[For some reason, that both warms his heart (Ginger is paying attention to him) and mildly terrifies him, bringing to mind the best and worst parts of working in the division full of socially savvy people. But at least Ginger is just one person. ]
"Once, there was a maiden… ...who fled a shadow, in the company of a friend. They traveled through strange places, and among strange people. 'How can you trust me,' he asked, 'with such horror behind you?' 'Love endures,' she said."
[ So he said it was scripture, but it's also a poem? One which he recites from memory without hesitation. ]
[ But also complicated in the way all scriptures are. Is love the trust they share or the shadow that chases them - enduring the distance, the years? ]
[ That's the beauty of all the maiden poems, Day supposes. Even Sidereals get into debates about what they mean, and they're the ones working for the Maidens, with their blessing. ]
I just think it's got a good point. [ That's his honest answer. "Love endures" has been like a mantra in his heart, from the day he had to memorize it during bureau training. Ironically, he doesn't borrow much from the Pillar otherwise. ] All the constellations have a poem associated with them, though this one ain't the Ewer's.
[ It would be nice if that was true for everyone—that it isn't the case is why he has a job to do, among other reasons.
Day doesn't answer for a long moment, like he's trying to decide how to answer. Does Ginger mean whether he wants a love that endures for him, or for his love to endure? If it's the former, it's hard for him to imagine right now. Maybe one day, he might feel that way for a Sidereal colleague and it'll be reciprocated, a shared understanding of things gained from and lost to fate. But right now, he's not really hoping one way or another.
If it's the latter, it's what he's been holding onto for the past five years since that fateful day. Not something he hopes for, but something that must be pried from his cold fingers, or else... It would have been too difficult. It would still be too difficult.
Both are such lonely answers, and he doesn't want to dampen Ginger's spirits, so he says: ]
[ He reaches out - and after a beat where he seems to hesitate, he pushes a drop of sugar into Day’s smiling mouth. A little sweetness to curb the loneliness. ]
You could always share. [ You know, with people besides him.
But okay, the complaint was filed, so he can now properly answer Ginger's request. ]
"Once, there was a maiden… ...who was driven from her land. Great black stags chased after her, and their eyes shone blue. Monsters scrambled after her through the bush, though they found her not. Stumbling on a log, she fell, and thought to surrender and end the torment of the hunt, but then she stood, and stuck out her tongue at the dark woods behind her. 'Love is smiling at your troubles,' she said."
[ The common interpretation is that it isn't all necessarily the same maiden. That she's allegorical, even, but considering their patron goddesses are the Maidens... who knows? ]
Heh, plenty of people in the bureau get into debates about what that's supposed to mean. [ After all, blue is the colour of Venus and her Chosen, which includes Day. ] What made you say starlight, though? [ He's curious. If a bit of that connection still lingers here, he'd be gratified even if it's just part of the aesthetic. ]
[ It gets a smile from Day, and a low, pleased laugh. ]
Still makes me glad to hear it from you. [ That he can still remind someone of the stars, but also the fact it's Ginger saying this, for some reason. He takes another sip of wine. ] First time's someone compared 'em to the ocean, too.
[ Oh, Ginger. Day really wasn't expecting him to say that. Or maybe he should have, since Ginger was also the one to say people could stand to be a little more selfish. ]
[ For a moment, Day considers downing the rest of his drink so he can use alcohol as an excuse, or to change the topic to something else. Anything else, something that doesn't feel like he's setting himself up for disappointment or, heavens forbid, a broken heart. If he gives too much of "Joyous Day" to someone else, even another celestial, how is it any different from letting them have ████?
Things seem—different here, where it appears arcane fate has no hold over him, but he knows it won't last (and it shouldn't, really). He won't forget that keeping ahold of Joyous Day is like catching rain in one's hands; eventually, it will overflow, or slip through one's fingers to disappear into the earth.
But Ginger would notice, and then there'd be no end to it. He can always say that this is what Ginger asked for, anyway. ]
I'll only say it once. [ He must set that limit. Day puts the mug down on the coffee table, then turns to look Ginger in the eye. If he's making an earnest request, then Day should meet it with equal earnestness. ]
Remember me. The way I look, the sound of my voice, the things you like about me, the things you hate about me....the time we spent together, the way I make you feel. Whether you cherish those memories or come to despise them one day.
[ Hold onto me, please.
...But he won't say that. There is a limit to even this selfishness. ]
[ He was mistaken. He did have an answer, but it wasn't for a declaration like this. He shouldn't hide behind his mug, so he sets that down, too. Now's not the time to be a coward, Ginger. ]
Why... does it sound like you're already saying goodbye, Day?
[ And if that's the case... if they really will have to part one day - likely, perhaps even inevitable - will Day say nothing at all then? 'I'll only say it once.'
Ginger hates the idea of that, he realizes. ]
Stupid. Do you think I could ever hate you? [ That spoken under his breath, before he says: ] Let's see... No one looks like you, no one sounds like you. I like pretty much everything about you. There's nothing I hate. I want to spend more time together, but you do make me feel weird because no one acts like you around me. So... of course, I'll cherish these memories.
[ Ginger's reaction suddenly makes Day realise that, perhaps, he had been too intense in interpreting Ginger's request, which is pretty embarrassing. Goodness, what would some of the senior Joybringers think about this faux pas... (They'd be amused, mostly.)
Maybe a part of him had hoped that Ginger would retreat, because at least then he could take it as an out. "Just kidding," and it would be easy to put everything back and out of sight like he hadn't just made an honest admission, mark where the boundary of hope should be so his expectations can be set.
But Ginger just answers him earnestly instead, and he can only go "oh" internally like an idiot. ]
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"Once, there was a maiden…
...who fled a shadow, in the company of a friend.
They traveled through strange places, and among strange people.
'How can you trust me,' he asked, 'with such horror behind you?'
'Love endures,' she said."
[ So he said it was scripture, but it's also a poem? One which he recites from memory without hesitation. ]
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[ But also complicated in the way all scriptures are. Is love the trust they share or the shadow that chases them - enduring the distance, the years? ]
So… are you the question or are you the answer?
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I just think it's got a good point. [ That's his honest answer. "Love endures" has been like a mantra in his heart, from the day he had to memorize it during bureau training. Ironically, he doesn't borrow much from the Pillar otherwise. ] All the constellations have a poem associated with them, though this one ain't the Ewer's.
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[ Ginger thinks love can endure for one person, but that’s terribly sad. Lonely in the worst way. ]
Is that something you hope for yourself one day?
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Day doesn't answer for a long moment, like he's trying to decide how to answer. Does Ginger mean whether he wants a love that endures for him, or for his love to endure? If it's the former, it's hard for him to imagine right now. Maybe one day, he might feel that way for a Sidereal colleague and it'll be reciprocated, a shared understanding of things gained from and lost to fate. But right now, he's not really hoping one way or another.
If it's the latter, it's what he's been holding onto for the past five years since that fateful day. Not something he hopes for, but something that must be pried from his cold fingers, or else... It would have been too difficult. It would still be too difficult.
Both are such lonely answers, and he doesn't want to dampen Ginger's spirits, so he says: ]
I wonder.
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What a lonely answer from a romantic.
[ He reaches out - and after a beat where he seems to hesitate, he pushes a drop of sugar into Day’s smiling mouth. A little sweetness to curb the loneliness. ]
Tell me about the Ewer’s scripture then.
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And then Ginger pops the sugar into his mouth and Day makes a startled noise. ]
!
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You could have warned me.
[ He'll get to the scripture in a moment, he just has to file a complaint first. ]
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Whaaat, you expect me to finish all that by myself?
[ All complaints can go to their mentor who will probably throw it out. ]
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But okay, the complaint was filed, so he can now properly answer Ginger's request. ]
"Once, there was a maiden…
...who was driven from her land.
Great black stags chased after her, and their eyes shone blue.
Monsters scrambled after her through the bush, though they found her not.
Stumbling on a log, she fell, and thought to surrender and end the torment of the hunt, but then she stood, and stuck out her tongue at the dark woods behind her.
'Love is smiling at your troubles,' she said."
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[ He repeats the scripture in his head as he remembers it. Why, then, was she initially driven from her home? Is she the monster called love?
Something else that stands out though: ]
“Their eyes shone blue.” Like yours, like starlight.
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Heh, plenty of people in the bureau get into debates about what that's supposed to mean. [ After all, blue is the colour of Venus and her Chosen, which includes Day. ] What made you say starlight, though? [ He's curious. If a bit of that connection still lingers here, he'd be gratified even if it's just part of the aesthetic. ]
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[ He tilts his head and considers Day’s eyes. ]
Almost like an ocean, but you don’t reflect the sky.
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Still makes me glad to hear it from you. [ That he can still remind someone of the stars, but also the fact it's Ginger saying this, for some reason. He takes another sip of wine. ] First time's someone compared 'em to the ocean, too.
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Really? What do they usually say?
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They’re pretty, but they’re a question. I think you could stand to be a little more demanding.
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In what way?
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He doesn't want to explain it here and now, so he just closes his eyes. ]
Should I start with you, then?
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… Go for it. I already have my answer ready.
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Things seem—different here, where it appears arcane fate has no hold over him, but he knows it won't last (and it shouldn't, really). He won't forget that keeping ahold of Joyous Day is like catching rain in one's hands; eventually, it will overflow, or slip through one's fingers to disappear into the earth.
But Ginger would notice, and then there'd be no end to it. He can always say that this is what Ginger asked for, anyway. ]
I'll only say it once. [ He must set that limit. Day puts the mug down on the coffee table, then turns to look Ginger in the eye. If he's making an earnest request, then Day should meet it with equal earnestness. ]
Remember me. The way I look, the sound of my voice, the things you like about me, the things you hate about me....the time we spent together, the way I make you feel. Whether you cherish those memories or come to despise them one day.
[ Hold onto me, please.
...But he won't say that. There is a limit to even this selfishness. ]
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[ He was mistaken. He did have an answer, but it wasn't for a declaration like this. He shouldn't hide behind his mug, so he sets that down, too. Now's not the time to be a coward, Ginger. ]
Why... does it sound like you're already saying goodbye, Day?
[ And if that's the case... if they really will have to part one day - likely, perhaps even inevitable - will Day say nothing at all then? 'I'll only say it once.'
Ginger hates the idea of that, he realizes. ]
Stupid. Do you think I could ever hate you? [ That spoken under his breath, before he says: ] Let's see... No one looks like you, no one sounds like you. I like pretty much everything about you. There's nothing I hate. I want to spend more time together, but you do make me feel weird because no one acts like you around me. So... of course, I'll cherish these memories.
1/2
Maybe a part of him had hoped that Ginger would retreat, because at least then he could take it as an out. "Just kidding," and it would be easy to put everything back and out of sight like he hadn't just made an honest admission, mark where the boundary of hope should be so his expectations can be set.
But Ginger just answers him earnestly instead, and he can only go "oh" internally like an idiot. ]
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