[Thank you for trying...? Akira manages with great effort to wobble up onto his knees. He's just in time to see that banana start flashing bright red like a cartoon bomb about to go off.]
I think I'm seeing things.
[He hopes he's seeing things. Alas, I rolled a (1), so the banana peel explodes. Roll to save Yamato's ass I guess.]
[ The cycle of death...stops here! Yamato is spared from the exploding banana (15) because he rolls out just in time. He stares at it for a while, trying to take in what just happened, before he lets out an exasperated sigh. ]
[Oh, thank fuck. Any other banana peels want to come for their lives? Akira's just gonna. Sit here, catch his breath, and wonder what he did to piss the universe off so badly that two attempts were made on his life in one evening.]
I think we're cursed. Definitely cursed. That, or you were trying to shatter my ankles on purpose.
But I've been thinking about offering him some lessons myself. How about you control the left hand and I take the right? That way there's no possible way he can ruin the dish.
It's settled. It might take some wrangling to get that man where we need him, but I'll contact you when it's time to put the plan into motion. Stay strong, Yamato.
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I think I'm seeing things.
[He hopes he's seeing things. Alas, I rolled a (1), so the banana peel explodes. Roll to save Yamato's ass I guess.]
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What the hell was that about?
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I think we're cursed. Definitely cursed. That, or you were trying to shatter my ankles on purpose.
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[ Come on, boss! He's your assistant, remember. ]
We're cursed. Do you think someone put a curse on us on purpose?
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What if it was Solomon? I bet his cooking cursed me with a thousand years of bad luck. Touching me made it rub off on you too!
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[ Since, apparently, that's a thing they can do now!! ]
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[Akira licks a finger and holds it up like he's checking the direction of the wind. There is no wind in his room.]
It feels like moth balls and lies.
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[ Or is Akira just salty about the food. He hasn't spoken to Solomon outside of the crime scene, so??? ]
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Nah. He's a pretty cool guy, but if you want to keep your stomach in one piece, don't eat his cooking. Seriously, not even a bite.
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[ And that someone might be him, but also. Is Solomon willing to learn... ]
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[ no one can save them now ]
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[Firm no!!]
But I've been thinking about offering him some lessons myself. How about you control the left hand and I take the right? That way there's no possible way he can ruin the dish.
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[ He's not expecting this to be a serious thing but haha it probably will be, huh. ]
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[No backing out of this one, Yamato. It's gonna get hairy.]
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There.
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...And dabs instead. Gottem.]
It's settled. It might take some wrangling to get that man where we need him, but I'll contact you when it's time to put the plan into motion. Stay strong, Yamato.
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Why do you keep doing that?
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[DABS]
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[ What language are you speaking, little one. ]
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[So unhelpful... Fine. He'll explain the concept of doing shit just 'cause to poor old grandpa here.]
It's funny, that's why. Catches people off guard too. I bet you didn't notice me sliding your wallet out of your pocket just now, did you?
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[ He is suddenly going to start checking from his wallet. Did this little punk seriously steal it... ]
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[Nope! Yamato's wallet is untouched. Akira snickers.]
But you see what I mean now, right? It totally distracted you.
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[ Akira is going to give him a headache at this rate. ]
Haha, so you like to do that particular move to distract people. I understand now.
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[Staring deeeeeep into Yamato's eyes...]
The only thing you can expect is the unexpected. If you're easily distracted, you'll get bamboozled every time.