Yeah. I think right now, I'm the only one who remembers everything about "me", 'cause it's my life. [ Everything his Sidereal colleagues might know about his life before...is either whatever bits he's told them, or that they've gleaned through talking with him. Or whatever was in that file Mirror compiled before she came to fetch him, apparently. ]
"Day" is... [ ...Damn, he probably has to explain something else first for this make sense. ] The reason why I can't stay in people's memories is 'cause my fate is hidden from the world, yeah? Same goes for the rest of us in the bureau. So the world won't acknowledge me, 'less I'm right there and they're forced to. And as soon as I'm not, out of sight, out of memory.
It makes our work difficult, so we have to work 'round it somehow. "Joyous Day"...is an identity I wove from the stars. A Resplendent Destiny that represents a role that the world will acknowledge me as. Kinda like slottin' myself in the world's destiny, even if it can't really be "me".
[ A beat. ]
Mighta made the mistake of makin' "Day" a lot like my old life. [ You know, the thing every senior Sidereal has told him to proceed with caution about? ]
No, I'm glad you did. I like "Day" and I probably would have liked the old you, too - but... is there... really that much of a difference between those parts of you? They're still... you.
[ Day is what Ginger will be calling him until he's asked otherwise. ]
The thing I'm confused about is... how could your fate be hidden when you don't exist in singularity...? Once you interact with another being, your paths have crossed and your fate has touched theirs. Erasing their memories of you... affect more than just you. Even for a being like me - especially for a being like me, actually.
Here, especially? ...Nah. I can't even feel the destiny on my shoulders, so I ain't obliged to stay "in character". I just asked everyone to call me Day 'cause that's who I was bein' right 'fore I showed up. [ And at the time, he figured it was going to be business as usual.
But at the second part, Day sort of just...laughs. It's a very dry laugh that could be interpreted as bitter, or even self-depreciative. ]
See, there's somethin' funny 'bout that. You would think it works that way, but what happens is—they forget me, but not the stuff I did. So there's just a bunch of gaps and wrinkles where there are things that matter to them but they can't remember who it was from, yeah? People are real good at tryin' to fill in those holes with whatever makes sense, most of the time. Fate helps iron stuff out. It ain't like I cease to exist in the world, more like whatever's left behind gets assigned to something else.
[ Which...maybe some things will take on a different light or make a different kind of sense to Ginger now, with that explanation. Day isn't sure. ]
...How do angels and demons die? [ Why does he feel like he is not going to enjoy this answer, ]
When… we live so long that the years don’t count for much, what else marks pivotal changes in our existence but memories. These important moments mark our growth in eternity, they shape us. When we lose them, we… unravel.
[ And it starts small, your fingers first maybe - a little more transparent than the day before. Until… ]
We can also die through injuries, but we’re not involved in any more wars, so that’s less likely.
[ Day listens to Ginger and you can practically hear him drop the metaphorical beat at the mention of memories, especially as the explanation continues. And there's this look in his eyes of someone who's suddenly having to do a bunch of social math, if you will, weighing a bunch of thoughts in his head against each other before trying to voice any of them.
(They are, probably, still holding hands, so this is also probably going to look quite silly in a bit.)
The fact that Ginger brought this up concerning how Day can't stay in memories is relevant, probably. Probably? He doesn't like it one bit. And this isn't a problem of whether or not Day matters enough, at least from Day's point of view, it's just—it feels so arrogant to assume he might be so important that he could change someone in such a way. He's been in and out of enough people's lives to know that even if he's changed their lives a little, it's not the same as being something they'd want to hold onto or being a mark (or scar) that stays. It's not a matter of self-depreciation or anything, it's just how life and people work. Maybe worrying over this is just selfish of him, the forget-me-not heart wanting to be self-centered enough to think he's that important to someone.
But he—he has to ask this. Because if there's even a 1% possibility, a certain priority is going to be moved to the top of the list, immediately. ]
Ginger, I... don't take this the wrong way— [ Gods he must be nervous to have to preface with this line, but he's already said it. ] —but are you sayin' that if you forget me, you might die?
[ He should have said something earlier but… He sighs, part frustrated at himself, but mostly… apologetic. His hand tightens around Day’s. ]
It’s so rare, that I didn’t even think to bring it up - before. It’s not that I forgot, obviously. Just… You know. I still should have said something earlier.
[ He can’t remember the last angel or demon who died in such a way. That’s how rare. ]
But… yeah… that’s what I’m saying. At the very least, forgetting you will change me in some way.
[ He squeezes Ginger's hand back, carefully, then he tries to rub his thumb against it, like Ginger had done for him earlier. ]
I ain't mad or blamin' you, for the record. What were the chances of you meetin' some guy who's fated to be forgotten by the world? [ Said dryly, in the kind of tone of someone who just knows that somewhere, fate is laughing. If the stakes involved weren't "Ginger's life", he'd find this ironically funny. ] If anythin', I wouldn't be surprised if you got mad with me instead. [ Because through sheer accident, Ginger's crossed paths with someone who's a potential threat to his life just by existing as is. ]
...I do have some— [ he can't really call it good news yet, he guesses, ] —better news. That I was gonna tell you anyway, but this kinda makes it more relevant. [ Funny how things turn out. ]
[ A beat. ]
And a kinda messed up thought, but maybe one you'd get, 'cause of the whole possessiveness. [ Which is something he's willing to voice only because he trusts Ginger, and hopes Ginger trusts back about as much. ]
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no subject
"Day" is... [ ...Damn, he probably has to explain something else first for this make sense. ] The reason why I can't stay in people's memories is 'cause my fate is hidden from the world, yeah? Same goes for the rest of us in the bureau. So the world won't acknowledge me, 'less I'm right there and they're forced to. And as soon as I'm not, out of sight, out of memory.
It makes our work difficult, so we have to work 'round it somehow. "Joyous Day"...is an identity I wove from the stars. A Resplendent Destiny that represents a role that the world will acknowledge me as. Kinda like slottin' myself in the world's destiny, even if it can't really be "me".
[ A beat. ]
Mighta made the mistake of makin' "Day" a lot like my old life. [ You know, the thing every senior Sidereal has told him to proceed with caution about? ]
no subject
[ Day is what Ginger will be calling him until he's asked otherwise. ]
The thing I'm confused about is... how could your fate be hidden when you don't exist in singularity...? Once you interact with another being, your paths have crossed and your fate has touched theirs. Erasing their memories of you... affect more than just you. Even for a being like me - especially for a being like me, actually.
Do you know how angels and demons die?
no subject
But at the second part, Day sort of just...laughs. It's a very dry laugh that could be interpreted as bitter, or even self-depreciative. ]
See, there's somethin' funny 'bout that. You would think it works that way, but what happens is—they forget me, but not the stuff I did. So there's just a bunch of gaps and wrinkles where there are things that matter to them but they can't remember who it was from, yeah? People are real good at tryin' to fill in those holes with whatever makes sense, most of the time. Fate helps iron stuff out. It ain't like I cease to exist in the world, more like whatever's left behind gets assigned to something else.
[ Which...maybe some things will take on a different light or make a different kind of sense to Ginger now, with that explanation. Day isn't sure. ]
...How do angels and demons die? [ Why does he feel like he is not going to enjoy this answer, ]
no subject
When… we live so long that the years don’t count for much, what else marks pivotal changes in our existence but memories. These important moments mark our growth in eternity, they shape us. When we lose them, we… unravel.
[ And it starts small, your fingers first maybe - a little more transparent than the day before. Until… ]
We can also die through injuries, but we’re not involved in any more wars, so that’s less likely.
no subject
(They are, probably, still holding hands, so this is also probably going to look quite silly in a bit.)
The fact that Ginger brought this up concerning how Day can't stay in memories is relevant, probably. Probably? He doesn't like it one bit. And this isn't a problem of whether or not Day matters enough, at least from Day's point of view, it's just—it feels so arrogant to assume he might be so important that he could change someone in such a way. He's been in and out of enough people's lives to know that even if he's changed their lives a little, it's not the same as being something they'd want to hold onto or being a mark (or scar) that stays. It's not a matter of self-depreciation or anything, it's just how life and people work. Maybe worrying over this is just selfish of him, the forget-me-not heart wanting to be self-centered enough to think he's that important to someone.
But he—he has to ask this. Because if there's even a 1% possibility, a certain priority is going to be moved to the top of the list, immediately. ]
Ginger, I... don't take this the wrong way— [ Gods he must be nervous to have to preface with this line, but he's already said it. ] —but are you sayin' that if you forget me, you might die?
no subject
[ He should have said something earlier but… He sighs, part frustrated at himself, but mostly… apologetic. His hand tightens around Day’s. ]
It’s so rare, that I didn’t even think to bring it up - before. It’s not that I forgot, obviously. Just… You know. I still should have said something earlier.
[ He can’t remember the last angel or demon who died in such a way. That’s how rare. ]
But… yeah… that’s what I’m saying. At the very least, forgetting you will change me in some way.
no subject
I ain't mad or blamin' you, for the record. What were the chances of you meetin' some guy who's fated to be forgotten by the world? [ Said dryly, in the kind of tone of someone who just knows that somewhere, fate is laughing. If the stakes involved weren't "Ginger's life", he'd find this ironically funny. ] If anythin', I wouldn't be surprised if you got mad with me instead. [ Because through sheer accident, Ginger's crossed paths with someone who's a potential threat to his life just by existing as is. ]
...I do have some— [ he can't really call it good news yet, he guesses, ] —better news. That I was gonna tell you anyway, but this kinda makes it more relevant. [ Funny how things turn out. ]
[ A beat. ]
And a kinda messed up thought, but maybe one you'd get, 'cause of the whole possessiveness. [ Which is something he's willing to voice only because he trusts Ginger, and hopes Ginger trusts back about as much. ]