( He does want to refuse - flatly and outright, and his lips purse at the confrontation. But Ahito is frank with him in a way he doesn't expect, and that catches him off guard.
... )
... The last person I knew who "took interest" in people was a freak.
( Not really an excuse, and he doesn't say it as one. His socialization's just been so completely damaged he can't really gauge if what Ahito says makes sense or not, or is normal or not, but it's clearly normal for Ahito, and in the end that's all that really matters in this brief moment.
He still isn't sure how he feels, even as Ahito confronts him to make a choice in choosing to stay or go. It's complicated, and maybe a little too complicated for him to parse - seeing the forest for the trees, so close to his heart.
He had brushed it off before, and he still doesn't understand it himself - but some part of him does fear betrayal. Hadn't he been willing so tentatively willing to trust Yuu's trust in Guren, and time and time again, Guren betrayed it - put Yuu in danger? Trust wrongly again, and someone else he knows might find their neck on the guillotine for his mistake, again, and again, and again.
And then some part of him fears himself, too. That he would be the first and finest traitor to someone's ease around him - that he would, as the ghost had taunted, take their neck in his teeth the moment they turn their back, like animal's instinct.
He fears these things with all the people he knows, but with humans most of all. Humans are more deceitful and fragile than he could ever hope to comprehend, cutting his palms as if a broken pane of glass.
...
Without coming to a verbal conclusion within his mind or without, he finally sits on the sill, as if to suggest he'll stay. However Ahito will interpret that. (He's still a little bit cowardly.) )
... Go to sleep.
( He reaches under his cloak and extracts a small pouch and chucks it carefully - it lands softly beside Ahito's head where he's lying. )
Have that when you wake up.
( The sound of the bag and the faint pulse of its energy likely gives its contents away even before Ahito has to check: it's a bag of mana stones; his payment from various jobs. He hadn't abstained from eating them for any ethical reason - he just hadn't gotten around to it yet, and this seemed a better use for them. That's all. )
... )
... The last person I knew who "took interest" in people was a freak.
( Not really an excuse, and he doesn't say it as one. His socialization's just been so completely damaged he can't really gauge if what Ahito says makes sense or not, or is normal or not, but it's clearly normal for Ahito, and in the end that's all that really matters in this brief moment.
He still isn't sure how he feels, even as Ahito confronts him to make a choice in choosing to stay or go. It's complicated, and maybe a little too complicated for him to parse - seeing the forest for the trees, so close to his heart.
He had brushed it off before, and he still doesn't understand it himself - but some part of him does fear betrayal. Hadn't he been willing so tentatively willing to trust Yuu's trust in Guren, and time and time again, Guren betrayed it - put Yuu in danger? Trust wrongly again, and someone else he knows might find their neck on the guillotine for his mistake, again, and again, and again.
And then some part of him fears himself, too. That he would be the first and finest traitor to someone's ease around him - that he would, as the ghost had taunted, take their neck in his teeth the moment they turn their back, like animal's instinct.
He fears these things with all the people he knows, but with humans most of all. Humans are more deceitful and fragile than he could ever hope to comprehend, cutting his palms as if a broken pane of glass.
...
Without coming to a verbal conclusion within his mind or without, he finally sits on the sill, as if to suggest he'll stay. However Ahito will interpret that. (He's still a little bit cowardly.) )
... Go to sleep.
( He reaches under his cloak and extracts a small pouch and chucks it carefully - it lands softly beside Ahito's head where he's lying. )
Have that when you wake up.
( The sound of the bag and the faint pulse of its energy likely gives its contents away even before Ahito has to check: it's a bag of mana stones; his payment from various jobs. He hadn't abstained from eating them for any ethical reason - he just hadn't gotten around to it yet, and this seemed a better use for them. That's all. )
Edited (typos) 2024-05-07 02:37 (UTC)
[ ... ]
...Given your response thus far, I won't disbelieve it.
Even rarer still is it for many to hardly fear death, however.
...Given your response thus far, I won't disbelieve it.
Even rarer still is it for many to hardly fear death, however.
... Fine.
( He doesn't get up though??? Is Mika just gonna stay there... Ahito can just wait and find out, clearly. )
( He doesn't get up though??? Is Mika just gonna stay there... Ahito can just wait and find out, clearly. )
( Non, and hopefully Ginger doesn't mind his absence this morning. When Ahito gets to rousing, he'll see the window is locked and closed again, and there's no Mika to be found there.
Instead, he's taken to sitting on his couch, or whatever other chair there is, so long as it gave him a decent view of the bed. He probably got bored enough to pick off a book or two from the bookshelf if there are any on it, but he's not an avid reader - more an idle one - so by the time Ahito wakes up, Mika doesn't have one in hand; he's just gazing in his direction without greeting, waiting for him to be properly awake. )
Instead, he's taken to sitting on his couch, or whatever other chair there is, so long as it gave him a decent view of the bed. He probably got bored enough to pick off a book or two from the bookshelf if there are any on it, but he's not an avid reader - more an idle one - so by the time Ahito wakes up, Mika doesn't have one in hand; he's just gazing in his direction without greeting, waiting for him to be properly awake. )
... Not that bad.
( Narrows his eyes slightly. Was that a grin, or just part of the yawn............... )
... How it happened. ( Do you not have perfect memory of what happened [redacted] hours ago before you went to sleep after being woken up in the middle of the night :/ ) Did he just outpace you? Or did you let your guard down?
( Narrows his eyes slightly. Was that a grin, or just part of the yawn............... )
... How it happened. ( Do you not have perfect memory of what happened [redacted] hours ago before you went to sleep after being woken up in the middle of the night :/ ) Did he just outpace you? Or did you let your guard down?
Was he already acting weird then?
( blah blah blah kill all wizards blah tirades
He studies Ahito, though, as he talks. )
... Did they actually heal you properly?
( blah blah blah kill all wizards blah tirades
He studies Ahito, though, as he talks. )
... Did they actually heal you properly?
( Good, eat your rock cereal. He watches him.
It sounds like Ahito was just unlucky, then. However, speaking to the root: )
... If people knew something was wrong, they should've investigated more closely.
( To most this would just be a case of hindsight being 20/20, but to Mika - cautious as he can be - it was wholly preventable. Slightest sign of oddity? Lock him up and investigate.
Ironic as that may sound for someone once livestock, once an unknowing experiment. )
... Do you need more blood?
It sounds like Ahito was just unlucky, then. However, speaking to the root: )
... If people knew something was wrong, they should've investigated more closely.
( To most this would just be a case of hindsight being 20/20, but to Mika - cautious as he can be - it was wholly preventable. Slightest sign of oddity? Lock him up and investigate.
Ironic as that may sound for someone once livestock, once an unknowing experiment. )
... Do you need more blood?
( ...
:bigthink: )
... Blood transfusions are difficult normally, but maybe they're easier with magic.
( and as we all know bruno Loves blood so let's ring him back up, )
:bigthink: )
... Blood transfusions are difficult normally, but maybe they're easier with magic.
( and as we all know bruno Loves blood so let's ring him back up, )
You don't need surgical equipment to heal with magic. Why would you need it for this?
( (patrick voice) just take the blood... and move it somewhere else )
( (patrick voice) just take the blood... and move it somewhere else )
( Yeah and then you insulate it with magic. What's so hard about this Ahito :/
While Mika considers the idea experimental, it's not any more insane than the healing that already takes place, in his opinion - something that defies reason, even as a vampire.
He sighs. )
... Then eat another one.
( ur death rocks :/ )
While Mika considers the idea experimental, it's not any more insane than the healing that already takes place, in his opinion - something that defies reason, even as a vampire.
He sighs. )
... Then eat another one.
( ur death rocks :/ )
( Oh. A little a surprise. )
... I thought you'd be annoyed again.
... I thought you'd be annoyed again.
( Wow. Squares his shoulders a little defensively. nvm he's Not helping you actually--
... )
I still don't know what to think of humans.
( He says this like he can't have an opinion of Ahito without it - and, in a way, they're hard to detangle. Every thought ends up coming with a caveat; a nagging, "what if...?" that he just can't escape.
... )
... Before I came here, I was betrayed by another human I tentatively trusted. ( Again. Thanks, Guren. ) And I ended up injured enough because of it I almost drained the person I was trying to protect in the first place.
( Yuu was cool about it, but it wasted precious time - time they didn't have. It made Yuu weaker - in a situation where they were already overpowered. It forced Yuu to make stupid choices that wasted more time. It forced Mika into a corner. It made Mika realize how if he'd just convinced Yuu out of trusting Guren, none of that would've happened, and it was his fault, again, that Yuu was in danger, and Mika was so selfish as to die protecting Yuu instead of facing the consequences for his constant failings, the way he deserved— )
I still don't know if I'm making the wrong decision again.
( Maybe Ahito will snap and kill Ginger or something??? Or maybe Mika will snap and kill him. Or maybe both of these things will happen at once. And it would have surely all been avoidable if he'd just thought a little more carefully, examined the risks more closely, weighed so carefully every possible outcome and just chosen the right one. He just doesn't know how. All the paths look the same. )
... )
I still don't know what to think of humans.
( He says this like he can't have an opinion of Ahito without it - and, in a way, they're hard to detangle. Every thought ends up coming with a caveat; a nagging, "what if...?" that he just can't escape.
... )
... Before I came here, I was betrayed by another human I tentatively trusted. ( Again. Thanks, Guren. ) And I ended up injured enough because of it I almost drained the person I was trying to protect in the first place.
( Yuu was cool about it, but it wasted precious time - time they didn't have. It made Yuu weaker - in a situation where they were already overpowered. It forced Yuu to make stupid choices that wasted more time. It forced Mika into a corner. It made Mika realize how if he'd just convinced Yuu out of trusting Guren, none of that would've happened, and it was his fault, again, that Yuu was in danger, and Mika was so selfish as to die protecting Yuu instead of facing the consequences for his constant failings, the way he deserved— )
I still don't know if I'm making the wrong decision again.
( Maybe Ahito will snap and kill Ginger or something??? Or maybe Mika will snap and kill him. Or maybe both of these things will happen at once. And it would have surely all been avoidable if he'd just thought a little more carefully, examined the risks more closely, weighed so carefully every possible outcome and just chosen the right one. He just doesn't know how. All the paths look the same. )
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