You think it's that simple? That I can say "lesson learned" and walk away from this like nothing happened? Think about how other people feel, Kurapika. How the injured must feel.
[At the very least, he'll be scolded for not being more attentive, for not being more prepared. It doesn't matter if Akira didn't know what happened to him until it was too late to do anything about it. The fact of the matter is that it happened.]
No, scratch that. I'm asking too much from you.
[Asking Kurapika to consider other people's feelings? Big ask.]
[ Akira's words sting. They twist something in his heart, pushing up and against all of the emotions he's learned to rein in for his own safety. The sting of it almost reverberates through him, and he has to clench his fists tight not to let it bubble over. ]
That is not what I'm trying to tell you, Akira. I'm telling you to think about how they feel, about what you can do now to make up for it.
[Focus on now? As if he isn't. As if that isn't the only thing Akira can think about.
His jaw stiffens. His fists furl and unfurl against the bedspread. Emotion washes over his face in waves, conflicted to no end, until the waves ultimately level out into nothing. I'm fine. Push it all down. I'll deal with it. I won't make this anyone else's problem.
[ Kurapika meets his gaze with a silent challenge, daring Akira to kick him out. ]
Of course not.
[ This is worse than he anticipated... at most, he had expected Akira to cry, to be upset while all he could do was stand there and provide the most rudimentary comfort.
He didn't account for this. ]
Do you think I stayed here until you woke up just to leave?
[ With a frown, he sits on the edge of the bed and mutters his incantation before a warm wave of magic settles over Akira—it's a healing spell. ]
[He knows Kurapika well enough to know he'll dig his heels in before he's thrust out the door, that's damn sure. He can be stubborn and refuse him all he likes. Akira is no less determined.]
I don't know what you stayed here for, but you can see with your own eyes that I'm alive and well. If that's what your concern was, you have nothing left to worry about.
[ Unstoppable force meets immovable object, it seems, because Kurapika reaches over to the nightstand and pulls over a little bag. He looks up at Akira. ]
[ Please!! Even the thought of that is embarrassing, so much so that he can hardly stand it. ]
Cid, Robin, and I all went to a bakery and bought bread for everyone. [ ... ] I saved some for you, so I've only had this in here while I was waiting for you to wake up.
[Kurapika, you bastard!! Akira's far too fatigued to dodge in time and ends up with a mouthful of delicious crumbly scone instead. On second thought, maybe it's better he didn't dodge. If he had, he might've ended up with a black eye.]
Mmph. You didn' haff to do thah.
[Munch. Munch munch. The scone is delicious, but that's because Kurapika didn't cook it himself. Thank fuck for that.]
[Ridiculous!! But maybe Kurapika's onto something. Having a little bread in his stomach takes the edge off his frustrations, and unlike a certain blond he could name, Akira has never felt inclined to hold onto agitation any longer than necessary. With a resigned sigh, Akira nibbles on his scone.]
I was ready to kick you out the door, and if that didn't work, the window.
Good thing you didn't, because you would have ended up even worse for wear.
[ He'll take you on in a fight and win, Akira. Don't think he won't.
But rather than lingering on that thought, Kurapika pulls a blueberry muffin out of the bag, pulling a piece of the top off and popping it into his own mouth. ]
[Kind of ridiculous how easily Kurapika disarmed his ass with a raspberry scone, but you win some, you lose some. Akira doesn't exactly enjoy feeling sorry for himself anyway.
He hums around a mouthful of scone.]
I owe everyone an apology, but I don't even know where to begin making amends. Think scones would do the trick?
[Not everyone is going to forgive him as easily as Kurapika.]
Then there's the matter of forgiving myself. I was careless during the mission. If I hadn't been, maybe I wouldn't have gotten possessed to begin with?
[But hearing is one thing. Taking those words to heart is another.]
I can't accept "maybe it'll happen again, maybe it won't" for an answer. I want to take every measure I can to avoid going down the same path twice. I don't want to become a murderer.
[ He scoots closer, muffin still sitting firmly in both of his hands. ]
Someone like you should never kill.
[ Akira is too good for that, too kind. ]
You can't change what has happened, but you're right about taking measures to avoid the same thing happening to you again. Let's use our ability to harness all types of magic and create protective charms so that you'll at least have a small layer of protection.
[Too weak to end another life... or is it kindness? Akira can't tell.]
Guess that's all we can do now, but aren't you being a little too generous? You don't need to bend over backwards to help me out, Kurapika. You have your own problems to deal with.
[ What Akira doesn't get is that he does have to say it. He's too kind to snuff out another life, and the guilt he's already saddled himself with makes that pretty clear.
But Kurapika drops it for now, certain that it'll come up again anyway. ]
I'll do what I want, Akira.
[ And if that's going the extra mile to help him out, then so be it. ]
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[At the very least, he'll be scolded for not being more attentive, for not being more prepared. It doesn't matter if Akira didn't know what happened to him until it was too late to do anything about it. The fact of the matter is that it happened.]
No, scratch that. I'm asking too much from you.
[Asking Kurapika to consider other people's feelings? Big ask.]
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That is not what I'm trying to tell you, Akira. I'm telling you to think about how they feel, about what you can do now to make up for it.
Focus on now.
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His jaw stiffens. His fists furl and unfurl against the bedspread. Emotion washes over his face in waves, conflicted to no end, until the waves ultimately level out into nothing. I'm fine. Push it all down. I'll deal with it. I won't make this anyone else's problem.
His eyes settle on Kurapika's, hard and cold.]
Is that all?
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Of course not.
[ This is worse than he anticipated... at most, he had expected Akira to cry, to be upset while all he could do was stand there and provide the most rudimentary comfort.
He didn't account for this. ]
Do you think I stayed here until you woke up just to leave?
[ With a frown, he sits on the edge of the bed and mutters his incantation before a warm wave of magic settles over Akira—it's a healing spell. ]
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I don't know what you stayed here for, but you can see with your own eyes that I'm alive and well. If that's what your concern was, you have nothing left to worry about.
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Good. Then I won't be concerned.
[ Except he very, very much is. ]
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What's that?
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And pulls out a raspberry scone. ]
Bread. I thought you might be at least a little bit hungry when you finally woke up. [ ... ] And if you aren't, you do need to eat.
1/2
[Did he bake this for him...?]
You...
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[ Please!! Even the thought of that is embarrassing, so much so that he can hardly stand it. ]
Cid, Robin, and I all went to a bakery and bought bread for everyone. [ ... ] I saved some for you, so I've only had this in here while I was waiting for you to wake up.
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[Don't mind him, he's just musing.]
If I didn't know better, I'd say you have a little crush on me, or have you been feeding all the bad boys scones?
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Shut up.
[ He launches forward and shoves that scone right into Akira's mouth. ]
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Mmph. You didn' haff to do thah.
[Munch. Munch munch. The scone is delicious, but that's because Kurapika didn't cook it himself. Thank fuck for that.]
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He sits back on the edge of the bed, and although he doesn't cross his arms, he sure gives off the exact same air as if he were. ]
I did, actually. You were being annoying.
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[Ridiculous!! But maybe Kurapika's onto something. Having a little bread in his stomach takes the edge off his frustrations, and unlike a certain blond he could name, Akira has never felt inclined to hold onto agitation any longer than necessary. With a resigned sigh, Akira nibbles on his scone.]
I was ready to kick you out the door, and if that didn't work, the window.
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[ He'll take you on in a fight and win, Akira. Don't think he won't.
But rather than lingering on that thought, Kurapika pulls a blueberry muffin out of the bag, pulling a piece of the top off and popping it into his own mouth. ]
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He hums around a mouthful of scone.]
I owe everyone an apology, but I don't even know where to begin making amends. Think scones would do the trick?
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You don't need to apologize to me. You're already forgiven.
[ It really is that simple. ]
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[Not everyone is going to forgive him as easily as Kurapika.]
Then there's the matter of forgiving myself. I was careless during the mission. If I hadn't been, maybe I wouldn't have gotten possessed to begin with?
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[ They know how to resolve this if it happens again. That's what matters the most. ]
If you had actually listened to me earlier, you would know that's what I was trying to say.
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[But hearing is one thing. Taking those words to heart is another.]
I can't accept "maybe it'll happen again, maybe it won't" for an answer. I want to take every measure I can to avoid going down the same path twice. I don't want to become a murderer.
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Someone like you should never kill.
[ Akira is too good for that, too kind. ]
You can't change what has happened, but you're right about taking measures to avoid the same thing happening to you again. Let's use our ability to harness all types of magic and create protective charms so that you'll at least have a small layer of protection.
[ "Let's" because he plans on helping. ]
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[Too weak to end another life... or is it kindness? Akira can't tell.]
Guess that's all we can do now, but aren't you being a little too generous? You don't need to bend over backwards to help me out, Kurapika. You have your own problems to deal with.
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But Kurapika drops it for now, certain that it'll come up again anyway. ]
I'll do what I want, Akira.
[ And if that's going the extra mile to help him out, then so be it. ]
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