wizardmanor | Floor 2, Room 4

[ Day blinks at first, caught off-guard by Phil's answer. He isn't sure what he was expecting, but it was probably not an answer in the affirmative, since...Phil seems so shy, in general. He finds himself wanting to ask Phil how long he's had it, both out of curiosity and because he wants to tease Phil a bit. Then, it dawns on his alcohol-soaked brain that Phil might have it because of him since the man admitted to fantasizing about him earlier, and the reality that Phil wants him sinks in a little more.

It shouldn't be surprising. Day knows he's good-looking and attractive, and while his sex drive was driven to the ground these past two years, he was living up to the stereotype of the Division of Serenity before that. He wouldn't necessarily say he's easy, but if there's a mutual attraction and they're both consenting, well, why not? As long as everyone knows what the boundaries are, it's a good bit of fun. Phil lusting after him should be the least surprising when Day's teased him over eyeballing his muscles before.

When Phil kisses him so gently and lovingly, his heart melts at how tender a gesture it is, and Day suddenly understands why he feels so overwhelmed. He is used to desiring and being desired; used to loving and being loved in return, however ephemeral it turns out to be. He is not used to holding out his tired, wounded heart to someone else, wanting to love them with a fire so intense that his heart could bloom again, and having someone take it into their life. Because surely what people like about him is his easygoing charm and kindness. Once the aching void that's trying to fill itself with purpose and value is revealed, everything else about him is tarnished by that desperation.

More than just desiring him, Phil cherishes him the way Day wants to cherish Phil in return, and his forget-me-not heart dares to hope. And with that hope is the fear that this won't last, that the only way Phil would want to stay is that he hasn't realized how burdensome it truly is, or to make Phil need him like air. Phil is the third person he fell in love with, the second to love him back, and the only one to hold his love like it's precious starlight. It feels like a dream that is too good to be true after so much disappointment and knowing that his love isn't enough or too much or unneeded or unwanted.

They're such ugly thoughts to have when Phil is being so tender with him. So Day tries to push them aside and focus on this moment because at least right now, it is real. He kisses Phil back equally gently, and the hand above Phil's waistband reaches up to tangle itself in his long hair while the other arm wraps around his waist again. Not tightly, not possessively, but still keeping him close. A touch meant to reaffirm that he wants this and wants to be with Phil, that Day loves him so much his heart could burst at the seams from how much he wants to treasure him. ]

Edited 2024-07-08 15:39 (UTC)

[Buttons forgotten, Phil lifts his hands to cup Day's face in response and just kiss him with all of the love that's filled his heart to overflowing. He still isn't sure he really understands love (because his love has always hurt others, always destroyed, even when he never meant it to), and he definitely isn't sure that he deserves it, but even if this love ends up flashing brilliant and then burning away like a shooting star - like his own life ultimately will - he wants to make sure to sear his existence into Day's memory and leave that warmth behind for Day when he's gone.

It's selfish, he knows. And maybe in the end he doesn't know how to be anything other than selfish, but Day is pulling him closer rather than pushing him away, those arms holding him so gently like he's a precious treasure. Maybe it's all right to believe that for at least this moment, he truly is the one someone wants rather than a consolation prize, because he's never allowed himself the hope that he could ever be anything more than that (if he could even be that, for who in their right mind could look past the ugliness in his heart and find something to love?).

Maybe Day isn't in his right mind. Maybe it's just the alcohol, and all of this will fade away like fog in the morning light. And if it does... well, it will be just another scar joining the multitude on Phil's heart, already so damaged that yet one more won't make a difference. He certainly couldn't blame Day for that. Just for tonight, he can allow himself to believe that this is something meant only for him, cling tight to this kindness and not let it go, and maybe then there will be a little bit of warmth left afterwards for him too.

He doesn't believe that he won't somehow destroy this love too, if that's even what it is. That's all he ever does; why would this be any different? But right now, he wants to love Day with his entire being so that even if this does all end tomorrow, he'll at least know what it was like to feel as though someone else in this world is looking only at him.]

[ If Day had any idea what Phil was thinking, he'd do anything to try and prove to Phil that this love isn't simply consolation or momentary. Maybe even promise it, that he'll take Phil's heart into his life, with care not to let it burn his fingers. Because Phil's the person he's been able to pour his love into wholeheartedly without the sting of knowing he won't be chosen or thanked for his efforts, as selfish as it is to wish for it, and increasingly doesn't seem to mind how his love wants to cling, if Day could believe it. Maybe it's because Day's desperation hasn't sunk into him yet.

(Maybe it's because Phil is willing to accept this desperation and tell Day's forget-me-not heart that this love matters, and he'll hold onto Day for however much time they still have left, but... no, that's Day's wishful thinking from having too many drinks, surely.)

Eventually, Day breaks the kiss, but only so he can nuzzle Phil's face, let the tips of their noses brush against each other in what he hopes is a fond gesture. Curls some strands of Phil's soft hair between his fingers, too. ]

You wanna get it, or should I?

[ ...Though Day is loath to have Phil move off his lap, even if it'd only be for a moment. Greedily, he thinks Phil should just sit pretty on his lap all the time, in various senses of the word. ]

Edited 2024-07-09 09:08 (UTC)

I can get it.

[Phil can't resist the urge to press another soft kiss to Day's lips before he moves to stand, albeit reluctantly (and more than a bit awkwardly given just how turned on he is). For a brief moment, there's a flash of embarrassment at just how obvious his arousal is now that he's standing, but it's quickly replaced by a hope that Day will realize just how much Phil desires him, how much his touching and teasing has driven Phil to the point of near desperation. He hopes Day feels at least some pride in his work, though it all honesty it didn't take much to get him to this state when the mere chance to touch and kiss Day has already gone a long way towards making his fantasies reality.

It's a simple thing to open the drawer of the nightstand and retrieve the small bottle from within, placed for easy access when he'd awakened from vivid dreams with an unrelenting need that refused to allow his mind to calm enough to go back to sleep. (Or, perhaps more precisely, his mind had refused to release its grip on those less-than-tame thoughts that had left him tossing and turning in his sleep.)

Now he does blush and duck his head slightly as he holds the bottle out to Day. It's clear that some of the contents have already been put to good use; he wonders what Day will think when he realizes this, if he'll ask Phil any questions about just what he did with it.

A part of Phil finds that he almost hopes Day does.]

[ There's the smallest, tiniest whine from Day, a moment of dumb, silly pettiness when Phil leaves his lap, though the kiss goes a long way to pacify it. His eyes follow Phil, both the way he moves and the rather noticeable tent in Phil's pants, and a part of Day is already thinking of how Phil would react if Day were to go down on him because he suddenly wants to know how Phil would taste in his mouth.

He also notices that the bottle isn't full when Phil hands it over to him, and tilts his head, bird-like. The smile on his lips is only slightly smug, because Phil probably used it while fantasizing about him, right? ]

Played with yourself, hm?

[ Ask and you shall receive, Phil. ]

Ah--

... y-yes.

[Phil knows better than to try to pretend he isn't scarlet right now, but he also doesn't regret the rush of heat to his stomach as he admits to this. It feels a little dirty, a little naughty, and there's a decided thrill to sharing this fact with the person he'd been fantasizing about in the first place.]

I was thinking about you.

[As if there could have been any other answer, any other person who possibly could have had the starring role in his fantasies. He's barely even thought of such things for years before arriving here, so to find himself still possessed of a functioning sex drive came as something of a surprise even to him. The bigger surprise is having a use for the contents of the bottle that isn't just self-pleasure, though.]

[ Day's cheeks are flushing a little deeper too, though it doesn't seem to be out of embarrassment. Maybe it's better to say it's from knowing he's the one Phil was thinking of, a bit of pride and elation at once. He gestures for Phil to climb back into his lap as he uncaps the bottle. ]

Hehe, I prob'ly should feel a bit bad for ruinin' you. [ It's mostly joking, though a small part of Day does...kind of, sort of worry that maybe he has spoiled Phil's character in a bad sort of way. Considering how his own first foray into sex played out, it's not surprising. ] What sorta things did you think about?

[ Maybe Day can make them come true, whether it's tonight or some other one. ]

I don't think it can be called ruining when I'm the one who wants it...

[Just pointing out the obvious here, as though Day can't already tell just how into all of this he is. He's the one who wanted to go all the way tonight, tipsy or not, and if Day were to change his mind he would leap at the opportunity.]

But... I imagined what it would be like to have you touching me instead of myself.

[Tame, perhaps, but it's an admittance to at least one of the things he used that oil for. He didn't have much of a frame of reference for things to do in the beginning, unlike now...

Phil is moving to climb back into Day's lap when something occurs to him and he pauses halfway onto the bed.]

Um... should I... take these off?

[A gesture to his pajama pants, which in all honesty he would very much like gone.]

Only 'cause you met me.

[ It's starting to sink in more and more how much Phil wants him, or rather, that this person Day adores and yearns for also reciprocates his feelings. After too many encounters where his bed partners gently turned down any future ones with him (and Day learnt that he's only desirable when he's fun, so he should keep things casual), after confessing and it fizzling out (and—it's not like he blames Ginger, especially because Ginger had been upfront about it. Sometimes feelings just don't work out. And they're still dear to each other, it's just...of course, once again, his love wasn't just right for someone.), after resigning himself to pining (because surely there wasn't room for Day in Phil's heart, as preoccupied as it already is), Phil wants him. The worry that he's somehow warped Phil ever so slightly is accompanied by joy that he's become a fixture in Phil's dreams and that Phil would want to treat him so tenderly like just now. ]

...Yeah, you should.

[ And Day seems to be trying to hide the flush on his face now by ducking his head, swallowing and reaching down with his free hand for the waistband of his own pants. If Phil's going to strip, then Day may as well give Phil a show too. ]

[Phil nods, swallowing in turn as the reality of just what it is they're about to do sets in. There's no going back at this point-- not that he wants to, yet at the same time a slight fear grips his heart even through the warm haze of drink. If Day doesn't like what he sees, is disappointed by Phil's body after he's gathered up the courage to take this final step... Phil isn't sure he could take that rejection.

That's why he looks away as he steps back down onto the floor and slowly begins to slide the pants off, his cheeks burning. His shirt was one thing, but this... now there's absolutely nothing left to hide him from that starlit gaze, and as much as he wants those eyes on him, he's still self-conscious of his physique and how skinny he is when put next to Day. Will Day really still find him attractive once he sees everything?

It's certainly no striptease, but at last he gets the pants down to his ankles, and carefully he steps out of them before letting them fall to the floor in a heap. Then, slowly, he raises his own gaze to look at Day's face, cheeks flushed and eyes dark with a hint of trepidation.]

[ Day pauses in the middle of trying to shimmy out of his pants to watch Phil. It's not a striptease, sure, but he wants to see every bit of Phil revealed.

Contrary to Phil's anxiety, Day's starlit gaze is hungry, like he wants to drink Phil with his eyes alone, and devour him with his touch. And that dark urge from earlier is back to try and coax Day to change his mind: this pale, scrawny body would look gorgeous wrapped around him and trying to swallow down his cock. He could turn that shy look of trepidation into one of wanton bliss and need as he teaches Phil the depths of lust and pleasure. All has to do is let Phil have a taste of him to mould him into the perfect sleeve, a partner who will never leave him until he breathes his last.

Perhaps that is why Day chooses to say something instead of act, his voice sounding breathless from adoration and desire. ]

You're gorgeous, Phil.

[ He means it. Phil may be busy comparing himself to Day and how he surely isn't a good match for him, but in Day's eyes Phil is as beautiful as he was when Day called him pretty at the ball. ]

[There's no mistaking the way Phil's eyes widen with surprise. Day was the first person to call him pretty, yes, but to Phil there's a vast gulf between "pretty" and "gorgeous," and while his lack of self-esteem can understand and accept the first (albeit still with a certain measure of doubt), to hear himself called the second... it's stunning, to say the least, and for a moment he almost forgets how to breathe.

Someone thinks he's gorgeous. Day thinks he's gorgeous. Him, pale and scrawny and fragile, looking like a strong breeze would blow him away, with one damaged and discolored eye that's barely even functional. There couldn't be a more stark physical contrast between him and Day, and yet Day finds him attractive even in spite of this, in spite of everything he lacks. Just as there's no mistaking the surprise in Phil's eyes, there's no mistaking the sheer want in Day's, either.]

... what are you thinking right now?

[He needs to hear it put into words, to hear from Day's own lips an affirmation of just how much he desires Phil, imperfections and all.]

[ Day shouldn't answer this. He knows he shouldn't because once he does, he's another step closer to taking back what he said earlier about wanting to wait until they're sober. Voicing it out loud would make him want to pin Phil to the bed and act on those fantasies.

But Day sees that surprise written all over Phil and that immediately makes him want to say it all anyway. Phil should know how beautiful he is and deserves to hear someone cherish every part of him, even the parts he considers unlovable. ]

How much I wanna hold you. [ And he holds his arms out as if beckoning Phil to climb back into the bed and his lap. ] That you oughta be marked up more, 'cause your skin's like a canvas. I wanna suck on your chest, and... [ He pauses to swallow the lump in his throat. ] H-hear you while I'm fuckin' you with my fingers. 'Bout you tremblin' 'round my cock.

[ He wants Phil so badly, imperfections and all. ]

[The moment Day opens his mouth, Phil realizes the error he just made. Day isn't the only one about to throw their earlier agreement to wait right out the window; briefly Phil thinks that if he just climbs back into Day's lap, a little bit of that oil would allow him to slip Day inside and take what he wants for himself, actually feel that cock instead of just trying to imagine what it will be like--]

Then do those things-- all of them.

[It's another uncharacteristically bold request, spurred on by the energy of the moment and the loosened inhibitions from the alcohol. He doesn't actually know what any of them will be like, but he knows he wants them so much that the throbbing between his legs reaches a near-painful level, all of the heat in his body concentrating itself and making itself known. He wants Day to show him all of these things and more, things he's sure he's never even imagined before but knows that he'll want once he learns about them; he wants those fingers and Day's mouth on him and more marks like the one on his shoulder and he wants them all at once because he's greedy and wants to seize what he's being offered so freely.

If Day wants to give, then he wants to take. After all, can it really be called greed if it's giving back to Day in its own way?]

Edited 2024-07-11 05:54 (UTC)

[ They're words that send heat right down between Day's legs, making him groan from sheer want because Phil being so bold is incredibly hot. He resumes his attempts to shimmy out of his pants, manages to get them down to his ankles and tries to wriggle them off his feet.

Phil can clearly see that bulge in Day's underwear, and...a fairly noticeable wet spot where his arousal is straining against the fabric. ]

Help me with this.

[ It was probably meant to be a request, instead it comes off more like either pleading or a command, depending on how Phil takes the way his voice is strained with desire. ]

[Phil intends to help, really, but when he catches sight of the clear evidence of just how turned on Day is, he can't help but stop and stare at the realization that this is all for him. Or, perhaps more accurately, all because of him, and that thought is a potent aphrodisiac in and of itself.

It may not be "helping" in the sense of the word that Day intended, but Phil can't stop himself from reaching out one hand to just run it lightly over that bulge, wanting to feel the reality of it for himself. And... oh. Even hidden beneath the fabric as it is, the size is apparent, and Phil can't keep himself from sucking in a sudden sharp breath as the realization sets in. (That's going to fit inside him... will it even fit? Suddenly he isn't sure.)]

Ah...

[ Phil earns a shuddering sigh from Day, his hips lifting to try and get more of that touch. It's not enough, it's too light. He looks at Phil sees the doubt beginning to settle there, and tilts his head. ]

Feelin' intimidated?

[ ...Which, well. Fair, really. ]

Just... just a bit.

[But Day lifting his hips like that spurs Phil on; his next touch is less uncertain, wanting to map out the contours through the fabric, try to build an image in his mind before he actually sees it for himself.]

You're, ah...

[Impressive? Large? Bigger than me? Phil isn't quite sure what the best way to end that sentence would be, so instead he just lets it trail off to focus on palming Day a little more firmly instead.]

Can—mmm...

[ Whatever he was going to say trails off as Day rolls his into Phil's hand, trying to rub into Phil's palm even as Phil is feeling him up. ]

Can always...take it slow. And there's always next time.

[ "Next time", he says like he's promising (hoping, rather) for more encounters. ]

Mmm.

[Phil hums his agreement, rubbing just a bit harder as Day pushes his hips into his hand.

... Day's shirt is still on, the buttons standing in triumphant victory over them both. But there are enough of them undone that it's slipping dangerously off one shoulder, revealing a tempting expanse of collarbone, and Phil finds he can't quite stop himself from leaning in and just letting his teeth graze lightly over the skin there.]

[ By now Day is trying to grind into Phil's palm in earnest, that wet spot only getting wetter and stickier still (and Day shudders at the idea of dirtying Phil's hand like this, which strays into thoughts of Phil's fingers wrapped around him just so). He's pleasantly surprised at the sensation of teeth brushing over his skin, and one hand reaches up to try and hold Phil there, urging him to keep going. ]

Feel like markin' me up too?

[ Oh, that sounds great, actually... ]

[Ah... Phil has to pause, a shiver running through his body when he feels the very physical proof of just how much Day is enjoying this (not that it's all that much of a surprise when he's in much the same state himself). Briefly he debates asking if they can stop to get Day equally naked, but Day's next question leads Phil's mind down another path, and he can't argue this particular detour.]

Can I?

[He'll be the first to admit that he doesn't exactly know how to do what Day did to him. But wouldn't figuring that out be part of the fun?]

Please.

[ That should tell Phil everything he needs to know. Day's forget-me-not heart could sing at the idea of being marked by Phil, because surely that means Phil will want to hold onto him. And Day can believe a little more that Phil will stay, even though Day isn't sure whether he'll be anything more than the morning mist in Phil's life when all is said and done. ]

[The heat in Day's voice is almost tangible, and now it's Phil's turn to exhale in a rush, all of the building tension in his body trying to find some way to escape before it sets him alight with need. Hesitantly he mouths at the soft skin over Day's collarbone, pressing a light kiss there before opening his mouth just enough to suck hard, scraping his teeth over the skin once again to see what sort of sounds he can draw out in the process. He wants to hear Day crying out just the same way he himself had earlier, so full of need that he can no longer hold himself back.

At the same time, the hand rubbing Day stills its motions as Phil slides it up, then back down again, beneath the waistband of Day's underwear this time to remove that final barrier between them. And now Day will be getting exactly what he'd been imagining in the form of Phil's fingers wrapping gently, tentatively around him and giving a slow, wondering stroke, too light to be much more than a tease but all the hotter for it.]

P-Phil...!

[ For his efforts, Phil gets to hear Day cry out his name, heated and breathy. He seems to be trying to hold back his other noises, keeping them from being too loud, but he can't help moaning. He bucks his hips up to try and get more of Phil's touch, needy and almost frustrated at being teased right now. The hand at the back of Phil's head starts moving lower, running a finger down the back of his neck and between Phil's shoulder blades heading down further south. ]

Please, this ain't enough...

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