( He's relieved Ginger acquiesces, as if they'd diverted some terrible fate. He's happy, too, just to hear Ginger say he'd choose him. That's already enough, for Mika; it's like hearing a lifetime of Ginger choosing him in advance. It's okay if Ginger has to cut it short one day, because he's already made Mika so happy now. And Mika could look back on this for as long as he still has a heart, and it would warm him just as much - even if Ginger's no longer around.
Yes, the childish part of his heart wants these things Ginger offers - but he knows better than to lend it ear. That part of him is what killed his family. That part of him is what almost took Yuu-chan away from all those humans who... could look after him far better than Mika could. Don't ask for a lot - don't hope for a lot - don't need very much at all. He'll be the temperance between them if Ginger doesn't know when to pump the breaks when it comes to things that might put Ginger at risk. And they'll find a way to manage, somehow. )
... I will. ( Tell him if he likes or dislikes what Ginger does. ) And I'll... choose you too. Every single time.
( In what ways? He's still figuring that out, but he knows he isn't subtle when he has someone to devote himself to.
Still, he can't say what it is, but something about Ginger's lips to his knuckles - lips to his palm - Ginger's eyes clear and fixed on his - warms his cheeks.
Does he want to know if Mika loves this, too? Mika has insisted on his own honesty, and it's something he wants to keep to now. He thinks... Ginger will hear him out, whatever he says. And that makes it easier to speak, where he'd hesitated with Ginger before.
He swallows, fingers curling in light against Ginger's face. )
[ Blue eyes, hazy with heat, narrow with pleasure when he feels Mika’s fingers - his hand - cup his face, returning his affection. ]
Being kissed?
[ Here? his lips ask against Mika’s palm, the ending of the question another kiss. Another one at the base of his palm, lips closing over the rounded edge. And here? ]
My love…
[ Mika is his sweetest love. Every small taste of his essence winds Ginger tighter, harder - but he thinks, he thinks it’s fine. He doesn’t need release. He thinks he likes being a step closer to the edge each time, but never tipping - because he’d fall alone. Mika doesn’t experience release, does he? Mika falls in a different way.
No, Ginger would rather - if they could - together. Something… together. Until then -
(He’s watching, waiting. Tell him no. If not… )
A short trail marked by breath to where his pulse should be. His lips open like a bite - like a taste - and catch on skin. ]
I think… I understand - a little - what you mean when you say you like my blood. Should I… kiss you all over from now on? Would you like that?
( Yeah, there; yeah, there, too. He thumbs Ginger's skin gently as his lips work their way down, affirming.
There are so, so many people deserving of love - so many people who need it. Mika knows he doesn't deserve this; doesn't deserve - someone calling him their love, with all the affection so heavy in their chest he near mistakes their heart's beat for his own. But he takes this anyway, and this is the amount of selfishness - his childish desire - he'll allow himself.
Because he likes Ginger that much. Because these feelings are enthralling and new. Because Ginger would call him his love, when surely no one else would dare - when Ginger is his...
He exhales soft, breath warm, as Ginger's teeth scrape his skin. But he thinks he... doesn't dislike it. )
... Yeah. I— maybe. I think so.
( There's an expectant spark in his affectionate gaze, even as he funbles through all this. This is so new to him, and he's self-conscious, but he's... excited? Like a teen locked in a closet for seven minutes in heaven for the first time, even if this is nowhere near as much.
He's unsure, yes, but he kind of wants to find out. )
... But if you spend too long on it... I won't get to...
( His voice drops to a mumble, the ending sounding like "kiss you too," )
[ Right, that wouldn’t be fair. He wants to kiss Mika - all over now that he’s been given permission - but he wants Mika’s kisses even more.
He’s so greedy for love; like a man parched of it and Mika is his oasis. His love, his love.
He pulls his lips away but keeps his face cradled in Mika’s gentle palm where he could place his heart - and it would be safer than where it is now, in his chest. When he was a child, he’d learned that angels born from God’s breath had done this with Him, grasping His hand like it was their everything, falling asleep as though touching Him soothed their very souls. Maybe it’s instinct from that; maybe that’s why he’s just a little obsessed with Mika’s hands.
( He cups Ginger's face in his palm as Ginger presses into it, thumbing the corner of his kind, warm lips so gently. Oh, no, he shouldn't have said that, because now he has way too much choice. "Where you want"? When he's a professional at denying his desires? )
... Just looking at you is more than enough.
( So the rest of this is indulgence of the highest order. If he had to list out his sins, there would probably be these, and he hadn't even done anything yet - though he brings his face close; tentatively closer. Where does he begin - and where should he end, if he isn't sure he even wants to?
The first kiss comes, finally, to Ginger's hair - pressing it to his head carefully, like he doesn't want Ginger to miss it. He brushes his other hand through Ginger's fringes, so, without lifting his lips much at all, he can sink down and press a kiss to his temple; then, just beside his eye.
The way he feeds and teeths and kisses at a wound - is carnal, and needy; but this is flustered and unsure and lingering and thoughtful, like he's saying something that's hard to say, embarrassing to say, but that he really means, that he really wants to choose his words carefully for.
Mumbling, still, but audible enough: )
... I'm thinking about all the parts of you I like.
( Ginger's soft hair, the way Ginger thinks so much of him, the way his eyes shine so bright when he smiles... even Mika thinks it's a bit corny - but he has to structure this somehow, or he'll end up thinking way too much about this. )
[ He waits patiently for Mika’s love, eves fluttering when the kiss by his eye lands. Lost in the moment, he can’t remember which one it is.
(Does Mika have a favorite? He wouldn’t like Ginger wondering that… but anyone would want to be their best self for the person they love. ) ]
… You’re so cute. Mika.
[ Mika. Mine, my love, love you.
He likes this a lot. Mika manages to be so unbelievably charming when he’s a little clumsy with his feelings, but so earnest, so cute. From the top of his head to the tip of his toes, he endears himself to Ginger’s heart. Again and again.
Giving Mika time to think and decide also lets Ginger reflect - he thinks he might be - … in lust, somewhat, with a lot of love to amplify the feeling. His body says at least that much, gently throbbing under the kisses. But gazing at the other now, he feels the stirrings of - that maybe he’s one step from - or he could already be a little in lo-…. ]
… Is it more than the parts of you I like?
[ The yet undiscovered parts of Mika are his, too, so he’ll love them, he’s sure. It’s just a matter of how? When? ]
I don’t know if… just now… is enough. Should we do this all night? [ Love into the morning light. ] Let’s kiss all night.
( All night... jeez, that's embarrassing; almost as embarrassing as the way Ginger calls him cute after that cheesy display (it's enough to redden the tips of his ears, still half-hidden by his hair).
Still - a whole night's worth of love? There's no way Ginger can have that much love for him - and what if Mika falls short, disappoints him?
But Ginger just looks so... happy, expectant - Mika falters in his own hesitation. How can he tell him no when Ginger is so eager, so easy to adore? And maybe that's what he likes about Ginger, too. That he's so much, that sometimes it's enough to make even Mika look past his trepidation, and certainty of failure. )
... There's so many parts of you I like, a whole night won't be enough to get through it all. But... we can try.
( Big words, but playful words, mostly - the sort of teasing he doesn't do so much with anyone these days, but Ginger.
But breaking into ease like this does - help him notice something his senses have long since picked up, that he's just not been paying attention to because he's been thinking so hard about all these new dimensions of intimacy and touch.
He strokes the side of Ginger's face... )
... Will you be okay? ( Face still close, expression wreathed in affection and concern. ) ... Do you want me to ignore it?
( He doesn't know how he feels about that, but the question is sincere. He wants... to know about Ginger's comfort first - before elbowing in with his own mislaid thoughts that may be nowhere near close to the mark of what Ginger really needs, like he did last time. )
[ When it comes to how much he adores Mika, his face is like an open book. It’s in way his smile grows little by little and the blues of his eyes become warmer and warmer by impossible degrees. In the way he tracks Mika’s lips, his blush, his eyes and looks like he badly wants to kiss him again for every new face he makes - because he does. ]
A whole night to start?
[ … is what he teases back with, light and cheeky.
And it’s cute, it’s fun - but there is the elephant in the room (approx, relative) which was going to be brought up sooner or later. No one ever ignores that. Ginger keeps his smile as it gentles into something quieter. ]
I’m okay. I can ignore it tonight, mostly. I won’t lie and say - I - I’ve never imagined your touch. [ Or more, always brief, shameful flashes. ] It’s important to me that…. I never make you uncomfortable with it. You shouldn’t be made for feel… like you have to do anything about it. So you can ignore it.
( Ugh... Ginger's so cute... He might not want to be called cute, but he is... )
... A whole night to start.
( Hehe,
As for the rest... He's imagined it??? That's surprising - is it flattering? He thinks it's probably a good thing, from Ginger. Especially considering he's so sentimental about who he does it with...
In thinking that, he realizes - maybe it's just his imagination? - that Ginger seems a lot less closed off about the possibility of trying it, with Mika. He thinks, anyway, and if his heart had pulse, he thinks it'd skip a beat.
... )
... It is a lot.
( He'll agree. Because he thinks Ginger does want to hear how he really feels, and he feels a lot. He lifts his hand at Ginger's cheek to run it through his hair, brushing back his hair from his eyes. )
... But I also want to think about it, too. Um— not because I think I have to, or anything. ( As much as he worries about Ginger dealing with it potentially all night. Do either of them need to sleep? ) The last time we talked about it, I thought about... how I'd really rather you do this kind of thing with someone that... You know— that it'd make you happy to...
( you know...!!!
Ginger's happiness is tantamount. If convenience would make him unhappy, then... Mika is torn on whether he'd really want Ginger to do it. But he thinks he wouldn't. Not for something so intimate, something that could be so upsetting. )
... But, um, like... I really do like kissing you. And I think I do want to... try a lot more things with you. Things I haven't done before. So... if it's fine... I'll think about it... I want to. For eventually. As long as you don't mind waiting. And only as long as you'd... like to, too.
( Going from chaste kissing to sex might be a bit ambitious, but he'd like to figure out... all the steps in between with Ginger, if Ginger's willing to try it all with him. )
[ Eventually is a lot more hopeful than never. Never is still on the table, and Ginger would be fine - honest, fine with never letting that side of him have more than a rough time with his own hand, alone, in private. He can handle that - at least that if he ever wants a love like his parents’.
It helps more than Mika probably realizes that he seems to accept Ginger as he is. Even when Ginger had made him frown, had frustrated him some, there was still affection - a willingness to stay by Ginger. There was… love.
And it had been a lesson: don’t act like he’s listening to Mika if he’s not going to actually listen. Good intentions aside, it doesn’t count if he isn’t seriously considering Mika’s opinions. Mika is leagues smarter than Ginger. ]
I’ll wait. [ He leans in, catching his lips for another kiss, another reminder that love is offered freely. ] I’ll be okay with never, too. But eventually sounds… exciting… if it’s with you.
I want to peel you back and see all of you, so there’s more for me to discover and love. If - that makes sense?
( Ginger's kiss and his words are enough to fluster him pink, get him wondering all over again - has anyone loved him like this - so much - before? Would anyone, could anyone? It's embarrassing. It's overwhelming. It's syrupy and sweet, better nectar than his blood is, and
he really, really likes him, he thinks. Not because Ginger likes him so much - but because Ginger is made of love, as Mika suspected, and he - he thinks that ... if Ginger would call Mika his love, Ginger must be... )
... My heart.
( Half said like a thought said aloud, slipped from his lips like a murmured daydream, without real and proper context. )
... I think you'll find it, if you'll dig deep enough down. And I... think I want to let you.
( Peel back the layers, if you want; find where he's vulnerable and sick, and he will hope Ginger loves these things, too. Because surely, he couldn't have such vibrant emotion without Ginger, and if feeling is what Ginger wants to find, he'll find his handiwork there.
He just hopes... Ginger will like all the things that he sees - the things he's affected in Mika, mixed in with the traces of the other people who have touched him. He could worry over it later; right now, he's a little on cloud nine, a little bit intoxicated on this shade of feeling Ginger provokes in him, in itself exciting and new. Family, but more? Or... maybe something - a little different... he thinks. )
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no subject
Yes, the childish part of his heart wants these things Ginger offers - but he knows better than to lend it ear. That part of him is what killed his family. That part of him is what almost took Yuu-chan away from all those humans who... could look after him far better than Mika could. Don't ask for a lot - don't hope for a lot - don't need very much at all. He'll be the temperance between them if Ginger doesn't know when to pump the breaks when it comes to things that might put Ginger at risk. And they'll find a way to manage, somehow. )
... I will. ( Tell him if he likes or dislikes what Ginger does. ) And I'll... choose you too. Every single time.
( In what ways? He's still figuring that out, but he knows he isn't subtle when he has someone to devote himself to.
Still, he can't say what it is, but something about Ginger's lips to his knuckles - lips to his palm - Ginger's eyes clear and fixed on his - warms his cheeks.
Does he want to know if Mika loves this, too? Mika has insisted on his own honesty, and it's something he wants to keep to now. He thinks... Ginger will hear him out, whatever he says. And that makes it easier to speak, where he'd hesitated with Ginger before.
He swallows, fingers curling in light against Ginger's face. )
... Um... I... do like this.
no subject
Being kissed?
[ Here? his lips ask against Mika’s palm, the ending of the question another kiss. Another one at the base of his palm, lips closing over the rounded edge. And here? ]
My love…
[ Mika is his sweetest love. Every small taste of his essence winds Ginger tighter, harder - but he thinks, he thinks it’s fine. He doesn’t need release. He thinks he likes being a step closer to the edge each time, but never tipping - because he’d fall alone. Mika doesn’t experience release, does he? Mika falls in a different way.
No, Ginger would rather - if they could - together. Something… together. Until then -
(He’s watching, waiting. Tell him no. If not… )
A short trail marked by breath to where his pulse should be. His lips open like a bite - like a taste - and catch on skin. ]
I think… I understand - a little - what you mean when you say you like my blood. Should I… kiss you all over from now on? Would you like that?
no subject
There are so, so many people deserving of love - so many people who need it. Mika knows he doesn't deserve this; doesn't deserve - someone calling him their love, with all the affection so heavy in their chest he near mistakes their heart's beat for his own. But he takes this anyway, and this is the amount of selfishness - his childish desire - he'll allow himself.
Because he likes Ginger that much. Because these feelings are enthralling and new. Because Ginger would call him his love, when surely no one else would dare - when Ginger is his...
He exhales soft, breath warm, as Ginger's teeth scrape his skin. But he thinks he... doesn't dislike it. )
... Yeah. I— maybe. I think so.
( There's an expectant spark in his affectionate gaze, even as he funbles through all this. This is so new to him, and he's self-conscious, but he's... excited? Like a teen locked in a closet for seven minutes in heaven for the first time, even if this is nowhere near as much.
He's unsure, yes, but he kind of wants to find out. )
... But if you spend too long on it... I won't get to...
( His voice drops to a mumble, the ending sounding like "kiss you too," )
no subject
He’s so greedy for love; like a man parched of it and Mika is his oasis. His love, his love.
He pulls his lips away but keeps his face cradled in Mika’s gentle palm where he could place his heart - and it would be safer than where it is now, in his chest. When he was a child, he’d learned that angels born from God’s breath had done this with Him, grasping His hand like it was their everything, falling asleep as though touching Him soothed their very souls. Maybe it’s instinct from that; maybe that’s why he’s just a little obsessed with Mika’s hands.
(And his mouth, and his cheeks, and his eyes.) ]
Mm… you can. Kiss me where you want.
no subject
... Just looking at you is more than enough.
( So the rest of this is indulgence of the highest order. If he had to list out his sins, there would probably be these, and he hadn't even done anything yet - though he brings his face close; tentatively closer. Where does he begin - and where should he end, if he isn't sure he even wants to?
The first kiss comes, finally, to Ginger's hair - pressing it to his head carefully, like he doesn't want Ginger to miss it. He brushes his other hand through Ginger's fringes, so, without lifting his lips much at all, he can sink down and press a kiss to his temple; then, just beside his eye.
The way he feeds and teeths and kisses at a wound - is carnal, and needy; but this is flustered and unsure and lingering and thoughtful, like he's saying something that's hard to say, embarrassing to say, but that he really means, that he really wants to choose his words carefully for.
Mumbling, still, but audible enough: )
... I'm thinking about all the parts of you I like.
( Ginger's soft hair, the way Ginger thinks so much of him, the way his eyes shine so bright when he smiles... even Mika thinks it's a bit corny - but he has to structure this somehow, or he'll end up thinking way too much about this. )
no subject
(Does Mika have a favorite? He wouldn’t like Ginger wondering that… but anyone would want to be their best self for the person they love. ) ]
… You’re so cute. Mika.
[ Mika. Mine, my love, love you.
He likes this a lot. Mika manages to be so unbelievably charming when he’s a little clumsy with his feelings, but so earnest, so cute. From the top of his head to the tip of his toes, he endears himself to Ginger’s heart. Again and again.
Giving Mika time to think and decide also lets Ginger reflect - he thinks he might be - … in lust, somewhat, with a lot of love to amplify the feeling. His body says at least that much, gently throbbing under the kisses. But gazing at the other now, he feels the stirrings of - that maybe he’s one step from - or he could already be a little in lo-…. ]
… Is it more than the parts of you I like?
[ The yet undiscovered parts of Mika are his, too, so he’ll love them, he’s sure. It’s just a matter of how? When? ]
I don’t know if… just now… is enough. Should we do this all night? [ Love into the morning light. ] Let’s kiss all night.
no subject
Still - a whole night's worth of love? There's no way Ginger can have that much love for him - and what if Mika falls short, disappoints him?
But Ginger just looks so... happy, expectant - Mika falters in his own hesitation. How can he tell him no when Ginger is so eager, so easy to adore? And maybe that's what he likes about Ginger, too. That he's so much, that sometimes it's enough to make even Mika look past his trepidation, and certainty of failure. )
... There's so many parts of you I like, a whole night won't be enough to get through it all. But... we can try.
( Big words, but playful words, mostly - the sort of teasing he doesn't do so much with anyone these days, but Ginger.
But breaking into ease like this does - help him notice something his senses have long since picked up, that he's just not been paying attention to because he's been thinking so hard about all these new dimensions of intimacy and touch.
He strokes the side of Ginger's face... )
... Will you be okay? ( Face still close, expression wreathed in affection and concern. ) ... Do you want me to ignore it?
( He doesn't know how he feels about that, but the question is sincere. He wants... to know about Ginger's comfort first - before elbowing in with his own mislaid thoughts that may be nowhere near close to the mark of what Ginger really needs, like he did last time. )
no subject
A whole night to start?
[ … is what he teases back with, light and cheeky.
And it’s cute, it’s fun - but there is the elephant in the room (approx, relative) which was going to be brought up sooner or later. No one ever ignores that. Ginger keeps his smile as it gentles into something quieter. ]
I’m okay. I can ignore it tonight, mostly. I won’t lie and say - I - I’ve never imagined your touch. [ Or more, always brief, shameful flashes. ] It’s important to me that…. I never make you uncomfortable with it. You shouldn’t be made for feel… like you have to do anything about it. So you can ignore it.
Tonight is… already a lot for you, isn’t it?
no subject
... A whole night to start.
( Hehe,
As for the rest... He's imagined it??? That's surprising - is it flattering? He thinks it's probably a good thing, from Ginger. Especially considering he's so sentimental about who he does it with...
In thinking that, he realizes - maybe it's just his imagination? - that Ginger seems a lot less closed off about the possibility of trying it, with Mika. He thinks, anyway, and if his heart had pulse, he thinks it'd skip a beat.
... )
... It is a lot.
( He'll agree. Because he thinks Ginger does want to hear how he really feels, and he feels a lot. He lifts his hand at Ginger's cheek to run it through his hair, brushing back his hair from his eyes. )
... But I also want to think about it, too. Um— not because I think I have to, or anything. ( As much as he worries about Ginger dealing with it potentially all night. Do either of them need to sleep? ) The last time we talked about it, I thought about... how I'd really rather you do this kind of thing with someone that... You know— that it'd make you happy to...
( you know...!!!
Ginger's happiness is tantamount. If convenience would make him unhappy, then... Mika is torn on whether he'd really want Ginger to do it. But he thinks he wouldn't. Not for something so intimate, something that could be so upsetting. )
... But, um, like... I really do like kissing you. And I think I do want to... try a lot more things with you. Things I haven't done before. So... if it's fine... I'll think about it... I want to. For eventually. As long as you don't mind waiting. And only as long as you'd... like to, too.
( Going from chaste kissing to sex might be a bit ambitious, but he'd like to figure out... all the steps in between with Ginger, if Ginger's willing to try it all with him. )
no subject
It helps more than Mika probably realizes that he seems to accept Ginger as he is. Even when Ginger had made him frown, had frustrated him some, there was still affection - a willingness to stay by Ginger. There was… love.
And it had been a lesson: don’t act like he’s listening to Mika if he’s not going to actually listen. Good intentions aside, it doesn’t count if he isn’t seriously considering Mika’s opinions. Mika is leagues smarter than Ginger. ]
I’ll wait. [ He leans in, catching his lips for another kiss, another reminder that love is offered freely. ] I’ll be okay with never, too. But eventually sounds… exciting… if it’s with you.
I want to peel you back and see all of you, so there’s more for me to discover and love. If - that makes sense?
no subject
he really, really likes him, he thinks. Not because Ginger likes him so much - but because Ginger is made of love, as Mika suspected, and he - he thinks that ... if Ginger would call Mika his love, Ginger must be... )
... My heart.
( Half said like a thought said aloud, slipped from his lips like a murmured daydream, without real and proper context. )
... I think you'll find it, if you'll dig deep enough down. And I... think I want to let you.
( Peel back the layers, if you want; find where he's vulnerable and sick, and he will hope Ginger loves these things, too. Because surely, he couldn't have such vibrant emotion without Ginger, and if feeling is what Ginger wants to find, he'll find his handiwork there.
He just hopes... Ginger will like all the things that he sees - the things he's affected in Mika, mixed in with the traces of the other people who have touched him. He could worry over it later; right now, he's a little on cloud nine, a little bit intoxicated on this shade of feeling Ginger provokes in him, in itself exciting and new. Family, but more? Or... maybe something - a little different... he thinks. )