[ Bruno gives another jump, though hardly as bad as the last time. C'mon, man, it isn't as if you don't summon things, too. ]
No? No one needs to tell me. [ Bruno admits as he slumps into the other chair. ] If I were any good at this, I would have known better than to give those matches to Khun. If I were stronger, I wouldn't be such a letdown to Akira. If I were smarter, I would have known to force myself to learn to... to fight...
[You think he asks permission for summons? lolololololol. Somewhere Barbatos cocks a gun.
He plops down into the other chair, leaning his elbows against his knees.]
You're very cruel with yourself, with all these "would have" talk. [It's gentle.]
You have a gift for prophecy. But that doesn't mean you can read others' minds or their needs, even if your heart feels that things must be a certain way. No one can do that.
I heard enough with your conversation with Khun. You made a judgement call, and it is not your fault that he decided he wouldn't use the gift you provided.
[They'll touch on that last topic at some point, but for now--]
...Akira doesn't view you in anything more than the highest regard, last I checked. So I'd like to know what exactly happened, if you're comfortable talking over it.
That's just it, I could have given those matches to anyone else. I could have given them to Jing Yuan and he would have used them on Urianger but... I just. I hoped Khun wasn't that cruel...
[ And him hoping people will be good or that people will understand him, it just keeps missing the mark, doesn't it? ]
And Akira... Akira just. He thinks he knows what's best, all the time, and that's so frustrating. When we were figuring out that fated pair spell thing. Honestly, I only brought it up to keep him from rushing off after you again. It was after you hexed me and that seemed like it was all he cared about and... and anyway...
[ That part is hardly the problem. ]
One part of the spell lets me destroy something and it's really, really violent, and I didn't want to use it, since I don't want to fight or hurt people or anything, but I guess he wanted me to learn that... wasn't something I could avoid, only... I mean. I figured he was going to make me use the cards against a monster when we set out, just. Just not that they'd be monsters who could talk and shapeshift and, man, it was such a mess...
[So Bruno was hesitant, and Akira wanted to push those boundaries, and he ended up pushing them way too far. It's unfortunate that that sounds about correct when it comes to Akira, and while Solomon's expression narrows, he doesn't look incredibly surprised. Just heavily disappointed.]
Mm. [He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, to let that anxious energy from Bruno have a moment to trickle out in the silence before they continue.]
Having hope in someone is not a mistake, Bruno.
[That, at least, he will stay firm on.]
It's on others to decide what to do with your good will, and it's not your responsibility to change them or take responsibility for their choices. Be disappointed in them if you must, be upset about the outcome. But there's no changing what's already happened. Khun has shown his hand, and the most you can do now is adjust your judgement.
Blaming yourself is just taking all of the responsibility off of him, when he has every capability to have taken action in good faith. You've done enough for him in keeping that conversation in a language very few could understand.
[He's not stupid. That in itself was an act of mercy, and exactly the reason why they're having this talk privately.]
As far as Akira's concerned... [He sighs as he pinches a hand against the bridge of his nose.] Truly, I wish that boy wasn't so much like me. I wouldn't be surprised if pushing to an extreme was how he felt he might get through to you, not realizing the full consequences of what it might do to you.
[ Bruno sighs out that admission. He hasn't. Once again, he's choosing avoidance. ]
It's hard to, y'know? I don't think he knew what to expect when he chose a bunch of sirens as a target.
Maybe if I hadn't tried talking things out first. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten a chance to do anything. But by the time everything got out of hand, they had turned into my sisters and. And Mirabel and. I knew they weren't them but that didn't make it easier to. To kill them.
And I imagine it hasn't exactly changed your mind about anything, either.
[If anything, he wonders if Bruno's just doubled down on his anxieties.]
...You should tell him. Just like you told me. He's not going to understand unless you're frank with him.
If it was truly an incident that got out of hand, he would have pulled you away. [So he has a feeling that Akira might have chosen that location, those monsters, on purpose.] He is not here to be your teacher. He's supposed to be a partner, whether by fate or otherwise. And that requires some sort of communication.
You need to meet one another on middle ground. He cannot drag you there and expect you to be frightened into action, just because he feels it may have worked for him or a loved one in the past.
Kinda hard to do that when he was having his own trouble with them. I had to use the explosion spell on the one that turned into Pepa. She... or. Or it. Whatever that was. It started mimicking her gift and was turning the weather against us.
[ Julieta and Mirabel were less dangerous. Physically, anyway. Emotionally, that's a different story. ]
It's been weeks since then. I'm not even sure how to bring it up again.
He's capable enough to protect himself, and cocky enough to tread a fine line with it. Difficult or not, it doesn't change the situation he put you in.
[Nor does it change that they've been at some sort of awkward impasse since then... had they been like this the whole time in the North? Oof.]
Hahah -- good, good. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply the opposite.
If it's a valuable relationship, then it's deserving of your courage to speak up when someone has wronged you. Akira did so for me, and it helped me realize the hurt I'd caused him with my actions.
I think your frank honesty about your feelings would be good for him. [A good lesson, an appreciation for the bonds that Akira treasured so much. His smile saddens slightly.] Just don't be too harsh on him, or on yourself, if he dips into that teenage melodrama of his.
Are you worried it will just come across the wrong way if you speak up?
Well, yeah? I don't think I've been great at getting how I feel across a lot of the time and not just with Akira. It's like all I do is cause problems when I try lately. Like with Khun and now Ithaqua is upset with Urianger because of me and how I pushed all my worries onto everyone else when I spoke about my visions and...
Geez, I don't know. I'm sure there's more that I don't even realize.
[ That earns a momentary look of surprise from Bruno. It's quickly followed by a weak, sad kind of laugh, though. ]
It takes years of experience to get this good at that. [ Too many years. ] I was hoping I was getting better about it but it feels like I've gone backward, huh?
You should really work on that one, y'know? Sounds a little dangerous.
[ Thankfully, Solomon survived that, meaning it feels fine to joke about it now. ]
I just wish I could see the progress you see. You, Ahito, Urianger... and... Akira, too, I guess... [ Maybe? ] I'll. I'll try and talk to him. I'm pretty sure we'll hit the same problem, though. I don't want to use magic that's, well, violent, but if there's a fight coming, that's what everyone is going to want me to do...
Are you saying that because it's true, or because that's what Akira just tried to drive into your skull? Because that is not what I saw at that meeting.
Well, okay, Ahito isn't but... I mean... isn't it a given? I have to do more than stand by and wait for someone to get hurt. I. I mean, I don't want to stand by and wait for that, too.
[ On top of that, there's also, ]
And I don't want people to think they need to always protect me. What if something happens where they need to choose between me and themselves...? Or to do something important but they can't, because I'm in trouble? No one really got that when I said I didn't want to be a burden.
[To be a supportive role takes about as much confidence as an offensive role, in his opinion. Knowing what you're providing, knowing your place in the puzzle... it's still important.]
Well, first... do you want to trust them to choose what's more important in the moment? Sometimes that might very well be you, and that may not be something you can change.
Can you trust them with their own judgement in the moment?
[ That's a difficult question. Can he trust their judgment? Can he trust he won't freak out when they do decide he's what's important to protect? ]
I... don't know. What if what we think is important at that moment is different? I mean, Urianger was stable. Khun. He decided not to heal him because of that... and I disagreed... Was what I did even sensible? Taking the matches back like that?
Don't overthink it. We don't know a lot of the factors, or what sort of time they had to work with. Let's focus on what we know.
Did you trust Khun to make the right decision when you gave him those matches? Did you think he didnt make the right decision when you saw Urianger, and did you just make what you thought was the best decision at the time?
I wanted to but... I'm not stupid. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't care to use them. I trusted him anyway.
[ It was a calculated risk and, apparently, Bruno is bad at math. ]
When the Western wizards got back and I saw how Urianger was, I was just so angry about it. I had put so much work into those matches to avoid anyone having to come back hurt and it still happened. When I took them back, I dunno, it was a snap decision.
It is your magic, and a powerful amount of it. It's okay to want that in the right hands if you think someone was too stingy.
[He folds his hands loosely.]
Would you want him holding off like that again, were he to get a second chance? Or do you think you would be more comfortable with someone who would use it more freely?
I'm not asking what would be the right or wrong decision here, Bruno. I'm asking what you want done with your magic.
[ What he wants done with his magic, no right or wrong decision? ]
I want it to be used freely. [ Bruno doesn't even have to think hard about that one. That's what he wants. He knows it. ] I don't want people holding onto them when someone is hurt just because of some what if that might never happen.
[ you know, like how you save all your potions in a video game, just in case, but then you end up with 300 of them at the end ]
[It's not a surprise to him. Bruno isn't a selfish person in the slightest. He's just a bit of a coward.]
If you want to work things out with Khun and express what's important to you, you need to give him that ultimatum and let him decide how to answer. A dialogue first, action second.
Otherwise... I'm sure there are others who will gladly respect your wishes. At bare minimum, Bruno, you deserve to expect that.
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No? No one needs to tell me. [ Bruno admits as he slumps into the other chair. ] If I were any good at this, I would have known better than to give those matches to Khun. If I were stronger, I wouldn't be such a letdown to Akira. If I were smarter, I would have known to force myself to learn to... to fight...
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He plops down into the other chair, leaning his elbows against his knees.]
You're very cruel with yourself, with all these "would have" talk. [It's gentle.]
You have a gift for prophecy. But that doesn't mean you can read others' minds or their needs, even if your heart feels that things must be a certain way. No one can do that.
I heard enough with your conversation with Khun. You made a judgement call, and it is not your fault that he decided he wouldn't use the gift you provided.
[They'll touch on that last topic at some point, but for now--]
...Akira doesn't view you in anything more than the highest regard, last I checked. So I'd like to know what exactly happened, if you're comfortable talking over it.
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[ And him hoping people will be good or that people will understand him, it just keeps missing the mark, doesn't it? ]
And Akira... Akira just. He thinks he knows what's best, all the time, and that's so frustrating. When we were figuring out that fated pair spell thing. Honestly, I only brought it up to keep him from rushing off after you again. It was after you hexed me and that seemed like it was all he cared about and... and anyway...
[ That part is hardly the problem. ]
One part of the spell lets me destroy something and it's really, really violent, and I didn't want to use it, since I don't want to fight or hurt people or anything, but I guess he wanted me to learn that... wasn't something I could avoid, only... I mean. I figured he was going to make me use the cards against a monster when we set out, just. Just not that they'd be monsters who could talk and shapeshift and, man, it was such a mess...
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Mm. [He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, to let that anxious energy from Bruno have a moment to trickle out in the silence before they continue.]
Having hope in someone is not a mistake, Bruno.
[That, at least, he will stay firm on.]
It's on others to decide what to do with your good will, and it's not your responsibility to change them or take responsibility for their choices. Be disappointed in them if you must, be upset about the outcome. But there's no changing what's already happened. Khun has shown his hand, and the most you can do now is adjust your judgement.
Blaming yourself is just taking all of the responsibility off of him, when he has every capability to have taken action in good faith. You've done enough for him in keeping that conversation in a language very few could understand.
[He's not stupid. That in itself was an act of mercy, and exactly the reason why they're having this talk privately.]
As far as Akira's concerned... [He sighs as he pinches a hand against the bridge of his nose.] Truly, I wish that boy wasn't so much like me. I wouldn't be surprised if pushing to an extreme was how he felt he might get through to you, not realizing the full consequences of what it might do to you.
Have you at least told him as much?
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[ Bruno sighs out that admission. He hasn't. Once again, he's choosing avoidance. ]
It's hard to, y'know? I don't think he knew what to expect when he chose a bunch of sirens as a target.
Maybe if I hadn't tried talking things out first. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten a chance to do anything. But by the time everything got out of hand, they had turned into my sisters and. And Mirabel and. I knew they weren't them but that didn't make it easier to. To kill them.
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And I imagine it hasn't exactly changed your mind about anything, either.
[If anything, he wonders if Bruno's just doubled down on his anxieties.]
...You should tell him. Just like you told me. He's not going to understand unless you're frank with him.
If it was truly an incident that got out of hand, he would have pulled you away. [So he has a feeling that Akira might have chosen that location, those monsters, on purpose.] He is not here to be your teacher. He's supposed to be a partner, whether by fate or otherwise. And that requires some sort of communication.
You need to meet one another on middle ground. He cannot drag you there and expect you to be frightened into action, just because he feels it may have worked for him or a loved one in the past.
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Kinda hard to do that when he was having his own trouble with them. I had to use the explosion spell on the one that turned into Pepa. She... or. Or it. Whatever that was. It started mimicking her gift and was turning the weather against us.
[ Julieta and Mirabel were less dangerous. Physically, anyway. Emotionally, that's a different story. ]
It's been weeks since then. I'm not even sure how to bring it up again.
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[Nor does it change that they've been at some sort of awkward impasse since then... had they been like this the whole time in the North? Oof.]
...
Is the relationship one you want to repair?
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[ That has Bruno looking up from the floor and at Solomon. ]
Of course! I mean, I don't... it's not like I hate him for what happened or anything!
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If it's a valuable relationship, then it's deserving of your courage to speak up when someone has wronged you. Akira did so for me, and it helped me realize the hurt I'd caused him with my actions.
I think your frank honesty about your feelings would be good for him. [A good lesson, an appreciation for the bonds that Akira treasured so much. His smile saddens slightly.] Just don't be too harsh on him, or on yourself, if he dips into that teenage melodrama of his.
Are you worried it will just come across the wrong way if you speak up?
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Geez, I don't know. I'm sure there's more that I don't even realize.
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You're really very good at spinning it to somehow be your fault. I'd be impressed in any other situation.
[Jokes aside:]
You spoke out to Khun out of honesty and care. You expressed your visions out of the same. It's natural to be worried and frustrated.
But others' reactions, good or bad, are not "causing a problem".
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It takes years of experience to get this good at that. [ Too many years. ] I was hoping I was getting better about it but it feels like I've gone backward, huh?
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[Little things, y'know.]
You are making progress, though, Bruno. Noticably. A step or two backward due to conflict doesn't magically negate that.
Think of it as an opportunity to challenge yourself.
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[ Thankfully, Solomon survived that, meaning it feels fine to joke about it now. ]
I just wish I could see the progress you see. You, Ahito, Urianger... and... Akira, too, I guess... [ Maybe? ] I'll. I'll try and talk to him. I'm pretty sure we'll hit the same problem, though. I don't want to use magic that's, well, violent, but if there's a fight coming, that's what everyone is going to want me to do...
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[Doubt!]
Are you saying that because it's true, or because that's what Akira just tried to drive into your skull? Because that is not what I saw at that meeting.
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[ On top of that, there's also, ]
And I don't want people to think they need to always protect me. What if something happens where they need to choose between me and themselves...? Or to do something important but they can't, because I'm in trouble? No one really got that when I said I didn't want to be a burden.
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[To be a supportive role takes about as much confidence as an offensive role, in his opinion. Knowing what you're providing, knowing your place in the puzzle... it's still important.]
Well, first... do you want to trust them to choose what's more important in the moment? Sometimes that might very well be you, and that may not be something you can change.
Can you trust them with their own judgement in the moment?
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I... don't know. What if what we think is important at that moment is different? I mean, Urianger was stable. Khun. He decided not to heal him because of that... and I disagreed... Was what I did even sensible? Taking the matches back like that?
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Did you trust Khun to make the right decision when you gave him those matches? Did you think he didnt make the right decision when you saw Urianger, and did you just make what you thought was the best decision at the time?
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[ It was a calculated risk and, apparently, Bruno is bad at math. ]
When the Western wizards got back and I saw how Urianger was, I was just so angry about it. I had put so much work into those matches to avoid anyone having to come back hurt and it still happened. When I took them back, I dunno, it was a snap decision.
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[He folds his hands loosely.]
Would you want him holding off like that again, were he to get a second chance? Or do you think you would be more comfortable with someone who would use it more freely?
I'm not asking what would be the right or wrong decision here, Bruno. I'm asking what you want done with your magic.
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I want it to be used freely. [ Bruno doesn't even have to think hard about that one. That's what he wants. He knows it. ] I don't want people holding onto them when someone is hurt just because of some what if that might never happen.
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you know, like how you save all your potions in a video game, just in case, but then you end up with 300 of them at the end]no subject
[It's not a surprise to him. Bruno isn't a selfish person in the slightest. He's just a bit of a coward.]
If you want to work things out with Khun and express what's important to you, you need to give him that ultimatum and let him decide how to answer. A dialogue first, action second.
Otherwise... I'm sure there are others who will gladly respect your wishes. At bare minimum, Bruno, you deserve to expect that.
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