think you should bear a burden so heavy. You deserve a peaceful life, not one with the weight of other people's very sense of selves on your shoulders.
[Akira rises from his seat and steps over to the side of the bed. Kurapika still can't see, can he? He'll need help getting back to his room (that better be where he's going).]
And I believe you deserve the same.
[At least they want this for each other even if they're solidly convinced their paths can never be so rosy and peaceful.]
[ He isn't worth worrying about to this extent. The fact that so many people have helped him, and now Akira is too, has thrown him for such a loop that he isn't sure what to do or how to feel.
It's a small moment of weakness, but he stops in their trek towards the door to just... rest his forehead on Akira's shoulder.
[ He sighs. Will he really? Kurapika isn't so sure about that, but he does know that he won't mind spending more time with Akira.
That that says or what it means is something he doesn't want to think about right now, so he instead focuses on the way Akira pulls him closer, warmth emanating from his hand. ]
...Thank you.
[ For helping him? For caring? For making out with him?
It's hard to say, but he wants to express that much, at least. ]
[He doesn't mind helping Kurapika... or caring about him, or even making out with him. So long as the latter never elicits such a strong reaction in him again, Akira will gladly indulge.
Slowly, carefully, Akira moves them along to the door and out of the room. It's with similar care that he helps Kurapika up the stairs and down the hallway to his room, helping him unlock the door if need be.]
[ He hates needing to be helped like this. It's a protest against everything he is and all of the independence he's been so careful to construct for himself.
But it's not so terrible with Akira helping him. He doesn't remind Kurapika of the fact that he needs it—he simply does it.
By now, he can at least see where his doorknob is, but it takes a few tries before he can get the key into the lock, so Akira might need to guide his hand before he can finally open the door. ]
I'll try.
[ Kurapika pauses as if he's contemplating saying or doing something more, but he ultimately gives Akira a small smile before heading into his room. ]
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[ That you really are a good person. ]
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[Those who can, should.]
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And you're really okay with taking something like that on?
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[Besides... He meets Kurapika's gaze.]
It gives meaning to my life. A purpose. I wouldn't give up what I do for anything.
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So you understand how I feel, then. At least partially.
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[He hadn't wanted to admit it. Hadn't wanted to see their similarities as starkly as Kurapika lays them out before him.]
Guess that makes me a hypocrite, huh? Oh well. That's not going to change the way I feel.
[Not about his own path, and certainly not about Kurapika's. Revenge, he'll insist, will always lead to death.]
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[ Now that he has a better sense of his surroundings and the pain has subsided, he unfurls himself from the blankets, creating a crumpled mess of them in the process. ]
But so am I. After all, I don't think you should bear a burden so heavy. You deserve a peaceful life, not one with the weight of other people's very sense of selves on your shoulders.
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And I believe you deserve the same.
[At least they want this for each other even if they're solidly convinced their paths can never be so rosy and peaceful.]
Here, Kurapika. I'll take you back to your room.
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You don't have to do that.
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It's not about having to do anything. I want to.
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[ He isn't worth worrying about to this extent. The fact that so many people have helped him, and now Akira is too, has thrown him for such a loop that he isn't sure what to do or how to feel.
It's a small moment of weakness, but he stops in their trek towards the door to just... rest his forehead on Akira's shoulder.
Give him a minute. ]
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Spend enough time with me and you'll get it sooner or later.
[Maybe he's just being kind. Maybe Kurapika's special. That's not an answer for Akira to give.]
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That that says or what it means is something he doesn't want to think about right now, so he instead focuses on the way Akira pulls him closer, warmth emanating from his hand. ]
...Thank you.
[ For helping him? For caring? For making out with him?
It's hard to say, but he wants to express that much, at least. ]
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[He doesn't mind helping Kurapika... or caring about him, or even making out with him. So long as the latter never elicits such a strong reaction in him again, Akira will gladly indulge.
Slowly, carefully, Akira moves them along to the door and out of the room. It's with similar care that he helps Kurapika up the stairs and down the hallway to his room, helping him unlock the door if need be.]
Take it easy, okay?
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But it's not so terrible with Akira helping him. He doesn't remind Kurapika of the fact that he needs it—he simply does it.
By now, he can at least see where his doorknob is, but it takes a few tries before he can get the key into the lock, so Akira might need to guide his hand before he can finally open the door. ]
I'll try.
[ Kurapika pauses as if he's contemplating saying or doing something more, but he ultimately gives Akira a small smile before heading into his room. ]
...Take care.
[ With that, he shuts the door. ]