[ This is so much worse than Akira putting his sugar into his pocket.
Also, douchebag apparently smells clean, with a bit of the faintest earthiness. His bed has obviously been slept in within the last day, but he certainly hasn't gone to sleep just yet. ]
What do you want me to say? I'm glad you're alive? That much should be obvious, idiot.
[ That pillow smacks him right in the face, and if Akira doesn't think Kurapika isn't going to grab onto it and try and wrench it from his hands, he's got another storm coming. ]
[You know what? Kurapika can have it. Akira plays tug of war for all of a minute until he promptly lets go and grabs another pillow, beaming Kurapika over the head (11) with that one too. He'll never see it coming.]
Oh yeah? Just one thing wrong? You should start a list.
[ Bitch??? You dare hit him again? It definitely lands (6), and he frowns, shooting a glare at Akira. ]
Go on, tell me what should be on there.
[ Kurapika lunges at Akira, pillow at the ready, but his attempt to hit him in the face with it is a failure (1), and he faceplants onto the bed instead. ]
[Ah. Uno momento. He has to laugh his fucking ass off real quick.]
You're a riot.
[And you know what? They're not done here. Kurapika wanted a fight, so Akira's bringing it to him, jolting up to pin him to the bed (16) and holding him there, pinning his hands behind his back like a cop.]
You're under arrest for boyfailure. How do you plead?
[ Dirty trick. Sure, he told Akira that underhanded methods were good in fights, but he didn't mean now was the time to employ them. Still, it's easy enough to break out of someone's grasp, and all Kurapika has to do is twist juuuust the right way (19) before he breaks free.
Akira, of course, isn't going to be cut any slack. Kurapika knocks him back by shoving onto his shoulders and pins him with a knee pressed to his stomach. ]
[Damn. See, he was right to decline Kurapika's offer to fight before. Akira tries to fight back but only succeeds in getting pinned down with Kurapika's bony little knee jabbing into his gut (10). Still, he hasn't given up!
For the time being, he's going to go limp and play it cool like he's totally not in the worst position he could possibly be in. He has the winning tool on his side anyway:]
[Good, that's the exact response he was hoping for. You're giving him way too much power here, Kurapika... enough that Akira leverages his distraction to shove the side of Kurapika's knee, knocking him off balance (16).]
You look good in red.
[Add that to the list: schmoozer.
Now it's Akira's turn to drop his weight in Kurapika's lap and restrain him, knees bracketing his sides while his hands manacle his wrists. Should've thought twice about challenging Akira to a fight.]
[ Well. There really isn't much he can do about this, because Akira has him well and fully secured, so he can't easily break free (3). Kurapika makes half an attempt, but ah. It doesn't work so well.
That doesn't mean he doesn't have fight in him, however, because he glares right up at Akira, his lips set in a frown. ]
Funny you say that. Most people are terrified to see anything red in relation to me.
[Akira leans down, smirk tight on his lips, but ah... Maybe Kurapika's intimidating. Just a little intimidating, managing to keep Akira from pushing his luck (4) just this once.]
[ He decides not to resist again, figuring it would be a waste of time. But... for just a moment, he briefly looks away, feeling embarrassment creep up again (4) as Akira leans in. ]
Seeing those eyes on someone like me usually means death.
[ Usually. But does he seem like the person who goes around and indiscriminately kills? ]
[...Ah. What is with these red-eyed bitches? Akira's not going anywhere, that momentary feeling of intimidation quickly passing (13). He's staying right where he is, the feathered ends of his bangs tickling the tip of Kurapika's nose.]
[ Akira's close, too too close, but he manages to keep his cool nevertheless (14). ]
For whoever sees them. [ He pauses. ] Or so the rumors say.
[ Because there are certainly rumors, as it comes with the territory of being a mafia boss. Gaining control over the Scarlet Eyes means that it's become a powerful tool to threaten and intimidate, and Kurapika has certainly made use of it. ]
I'm a lot pickier when it comes to who I actually hurt.
[Alas, Akira does not. He doesn't move any closer, no, but he doesn't have the gumption to press his luck and move any closer (9). The idea that doing so could go badly gives him pause. Lucky you, Kurapika.]
Fine enough, as long as you're not on an active suicide mission.
[ Haha, about that... but Kurapika knows when revealing information like that could go wrong, and so he doesn't. ]
Those responsible for killing my people.
[ In other words, revenge.
Kurapika takes this moment to flip their positions (20), using his legs to topple Akira over and climb onto him instead, pinning his wrists at his sides. ]
If you think I like enacting my revenge, however, you'd be wrong.
[ He doesn't know why he divulges that little piece of information. Maybe it's because he figures it's something Akira already knows, something he has inherently picked up from observing Kurapika in the time they've spent together.
[...Ah, fuck. Kurapika really does look good on top. Akira's no quitter and he's certainly no coward, but he has to shift his gaze off and away from Kurapika to keep his sanity in check (8). Don't ask him what his problem is.
Good thing, actually. Listening to Kurapika now, it's for the best he's aiming his hard scowl at the wall. Revenge... He never wants to hear that word again. God damn it.]
But you'll do it anyway. You've convinced yourself there's no other choice. No way forward.
[ He could call Akira out for being a coward and avoiding eye contact like this, or he could argue and reassert himself as the winner of this weird little "fight" they're in.
But the fight leaves him (1), and he lets go of Akira's wrists and sits back against his thighs. For a moment, he sits in silence and stares down at Akira, clearly contemplating something. ]
I don't have anyone to go back to, Akira. Everyone I know was killed. What else am I supposed to do, when I have no home to return to?
[ Sure, he has his friends, but he can't get them involved in this. That's the whole point of driving them away. ]
He's seen that look before. He knows what those eyes mean. They fester in Akira's gut like a sickness, the look of someone who's given up, their mission one that ends only in their demise.
Akira's failed once. What are the chances he'd succeed this time (7)?
Swallowing around a dry throat, Akira stares up at Kurapika, vague traces of fear, of doubt, of concern lingering in his gaze.]
Start over. That's what you do. Kurapika... you're the one who's decided your life is over. Don't you see that?
[ He doesn't get it. Why is Akira worried about him? Why is there concern and fear in his eyes? It twists something in him, and it's like that nausea from earlier in the evening comes back with a vengeance.
Kurapika frowns and shakes his head, trying to keep his cool, but ultimately failing (7). He grips onto the sheets on either side of Akira's shoulders, fingers creating waves in the fabric. ]
You make it sound easy, but you of all people should know it isn't. Didn't you have to restart? You know I can't just decide to do it and know that everything will work out.
You know I did. But since when is anything easy worth doing?
[Akira jerks hard, freeing his hands to reach up and grab Kurapika by the shoulders (16). Shaking him, yanking him closer. Look at me. If Akira lets himself look away now, he'll risk making the same mistake he did with Akechi. He can't do that. He won't do that.]
If you can bust your ass exacting revenge, you can put that same effort into letting yourself live. Don't be a stubborn ass. You're better than that.
[ Akira's grip on him is strong enough that Kurapika can't really fight against it (10), and that frustrates him in a way he can't quite pinpoint—or more like, a way he doesn't want to acknowledge. He's supposed to be in control, he's always supposed to be in control.
But it's not always easy, is it? Not when he's all but hit over the head with words he's been so desperate to hear, even though just hearing them at all knocks him so off-kilter that all he can do is twist that lack of balance into anger (1).
He grits his teeth, his eyes flashing a deep scarlet as all of the feelings he doesn't know what to do with stir painfully in his chest. ]
How do you know I'm better than that? How do you know I even deserve it, Akira? You don't know me as well as you think you do.
[ Or maybe, just maybe, Akira has a much better read on Kurapika than he had ever anticipated, and he doesn't know what to do with this. ]
[Those scarlet eyes... Kurapika wasn't kidding, humorless as he is, yet Akira still finds himself idling before them like a deer caught in high beams. They're beautiful. Terrifying. They're eyes Akira never thought he'd behold again, but here he is, given a second chance, or is this a reminder of his failures? Is this the price he pays for his ego, his every mistake?
He'd rather err on the side of the positive, and wouldn't Akira always? If his ego damns him again, so be it, but he can't watch another person condemn themselves to hell right in front of him. He can't fail again. Surely, no one is beyond saving. Surely.]
I can see it, plain as day. You try to hard to be someone you're not. You're not the monster you think you are.
[And no amount of thinking it is going to turn you into a beast that blindly seeks revenge. You can't throw away your human heart.
Akira leaves no room for retort, hands sliding up to frame Kurapika's face and jerk him into a kiss (15). Sorry.]
[ Firsts don't mean that much to Kurapika, not when he decided to forego caring at all about his own experiences in life for the sake of revenge. Even so... this is one hell of a first kiss. Leave it to someone like Akira to do something as stupid as kissing a Kurta while their eyes are red.
Kurapika wants to argue, wants to tell Akira that he's wrong, that maybe he wasn't a monster before, but he certainly is now. How could he not be after giving away so many pieces of himself?
Ah, but he can't say any of that, not when Akira's lips are pressed against his and he's warm, so warm that for just a second Kurapika's mind goes blank. He quickly recovers (18), however, his hands gripping onto Akira's shoulders and pushing him away, his eyes just as intensely red as they were moments ago. ]
You really think what I wanted right now was a kiss? Are you an idiot?
[ Of course Kurapika is aware of the possibility that Akira wanted to kiss him for the sake of it and not because he thought that was what Kurapika needed, but that thought is so terrifying that he doesn't want to voice it aloud.
So instead, he does something as equally stupid and tugs hard on Akira's collar, pulling him into another kiss. ]
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Also, douchebag apparently smells clean, with a bit of the faintest earthiness. His bed has obviously been slept in within the last day, but he certainly hasn't gone to sleep just yet. ]
What do you want me to say? I'm glad you're alive? That much should be obvious, idiot.
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[Shock and awe! Rolling onto his back, Akira grabs the pillow and slings it at Kurapika's head.]
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There's something wrong with you.
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Oh yeah? Just one thing wrong? You should start a list.
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Go on, tell me what should be on there.
[ Kurapika lunges at Akira, pillow at the ready, but his attempt to hit him in the face with it is a failure (1), and he faceplants onto the bed instead. ]
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You're a riot.
[And you know what? They're not done here. Kurapika wanted a fight, so Akira's bringing it to him, jolting up to pin him to the bed (16) and holding him there, pinning his hands behind his back like a cop.]
You're under arrest for boyfailure. How do you plead?
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Akira, of course, isn't going to be cut any slack. Kurapika knocks him back by shoving onto his shoulders and pins him with a knee pressed to his stomach. ]
Oh, so now you want a fight?
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For the time being, he's going to go limp and play it cool like he's totally not in the worst position he could possibly be in. He has the winning tool on his side anyway:]
You look good on top.
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He tries to keep his cool, but he ultimately fails (4), the tips of his ears turning red and making its way to his cheeks. ]
I'm adding that to the list. Irritating.
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You look good in red.
[Add that to the list: schmoozer.
Now it's Akira's turn to drop his weight in Kurapika's lap and restrain him, knees bracketing his sides while his hands manacle his wrists. Should've thought twice about challenging Akira to a fight.]
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That doesn't mean he doesn't have fight in him, however, because he glares right up at Akira, his lips set in a frown. ]
Funny you say that. Most people are terrified to see anything red in relation to me.
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Yeah? Why's that?
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[ He decides not to resist again, figuring it would be a waste of time. But... for just a moment, he briefly looks away, feeling embarrassment creep up again (4) as Akira leans in. ]
Seeing those eyes on someone like me usually means death.
[ Usually. But does he seem like the person who goes around and indiscriminately kills? ]
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Death for who?
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For whoever sees them. [ He pauses. ] Or so the rumors say.
[ Because there are certainly rumors, as it comes with the territory of being a mafia boss. Gaining control over the Scarlet Eyes means that it's become a powerful tool to threaten and intimidate, and Kurapika has certainly made use of it. ]
I'm a lot pickier when it comes to who I actually hurt.
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Fine enough, as long as you're not on an active suicide mission.
[Just like every other red-eyed bitch he knows.]
Then who do you choose to hurt?
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Those responsible for killing my people.
[ In other words, revenge.
Kurapika takes this moment to flip their positions (20), using his legs to topple Akira over and climb onto him instead, pinning his wrists at his sides. ]
If you think I like enacting my revenge, however, you'd be wrong.
[ He doesn't know why he divulges that little piece of information. Maybe it's because he figures it's something Akira already knows, something he has inherently picked up from observing Kurapika in the time they've spent together.
But really... he doesn't know. ]
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Good thing, actually. Listening to Kurapika now, it's for the best he's aiming his hard scowl at the wall. Revenge... He never wants to hear that word again. God damn it.]
But you'll do it anyway. You've convinced yourself there's no other choice. No way forward.
[You've condemned yourself to death.]
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But the fight leaves him (1), and he lets go of Akira's wrists and sits back against his thighs. For a moment, he sits in silence and stares down at Akira, clearly contemplating something. ]
I don't have anyone to go back to, Akira. Everyone I know was killed. What else am I supposed to do, when I have no home to return to?
[ Sure, he has his friends, but he can't get them involved in this. That's the whole point of driving them away. ]
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He's seen that look before. He knows what those eyes mean. They fester in Akira's gut like a sickness, the look of someone who's given up, their mission one that ends only in their demise.
Akira's failed once. What are the chances he'd succeed this time (7)?
Swallowing around a dry throat, Akira stares up at Kurapika, vague traces of fear, of doubt, of concern lingering in his gaze.]
Start over. That's what you do. Kurapika... you're the one who's decided your life is over. Don't you see that?
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Kurapika frowns and shakes his head, trying to keep his cool, but ultimately failing (7). He grips onto the sheets on either side of Akira's shoulders, fingers creating waves in the fabric. ]
You make it sound easy, but you of all people should know it isn't. Didn't you have to restart? You know I can't just decide to do it and know that everything will work out.
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[Akira jerks hard, freeing his hands to reach up and grab Kurapika by the shoulders (16). Shaking him, yanking him closer. Look at me. If Akira lets himself look away now, he'll risk making the same mistake he did with Akechi. He can't do that. He won't do that.]
If you can bust your ass exacting revenge, you can put that same effort into letting yourself live. Don't be a stubborn ass. You're better than that.
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But it's not always easy, is it? Not when he's all but hit over the head with words he's been so desperate to hear, even though just hearing them at all knocks him so off-kilter that all he can do is twist that lack of balance into anger (1).
He grits his teeth, his eyes flashing a deep scarlet as all of the feelings he doesn't know what to do with stir painfully in his chest. ]
How do you know I'm better than that? How do you know I even deserve it, Akira? You don't know me as well as you think you do.
[ Or maybe, just maybe, Akira has a much better read on Kurapika than he had ever anticipated, and he doesn't know what to do with this. ]
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He'd rather err on the side of the positive, and wouldn't Akira always? If his ego damns him again, so be it, but he can't watch another person condemn themselves to hell right in front of him. He can't fail again. Surely, no one is beyond saving. Surely.]
I can see it, plain as day. You try to hard to be someone you're not. You're not the monster you think you are.
[And no amount of thinking it is going to turn you into a beast that blindly seeks revenge. You can't throw away your human heart.
Akira leaves no room for retort, hands sliding up to frame Kurapika's face and jerk him into a kiss (15). Sorry.]
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Kurapika wants to argue, wants to tell Akira that he's wrong, that maybe he wasn't a monster before, but he certainly is now. How could he not be after giving away so many pieces of himself?
Ah, but he can't say any of that, not when Akira's lips are pressed against his and he's warm, so warm that for just a second Kurapika's mind goes blank. He quickly recovers (18), however, his hands gripping onto Akira's shoulders and pushing him away, his eyes just as intensely red as they were moments ago. ]
You really think what I wanted right now was a kiss? Are you an idiot?
[ Of course Kurapika is aware of the possibility that Akira wanted to kiss him for the sake of it and not because he thought that was what Kurapika needed, but that thought is so terrifying that he doesn't want to voice it aloud.
So instead, he does something as equally stupid and tugs hard on Akira's collar, pulling him into another kiss. ]
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