wizardmanor | Floor 5, Room 3

[It's been a few hours since the meeting, and Urianger has kept his distance from Ithaqua. Their brief but arguably nasty spat was difficult to process. As such, he'd holed himself up in his room, contemplating what happened and where he went wrong.

He knows he's not going to figure it out on his own, though. He needs to talk to Ithaqua about it, and sooner rather than later. He's respected Ithaqua's wishes to stay away, but he can't let this rift be. He can't let it grow wider.

Later into the night, he ventures upstairs and gently knocks at his boyfriend's door.]

[Ithaqua pauses in the middle of stuffing whatever he can into this pouch he just bought from the West markets. Who could that be?

He has to delay to put on a mask-- a good thing, when he opens the door and sees who it is, because he frowns.]

You're here. [His voice is...? Not cold, but more carefully, deliberately neutral.]

[That tone is difficult to hear, but deserved. Urianger knows this, and that's why he's here to rectify it.]

Aye. I have come to speak with thee, if thou wilt allow it.

[And if not, well...he'll respect it. But he's not going to give up entirely.]

[Ithaqua is silent for a moment, staring up at Urianger as if trying to pick apart his expression. Then, eventually, he relents and steps aside to let him in.

His room is uncharacteristically a mess. It usually had some cushions scattered here and there, or a throw he'd left down, but there were never books, jars, or clothes where they should not be. In the middle of all of it, there's a drawstring pouch as large as one of Ithaqua's tomes on the floor.]

Edited 2024-06-20 03:33 (UTC)

[There isn't much to discern from Urianger's expression. However he may be feeling right now...he's not allowing it to show on his face.

He nods in gratitude and makes his way inside, noting the disarray of the room. Habit nearly sets in as he moves to pick up a few books, but he stops himself. He didn't come here to hang out like he usually would.

He turns to face Ithaqua. When he speaks, his tone is equally even and neutral.]

First and foremost, I came here to apologize to thee, Ithaqua. 'Twas not mine intent to anger thee at the meeting.

Your intent was obvious, Urianger. [Ithaqua closes the door behind Urianger and returns to attempting to push large objects through the opening of his bag.] I know it was not to anger me.

[Then he sighs, and stands, tossing the bag into his armchair, and faces Urianger properly. They really need to talk and he really should pay attention.]

And yet you did. Do you know why?

[Urianger watches him with increasingly furrowed brows. The bag is obviously magicked, but what's Ithaqua packing so much for? A question for another time.]

In truth, I do not. [He can only speculate, and he doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want to just guess at his lover's feelings.] I wish for to thee to explain so that I may understand.

[Ithaqua crosses his arms over his chest.]

Imagine, if you will, that you are volatile, and you dislike people so much you are willing to kill them to remove them from your space. However, you must work with them in order to survive some dangerous calamity you're not sure that even you can live through if you were to stay idle-- so you do not in order to prevent it. Or at the very least, find those who can save you from it.

[That rankles at him, honestly. He is powerful, he is proud of his strength, but this makes him remember that he is not as powerful as he would like. That he is still a child of a monster, not a full-grown one.]

And in comes someone saying that your work may be all for naught, you still have to face that insurmountable enemy anyway.

He did not anger me-- his words did, but I controlled myself from attacking. And you made it worse.

[To be completely honest, he'd rather not imagine that first part. But he will, because it would be disingenuous to ignore these parts of Ithaqua. He puts himself in Ithaqua's shoes- of someone who has never faced a calamity nor ever asked for the role of preventing one. Ithaqua has poured a lot into his role as a wizard and he's been rewarded for it up until now.

But now there's a possibility of a change in status quo, when Ithaqua had been working so hard for a different goal altogether.

He takes a deep breath. Steadies himself.]

Thou hast every right to be furious, and I do not blame thee for it. An ill omen is difficult to hear no matter the circumstances, to say nothing of our own. However, mine actions only served to invalidate thy feelings.

I'm...so very sorry.

[Maybe it would also help to explain why he stepped in in the first place.]

I acted in defense of Bruno without thought. He hath experienced an incredible amount of derision and anger toward his visions throughout his life, such to the point that his views of his amazing ability have become similarly negative. Mayhap irreparably so, I fear.

Though thy anger toward his words was likely naught worse than he hath heard before, it pained me to hear them all the same. Thus did I speak up for him.

This is, of course...only the first offense on my part. I did not help matters by carelessly speaking of alternate courses of action. I am all too quick to forget that many others here have not experienced a calamity ere their arrival to this star.

[Urianger can't make that face-- it crumbles Ithaqua's resolve to be mad at him. He avoided looking at Urianger throughout the meeting specifically for this reason.]

I should not blame you for wanting to protect your friend. [~~What are friends, though?~~] You were correct-- I felt I was not allowed to speak at all. Everyone must be oh-so controlled and rational all the time in so-called polite society, and apparently the only form of dissent allowed is cold neutrality while disagreeing.

[He ends in a growl. He resents that. No wonder everyone is so weak, they're so insincere, even to themselves. Politeness is a necessity to live around others, but if one were to control themselves all the time, they'll kill themselves from the inside.]

But he is your friend.

[So Ithaqua felt well and truly silenced by this… At the end of the day, that’s what Urianger tried to do, wasn’t it?]

He is… [He takes a tentative step toward Ithaqua, eyes softening.] But he did not ask me to do that. Thou art my lover, and I did not do right by thee in the moment.

[He frowns, shaking his head.]

I ought to have allowed thee thine anger and spoken my piece after. Mayhap the outcome would have been different.

[Ithaqua sighs. He reaches up and pulls his mask off, revealing a face that is deeply tired.]

What sort of outcome would that have been? There is no reason to be dwelling on the ought haves. [Though perhaps the outcome with Bruno specifically would not have changed. Ithaqua would still be aggravated at him.]

We have vastly differing opinions on this situation, and with the way I am, I will continue to sour the opinions of others, even your own friends. I will not change, for that would be insincere of me. [Except Urianger. But even so...]

You are the only reason I control myself towards your friends. [Wait, this might be a bit too cruel to say to Urianger... but it's still the truth.] And I shall endeavour to just... control my tongue more. But I cannot completely hide what I say, because I care not for the emotions of people who are not those I consider mine. They are not for me to be mindful of.

[With those harsh words, he looks up at Urianger, brows furrowed. Silently asking if he's still willing to have Ithaqua despite all of this.]

Edited (one million edits later... :sob:) 2024-06-20 10:13 (UTC)

[He can scarcely believe he's hearing any of this.

The words cut deep, and he finds himself turning away from Ithaqua for a moment. His arms cross tightly over his chest as he struggles to swallow this bitter pill.]

'Twould... 'Twould be selfish of me to ask thee to behave in any other manner. [Which is the truth, but he still can't hide the hurt in his voice.] I had simply wished for there to be no animosity between thee and my friends, as I care deeply for you both.

[Now he has to worry about how Ithaqua is going to treat his friends back home, and he doesn't want to do that.

No. Before getting to deep into those worries, he shakes his head.]

...In turn, shall endeavor to accept this truth. We may have our differences, but thou art worth far more to me than any sum of those differences.

[He can't change Ithaqua, he knows that. So he'll come to embrace every part of him, even the ones laced in thorns.]

[Ithaqua reaches out, and grasps Urianger by the arm. Believe it or not, he actually feels quite terrible about seeing his lover like this.]

I shan't ask you to choose between me and your friends. I will make sure that it will not happen. But this is still a warning, because I am an unpleasant person. [And he thinks Urianger shouldn't be responsible for minding other peoples' feelings, honestly. People should be responsible for their own feelings, and others should not try to take such things on for themselves unless they have reason to.]

Out of respect for you, I shall only truly bare my fangs if I am provoked first.

[Ithaqua will be able to feel the tension leaving Urianger as he sighs and begins to loosen up.]

...If thou wert truly so unpleasant, then I would not be looking forward to eternity with thee.

[He hasn't forgotten Ithaqua's promise, nor would he think of rejecting it now.

He turns back to his lover, managing a small smile as he looks down at him.]

I thank thee for thy consideration. This doth mean much to me.

[Ithaqua places his mask on top of his dresser, and beckons Urianger to come closer. Lean down.]

I am trying, just for you. I recognize that being with you means integrating into society... So I am trying.

Trust me, hm?

[He does as he's told, shifting to hold onto Ithaqua's arm as he does so.]

I shall. I shan't disrespect thine efforts. Believe me...I am not unfamiliar with them.

[Of course, Urianger had the benefit of still being young when he was dragged into society. He won't expect Ithaqua to give up his comforts so quickly or wholly.]

[Ithaqua closes his eyes, but instead of a kiss, he gives his lover a nuzzle from the temple down to the jawline.]

I, too, am sorry for treating you that way. [Then he places his chin on Urianger's shoulder, sighing deeply.

Apologies sit so strangely on his tongue, but he recognizes that he, too, was in the wrong. Even if he doesn't care to apologize to Bruno when he truly did nothing wrong to the man, Urianger matters more.]

[The apology means a lot, as does Ithaqua's affection. Urianger shifts to hold him close, placing a hand on the back of his head.]

Apology accepted. [He tips his head to plant a kiss against Ithaqua's head.] I thank thee for thy willingness to speak with me on this. Disagreements are inevitable, but I do not wish for them to fester.

I still need time to myself after each one... [He has to try hard not to purr at Urianger's affection.]

So I do not bite you whenever you attempt to speak to me.

[He doesn't even doubt that Ithaqua would bite him.]

Thou shalt have thy space should more arise. Thou needn't bare thy fangs...in the event of disagreements.

[The clarification, and the implication to go along with it, is intentional. Perhaps Urianger is trying to lighten the mood now that the worst has passed.]

[Now Ithaqua stands on his toes and wraps his arms around Urianger.]

Well, you would know what situations I would prefer to bite you in. [Such as when they're settled down and relaxing, and Urianger's hands somehow stray too close to Ithaqua's face when the creature is feeling lazy but affectionate. Little, fangless nips when he doesn't know how to express himself.]

[Urianger breathes a sigh of relief. For the better part of a day, he worried he may have lost this. But it was ridiculous to think that one argument could ruin everything for them. There will be times of anger and misunderstanding in any relationship. The important thing is being able to work through those problems- to listen, understand and grow.

He lowers himself further so Ithaqua needn't strain himself.]

I would, and I would know how fortunate I am to share those situations with thee.

[With his beloved young monster.]

[Ithaqua's sole response is to nuzzle more, and mumble wordlessly. He breathes into his lover's shoulder, the tension he'd been holding all day-- and even longer-- dissipating. He has been stressed and working so hard, and here's Urianger to make him feel better.]

I feel the same way. [Peace is found in this man's arms. How can he ever give this up?

Then he rubs Urianger's temple with his nose.]

You should kiss me now.

At once, dearest Ithaqua.

[He's hardly going to reject such a suggestion.

Gently threading his fingers through Ithaqua's hair, he tips his head further to reach his lips. He begins with something chaste, but decides Ithaqua deserves more than that, so he goes in a second time for a deeper kiss.

Will Ithaqua allow him to inch them toward the bed to even out their height difference?]

night of the meeting

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