wizardmanor | Floor 2, Room 4

[ Oh, this is...

Day understands wanting to touch and hold someone else—there's a reason he's made some spectacular choices after joining the Division of Serenity that, in hindsight, might have spurred on some of the unsolicited romantic advice and match-making offers from his colleagues. It's reassuring and reaffirming. That you exist in this world and someone wants to grab hold of you and keep you, if only for a little while longer.

And that is why Day lets Phil grasp onto him like a lifeline. He gets it. He even runs his thumb over the back of Phil's hand in what he hopes is a comforting gesture (it was for him, anyway), while his free hand move to brush Phil's hair aside.

...This is probably selfish of him, too. But if he keeps it at just this, then he won't be taking advantage of a sick man, right? ]

[There's the briefest start as that hand brushes his hair aside, his body tensing for just a moment... and then he's relaxing into that touch, taking a few shuddering breaths as he attempts to get his crying under control. It doesn't seem to be working, though, when the gentle contact just makes the tears flow that much harder.

He wants to move his arm. He wants to look right at Day and ask him why he's doing this. But at the same time, that touch is so soft, so gentle that he doesn't want to hear that this is all merely misplaced pity or sympathy, because he wants to be able to believe that there's more to it than just that.

In the depths of his heart, realization dawns slow, a growing knowledge of just why it is that he wants so desperately for his hand to remain entwined with Day's.

Yes, he truly is selfish in all things.]

[ Day at least seems to understand that Phil is crying because he's overwhelmed with emotion, not necessarily because he's upset. Maybe that's why he's so patient as he smooths out Phil's hair and carefully strokes his head, like he figures Phil needs it. ]

...I can stay for as long as you want.

[ Want, not need. Permission granted for Phil to be selfish, since it's not as if Day isn't being selfish either. At least until Day's other obligations need to be handled, like other visits, things to do...

(Right, he was supposed to meet Ginger once he's gotten some rest, but right now Day isn't so sure if that appointment still holds up given how Mika had reacted at the time. He'll just have to trust Ginger on that front.) ]

Edited 2024-06-07 05:19 (UTC)

[As Day strokes his hair, Phil's tears gradually begin to slow, his breathing evening out, although still interspersed with the occasional quiet catch of breath. It's another few long moments before at last he lowers that arm, though he keeps his eyes closed for the time being. Even though the fact that Day hasn't pulled his hand away has given him enough reassurance to stop trying to hide his emotions, he still isn't ready to look at the other man just yet.

What would he see if he were to look, he wonders... but no, deep down he's still the same person who has never had the courage to take action when it comes to matters of the heart.]

... thank you.

[It's all that he trusts himself to say right now, but it's also really the only thing that matters. He appreciates this more than Day will ever know.]

[ It's kind of funny (or it would have been, anyway) that for some reason he knows two people who seem to cry easily here, and they both happen to be Eastern wizards. Day isn't even really thinking when he reaches over with his free hand to wipe at what's left of the tears on Phil's face, as easily as he did it a few weeks ago with someone else. ]

You're welcome. [ His tone is still gentle, and while Phil can't see it, he's also smiling gently. ]

[... oh. Now Phil's eyes do snap open in surprise, and he turns his head to the side to see...

... Day smiling at him with an expression so soft it makes something twist within him. And he stares for a long moment before he even realizes he's staring, the heat in his cheeks now from something other than the fever.

But Day isn't letting go of his hand, and with that realization he shifts just slightly to turn on his side to face him just a little more as he curls into a more comfortable position. Maybe just for now it's all right to trust that hand that's still encircling his with such a gentle warmth...

It isn't long before he begins to drift off, exhausted from the combination of the emotional outburst and his own poor health. And when he finally does? There's the faintest flicker of a smile on his own face as well.]

[ Normally, Day wouldn't be particularly affected by someone staring at him—he's dealt with that sort of thing enough over the years—but the fact that it's Phil doing it is somehow rather embarrassing? He manages to keep his cool as Phil drifts off to sleep, only covering his face with his free hand after he's sure it won't stir Phil awake.

Ah, he really is hopeless. When he thinks a grown man 12 years his senior looks cute while fast asleep, he really has become a feelings disaster. And his tired, wounded heart reminds him: even if it makes you happy now, always remember to keep your expectations low when it comes to love. You can't even guarantee your future right now, let alone one with another person in it.

Day doesn't pull his hand back from Phil's grasp until well after he's asleep, leaning back in the chair he's been using while keeping an eye on Phil. It seems rude to just leave after all that (how would Phil react if he woke up and Day wasn't there?), so instead he just settles to take a nap while sitting. That much should be fine, right? ]

Edited (When you accidentally hit post comment too fast,) 2024-06-07 09:50 (UTC)

[Phil isn't even aware of how long he drowses, his body demanding rest in a futile attempt to recover as best it can. He knows he'll be alone when next he wakes, and perhaps that's why he's in no particular hurry to try to claw his way back to wakefulness-- there's no reason for him to try to push himself past his body's natural inclinations this time.

He simply assumes that hours have passed when he blinks awake, vision still fuzzy from sleep. But even with his one eye mostly sightless without his monocle, the blur settled in the chair across from the bed is unmistakable, and for a moment his breath catches in his throat.]

... Day?

[It's a stupid thing to ask, because of course it's Day. Who else would it be? Still, the fact that he's still here even after Phil has been sleeping for however long... it makes the since-quieted guilt flare to life again within his chest.]

[ Day, for his part, just assumed this was as good a time to catch up on rest as any. He's sitting in the chair with his arms crossed, having nodded off there.

But for someone who usually seems laidback, he stirs almost as soon as Phil spoke. ]

Mmm?

How long... was I asleep?

[In other words, just how long has Day been sitting there waiting for him to awaken? He hopes it wasn't for several hours...]

I'm sorry... you should have gone to get some rest if you were that tired, not just slept in a chair. I'm just fine.

[And to illustrate this, he once again attempts to sit up and this time actually mostly manages it on his own, tired though he still is.]

[ Day blinks slowly as he processes what Phil just asked him. ]

...Honestly, I ain't sure? [ He hasn't been keeping track of the time. ] And you don't gotta apologise when I'm the one who ended up nappin' here.

Here--

[Now that he's upright, he uses this as an opportunity to try to scoot over somewhat and clear a larger space on one side of the bed. If there's one plus to the beds in the manor, it's that they're all more than large enough to fit at least two people if needed.

That accomplished, he pats the now-empty side of the bed with one hand.]

At least lie down here if you're going to nap. I don't want you getting a crick in your neck because you decided to look after me...

[Because at this point? He's getting the feeling that even if he insists that it's fine for Day to leave, that isn't going to happen.]

[ Day is just. Looking at the now-empty side of the bed. Then at Phil. Then at the bed again. ]

You sure?

[ Phil, do you realise you're asking him to lie down in your bed, next to you, ]

Yes, of course. There's plenty of space.

[He's done this tons of times before with Marcus? It's perfectly fine?]

I'll try my best not to take all of the blankets, but apparently I'm not very good at that if Marcus is to be believed.

[ ...Day almost wants to laugh at how oblivious Phil is being, seriously. In fact, he does laugh a little because this is endearing to him. ]

Aight. Just for a bit.

[ And he'll climb right into that empty spot for him. ]

[... it is only now with Day actually lying down in the bed mere inches from him that Phil realizes the error of his ways, his brain grinding to a sudden and abrupt halt.

Oh. Oh no. Day is close enough that Phil can feel the warmth from his body, and suddenly he swears that the temperature of the entire room has gone up several degrees. Or is his fever back? Maybe that's it.

But... at the same time, he desperately craves this closeness and warmth, so much so that he wants to reach out and touch it, yet wisely decides to avoid doing so.

It's a long moment before he can finally speak.]

Is that better?

[ For his part, Day is reminding himself not to touch, or this will go from sweet to deeply awkward. Even if it is tempting to play with Phil's hair a little like this. He makes himself comfortable in the bed, and when Phil finally asks him the question, he manages a smile. ]

Definitely better.

[ A bed will always beat a chair. ]

[Once again Phil feels the heat rise in his cheeks when Day smiles, and he has to force himself not to try to duck his head away in an attempt to hide what he's sure is the blush that accompanies it. That much at least he can always attribute to the fever if necessary...

Instead, he just tries to focus on looking at something - anything - else, which in this case happens to be Day's eyes, since they're right in front of him.

This may also have been a mistake. But even with one eye mostly blind, he sees...]

...!

[Is that... light in Day's eyes?]

[ Starlight in his pupils, to be exact. Flecks of blue starlight that make them look like a miniature night sky encapsulated in a gaze. It's the sort of thing that is hard to notice in broad daylight, but in a dark or even dim room, someone could notice it if they paid attention.

Day seems to have noticed something else about Phil's eye too, judging by how he seems to give a quick wave in front of Phil's right eye. ]

Can't see?

[Phil doesn't know what the flecks are-- the only thing he knows is that they're captivating, and he finds himself staring without even meaning to, as though somehow if he watches long enough the light might draw him into its depths.

It takes a moment for him to even notice that Day is waving that hand in front of his eye, and at last he blinks.]

Ah-- not very well out of that eye without my monocle, no.

[Without said monocle to obstruct the view, it's clear the eye is grey and cloudy, the pupil smaller than the other.]

But even so... your eyes-- they're shining.

[Then, because he's not so oblivious that he doesn't realize how that comes across:]

Like there's something lighting them from within...

Edited 2024-06-08 04:55 (UTC)

[ Day has to wonder if that has to do with Phil's illness, too... But before he can ask that question, Phil mentions his eyes, and Day can't help but fluster a little at the idea that Phil was paying enough attention to notice.

...He supposes it's fine to tell Phil this, considering he's told people here so much more already. ]

Ah, that's starlight.

Starlight?

[Somehow he's getting the feeling that Day doesn't mean that metaphorically. It certainly doesn't seem metaphorical with the way it seems to twinkle like the night sky itself, but...

... perhaps he should stop looking quite so closely.]

Some kind of magic from your world?

[He shouldn't keep staring. He really shouldn't keep staring. But he can't seem to tear his eyes away...]

[ It really isn't just a figure of speech. The way the light shimmers really is reminiscent of twinkling stars in the night sky, if Phil keeps staring. ]

I guess you could call it that? It's more...how to say, a mark that I've blessed by one of the goddesess of the stars, back home.

[ He says this quite neutrally. ]

Blessed by a goddess...

[He's quiet for a moment, thinking of Dana and her Priestess. But it's precisely because of that that he's well aware of all of the burdens that such a thing entails, and he can't help but wonder how Day ultimately feels about it.

The neutral tone of Day's voice gives him a bit of trepidation... but perhaps if he reaches out for his hand once again, the question he's about to ask won't seem quite as obtrusive.]

... would you tell me more? About yourself, I mean. But only if you don't mind...

[He smiles a little, quiet and sad.]

I told you I've never been very good with people, so I don't really know what sorts of things make for good conversation, or what kinds of questions are all right to ask. If it isn't about mirristry or my research, I tend to just let other people do the talking, but... I know that probably makes me rather boring to be around. So I'd like to learn to be better...

[ Day seems a little surprised to see Phil being the one to reach out instead, but he makes no protest and lets Phil take his hand. ]

Haha, well...You can practice with me. [ He always enjoys talking with Phil, anyway. ] And...I may as well tell you more 'bout myself. There's some stuff you oughta know, anyway.

[ If they're going to be this entangled, apparently. ]

You got a Heaven, where you're from?

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