Trust me, there is no need to apologize. I have had associates who were reticent, and one who I believe would react the same were I to try to take a photo of him.
[ All the same, getting too caught up in the moment? Jing Yuan understands that; one might forget their anxieties, until it's brought to the forefront, before their very eyes.
He is glad, in that case, he didn't exactly go ahead and snap the photo; he isn't an impetuous person by nature. But, it serves him well here.
Instead, he decides to change the direction of the cellphone, so that it isn't pointing at Tatara (and by extension, himself.) He isn't disappointed, and instead offers the other an easy, welcome smile. ]
How about...we set the two slices down near each other and take a picture of that instead? We'll both know what represents, even if our faces aren't exactly in the frame.
[ He chuckles with delight at the suggestion. It's hard not to smile when Jing Yuan smiles at him. ]
That's a way better idea! I like that.
[ Tatara actually reaches to take Jing Yuan's plate, and he arranges both neatly side by side on the table. The clutter around them actually add a nice ambience, and would be perfect for Insta, if that were a thing.
He stands back, looks like he's ready for the other to take a picture, but at the last second, he throws up a peace sign by his piece of cake.
[ Jing Yuan is more than happy to make the other content, so he is glad to see it goes over well. He chuckles when the other man reaches on over to take his plate, because that surprises him just a little, but hey, that's fine. Anyway, he moves in closer, feeling a little...indulgent. Particularly as he looks at him to take in that expression unrepetantly once more, golden eyes darkening and then twinkling with mischief. ]
...Though, it is quite the pity.
I thought the expression you were making a moment ago was quite cute. I would have liked to capture it, as you did mine before.
But, memories are more private, aren't they? And they can linger, long after machinery have been discarded. I shall cherish it, like I have each one before it.
[ There's something nice about that too, isn't there? A moment, just to themselves. Then, just like that, he takes a photo of the slices, with that little peace sign in there. Wonderful. ]
Now, let's indulge ourselves. Though, there is something that had been brought to my attention, of a slightly urgent nature. So, while we eat, shall we take to your...hm...
[ ...Oh. Tatara feels Jing Yuan lean in, and he turns to look up at him as he reaches to take their cake back. He hands the other's serving back, absently, and he...isn't? really sure? what to do with himself? He's never really been called cute before, and his eyes are gold, and he's so close,
He cuts his own shock with a laugh. ]
Aw, c'mon. Stop. You're gonna make me blush. [ He is, in fact, blushing, if the faint pink on his cheeks and ears mean anything.
His eyes drop, briefly, to the cake in his hands. His chest hurts, for reasons he doesn't really understand. The way he talks about memories strikes a chord with him and the way he talks about being cherished makes him feel uncomfortably exposed. It's a...weird feeling. And he can't decide if he likes it or not.
But the topic moves on, and back on his sage hat (figurative) goes. He quickly glances around the room before gesturing to the small, plushy couch at the foot of his bed. ]
You don't mind the couch, do you? [ He wanders over to it, quickly tossing the blanket and pillows over the back and onto the bed. Yes, he normally sleeps on his couch. Yes, his bed is still immaculately made.
The spot appropriate for sitting, he takes to his cushion and settles his plate in his lap. He pats the spot next to him with a smile. Come sit, Jing Yuan! ]
My apologies, but I can't make any guarantees I won't.
[ Cute...so cute...does Tatara remember when he called him that as well? Some might say it lightly, but Jing Yuan does not. They are words tinged with affection.
Jing Yuan feels his resolve to be responsible weakening (not in the sense of evading important conversation), and it makes him question what he's doing. How dangerous. But he remembers how many times he's lost the chance to say what he could to those he cared about. How many people have died, have left him behind, and now...
Now is the time for a normal and calculated response. If he thinks about how when he questions the Trailblazer on Dan Heng's state, he can manage that. And so, with that, he sits next to Tatara. ]
...I don't mind the couch. I hope you don't always use it to sleep, though.
[ Sleeping on the couch is bad for one's back, is the implication. As he is sitting on the couch, he will try to judge the make of it just fine...though he'll also just end up yawning once he does, raising one hand to rub at one eye. He will wait until they've had a few bits of their slices to speak again; he refuses to spoil the painstaking hard work with serious talk until after the flavors have had time to settle. Tatara should find it indeed to his liking, if he is a man who likes such tastes in truth; if he is not, then, well. The results will speak for themselves. ]
Now, I hope I don't spoil the dessert, and I am not a fan of graceless openers. Still, I must ask, in regards to the matters of promises...
Is your preference for us to have the information regarding that spread amongst ourselves, to each other? Or, will you eventually hope to reveal it to everyone next get-together that we have?
[ Tatara is just going to ignore that first statement, because if he dwells on it for more than two seconds, he feels like his brain will fry.
But it doesn't make it any easier when Jing Yuan comes to sit beside him, and Tatara becomes aware of the sheer presence the man exudes. It's, hm. It's familiar, but different. And it's pretty overwhelming.
The sleep remark makes him laugh, and that's all he can really give when he's munching on his cake. He does sleep on the couch. Let him sleep on his comfy couch!
In the midst of the silence of their eating, Tatara does murmur: ]
This is really good... [ Smooth, sweeter than he was expecting. But perfectly red. He loves it. He flashes Jing Yuan a smile, but doesn't let it linger.
He's not totally finished when the business talk starts, and he looks up at the lionesque man with filled cheeks and red crumbs dotting his lips. He stares for a moment, finishes chewing, and then replies.
(He's kind of glad, though, because the room feels a bit cooler now.) ]
I told a few people when it came up in hopes they'd tell others. [ He smiles, cutting of his next bite for his fork. ] But it sounds like people didn't really like that method.
[ He holds his little piece up, on his fork, and faces Jing Yuan again, crumbs everywhere on his face. ] Are you mad?
[ For once, the smile drops from his face, golden eyes set on Tatara's face. Taking in the compliment, the transient smile which is more or less indicative of the other's enjoyment of his efforts. Good, he nearly blew up the kitchen several times even before he enlisted help just practicing his magic. It makes it worth it.
Anyway, with a face like that, he knows exactly what he wants to do, and it is completely impulsive.
It's in this moment he's made a decision that will irrevocably change everything and likely for the worst.
But, first. Business. ]
I wish I was. [ Jing Yuan sighs. He was mad actually when he first got told but he had time to mull over it and that adorable face...he couldn't, even if he tried. ] But, it's for the best to be levelheaded; at most, I am only disappointed. As such, I have some words to grant you.
Knowing important information that is imperative to people's survival demands being disseminated more properly. As a leader, it would be your responsibility to have ensured that everyone is in the know, particularly since it means the ultimate consequence could be death.
If that is how you wish to proceed forward even in the future, there is nothing anyone can do to change it. But, I strongly advise you to at least be ready to grant information in a better-suitable fashion if you wish for everyone to keep their trust in you. The last thing I desire is for it to have any reason to fade to the point of disrepair.
And I have no desire for everyone's lives to be simply rendered to a sudden end. And I mean everyone.
[ Using this as an excuse for him to, in between bites, reach over one of Tatara's hands, the touch gentle, and furtive, to cover it, and turn his head to look at the other. ]
Do you see how well our hands fit together, but are yet so different? [ He's trying to logic this as he's speaking, though his mind is other places. ] You must understand people are the same. The easy way trust can fall apart at its seams. How all can suddenly be at a loss.
You were around a leader yourself. But, life is cruel and hard on us all. And neither single one of us is all-knowing. Yet to be a leader is to be treated as such, to held to a pedestal where barely dare to reach out.
Where, in most people's hearts, they can't see the person for who they are. Where, for the good of all, responsibility rules for reasons of practicality.
Just as you guide us as the Sage, I will hope you allow me to support you as such, and as the person I am beginning to know as Tatara as well...
...That is why...
[ That's it. Jing Yuan can't do this anymore. He gets off of the couch, and he will drop to one knee before Tatara, hopefully with that hand in his (but if the other drew it away, that's fine, he will still roll with things.)
If it is still within his grip, he will give a kiss atop it; it's early and he's going to shoot his shot even if it is strategically unwise. But regardless of the answer, he's hoping they can be amicable; that shouldn't be too difficult to manage. He just knows he needs to say this or he will be distracted and act a fool. ]
I humbly also ask for your permission to properly court you, with no guarantee of the result or your assent. I know I ask this so soon, in a period of turmoil no less, but I have swiftly become quite fond of you, and I have experienced many times nothing is ever so certain to ever leave to chance.
[ Jing Yuan speaks, and the hue in Tatara's expression shifts slightly. He goes from irresponsible 22-year-old to sage—a calm colors his eyes, and he listens, attentive. His own leader, in his past life, wasn't really the sort to take charge, so he thinks about Kusanagi-san, and it kind of makes sense. But they had smartphones and texting and Tatara doesn't know if he'd be able to dissimenate that information with the same speed.
Still, he takes the advice with stride, and nods firmly several times. Noted. He is trying, and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to his wizards. Maybe it's the way the gold of Jing Yuan's eyes hold his attention, he doesn't acknowledge the advice with a flippant "I know, I know," like he would have anyone else.
He would say something, if his mouth weren't full.
He isn't expecting Jing Yuan's hand to come over his, though he doesn't do much beside let his gaze drop to the touch. Being a (literal) human battery has forced him to get used to the contact, and he finds he doesn't really mind it so much. Especially since. well—
His gaze flits back up to his when he hears his name—
And he really isn't expecting Jing Yuan to slip from the couch, to get to one knee. ]
...
[ Tatara's face burns when Jing Yuan's lips meet his hand, and he's as red as the mane of his beloved king. His lips part in surprise, but he makes no noise. ]
[ What a way. What a way to ask this, this one thing Tatara has never really been asked before...?
He feels the warmth of Jing Yuan's hand spread over his own, slowly crawl up his wrist, his arm. He feels his heart beating painfully in his chest and in his ears and he finds it very hard to look away.
Images of a cooler blue flash through his mind, and he feels a twinge of guilt. There's a little voice in the back of his head, one implanted by the idea of being sage that somehow speaks above it all.
He sets aside his plate on the couch and slips to the floor to kneel, like Jing Yuan. There really isn't much space between them, their legs doubtlessly touching, and Tatara is dwarfed by the lion of a man. ]
Jing Yuan.
[ Still. Still. He feels nervous in a way he's never really felt until recently, and there's a slight waver to his voice. ]
I, um... I don't know if I could. [ He forces a little smile, but it's apologetic, and strained. He might not be speaking from the heart. ] I'm the sage, and you're my wizard. I don't know if a relationship is a good idea...
[ He turns his hand over to squeeze Jing Yuan's, and the soft warm hues of his eyes remain fixed on Jing Yuan's gold; he leans forward, as though trying to get a closer look through the windows of his soul. ]
But I... [ There's a swirl of impulses and emotions in him that he has no name for, and he tries to find the words above the deluge. ] I still like you. I still want to hang out with you. And I still think...you're...
[ So, is that what it is? He thinks. But, he continues to speak, more and more, with words that don't make him simply ask him politely to forget he even asked.
It's something, though tentatively he isn't exactly sure how to come towards it. Not at all.
He says he doesn't think it's a good idea, but that he's making him blush. That he still wants to hang out with him, but he thinks he's...he's what? His golden eyes peer back, curious, even after Tatara gaze into his. Jing Yuan knows the man certainly could ever make a choice he doesn't want to, and he has no intentions of being overbearing. So, he treads the waters carefully, to see where it lies. ]
...Would I be wrong in assuming you believe myself to be attractive to you?
[ Jing Yuan asks carefully, leaning in closer, his voice nearer to his ear, purposefully low. It's just the two of them, like this, and with Tatara closer, his mind begins to wander. ]
You say I'm making you blush as well...is it because you like the idea? Is it simply the fact that you are the 'Sage' and I am a 'Wizard' which keeps you from earnestly considering it?
[ Tatara freezes for a brief moment, at that. He's nervous that Jing Yuan can hear his heart beating, with how loud it is. He forgets to breathe when he speaks low into his ear like this, and the one hand grasping his clenches tighter, out of nerves. Jing Yuan is right. Hmm. Mmm. It's hard not to show on his perfectly honest features that the other man is correct. He does find himself drawn to Jing Yuan, and...well. He can usually work around it, professionally. Not when they're so close like this, when Jing Yuan has brought him a cake and told him, on one knee, with a kiss to the hand, that he wants to date him.
He's confused.
He brings up his free hand to his hot, reddened cheek, and he's shocked how cool his regular temperature feels on his face right now. Ahhhh. Aaaaaahhhhhh. ]
I...feel like I should be neutral, I guess. I don't want to be too biased towards—
[ He thinks about Khun and he feels that guilt again.
But he doesn't get to finish his sentence, because Jing Yuan asks him to look at him.
Slowly, his eyes turn to look at him first, and then the rest of his head follows. He stares up at him wide-eyed, and there are still crumbs around his mouth. ]
[ Jing Yuan feels himself relax at that; it isn't that he is uninterested, then. It feels like there is something like a piece of the puzzle connecting to the rest. There is still more missing, apparently more even he cannot yet foresee, nor know, without proper information.
But, he thinks...he wants to see if he can get Tatara to reach for more. To let him in. He can be there by his side, shoulder his burdens, be someone who can allow him to see a new day, if he would let him. That sorrow, that loneliness, that joy, that happiness. He wishes to share it all with him. ]
Mm, I see.
...Bias shall exist, no matter how much you might strive to hold it back. I have no illusions about the scope of how gentle your heart is. But, even I have been able to hold those I care about under my command accountable, and have witnessed glimpses of your strength concealed behind silk. It is not an impossibility.
But, I would like to show you what it might look like for you to indulge, just for a moment, with myself. What I do does not have to bind you to any decision.
So, will you permit me?
[ Like this, he leans even closer, far more than before, watching the other's reaction as he does so. He remembers what he thought when the other looked at him, eyes seeming so innocent, and the silly way those crumbs dotted around his mouth.
And...how much he wanted to kiss him. Care for him, shield him, yet help him flourish, and be his strength.
...If the other man does not turn away, if he does not object to his words, he will carefully go for it. Otherwise, he will certainly back down, no questions. ]
[ A kiss? Tatara's eyes go wide, still, he feels the quickened thrum of his heart in his ears, and he's so, so nervous. It's obvious the way Tatara reacts to the ask, just as it was obvious the way he reacted to the request of courtship. Kiss him? To ask him so forwardly, with such bright and golden eyes—
He thinks of another lion, he sees a flash of blue.
It takes a moment for Tatara to shake himself out of his shock, and it's about when he feels Jing Yuan's breath on him that he leans back, slightly, and shakes his head. Timid, at first, but then firm. ]
Jing Yuan, I—
[ His heart beats painful in his chest, but he isn't sure what it means. ]
I don't think I can. [ Weirdly, there's too much guilt there. Well, not a lot, because this is Tatara, but enough to pull him back. This...really isn't territory he knows well, even.
He dips his head, just in case Jing Yuan's lips eventually find him—they'll find his forehead, instead. ]
I'm sorry. [ He's sheepish, apologetic, and wishing the blush would go away.
[ Jing Yuan doesn't have any issues in pulling back at hearing that (so there will be no kiss happening at all!), and it's with ease that he carefully lets go, not wanting to burden the other so.
Not when it's clear he is this uncomfortable.
He will even stand to his feet. He has more than enough discipline to manage that with ease and grace. ]
No. It is I who should give you my apologies for overstepping.
I hope we can at least still be respectable allies who work towards a mutual goal.
[ Despite everything that just happened in the past moment or so, Jing Yuan doesn't seem bothered at the idea. Though he can't guarantee that will be the same for Tatara, and will be completely understanding if it isn't.
After all, he certainly could have handled that better, even with everything that had happened which might have affected his judgment, his actions are his own. And it is his responsibility to own up to them. ]
[ When Jing Yuan stands, Tatara takes a moment to collect himself. He rubs his hands over his face, trying to soothe the heat on his face with the cool of his hands. Ahh, his heart still beats like crazy, but maybe it'll calm in due time.
He gives a light laugh, one that's still clearly nervous. ]
Me, too. We're in this together. And we're neighbors.
[ He eventually gets to his feet, collects his piece of cake, and then settles into the couch again. With another bright smile, he pats the spot next to him on the couch again. It seems like there are no hard feelings, at least. ]
[ Jing Yuan already has been preparing to calmly make his exit following Tatara's answer, simply because that seemed prudent. As for any nerves himself, he isn't the type to be easily shaken or give into a state of nervousness, for better or worse, though he's surprised the other wants to still talk.
But, very well. If he is certain, he will sit down next to Tatara once more. Since it seems the other isn't too troubled to have him stay for them to discuss whatever other matters there appear to be. Even with being nervous. ]
What did you wish to speak about? I assume there's something on your mind—of a different subject?
[ Tatara's gaze flits up to Jing Yuan as he sits down beside him, then back down to his cake.
He probably still looks like his cake, but. He's not going to not finish eating it.
He carves off another bit. ]
I heard you got hurt in the incident yesterday. [ He puts the bit in his mouth, and looks up at Jing Yuan again. He talks with his mouth full. ] Are you okay?
[ Jing Yuan supposes it's only natural for Tatara to ask about the situation, considering the incident occurred when it did.
Therefore, he accepts the questioning directed his way about his person. So, as Tatara continues to eat, he answers politely and straight to the point on the portion concerning him. He'll continue to eat his slice later. ]
Fortunately, I physically recovered just fine.
[ Moving past himself, though. ]
If you haven't had the chance to see to Mika and Khun, you should. They sustained a good deal of injuries; though, if you already have, mentioning it may as well be a bit moot.
Though, it'd also be good for everyone if nothing like this situation has a repeat.
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Ah...
He sees his own face and is immediately embarrassed. He lifts the cake to partially hide his face from himself, and he peers up at Jing Yuan. ]
Er, sorry... I actually don't really like having my picture taken...
[ Homra's wall of photos containing everyone but him is pretty telling.
He smiles apologetically. ]
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[ All the same, getting too caught up in the moment? Jing Yuan understands that; one might forget their anxieties, until it's brought to the forefront, before their very eyes.
He is glad, in that case, he didn't exactly go ahead and snap the photo; he isn't an impetuous person by nature. But, it serves him well here.
Instead, he decides to change the direction of the cellphone, so that it isn't pointing at Tatara (and by extension, himself.) He isn't disappointed, and instead offers the other an easy, welcome smile. ]
How about...we set the two slices down near each other and take a picture of that instead? We'll both know what represents, even if our faces aren't exactly in the frame.
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That's a way better idea! I like that.
[ Tatara actually reaches to take Jing Yuan's plate, and he arranges both neatly side by side on the table. The clutter around them actually add a nice ambience, and would be perfect for Insta, if that were a thing.
He stands back, looks like he's ready for the other to take a picture, but at the last second, he throws up a peace sign by his piece of cake.
He laughs up at Jing Yuan. ]
Now you can take it!
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...Though, it is quite the pity.
I thought the expression you were making a moment ago was quite cute. I would have liked to capture it, as you did mine before.
But, memories are more private, aren't they? And they can linger, long after machinery have been discarded. I shall cherish it, like I have each one before it.
[ There's something nice about that too, isn't there? A moment, just to themselves. Then, just like that, he takes a photo of the slices, with that little peace sign in there. Wonderful. ]
Now, let's indulge ourselves. Though, there is something that had been brought to my attention, of a slightly urgent nature. So, while we eat, shall we take to your...hm...
[ Is there more than one chair in here? ]
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He cuts his own shock with a laugh. ]
Aw, c'mon. Stop. You're gonna make me blush. [ He is, in fact, blushing, if the faint pink on his cheeks and ears mean anything.
His eyes drop, briefly, to the cake in his hands. His chest hurts, for reasons he doesn't really understand. The way he talks about memories strikes a chord with him and the way he talks about being cherished makes him feel uncomfortably exposed. It's a...weird feeling. And he can't decide if he likes it or not.
But the topic moves on, and back on his sage hat (figurative) goes. He quickly glances around the room before gesturing to the small, plushy couch at the foot of his bed. ]
You don't mind the couch, do you? [ He wanders over to it, quickly tossing the blanket and pillows over the back and onto the bed. Yes, he normally sleeps on his couch. Yes, his bed is still immaculately made.
The spot appropriate for sitting, he takes to his cushion and settles his plate in his lap. He pats the spot next to him with a smile. Come sit, Jing Yuan! ]
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[ Cute...so cute...does Tatara remember when he called him that as well? Some might say it lightly, but Jing Yuan does not. They are words tinged with affection.
Jing Yuan feels his resolve to be responsible weakening (not in the sense of evading important conversation), and it makes him question what he's doing. How dangerous. But he remembers how many times he's lost the chance to say what he could to those he cared about. How many people have died, have left him behind, and now...
Now is the time for a normal and calculated response. If he thinks about how when he questions the Trailblazer on Dan Heng's state, he can manage that. And so, with that, he sits next to Tatara. ]
...I don't mind the couch. I hope you don't always use it to sleep, though.
[ Sleeping on the couch is bad for one's back, is the implication. As he is sitting on the couch, he will try to judge the make of it just fine...though he'll also just end up yawning once he does, raising one hand to rub at one eye. He will wait until they've had a few bits of their slices to speak again; he refuses to spoil the painstaking hard work with serious talk until after the flavors have had time to settle. Tatara should find it indeed to his liking, if he is a man who likes such tastes in truth; if he is not, then, well. The results will speak for themselves. ]
Now, I hope I don't spoil the dessert, and I am not a fan of graceless openers. Still, I must ask, in regards to the matters of promises...
Is your preference for us to have the information regarding that spread amongst ourselves, to each other? Or, will you eventually hope to reveal it to everyone next get-together that we have?
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But it doesn't make it any easier when Jing Yuan comes to sit beside him, and Tatara becomes aware of the sheer presence the man exudes. It's, hm. It's familiar, but different. And it's pretty overwhelming.
The sleep remark makes him laugh, and that's all he can really give when he's munching on his cake. He does sleep on the couch. Let him sleep on his comfy couch!
In the midst of the silence of their eating, Tatara does murmur: ]
This is really good... [ Smooth, sweeter than he was expecting. But perfectly red. He loves it. He flashes Jing Yuan a smile, but doesn't let it linger.
He's not totally finished when the business talk starts, and he looks up at the lionesque man with filled cheeks and red crumbs dotting his lips. He stares for a moment, finishes chewing, and then replies.
(He's kind of glad, though, because the room feels a bit cooler now.) ]
I told a few people when it came up in hopes they'd tell others. [ He smiles, cutting of his next bite for his fork. ] But it sounds like people didn't really like that method.
[ He holds his little piece up, on his fork, and faces Jing Yuan again, crumbs everywhere on his face. ] Are you mad?
1/2 please hold
Anyway, with a face like that, he knows exactly what he wants to do, and it is completely impulsive.
It's in this moment he's made a decision that will irrevocably change everything and likely for the worst.
But, first. Business. ]
I wish I was. [ Jing Yuan sighs. He was mad actually when he first got told but he had time to mull over it and that adorable face...he couldn't, even if he tried. ] But, it's for the best to be levelheaded; at most, I am only disappointed. As such, I have some words to grant you.
Knowing important information that is imperative to people's survival demands being disseminated more properly. As a leader, it would be your responsibility to have ensured that everyone is in the know, particularly since it means the ultimate consequence could be death.
If that is how you wish to proceed forward even in the future, there is nothing anyone can do to change it. But, I strongly advise you to at least be ready to grant information in a better-suitable fashion if you wish for everyone to keep their trust in you. The last thing I desire is for it to have any reason to fade to the point of disrepair.
2/2
[ Using this as an excuse for him to, in between bites, reach over one of Tatara's hands, the touch gentle, and furtive, to cover it, and turn his head to look at the other. ]
Do you see how well our hands fit together, but are yet so different? [ He's trying to logic this as he's speaking, though his mind is other places. ] You must understand people are the same. The easy way trust can fall apart at its seams. How all can suddenly be at a loss.
You were around a leader yourself. But, life is cruel and hard on us all. And neither single one of us is all-knowing. Yet to be a leader is to be treated as such, to held to a pedestal where barely dare to reach out.
Where, in most people's hearts, they can't see the person for who they are. Where, for the good of all, responsibility rules for reasons of practicality.
Just as you guide us as the Sage, I will hope you allow me to support you as such, and as the person I am beginning to know as Tatara as well...
...That is why...
[ That's it. Jing Yuan can't do this anymore. He gets off of the couch, and he will drop to one knee before Tatara, hopefully with that hand in his (but if the other drew it away, that's fine, he will still roll with things.)
If it is still within his grip, he will give a kiss atop it; it's early and he's going to shoot his shot even if it is strategically unwise. But regardless of the answer, he's hoping they can be amicable; that shouldn't be too difficult to manage. He just knows he needs to say this or he will be distracted and act a fool. ]
I humbly also ask for your permission to properly court you, with no guarantee of the result or your assent. I know I ask this so soon, in a period of turmoil no less, but I have swiftly become quite fond of you, and I have experienced many times nothing is ever so certain to ever leave to chance.
1/???
Still, he takes the advice with stride, and nods firmly several times. Noted. He is trying, and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to his wizards. Maybe it's the way the gold of Jing Yuan's eyes hold his attention, he doesn't acknowledge the advice with a flippant "I know, I know," like he would have anyone else.
He would say something, if his mouth weren't full.
He isn't expecting Jing Yuan's hand to come over his, though he doesn't do much beside let his gaze drop to the touch. Being a (literal) human battery has forced him to get used to the contact, and he finds he doesn't really mind it so much. Especially since. well—
His gaze flits back up to his when he hears his name—
And he really isn't expecting Jing Yuan to slip from the couch, to get to one knee. ]
...
[ Tatara's face burns when Jing Yuan's lips meet his hand, and he's as red as the mane of his beloved king. His lips part in surprise, but he makes no noise. ]
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He feels the warmth of Jing Yuan's hand spread over his own, slowly crawl up his wrist, his arm. He feels his heart beating painfully in his chest and in his ears and he finds it very hard to look away.
Images of a cooler blue flash through his mind, and he feels a twinge of guilt. There's a little voice in the back of his head, one implanted by the idea of being sage that somehow speaks above it all.
done
Jing Yuan.
[ Still. Still. He feels nervous in a way he's never really felt until recently, and there's a slight waver to his voice. ]
I, um... I don't know if I could. [ He forces a little smile, but it's apologetic, and strained. He might not be speaking from the heart. ] I'm the sage, and you're my wizard. I don't know if a relationship is a good idea...
[ He turns his hand over to squeeze Jing Yuan's, and the soft warm hues of his eyes remain fixed on Jing Yuan's gold; he leans forward, as though trying to get a closer look through the windows of his soul. ]
But I... [ There's a swirl of impulses and emotions in him that he has no name for, and he tries to find the words above the deluge. ] I still like you. I still want to hang out with you. And I still think...you're...
[ ...
He laughs, and looks away. ]
See? You're making me blush.
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It's something, though tentatively he isn't exactly sure how to come towards it. Not at all.
He says he doesn't think it's a good idea, but that he's making him blush. That he still wants to hang out with him, but he thinks he's...he's what? His golden eyes peer back, curious, even after Tatara gaze into his. Jing Yuan knows the man certainly could ever make a choice he doesn't want to, and he has no intentions of being overbearing. So, he treads the waters carefully, to see where it lies. ]
...Would I be wrong in assuming you believe myself to be attractive to you?
[ Jing Yuan asks carefully, leaning in closer, his voice nearer to his ear, purposefully low. It's just the two of them, like this, and with Tatara closer, his mind begins to wander. ]
You say I'm making you blush as well...is it because you like the idea? Is it simply the fact that you are the 'Sage' and I am a 'Wizard' which keeps you from earnestly considering it?
[ Then, pulling back, he asks, gently: ]
Will you look at me?
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He's confused.
He brings up his free hand to his hot, reddened cheek, and he's shocked how cool his regular temperature feels on his face right now. Ahhhh. Aaaaaahhhhhh. ]
I...feel like I should be neutral, I guess. I don't want to be too biased towards—
[ He thinks about Khun and he feels that guilt again.
But he doesn't get to finish his sentence, because Jing Yuan asks him to look at him.
Slowly, his eyes turn to look at him first, and then the rest of his head follows. He stares up at him wide-eyed, and there are still crumbs around his mouth. ]
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But, he thinks...he wants to see if he can get Tatara to reach for more. To let him in. He can be there by his side, shoulder his burdens, be someone who can allow him to see a new day, if he would let him. That sorrow, that loneliness, that joy, that happiness. He wishes to share it all with him. ]
Mm, I see.
...Bias shall exist, no matter how much you might strive to hold it back. I have no illusions about the scope of how gentle your heart is. But, even I have been able to hold those I care about under my command accountable, and have witnessed glimpses of your strength concealed behind silk. It is not an impossibility.
But, I would like to show you what it might look like for you to indulge, just for a moment, with myself. What I do does not have to bind you to any decision.
So, will you permit me?
[ Like this, he leans even closer, far more than before, watching the other's reaction as he does so. He remembers what he thought when the other looked at him, eyes seeming so innocent, and the silly way those crumbs dotted around his mouth.
And...how much he wanted to kiss him. Care for him, shield him, yet help him flourish, and be his strength.
...If the other man does not turn away, if he does not object to his words, he will carefully go for it. Otherwise, he will certainly back down, no questions. ]
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He thinks of another lion, he sees a flash of blue.
It takes a moment for Tatara to shake himself out of his shock, and it's about when he feels Jing Yuan's breath on him that he leans back, slightly, and shakes his head. Timid, at first, but then firm. ]
Jing Yuan, I—
[ His heart beats painful in his chest, but he isn't sure what it means. ]
I don't think I can. [ Weirdly, there's too much guilt there. Well, not a lot, because this is Tatara, but enough to pull him back. This...really isn't territory he knows well, even.
He dips his head, just in case Jing Yuan's lips eventually find him—they'll find his forehead, instead. ]
I'm sorry. [ He's sheepish, apologetic, and wishing the blush would go away.
Man. He has a lot to think about. ]
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Not when it's clear he is this uncomfortable.
He will even stand to his feet. He has more than enough discipline to manage that with ease and grace. ]
No. It is I who should give you my apologies for overstepping.
I hope we can at least still be respectable allies who work towards a mutual goal.
[ Despite everything that just happened in the past moment or so, Jing Yuan doesn't seem bothered at the idea. Though he can't guarantee that will be the same for Tatara, and will be completely understanding if it isn't.
After all, he certainly could have handled that better, even with everything that had happened which might have affected his judgment, his actions are his own. And it is his responsibility to own up to them. ]
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[ When Jing Yuan stands, Tatara takes a moment to collect himself. He rubs his hands over his face, trying to soothe the heat on his face with the cool of his hands. Ahh, his heart still beats like crazy, but maybe it'll calm in due time.
He gives a light laugh, one that's still clearly nervous. ]
Me, too. We're in this together. And we're neighbors.
[ He eventually gets to his feet, collects his piece of cake, and then settles into the couch again. With another bright smile, he pats the spot next to him on the couch again. It seems like there are no hard feelings, at least. ]
And we're not done talking.
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But, very well. If he is certain, he will sit down next to Tatara once more. Since it seems the other isn't too troubled to have him stay for them to discuss whatever other matters there appear to be. Even with being nervous. ]
What did you wish to speak about? I assume there's something on your mind—of a different subject?
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He probably still looks like his cake, but. He's not going to not finish eating it.
He carves off another bit. ]
I heard you got hurt in the incident yesterday. [ He puts the bit in his mouth, and looks up at Jing Yuan again. He talks with his mouth full. ] Are you okay?
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Therefore, he accepts the questioning directed his way about his person. So, as Tatara continues to eat, he answers politely and straight to the point on the portion concerning him. He'll continue to eat his slice later. ]
Fortunately, I physically recovered just fine.
[ Moving past himself, though. ]
If you haven't had the chance to see to Mika and Khun, you should. They sustained a good deal of injuries; though, if you already have, mentioning it may as well be a bit moot.
Though, it'd also be good for everyone if nothing like this situation has a repeat.
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[ A little frown of a pout crosses his face. Khun didn't even mention an injury. Sneaky bastard.
Anyway, he nods, carving out another piece of cake for himself. ]
Yeah. I'll go back and tell them.
[ After a beat, after taking another piece of cake in his mouth, he peers into the gold of Jing Yuan's eyes. ]
Physically, you said. Mentally, emotionally—are you okay in those departments, too?
[ Arguably the more important factors for a wizard's wellbeing. ]
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