[It's comfortable, lying together like this, and that's something Malice would cling to, no matter what. He doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to give Yamato the chance to leave, because he's afraid Yamato will take it. That's what humans should do, especially after being bitten by a vampire. And yet they never do, and sometimes they even say it's okay or you just needed to feed and Malice is just so tired of hurting people just to survive.
In a world like this, where he doesn't need to hurt others, he's grown complacent. Yes, he feeds, and yes, he loathes it, but never before has it truly hit him just how much he hates it. Mika said they were monsters - and right here, right now, Malice can't help but believe that wholeheartedly.
But Yamato is still here. And he still loves Yamato very much. And that has to mean something, no matter how badly the guilt is crushing him right now.]
...Love you, [he whispers with a tongue to clumsy to articulate exactly the thoughts dancing across his mind] I love you so damn much, Yama.
[ What Yamato sees isn't a monster or some abhorrent being. What he sees now is safety and comfort, someone who would never mean to hurt him, someone who hasn't and won't reject him for who he is. It's only right that Yamato returns that sentiment, isn't it? It's not a burden for him to do so, either. It's as easy as breathing – something that he nearly forgets to do when he hears the quiet words that escape Malice's lips.
They don't say "I love you" as often as others do, so when they say it, it feels like it means something. And he knows that it does, especially in a moment as vulnerable as this one.
He can't help but allow his smile to broaden while it melts into something incredibly fond. (It may be a relief that his voice is back again, also.) ]
[It is, it's a relief to hear - though really, it isn't as though he needed to hear it. He knew Yamato was fine. He's fed on humans countless times; he knows just how much he can safely take. He recognizes their heartbeats and Yamato's especially. So of course Malice knew that Yamato was just fine... and yet relief still floods him as Yamato speaks.
Without hesitation, Malice pulls his human closer, so Yamato can rest in the hollow between Malice's neck and shoulder. This is usually where he'd cuddle on Yamato, but he can't do that right now, not after he just hurt his human. Maybe it's some backwards way of apologizing, as if asking Yamato to take from him, as though that would somehow make things even. That's not the exact intention, of course - Malice just wants to hold Yamato close, so close that there's no space left, because he has no intention of leaving any time soon.
He meant what he said - he wants to be selfish and keep Yamato all to himself, both to care for him and to protect him. And right now, to hold him close and never let him go, because he can't imagine a life without Yamato anymore.]
[ Yamato doesn't protest when Malice pulls him in. He welcomes it, allows himself to be so close that there's no space between them, and so easily, too. He tightens his own hold in kind and gently rests his head where Malice wants him to. Malice may be inherently cold, but Yamato feels nice and warm where he is, and he buries his nose in Malice's neck. He's quiet and doesn't say a word, because he's overwhelmed with just how devoted he is to the person beside him.
It's nice to be loved, and it feels even nicer to love in return. He feels so light and yet so much at the same time. Yamato doesn't know what to say, if there's anything to say, so he's content to lie here in comfortable silence as his hand gently brushes against his partner's back.
He'd been thinking on and off about what to do when this is all over, when they have to return home, when he has to face his friends again and see what's become of them since his disappearance. He's gone through multiple scenarios in his head of what might happen, but the one constant is that he's always had Malice in his thoughts. And even if they were never to see each other again for one reason or another, he'd already made up his mind on not being able to love anyone else. Yamato will love Malice until his love isn't wanted anymore; if Malice is fine with having it for eternity, then Yamato will give it to him without end.
[Though the guilt still gnaws at him, just as hungry as Malice was before, there's a small flicker of something else burning hot and bright in his chest. The familiar spark of hope - the one he's spent so much time cycling between carefully nurturing and ruthlessly crushing, because why should he hope for anything better than his current lot in life? Why should he believe things will get better, when time and time again, they haven't? When given the choice between a life he quite enjoyed and the hope of a better future for the humans he cared for, Malice took the chance for more. For family, yes, but for fortune and power and status as well - and because some part of him was terrified of losing that spark of hope. He's lost it so many times before, after all, so why cling to it? Why not destroy it, and start again, on his own terms?
Did you get what you wanted? Lotisse had asked him, of siding with Rosalie. One of the few times that man had ever been straightforward about anything.
And one of the only times he was straightforward about his feelings on it in turn, No.
But here in this world, things are different. Things have been different from the moment he greeted those trapped here with him, tasked with something they realistically should never be capable of. Granted magic, and freedom in a way Malice has never truly had, and left to learn and change based on this world, the people, and those they've met along the way.
The old Malice would have been terrified of this, of that he's sure. The spark of hope that burns brightly now would have been crushed long before this point, so as to keep from being hurt again. But that isn't the case now, and Malice allows himself to enjoy that feeling, relaxing into Yamato's grip, nuzzling against his human gently.
Did you find the love you were looking for?
No. I don't know if I ever will.
Malice was wrong about that. He couldn't be more happy to have been wrong.]
[ Some time passes in which they stay tangled up in each other, and Yamato's content to lie down without saying a word for a while longer. A part of him can't help but wonder, however, how much Malice is still feeling that guilt. He hopes it's muted by now, but you never know.
Moments later, he pulls back, but only just enough so he can look at Malice again. He can't help himself, either – he moves in to press a gentle kiss to Malice's cheek. It just feels...right, to do so. Almost like he needs to reaffirm his feelings or something like that.
Anyway, he's going to ask something stupid, because he feels like the time for lightening the mood is past due. Maybe it'll help. ]
So. Did I taste okay?
[ ...Well, alright. He's going to lighten the mood with a question that can very easily be misconstrued out of context. It's not on purpose....I swear.... ]
[It's so relaxing being tangled up like this that Malice is a bit startled when Yamato pulls back a bit. He allows him to go, of course, head tipped a bit into the pillow as he waits for the words.
...Which are not at all what he expected. While the meaning behind the question is obvious, the first thing that shoots out of Malice's mouth is absolutely not helping the mood at all.]
Can't comment 'til I've had more of ya, yeah?
[.................at least you lightened the mood, yamato? unfortunately, malice just ruined it.]
[He says, but then he leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of Yamato's mouth. It's partially in apology; he does appreciate the attempt to get his mind off of things, after all.]
[ Oh...cute... Yamato's heart flutters a little at the kiss, and he leans in to press a kiss to the corner of Malice's mouth in return. Then, he leans in and lightly nuzzles his cheek with his nose. ]
...I want to be with you, in all seriousness.
[ Yes, in that way. When the time's right, of course. ]
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In a world like this, where he doesn't need to hurt others, he's grown complacent. Yes, he feeds, and yes, he loathes it, but never before has it truly hit him just how much he hates it. Mika said they were monsters - and right here, right now, Malice can't help but believe that wholeheartedly.
But Yamato is still here. And he still loves Yamato very much. And that has to mean something, no matter how badly the guilt is crushing him right now.]
...Love you, [he whispers with a tongue to clumsy to articulate exactly the thoughts dancing across his mind] I love you so damn much, Yama.
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They don't say "I love you" as often as others do, so when they say it, it feels like it means something. And he knows that it does, especially in a moment as vulnerable as this one.
He can't help but allow his smile to broaden while it melts into something incredibly fond. (It may be a relief that his voice is back again, also.) ]
I love you, too.
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Without hesitation, Malice pulls his human closer, so Yamato can rest in the hollow between Malice's neck and shoulder. This is usually where he'd cuddle on Yamato, but he can't do that right now, not after he just hurt his human. Maybe it's some backwards way of apologizing, as if asking Yamato to take from him, as though that would somehow make things even. That's not the exact intention, of course - Malice just wants to hold Yamato close, so close that there's no space left, because he has no intention of leaving any time soon.
He meant what he said - he wants to be selfish and keep Yamato all to himself, both to care for him and to protect him. And right now, to hold him close and never let him go, because he can't imagine a life without Yamato anymore.]
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It's nice to be loved, and it feels even nicer to love in return. He feels so light and yet so much at the same time. Yamato doesn't know what to say, if there's anything to say, so he's content to lie here in comfortable silence as his hand gently brushes against his partner's back.
He'd been thinking on and off about what to do when this is all over, when they have to return home, when he has to face his friends again and see what's become of them since his disappearance. He's gone through multiple scenarios in his head of what might happen, but the one constant is that he's always had Malice in his thoughts. And even if they were never to see each other again for one reason or another, he'd already made up his mind on not being able to love anyone else. Yamato will love Malice until his love isn't wanted anymore; if Malice is fine with having it for eternity, then Yamato will give it to him without end.
This is it.
This is home. ]
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Did you get what you wanted? Lotisse had asked him, of siding with Rosalie. One of the few times that man had ever been straightforward about anything.
And one of the only times he was straightforward about his feelings on it in turn, No.
But here in this world, things are different. Things have been different from the moment he greeted those trapped here with him, tasked with something they realistically should never be capable of. Granted magic, and freedom in a way Malice has never truly had, and left to learn and change based on this world, the people, and those they've met along the way.
The old Malice would have been terrified of this, of that he's sure. The spark of hope that burns brightly now would have been crushed long before this point, so as to keep from being hurt again. But that isn't the case now, and Malice allows himself to enjoy that feeling, relaxing into Yamato's grip, nuzzling against his human gently.
Did you find the love you were looking for?
No. I don't know if I ever will.
Malice was wrong about that. He couldn't be more happy to have been wrong.]
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Moments later, he pulls back, but only just enough so he can look at Malice again. He can't help himself, either – he moves in to press a gentle kiss to Malice's cheek. It just feels...right, to do so. Almost like he needs to reaffirm his feelings or something like that.
Anyway, he's going to ask something stupid, because he feels like the time for lightening the mood is past due. Maybe it'll help. ]
So. Did I taste okay?
[ ...Well, alright. He's going to lighten the mood with a question that can very easily be misconstrued out of context. It's not on purpose....I swear.... ]
nsfwish i'm so sorry
...Which are not at all what he expected. While the meaning behind the question is obvious, the first thing that shoots out of Malice's mouth is absolutely not helping the mood at all.]
Can't comment 'til I've had more of ya, yeah?
[.................at least you lightened the mood, yamato? unfortunately, malice just ruined it.]
HELP ME????????????????
He. Hm.
He turns a very bright shade of pink and he can't help but clear his throat. ]
Oh.
[ Hang on a second. ]
...Are you asking?
buries face in hands
[.....................]
That isn't what you meant though.
[hm,]
IMMMMMM
[ . ]
You know, if you want – other things – [ he is so embarrassed. ] you can just ask.
🤝
Well, yeah, 'course I can. Figured I'd just save it for whenever we were gettin' in the mood, y'know? No sense rushin' into it.
LMFAOOOO
[ He's so red. Well. As red as one can be given how much blood he's lost but you know. ]
I mean...it's not like I'm experienced in that department either, so...
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Good thing I'm plenty experienced! I'll teach ya!
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Geez, don't sound so eager!
[ He's so flustered right now. ]
I-I mean, you can, it's fine, but – ah...
[ pleaaaase send help ]
nsfw mention again,,,
[And then, with a sly smirk that says he knows exactly what he's doing and he's doing it solely to cause chaos:]
'Sides, I've been wantin' in your pants for awhile now.
nsfw warning continues ig....FAREWELL
You. You've what, now.
[ No, no, he knows exactly what Malice said and what it means and it is making him incredibly embarrassed! Thanks! ]
I. Geez...
[ But. Okay.
1) Malice is hot.
2) He actually really liked that time they made out? They should probably do that again sometime?
3) Please send help. ]
It's not like...I would've said no...
stares into the sun
[This is just what couples do?? They ruck.]
i.
Fine.
[ Look. Malice has a point, but he also has no concept of shame and Yamato does, so. ]
I mean, you've already seen me shirtless...
[ EAST MISSION HAPPENED A LOT. ]
i'm so sorry.
[heh heh heh...]
.
Funny that I can't kiss you right now, isn't it.
[ Because. Like. Blood....right.... ]
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[He says, but then he leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of Yamato's mouth. It's partially in apology; he does appreciate the attempt to get his mind off of things, after all.]
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...I want to be with you, in all seriousness.
[ Yes, in that way. When the time's right, of course. ]
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[...]
An' thanks.
[For all of this.]
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[ Another kiss, then: ]
It's what I'm here for.
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[It's light, but he means it.]
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