[ More violent. Worse mood? Both. His gaze drops to Khun's kicking feet, and he thinks for a second.
He won't share what Solomon or Mika said to him, because he just wants to hear it from Khun himself. What they say has no bearing on how he sees him or treats him, anyway. ]
Hey. [ He turns himself to face him better, mostly so he's not constantly peering over his shoulder at him while he talks. ] I'm not angry, you know. Just worried, maybe.
honestly, khun really wouldn't have cared if he was. the worry (?) is more...something but the main issue here is just that he's really freakin' tired. he's pulled all nighters before and longer, but it hits different when you don't have your good friend, energy drinks, to keep you company. and when your room is a revolving door of conversations that have been more exhausting than he anticipated. the no longer completely broken ribs don't help matters either. ]
And I'm tired. [ petulantly, like the teenager he actually is. ]
So if you want me to actually talk, stay here and let me sleep first.
[ He's just been up early. He can only imagine how exhausting it must be when you're a major player in an Incident and people want to Talk. It's a good thing he's not in a rush.
He unfolds himself, dangling his own legs off the edge of the bed. ]
I could use a nap myself. [ He stands, looks around the room. ] I can take the floor.
it's been a really, really, long time since he's slept in the presence of someone else. not since he and maria—he doesn't want to connect the line he can feel unraveling somewhere in the darkness. he's tired, he'll think about it later. this is what happens when his thoughts go quiet and he doesn't think.
khun moves upward on the bed properly, turning on his side to face tatara, body slightly curled. (would it be stupider to show his back or his face? again, he's not thinking.)
Tatara might've dozed on his back, facing the ceiling, but when he wakes up, he's on his side facing Khun. His eyes blink open quietly, and for a few moments, he just stares.
...
He breathes deep, the rest of his body catching up with his eyes. The intake of air wakes him completely, and he'll push himself up onto an elbow.
[ the past 24 hours have just been full of dumb choices, and it doesn't look like they're letting up anytime soon. khun wakes up easily and peacefully (which is a real surprise given everything), eyes sliding open to a shade of amber that's at once both familiar and also new.
he really can't do anything here other then exhale slowly, taking everything in. ]
Good morning. [ it could sound rote but it doesn't, soft and warm; a genuine good that's a mix of more than a few feelings, curling his lips up ever so slightly. those aren't getting sorted out right now (or ever), but he does ride the impulse to reach out to touch tatara, wherever he can. ]
[ Khun's hand will find Tatara's own, relaxed in the space between them. He's about to open his mouth to say something, but the warmth of the other's hand on his catches him off guard (as many things are as of late), and he seems to freeze in place for a moment.
But after a brief beat, he adjusts his hold, to loosely lace his fingers through his. Is this to help him wake up? He still isn't sure of the intricacies of what the sage can do to help their wizards.
[ oh. if khun had to make some sort of excuse to himself, reaching out was simply a way to ground himself in the waking world after the deep haze of sleep. he wasn't expecting to be touched in return, and he certainly wasn't expecting their fingers to be brought together like this. were he more awake, his mind might try to remind him that he's held hands like this before even if it was under entirely different circumstances and under an entirely different light.
a pity he's not.
so what tatara gets is the slowest blink, a realization brushed with soft pink, bright against his fair complexion. maybe he should turn away, duck, or make some excuse, but he's never been particularly good at not facing things head on. and if he wasn't really thinking before, he's certainly not thinking now.
[ Tatara just watches Khun's face curiously, blinking slowly as the haze of sleep leaves him. He watches the brush over his cheek and admires the hue, his thoughts moving no further than that. What a contrast to how blue the rest of him is, in general. Curious. ]
Good. [ He smiles.
There's a brief moment of hesitation before he squeezes Khun's hand, then slowly lets go, his hand slipping from his hold. He rights himself, fluffs the pillows, and leans casually against the back of the bed in a sit. ]
Do you usually take a lot of naps?
[ Casually, and curious, because their upcoming (?) date (?) also involves a nap.
He's here for business, yes, ostensibly, but he feels bad rushing straight into it. ]
[ the pillows are very fluffy, with silk pillowcases that feel soft to the touch.
khun himself feels...well soft wouldn't be too off. it takes him another moment where he blinks once more, gets some of his thoughts going about pretty much everything. ah again, though this time he's moving to push up from the bed and then immediately fuss with his hair which he's sure looks like a mess (it does not look that terrible, but his standards).
he responds while he's undoing the hair tie, letting the familiar action ease him into some facsimile of normal, blue strands falling cleanly down across his shoulders. he's been here practically a month now, and it's grown out a little. ]
Not usually. [ said with a hairtie in his mouth, so there's a pause here where he finishes tying his hair back up again. that done he looks back to his usual, shades of blue and white without a hint of pink. one step down. ]
But I guess I might be susceptible to a certain influence. [ with a small smile. right their... date (?). he needs at least another moment (or two, or three, to try to wrap his head back around what he said in the bath). for now with his hair fixed, he opts to sit crossed legged by the pillow, sideways on the bed so he can look at tatara directly.
khun never forgets business (okay, maybe momentarily right there). ]
Give me your hand, O' Wise Sage. [ he holds one hand out, palm up. a different type of touch than before. ]
[ This is dangerous. The most dangerous thing about this is that Tatara can easily sink into these pillows and find himself lying in the bed again. That follow-up nap urge is real, but he'll brush it off with a yawn.
Tatara's own hair is barely mussed, but easily falls back into place when he sits back up. His shirt is wrinkled, but that's what he gets for sleeping in it. (Though maybe it adds to the look, who knows.)
He just watches as Khun minds his hair, admiring how neat he keeps it. For a few brief seconds he searches his face for hints of his prefered hues, but sees none. Mm. A memory he'll have to look back to on his own time, then. A shame.
His influence, hm? Tatara grins when Khun smiles at him, and he leans his head against the headboard (or wall, whatever is or isn't there). If naps turn into a defining feature of their relationship (wait, what relationsh—), then Khun will be a regular day snoozer in no time.
Anyway. He blinks at the offered hand, before settling his on Khun's palm. ]
Are you going to show me magic? [ Partial tease, partial genuine question. Eventually, the easy smile comes back to his lips. ] Can I tell you something first?
You'll see. [ his smile curves wider, not quite a grin but more marked all the same. being a tease is one of his features and he can be this was unabashedly, no matter the circumstance.
i keep forgetting to mention but since his wizard crest is on his palm, particularly with their hands touching like this, tatara can take it in fully. khun for his part, seems content to maintain the contact just like this. ]
[ It is very hard not to mirror all of Khun's laughs and smiles, and that makes it hard to give him some credibility to do his...job, really. For a second, he's a little nervous about doing what he came here to do.
For what thoughts he might've had about Khun's crest, they're gone as his own palm covers it. He squeezes tight, and meets the other's blue eyes with the warmth of his own. ]
For the record... I say this as your sage. I'm still not mad at you. [ It feels weird, still, to say that, like he's putting distance between them. ] But, y'know? The people living here with us are supposed to be our allies.
[ He says "us" and not "you" and that trips him up, briefly. He pauses, his eyes softening. ] I know you were angry, and it's okay. But please don't try to kill anyone, okay?
You could be mad at me. [ said easily, but also genuinely. "allies"... khun and allies is—his smile turns wry, a soft sigh escaping his lips. his words are warmer after, funnily enough and he squeezes his hand back, belatedly. ]
I can try. [ that's not a question and there's no hesitation there at all. tatara is tatara and at this point he could get khun to try a lot of things. no promises, but the fact that tatara didn't try to ask for one, or any kind of guarantee, honestly adds more weight to it. ]
But I want to tell you why I was angry. It's a bit of a long story though, so did you get enough sleep?
That makes two of us. [ one of his fingers curls against tatara's, trying to pull the words together. not that he doesn't know the shape of them, but they're difficult to bring out into the light like this, though the warmth helps. it's one of the reason he demanded tatara's hand, actually. ]
Before I start. I'm not telling you as justification or an excuse. I'm telling you because I want you to know. [ "I want you to know me." ]
Do you remember my other teammate? Not the alligator. The wavemaster and shinsu specialist, Baam. In the Tower, we have to take exams to advance up every floor, but first we have to prove that we're worthy to even climb. Out of five hundred participants that started the very first exam on the Test Floor, only 250 survived by design. The exam wouldn't progress until our number was cut cleanly in half by our own hands and after that, we had to make a team of three out of the survivors. If you failed to make a team, you also died.
We didn't have to, but it was easier to stick as a team after that. The rest of the exams on the Test Floor were similar in nature, high stakes death games designed to weed out the weak and pit us against each other. That's the nature of the Tower and it only gets worse the higher up you go.
The very last exam was environmental, all the surviving teams working together towards a common goal. There were about thirty of us. As lightbearer and leader, it was my responsibility to give orders and ensure our success. The alligator was on the front lines and Baam was assigned a specialty duty by the system with one other person.
[ here his fingers curl again, a twitch turned into something else. his voice is low and particularly flat from this point on. ]
Baam's position was the most dangerous, but the exam was rigged that way. Nothing's ever fair and I never expect it to be fair. I had accounted for everything I could think of, and though his partner in that position was weak, she was someone Baam trusted with his life. If nothing else, even if she was dragging him down, she shouldn't have been actively working against him.
Something happened in the area they were in. They dealt with the monster, meaning we had passed the final exam, and then—Baam vanished. The edge of that area was an abyss that not even the Instructors could reach the depths of. Rachel said that the ground they were on gave way, and Baam pushed her to safety first. It's a very believable story if you've met Baam for more than five minutes.
But it doesn't make sense to me. I researched the layout of that area completely, and such an effect shouldn't have been possible. And it was obvious pretty early on that someone wanted Baam to fail. The only thing I didn't see was Rachel's part in it. I should have seen it. I will get to the bottom of it.
My failure pisses me off.
Baam wanted to see the stars at the top of the Tower, because like the Sun, they're artificial. That's what Mikaela caught me doing last night, looking at the stars. I always think of him when I do. Mikaela read my thoughts, got their names. I haven't mentioned Baam's name to anyone until tonight, and I've never mentioned Rachel until now.
I was angry at the exposure of my failure, but I was also [ he stops, starts again with a conviction he wishes he could rid himself of. ] upset.
[ he can't put as much into words, but it was a combination of his emotions and the reflex to kill when his weakness was exposed. meant or not, he was raised to believe that showing weakness was death. ]
[ Khun talks, and Tatara listens. He lends his head to the wall or the headboard or whatever's back there. Whenever he feels movement on his hand, his thumb brushes over Khun's, a little reassurance that he's listening, without judgment.
He hears the shift in Khun's tone, and concern colors his eyes, and his express drops to one more serious. Does that mean death, then? If Khun's sun is artificial then that means there's a lot he can't possibly imagine about where he comes from.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet. ]
...I'm sorry. That can't have been easy, having that weigh on your shoulders. Even now. Being a leader is never easy, is it? [ He shifts his hand, intertwining his fingers with his again. ]
Your upset is pretty intense. [ He says this with a fond smile, and a warm, accepting tone. Like it isn't a bad thing at all, because he knows—knew someone similar. ] Have you gotten the chance to talk to Mika since?
[ luckily there is a headboard so tatara can be relatively comfy while he listens to all of That. ]
It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, it wouldn't be the real thing. And I don't mind, I enjoy it—I want to become family head and that's a large part of it. [ it's not a rebuke or a dismissal but clarification; the weight of leading others has never felt particularly heavy to him. the weight of needing to be perfect in doing so however, is a different story.
"pretty intense", huh. he sighs at that, but it's amused. some of the curve returns to his voice in spite of everything else he's feeling (and not feeling), even if his cadence still isn't close to what it usually is. ]
...that's one way to put it. And no, there's no reason to—seeing me would probably make him think that I wanted to finish what I started.
[ not that khun would judge him for that tbh, he thinks it's pretty reasonable. ]
[ Ooh. A shadow of a...look crosses Tatara's face at the clarification. It's like he takes in Khun in a slightly different light, and he's processing what he sees. Someone who has all the qualities of a leader, like someone he knows, but actually strives to be one, unlike someone he knows.
...Hm. ]
Mm. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'd want to see you at each other's throats again.
[ More like, he doesn't really want something to happen to Khun, if Mika retaliates. ]
But, thank you. [ He squeezes, and his smile widens. ] Thanks for telling me about you and your world. I feel like I understand you a little bit better.
[ He won't be able to remember everything, but he makes a mental note to write down what he does into his book, once he gets back to his room. ]
I think I should be the one saying that. [ thanks he means, though he doesn't say it explicitly. instead, he squeezes his hand back and finally allows himself a ghost of a smile, his voice warming more. ]
Tell me more about yourself sometime, I want to hear it. [ it doesn't need to be now, but he wanted to make his desire clear. ]
[ Tatara isn't sure what he did to warrant any thanks, so he just tilts his head when Khun squeezes his hand.
He laughs lightly at that, though, tickled by the idea. ]
Sure, if you want to know. I don't have friends that are talking alligators, though. Or have to take a lot of big, important tests.
More importantly—
[ He leans forward slightly, peering into the cool blue of his eyes. ]
Thank you for listening to me. I...don't think I want you to get hurt.
[ That applies to all his wizards, right? He tries to think about what it might have been like if Khun were the one injured, not Mika. What would've he done?
...Well, that didn't happen, so his mind doesn't go there. But so his eyes remain, wide and pleading. ]
[ as novel as his world is to everyone else, it's functionally the same in reverse. with most people though khun hasn't pried too hard, but tatara isn't everyone. he doesn't get to say anything beyond tip his head in affirmation, because even if he's still coming into feeling again, the color coral is still distracting up close. ]
My blood makes me pretty durable. [ he says that, but he knows that's not the point. and he hasn't forgotten that tatara said he was concerned about him before either, it's just worse now with that expression. khun doesn't really do guilt, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the urge to make things better. with a breath in to brace his core (his ribs are still tender so he probably shouldn't be doing this, but that's never stopped him before), he leans forward, freeing his hand to half-flop, half-hug tatara. and the bed probably, if they fall back onto it.
he lets out the breath and the words he was holding in his chest once they settle. ]
It would be hard not to listen to you. [ it's not something he would normally say, but he really is still sore all over. ]
[ Durable or no, he's not indestructible. There's a little moment where Tatara's eyes quickly flit over Khun's body, as though reminded he could very well still be injured. But he doesn't get very long of a chance to do that—
Because see, these pillows were dangerous. Tatara has sunk and slid into them, just a touch, at this point, just enough that when Khun flings himself onto him, it's more than enough to knock him off balance. But like, in slow motion. Tatara sinks into the pillows, back onto the blankets, but now with his legs to the side and Khun on top of him.
He gives a light laugh, and he feels the happiness thrum in his chest and dance on his cheeks, and he gently wraps his own arms around Khun's middle. ]
Khun... [ He says this in a half-whine, half-exclamation, nothing particularly heartfelt or serious, his laugh the undercurrent in the way he says his name. ]
Are you sure about that? Not gonna get second thoughts if I decide to drag you halfway across the country to try a rare and unique art of fruit cutting with me?
[ Totally made-up example, but he knows a handful of his closest cohort at Homra would absolutely complain if he did that to them. ]
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no subject
He won't share what Solomon or Mika said to him, because he just wants to hear it from Khun himself. What they say has no bearing on how he sees him or treats him, anyway. ]
Hey. [ He turns himself to face him better, mostly so he's not constantly peering over his shoulder at him while he talks. ] I'm not angry, you know. Just worried, maybe.
no subject
honestly, khun really wouldn't have cared if he was. the worry (?) is more...something but the main issue here is just that he's really freakin' tired. he's pulled all nighters before and longer, but it hits different when you don't have your good friend, energy drinks, to keep you company. and when your room is a revolving door of conversations that have been more exhausting than he anticipated. the no longer completely broken ribs don't help matters either. ]
And I'm tired. [ petulantly, like the teenager he actually is. ]
So if you want me to actually talk, stay here and let me sleep first.
no subject
Sure.
[ He's just been up early. He can only imagine how exhausting it must be when you're a major player in an Incident and people want to Talk. It's a good thing he's not in a rush.
He unfolds himself, dangling his own legs off the edge of the bed. ]
I could use a nap myself. [ He stands, looks around the room. ] I can take the floor.
no subject
[ who's the sage and who's the wizard again? I'm sorry he's like this. ]
no subject
Tatara just looks at Khun, and slowly sits back on the bed.
Makes sense? ]
...Yeah, I'm already here. Don't mind if I do!
[ He kicks off his slippers, then unfurls backwards onto the bed, beside Khun.
Comfy. ]
no subject
it's been a really, really, long time since he's slept in the presence of someone else. not since he and maria—he doesn't want to connect the line he can feel unraveling somewhere in the darkness. he's tired, he'll think about it later. this is what happens when his thoughts go quiet and he doesn't think.
khun moves upward on the bed properly, turning on his side to face tatara, body slightly curled. (would it be stupider to show his back or his face? again, he's not thinking.)
sleep comes for him instantly. ]
no subject
Tatara might've dozed on his back, facing the ceiling, but when he wakes up, he's on his side facing Khun. His eyes blink open quietly, and for a few moments, he just stares.
...
He breathes deep, the rest of his body catching up with his eyes. The intake of air wakes him completely, and he'll push himself up onto an elbow.
When Khun awakens, he smiles, playfully. ]
Morning.
no subject
he really can't do anything here other then exhale slowly, taking everything in. ]
Good morning. [ it could sound rote but it doesn't, soft and warm; a genuine good that's a mix of more than a few feelings, curling his lips up ever so slightly. those aren't getting sorted out right now (or ever), but he does ride the impulse to reach out to touch tatara, wherever he can. ]
no subject
But after a brief beat, he adjusts his hold, to loosely lace his fingers through his. Is this to help him wake up? He still isn't sure of the intricacies of what the sage can do to help their wizards.
He leans into his own hand, propping him up. ]
How are you feeling?
no subject
a pity he's not.
so what tatara gets is the slowest blink, a realization brushed with soft pink, bright against his fair complexion. maybe he should turn away, duck, or make some excuse, but he's never been particularly good at not facing things head on. and if he wasn't really thinking before, he's certainly not thinking now.
at least he doesn't need to be to respond. ]
...better.
no subject
Good. [ He smiles.
There's a brief moment of hesitation before he squeezes Khun's hand, then slowly lets go, his hand slipping from his hold. He rights himself, fluffs the pillows, and leans casually against the back of the bed in a sit. ]
Do you usually take a lot of naps?
[ Casually, and curious, because their upcoming (?) date (?) also involves a nap.
He's here for business, yes, ostensibly, but he feels bad rushing straight into it. ]
no subject
khun himself feels...well soft wouldn't be too off. it takes him another moment where he blinks once more, gets some of his thoughts going about pretty much everything. ah again, though this time he's moving to push up from the bed and then immediately fuss with his hair which he's sure looks like a mess (it does not look that terrible, but his standards).
he responds while he's undoing the hair tie, letting the familiar action ease him into some facsimile of normal, blue strands falling cleanly down across his shoulders. he's been here practically a month now, and it's grown out a little. ]
Not usually. [ said with a hairtie in his mouth, so there's a pause here where he finishes tying his hair back up again. that done he looks back to his usual, shades of blue and white without a hint of pink. one step down. ]
But I guess I might be susceptible to a certain influence. [ with a small smile. right their... date (?). he needs at least another moment (or two, or three, to try to wrap his head back around what he said in the bath). for now with his hair fixed, he opts to sit crossed legged by the pillow, sideways on the bed so he can look at tatara directly.
khun never forgets business (okay, maybe momentarily right there). ]
Give me your hand, O' Wise Sage. [ he holds one hand out, palm up. a different type of touch than before. ]
no subject
Tatara's own hair is barely mussed, but easily falls back into place when he sits back up. His shirt is wrinkled, but that's what he gets for sleeping in it. (Though maybe it adds to the look, who knows.)
He just watches as Khun minds his hair, admiring how neat he keeps it. For a few brief seconds he searches his face for hints of his prefered hues, but sees none. Mm. A memory he'll have to look back to on his own time, then. A shame.
His influence, hm? Tatara grins when Khun smiles at him, and he leans his head against the headboard (or wall, whatever is or isn't there). If naps turn into a defining feature of their relationship (wait, what relationsh—), then Khun will be a regular day snoozer in no time.
Anyway. He blinks at the offered hand, before settling his on Khun's palm. ]
Are you going to show me magic? [ Partial tease, partial genuine question. Eventually, the easy smile comes back to his lips. ] Can I tell you something first?
no subject
i keep forgetting to mention but since his wizard crest is on his palm, particularly with their hands touching like this, tatara can take it in fully. khun for his part, seems content to maintain the contact just like this. ]
Go ahead.
no subject
For what thoughts he might've had about Khun's crest, they're gone as his own palm covers it. He squeezes tight, and meets the other's blue eyes with the warmth of his own. ]
For the record... I say this as your sage. I'm still not mad at you. [ It feels weird, still, to say that, like he's putting distance between them. ] But, y'know? The people living here with us are supposed to be our allies.
[ He says "us" and not "you" and that trips him up, briefly. He pauses, his eyes softening. ] I know you were angry, and it's okay. But please don't try to kill anyone, okay?
no subject
I can try. [ that's not a question and there's no hesitation there at all. tatara is tatara and at this point he could get khun to try a lot of things. no promises, but the fact that tatara didn't try to ask for one, or any kind of guarantee, honestly adds more weight to it. ]
But I want to tell you why I was angry. It's a bit of a long story though, so did you get enough sleep?
no subject
now that this happens post kissTrying is better than refusing outright, and the faint ghosts of tension in Tatara's shoulders seem to ease.The way he asks permission, though, causes a softness to color his smile, and he nods slowly. ]
I slept pretty well. [ He could keep napping, as per usual. ] Go ahead. I'm listening.
tower of god part 1 spoilers
Before I start. I'm not telling you as justification or an excuse. I'm telling you because I want you to know. [ "I want you to know me." ]
Do you remember my other teammate? Not the alligator. The wavemaster and shinsu specialist, Baam. In the Tower, we have to take exams to advance up every floor, but first we have to prove that we're worthy to even climb. Out of five hundred participants that started the very first exam on the Test Floor, only 250 survived by design. The exam wouldn't progress until our number was cut cleanly in half by our own hands and after that, we had to make a team of three out of the survivors. If you failed to make a team, you also died.
We didn't have to, but it was easier to stick as a team after that. The rest of the exams on the Test Floor were similar in nature, high stakes death games designed to weed out the weak and pit us against each other. That's the nature of the Tower and it only gets worse the higher up you go.
The very last exam was environmental, all the surviving teams working together towards a common goal. There were about thirty of us. As lightbearer and leader, it was my responsibility to give orders and ensure our success. The alligator was on the front lines and Baam was assigned a specialty duty by the system with one other person.
[ here his fingers curl again, a twitch turned into something else. his voice is low and particularly flat from this point on. ]
Baam's position was the most dangerous, but the exam was rigged that way. Nothing's ever fair and I never expect it to be fair. I had accounted for everything I could think of, and though his partner in that position was weak, she was someone Baam trusted with his life. If nothing else, even if she was dragging him down, she shouldn't have been actively working against him.
Something happened in the area they were in. They dealt with the monster, meaning we had passed the final exam, and then—Baam vanished. The edge of that area was an abyss that not even the Instructors could reach the depths of. Rachel said that the ground they were on gave way, and Baam pushed her to safety first. It's a very believable story if you've met Baam for more than five minutes.
But it doesn't make sense to me. I researched the layout of that area completely, and such an effect shouldn't have been possible. And it was obvious pretty early on that someone wanted Baam to fail. The only thing I didn't see was Rachel's part in it. I should have seen it. I will get to the bottom of it.
My failure pisses me off.
Baam wanted to see the stars at the top of the Tower, because like the Sun, they're artificial. That's what Mikaela caught me doing last night, looking at the stars. I always think of him when I do. Mikaela read my thoughts, got their names. I haven't mentioned Baam's name to anyone until tonight, and I've never mentioned Rachel until now.
I was angry at the exposure of my failure, but I was also [ he stops, starts again with a conviction he wishes he could rid himself of. ] upset.
[ he can't put as much into words, but it was a combination of his emotions and the reflex to kill when his weakness was exposed. meant or not, he was raised to believe that showing weakness was death. ]
no subject
He hears the shift in Khun's tone, and concern colors his eyes, and his express drops to one more serious. Does that mean death, then? If Khun's sun is artificial then that means there's a lot he can't possibly imagine about where he comes from.
When he speaks, his voice is quiet. ]
...I'm sorry. That can't have been easy, having that weigh on your shoulders. Even now. Being a leader is never easy, is it? [ He shifts his hand, intertwining his fingers with his again. ]
Your upset is pretty intense. [ He says this with a fond smile, and a warm, accepting tone. Like it isn't a bad thing at all, because he knows—knew someone similar. ] Have you gotten the chance to talk to Mika since?
no subject
It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, it wouldn't be the real thing. And I don't mind, I enjoy it—I want to become family head and that's a large part of it. [ it's not a rebuke or a dismissal but clarification; the weight of leading others has never felt particularly heavy to him. the weight of needing to be perfect in doing so however, is a different story.
"pretty intense", huh. he sighs at that, but it's amused. some of the curve returns to his voice in spite of everything else he's feeling (and not feeling), even if his cadence still isn't close to what it usually is. ]
...that's one way to put it. And no, there's no reason to—seeing me would probably make him think that I wanted to finish what I started.
[ not that khun would judge him for that tbh, he thinks it's pretty reasonable. ]
no subject
...Hm. ]
Mm. Yeah, you're right. I don't think I'd want to see you at each other's throats again.
[ More like, he doesn't really want something to happen to Khun, if Mika retaliates. ]
But, thank you. [ He squeezes, and his smile widens. ] Thanks for telling me about you and your world. I feel like I understand you a little bit better.
[ He won't be able to remember everything, but he makes a mental note to write down what he does into his book, once he gets back to his room. ]
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Tell me more about yourself sometime, I want to hear it. [ it doesn't need to be now, but he wanted to make his desire clear. ]
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He laughs lightly at that, though, tickled by the idea. ]
Sure, if you want to know. I don't have friends that are talking alligators, though. Or have to take a lot of big, important tests.
More importantly—
[ He leans forward slightly, peering into the cool blue of his eyes. ]
Thank you for listening to me. I...don't think I want you to get hurt.
[ That applies to all his wizards, right? He tries to think about what it might have been like if Khun were the one injured, not Mika. What would've he done?
...Well, that didn't happen, so his mind doesn't go there. But so his eyes remain, wide and pleading. ]
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My blood makes me pretty durable. [ he says that, but he knows that's not the point. and he hasn't forgotten that tatara said he was concerned about him before either, it's just worse now with that expression. khun doesn't really do guilt, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the urge to make things better. with a breath in to brace his core (his ribs are still tender so he probably shouldn't be doing this, but that's never stopped him before), he leans forward, freeing his hand to half-flop, half-hug tatara. and the bed probably, if they fall back onto it.
he lets out the breath and the words he was holding in his chest once they settle. ]
It would be hard not to listen to you. [ it's not something he would normally say, but he really is still sore all over. ]
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Because see, these pillows were dangerous. Tatara has sunk and slid into them, just a touch, at this point, just enough that when Khun flings himself onto him, it's more than enough to knock him off balance. But like, in slow motion. Tatara sinks into the pillows, back onto the blankets, but now with his legs to the side and Khun on top of him.
He gives a light laugh, and he feels the happiness thrum in his chest and dance on his cheeks, and he gently wraps his own arms around Khun's middle. ]
Khun... [ He says this in a half-whine, half-exclamation, nothing particularly heartfelt or serious, his laugh the undercurrent in the way he says his name. ]
Are you sure about that? Not gonna get second thoughts if I decide to drag you halfway across the country to try a rare and unique art of fruit cutting with me?
[ Totally made-up example, but he knows a handful of his closest cohort at Homra would absolutely complain if he did that to them. ]
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