[ luckily there is a headboard so tatara can be relatively comfy while he listens to all of That. ]
It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, it wouldn't be the real thing. And I don't mind, I enjoy it—I want to become family head and that's a large part of it. [ it's not a rebuke or a dismissal but clarification; the weight of leading others has never felt particularly heavy to him. the weight of needing to be perfect in doing so however, is a different story.
"pretty intense", huh. he sighs at that, but it's amused. some of the curve returns to his voice in spite of everything else he's feeling (and not feeling), even if his cadence still isn't close to what it usually is. ]
...that's one way to put it. And no, there's no reason to—seeing me would probably make him think that I wanted to finish what I started.
[ not that khun would judge him for that tbh, he thinks it's pretty reasonable. ]
[ Ooh. A shadow of a...look crosses Tatara's face at the clarification. It's like he takes in Khun in a slightly different light, and he's processing what he sees. Someone who has all the qualities of a leader, like someone he knows, but actually strives to be one, unlike someone he knows.
...Hm. ]
Mm. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'd want to see you at each other's throats again.
[ More like, he doesn't really want something to happen to Khun, if Mika retaliates. ]
But, thank you. [ He squeezes, and his smile widens. ] Thanks for telling me about you and your world. I feel like I understand you a little bit better.
[ He won't be able to remember everything, but he makes a mental note to write down what he does into his book, once he gets back to his room. ]
I think I should be the one saying that. [ thanks he means, though he doesn't say it explicitly. instead, he squeezes his hand back and finally allows himself a ghost of a smile, his voice warming more. ]
Tell me more about yourself sometime, I want to hear it. [ it doesn't need to be now, but he wanted to make his desire clear. ]
[ Tatara isn't sure what he did to warrant any thanks, so he just tilts his head when Khun squeezes his hand.
He laughs lightly at that, though, tickled by the idea. ]
Sure, if you want to know. I don't have friends that are talking alligators, though. Or have to take a lot of big, important tests.
More importantly—
[ He leans forward slightly, peering into the cool blue of his eyes. ]
Thank you for listening to me. I...don't think I want you to get hurt.
[ That applies to all his wizards, right? He tries to think about what it might have been like if Khun were the one injured, not Mika. What would've he done?
...Well, that didn't happen, so his mind doesn't go there. But so his eyes remain, wide and pleading. ]
[ as novel as his world is to everyone else, it's functionally the same in reverse. with most people though khun hasn't pried too hard, but tatara isn't everyone. he doesn't get to say anything beyond tip his head in affirmation, because even if he's still coming into feeling again, the color coral is still distracting up close. ]
My blood makes me pretty durable. [ he says that, but he knows that's not the point. and he hasn't forgotten that tatara said he was concerned about him before either, it's just worse now with that expression. khun doesn't really do guilt, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the urge to make things better. with a breath in to brace his core (his ribs are still tender so he probably shouldn't be doing this, but that's never stopped him before), he leans forward, freeing his hand to half-flop, half-hug tatara. and the bed probably, if they fall back onto it.
he lets out the breath and the words he was holding in his chest once they settle. ]
It would be hard not to listen to you. [ it's not something he would normally say, but he really is still sore all over. ]
[ Durable or no, he's not indestructible. There's a little moment where Tatara's eyes quickly flit over Khun's body, as though reminded he could very well still be injured. But he doesn't get very long of a chance to do that—
Because see, these pillows were dangerous. Tatara has sunk and slid into them, just a touch, at this point, just enough that when Khun flings himself onto him, it's more than enough to knock him off balance. But like, in slow motion. Tatara sinks into the pillows, back onto the blankets, but now with his legs to the side and Khun on top of him.
He gives a light laugh, and he feels the happiness thrum in his chest and dance on his cheeks, and he gently wraps his own arms around Khun's middle. ]
Khun... [ He says this in a half-whine, half-exclamation, nothing particularly heartfelt or serious, his laugh the undercurrent in the way he says his name. ]
Are you sure about that? Not gonna get second thoughts if I decide to drag you halfway across the country to try a rare and unique art of fruit cutting with me?
[ Totally made-up example, but he knows a handful of his closest cohort at Homra would absolutely complain if he did that to them. ]
[ complain? if he had more information he'd already be making an itinerary. they won't always agree and there are some things khun's immovable on, no matter who's asking. but the rest of the time? he likes spoiling those he cares about and he knows it and isn't ashamed of it.
he lets himself fall into the hug, tatara, and the bed completely; he's more solid than you might guess just by looking at him, toned and muscular even with his torso wrapped under his t-shirt to support his ribs. which might be stinging a little right now, but khun doesn't pay it much mind. ]
That's a very specific example. We're not going today, but tomorrow should work.
[ The exclamation comes from surprise, comes with another burst of laughter. It's hard when Khun, sturdier than he is, is weighing him down, but he finds it hard to mind.
The more surprising thing, though, is that Khun is willing. Planning ahead of him, even. Is this what it's like to be on the same page as someone? For a second, it catches him by surprise again, but...he doesn't hate it. ]
When we haven't even gone on the first date yet?! [ Labelling it as a date as opposed to, you know, just a regular outing where he so happens to drag another person along. ]
Hmm, you're right. In that case you'll have to be patient. [ said very matter of factly and seriously, which does take effort on his part due to the laughter he can hear and feel (it reflects in his eyes, which are bright despite the rest of his played on demeanor. )]
Or we can call it our preludial date. Your choice.
[ He tries to turn his head to get a better look at Khun, but his head is right there, and his nose just ends up colliding with ?? a part of his head. He'd tell himself he's just given up on his quest to look at him, but a small part of him is a little embarrassed (because it forces him to think about their kiss again), so he rights his head again. ]
Mm... I think I'll be patient.
[ His tone cools, like the placid waters of Khun's eyes and hair and everything else, and a hand shifts to rest higher on his back. ]
You were just in a fight, remember? You didn't even tell me if you were hurt. ...But I guess I should've asked.
[ There's worry in woven in to his words, but faint. ]
That's why I said tomorrow and not today. [ he's a terrible patient and does not do sitting still unless he's literally unable to move. here though he shifts just slightly, so he can look up at tatara, even if he's on an angle.
oh. he's caught just a bit off guard by a reverberation, though this one he did to himself. it makes his words have a soft edge to them, just a bit feathery. ]
I was, but I'll be fine. I think if anymore people came to offer me healing, it would have been an actual parade. All I was missing was sleep, but—
[ he can't really gesture with his arms like this and he doesn't care enough to move, so he just tilts his head instead. (actually he should definitely eat at some point, but he's never been particularly good at sticking to mealtimes when it's just him.) ]
[ And Tatara tilts his head to look at Khun in turn. There's a curious, almost innocent look in his eye, but perhaps Khun will come in time to learn that this is an expectant one. The closest thing Tatara Totsuka can get to a scolding look. ]
You're okay now?
[ It's hard not to smile, though. So one tugs at the corner of his mouth as he looks at him in the pause. ]
What about food?
[ Tatara is mentally checking off the list: first aid, water, rest, food. He's seen his fair share of...every wound, thanks to his life in the gang. So no matter what time of day it happens to be now, he's going to ask.
[ he might learn or he might just continue to lose himself in those open expressions. probably both. ]
Mmhmm. [ right, his words. ] Well there's that. [ he shrugs as much as he can like this, and yawns a little. honestly he wants more sleep than food, but both things are conspiring against him at this point. ]
[ deflates very dramatically, defeated. he's mostly playing, though he's still pretty short of a full night's sleep, not to mention everything else. ]
They really need to invent energy drinks here. [ he's had coffee (the cup somewhere over on his desk) since malice is a real one, but there's nothing like caffeine + taurine + a whole bunch of electrolytes to really keep you going. ]
[ There's a quiet chuckle in Khun's ear when he deflates, and Tatara starts to squirm under him. ]
Then what about another nap? I could tuck you in and everything.
[ He's going to try and roll Khun over, so they're side by side again.
His intent is to leave him to sleep on his own, so Tatara can wander the manor in a semblance of being a responsible sage. But he probably won't say no if Khun insists. ]
[ khun couldn't sleep like this anyway, so he rolls as easily as he's able to manage. but rather than settle in, he props himself up on his hands.
normally he'd just refuse outright if it was stated like this, and it reflects in the way his voice has a huffy quality to it when he speaks again. ]
I can get up or you can stay. [ it'd still be stupid for him to sleep so soon he thinks, but since he's made that mistake once already, it doesn't count as doing it again a second time. ]
[ Tatara lifts himself into a sit, though he props an arm up behind him so he's still more or less in normal speaking range with Khun. He gazes at him over his shoulder, and smiles. ]
You can come with me if you want. Otherwise I'll be back later with food.
[ The words come out of his mouth before he realizes what he's offering. Guess he'll be whipping up a meal for Khun later, huh? ]
[ He taps a finger to his chin, and his gaze drifts upwards. ]
Nothing too complicated. I guess I don't know what you like yet, either. [ He glances at Khun (tell me your favorite food), but only for a second. ] But probably some rice, for energy. Some fried greens, probably in butter...or whatever other sauce I find lying around. I think there was some pork belly, too? I think I saw some fruit pastries leftover, too...
[ Mentally walking around the kitchen and picking out whatever catches his eye. It's fine. ]
[ he catches that look but he's still feeling a bit stubborn, so try again next time. ]
I'm not going to be able to eat all that, but the pork belly sounds good. [ savory dishes are delicious and pork belly is decadent in just the way he likes it.
with a yawn he stretches and then pushes himself off the bed. ]
[ He'll make it extra tasty, too! With an enthusiastic little clap, Tatara gets up from the bed, leaving Khun with whatever time he needs to get up, and then skulks around the room.
He finds the coffee cup, notes it isn't that old? And lifts it up. ]
[ whatever time...when it comes to khun and getting ready, that's dangerous. but today he has a reason to keep his ritual short because there's really not much fixing his hair without a shower, so he settles for putting it in a side swept french braid, bangs neat across his forehead with bobby pins. you'd think this is way too much effort for just being seen in public, but it's the least he can do.
he washes his face of course too, and by the time he peeks his head out of the bathroom (it's at least ten minutes, maybe fifteen), he's in a much better mood and more awake. ]
No, but you can make me another one. [ lukewarm coffee is gross. sorry there's nothing else around in his room besides a bunch of dried flowers, chess set, and various books from the library. ]
[ Tatara makes a little note to himself: Khun could use some decorations. Trinkets, fun memories...
Khun peeks out to see Tatara peering into the cup of coffee, one eyed closed. He lifts his gaze, and smiles. The way he does his hair is always so cool, and Tatara admires the effort he puts into it. ]
Sure! Foam or no foam this time?
[ With the used cup in one hand, he swings open the door, and nods at Khun to go ahead. ]
[ maybe he could blame the lighter but still present fog around his shoulders and head, but that combination of enthusiasm and smile is disarming. khun spends a moment, paused in the doorway, just to admire it, letting it wash over him and warm his own features into a soft smile. ]
Foam. I want to see how much you've improved. [ said like a fact, because to khun it's a given that he has.
he walks out the door, smile still lingering, and pauses just a step before they're fully outside. ]
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It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, it wouldn't be the real thing. And I don't mind, I enjoy it—I want to become family head and that's a large part of it. [ it's not a rebuke or a dismissal but clarification; the weight of leading others has never felt particularly heavy to him. the weight of needing to be perfect in doing so however, is a different story.
"pretty intense", huh. he sighs at that, but it's amused. some of the curve returns to his voice in spite of everything else he's feeling (and not feeling), even if his cadence still isn't close to what it usually is. ]
...that's one way to put it. And no, there's no reason to—seeing me would probably make him think that I wanted to finish what I started.
[ not that khun would judge him for that tbh, he thinks it's pretty reasonable. ]
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...Hm. ]
Mm. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'd want to see you at each other's throats again.
[ More like, he doesn't really want something to happen to Khun, if Mika retaliates. ]
But, thank you. [ He squeezes, and his smile widens. ] Thanks for telling me about you and your world. I feel like I understand you a little bit better.
[ He won't be able to remember everything, but he makes a mental note to write down what he does into his book, once he gets back to his room. ]
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Tell me more about yourself sometime, I want to hear it. [ it doesn't need to be now, but he wanted to make his desire clear. ]
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He laughs lightly at that, though, tickled by the idea. ]
Sure, if you want to know. I don't have friends that are talking alligators, though. Or have to take a lot of big, important tests.
More importantly—
[ He leans forward slightly, peering into the cool blue of his eyes. ]
Thank you for listening to me. I...don't think I want you to get hurt.
[ That applies to all his wizards, right? He tries to think about what it might have been like if Khun were the one injured, not Mika. What would've he done?
...Well, that didn't happen, so his mind doesn't go there. But so his eyes remain, wide and pleading. ]
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My blood makes me pretty durable. [ he says that, but he knows that's not the point. and he hasn't forgotten that tatara said he was concerned about him before either, it's just worse now with that expression. khun doesn't really do guilt, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the urge to make things better. with a breath in to brace his core (his ribs are still tender so he probably shouldn't be doing this, but that's never stopped him before), he leans forward, freeing his hand to half-flop, half-hug tatara. and the bed probably, if they fall back onto it.
he lets out the breath and the words he was holding in his chest once they settle. ]
It would be hard not to listen to you. [ it's not something he would normally say, but he really is still sore all over. ]
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Because see, these pillows were dangerous. Tatara has sunk and slid into them, just a touch, at this point, just enough that when Khun flings himself onto him, it's more than enough to knock him off balance. But like, in slow motion. Tatara sinks into the pillows, back onto the blankets, but now with his legs to the side and Khun on top of him.
He gives a light laugh, and he feels the happiness thrum in his chest and dance on his cheeks, and he gently wraps his own arms around Khun's middle. ]
Khun... [ He says this in a half-whine, half-exclamation, nothing particularly heartfelt or serious, his laugh the undercurrent in the way he says his name. ]
Are you sure about that? Not gonna get second thoughts if I decide to drag you halfway across the country to try a rare and unique art of fruit cutting with me?
[ Totally made-up example, but he knows a handful of his closest cohort at Homra would absolutely complain if he did that to them. ]
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he lets himself fall into the hug, tatara, and the bed completely; he's more solid than you might guess just by looking at him, toned and muscular even with his torso wrapped under his t-shirt to support his ribs. which might be stinging a little right now, but khun doesn't pay it much mind. ]
That's a very specific example. We're not going today, but tomorrow should work.
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[ The exclamation comes from surprise, comes with another burst of laughter. It's hard when Khun, sturdier than he is, is weighing him down, but he finds it hard to mind.
The more surprising thing, though, is that Khun is willing. Planning ahead of him, even. Is this what it's like to be on the same page as someone? For a second, it catches him by surprise again, but...he doesn't hate it. ]
When we haven't even gone on the first date yet?! [ Labelling it as a date as opposed to, you know, just a regular outing where he so happens to drag another person along. ]
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Or we can call it our preludial date. Your choice.
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Mm... I think I'll be patient.
[ His tone cools, like the placid waters of Khun's eyes and hair and everything else, and a hand shifts to rest higher on his back. ]
You were just in a fight, remember? You didn't even tell me if you were hurt. ...But I guess I should've asked.
[ There's worry in woven in to his words, but faint. ]
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oh. he's caught just a bit off guard by a reverberation, though this one he did to himself. it makes his words have a soft edge to them, just a bit feathery. ]
I was, but I'll be fine. I think if anymore people came to offer me healing, it would have been an actual parade. All I was missing was sleep, but—
[ he can't really gesture with his arms like this and he doesn't care enough to move, so he just tilts his head instead. (actually he should definitely eat at some point, but he's never been particularly good at sticking to mealtimes when it's just him.) ]
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You're okay now?
[ It's hard not to smile, though. So one tugs at the corner of his mouth as he looks at him in the pause. ]
What about food?
[ Tatara is mentally checking off the list: first aid, water, rest, food. He's seen his fair share of...every wound, thanks to his life in the gang. So no matter what time of day it happens to be now, he's going to ask.
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Mmhmm. [ right, his words. ] Well there's that. [ he shrugs as much as he can like this, and yawns a little. honestly he wants more sleep than food, but both things are conspiring against him at this point. ]
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Still sleepy?
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They really need to invent energy drinks here. [ he's had coffee (the cup somewhere over on his desk) since malice is a real one, but there's nothing like caffeine + taurine + a whole bunch of electrolytes to really keep you going. ]
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Then what about another nap? I could tuck you in and everything.
[ He's going to try and roll Khun over, so they're side by side again.
His intent is to leave him to sleep on his own, so Tatara can wander the manor in a semblance of being a responsible sage. But he probably won't say no if Khun insists. ]
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normally he'd just refuse outright if it was stated like this, and it reflects in the way his voice has a huffy quality to it when he speaks again. ]
I can get up or you can stay. [ it'd still be stupid for him to sleep so soon he thinks, but since he's made that mistake once already, it doesn't count as doing it again a second time. ]
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[ Tatara lifts himself into a sit, though he props an arm up behind him so he's still more or less in normal speaking range with Khun. He gazes at him over his shoulder, and smiles. ]
You can come with me if you want. Otherwise I'll be back later with food.
[ The words come out of his mouth before he realizes what he's offering. Guess he'll be whipping up a meal for Khun later, huh? ]
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[ He taps a finger to his chin, and his gaze drifts upwards. ]
Nothing too complicated. I guess I don't know what you like yet, either. [ He glances at Khun (tell me your favorite food), but only for a second. ] But probably some rice, for energy. Some fried greens, probably in butter...or whatever other sauce I find lying around. I think there was some pork belly, too? I think I saw some fruit pastries leftover, too...
[ Mentally walking around the kitchen and picking out whatever catches his eye. It's fine. ]
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I'm not going to be able to eat all that, but the pork belly sounds good. [ savory dishes are delicious and pork belly is decadent in just the way he likes it.
with a yawn he stretches and then pushes himself off the bed. ]
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[ He'll make it extra tasty, too! With an enthusiastic little clap, Tatara gets up from the bed, leaving Khun with whatever time he needs to get up, and then skulks around the room.
He finds the coffee cup, notes it isn't that old? And lifts it up. ]
Do you still want this?
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he washes his face of course too, and by the time he peeks his head out of the bathroom (it's at least ten minutes, maybe fifteen), he's in a much better mood and more awake. ]
No, but you can make me another one. [ lukewarm coffee is gross. sorry there's nothing else around in his room besides a bunch of dried flowers, chess set, and various books from the library. ]
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Khun peeks out to see Tatara peering into the cup of coffee, one eyed closed. He lifts his gaze, and smiles. The way he does his hair is always so cool, and Tatara admires the effort he puts into it. ]
Sure! Foam or no foam this time?
[ With the used cup in one hand, he swings open the door, and nods at Khun to go ahead. ]
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Foam. I want to see how much you've improved. [ said like a fact, because to khun it's a given that he has.
he walks out the door, smile still lingering, and pauses just a step before they're fully outside. ]
I'm going to get you a key.
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