Heheh! [Ithaqua accepts Urianger's hand, and allows himself to "fall" gracefully into his lover's arms. While still supporting his own weight, of course.]
It's simply a short climb, and I am refreshed.
[Until the next time he feels sleepy during the day.]
[Good thing Ithaqua is supporting himself too because the move takes Urianger by surprise. They could've both ended up on the floor.]
Be that as it may... [He properly embraces Ithaqua as if he'd truly fallen into him.] I would escort thee to thy room once we have finished here.
[Just so he doesn't have to worry about the image of seeing Ithaqua drop from the wall on his way back.]
Art thou here to visit? I can make us some tea.
[And now that Ithaqua is properly in the room, he's free to take in the sights of clutter in just about every corner of it. Stacks of books, papers, experimental tools, you name it. Urianger is not very organized, as it happens.]
I am indeed here for a visit. [Accompanied by a nuzzle to the underside of Urianger's chin.] And given I am also here to continue our little chat, something to wet my throat wouldn't go amiss.
[Even if a cuddle on the bed would be quite nice... Ithaqua would like to stay awake. Especially when this is his first time in his lover's room. It's cozy, it smells of books, it seems wonderful. Perhaps he'll sleep here, and not return to his room until tomorrow.]
[Such a sweet gesture deserves something in return, so Urianger plants a kiss atop Ithaqua's head.]
I see. I have not forgotten where we left off.
[How could he? It was such a cliffhanger! But obviously he hasn't rushed the continuation. Ithaqua needed the rest.
He pulls back enough to motion toward the couch.]
Thou art welcome to make thyself comfortable. I shan't be long.
[And he'll still be in the room! He has a little tea and coffee station set up on one of the several tables scattered about the room. It's more convenient than having to go down to the kitchen all the time.]
[Urianger confirms as he begins fixing the tea. He has a little burner to put the kettle on, and he gets a flame going with the use of magic. May as well use it for menial tasks too, right?
He starts going through his small collection of tea, seeking out a fruit blend.]
Thou didst provide me with quite a scare, however, until I realized thou wert resting peacefully.
Haaah... [Ithaqua rubs his face.] I apologize. I was... tired, and you were so comfortable.
[Warm but not too warm, and soft as well. He'd probably be able to nap on Urianger again even without being so exhausted.]
Well, because you have waited for so long, I shall offer you the most simple answer-- my visage is a terrible sight that drives away those who would see it... And not because of my eyes.
Thou hast nothing to apologize for. [He sets up two mugs and places a tea bag in each.] Though I am glad to have provided comfort to thee. Thou didst deserve a good rest after the mission.
[That being said, the short answer to his original question isn't what he was expecting at all. He turns from the table to face Ithaqua with furrowed eyebrows.]
Thine identity itself is the reason? What hast thou done to garner such a reputation?
[Their discussion about humans and why Ithaqua became what he is plays a role, Urianger's sure. But Ithaqua doesn't seem to regret his transformation, so why the need to retreat behind a mask?
The kettle begins to whistle, drawing Urianger's attention away for a moment to finish preparing their tea. He joins Ithaqua shortly after, setting their mugs on the coffee table to steep while they talk.
As I have said, I must start at the beginning. [He runs a hand through his hair, before tucking a lock behind an ear.]
Did you notice? How Mother and I do not resemble one another. [After all, she had red hair and a long face, but Ithaqua is silver-blond with a round face, thinned from work and exertion.]
She found me in the forest in the dead of winter, and that is where she raised me.
But did you know? If a child was abandoned, then there must have been someone to abandon them. [And this is where they're headed.] That family had two sons that night, but one had been born dead, so they sought to be rid of it. How convenient, then, that the neighbouring forest was not inaccessible, and that the blizzards would eventually bury the body, never to be seen again?
[Urianger remains quiet as Ithaqua begins his story, listening attentively. He did indeed notice the physical differences between Ithaqua and his mother, but it's a scenario he's familiar with. It's quite an interesting coincidence that the two of them would have experience with being abandoned and adopted into another family. But...the circumstances are not at all the same, as Ithaqua goes on to describe.
He pales as he takes in the scene that Ithaqua weaves with his words, gripping at his robes. He almost finds himself reaching for his lover's hand, but can't be sure if Ithaqua would appreciate an act of sympathy in the moment.]
But thou yet lived. [...] Wherefore would they choose to dispose of thee so? Had they truly thought thee to be dead, why not give thee proper rites? Thou wert but an infant...
If a child were born dead, then it is the product of an impure mother and a demon, or a witch's curse-- or both. Given the family was an influential one living in a deeply religious town, news of this would have been unacceptable. Disastrous, even. [He waves a hand as if to emphasize.] The magistrate's wife, bearing the child of the devil? The entire family would have been burned or stoned.
[Then he leans forward, uncurling and placing his feet on the floor.]
But do not be mistaken-- I was dead, and Mother revived me when she found me. The magistrate's wife might or might not have been a witch, but she was.
And I have already told you that they do not like witches. [Which is a very good segue into the next part of his story.]
[The reasoning both explains nothing and everything. Religion is a powerful force, and to think it was that strict and deeply-rooted in this town...]
I still find it impossible to abide by. Was their fear truly so overpowering that it outmatched the love for their unborn child...?
[Obviously it was. Ithaqua's corpse wouldn't have ended up in the forest otherwise. What if his mother hadn't found him? He'd have been left there, without even a proper burial. It's difficult to think about, it really is. And he hasn't even started thinking deeply about how she managed to revive Ithaqua just yet. That should be quite literally impossible, so how...?
Well, he'll put a pin in that thought for now.]
I take it thy mother made her home in the forest precisely because of her status.
[What love? How would you love someone you'd never met before?]
Yes. She was running for her life the very night I was born. She never told me that she had been fleeing the witch hunters, nor that I'd been adopted. I was raised ignorant up to the day the witch hunters found her again, led by a man who had my face.
[Ithaqua didn't mention that he had blood family for nothing, after all. He also took great care to mention that he was only one of two sons born that night earlier.
Then he leans forward, and takes Urianger's hand in his, as if Urianger is the one who needs comfort.]
I shall spare you the details of what happened to her, but just know that everything he did to her burned such horrors into her mind that she could no longer look upon me and see her own son. She could only see him. I believe she no longer knows who she is, much less that that she has a son.
Because I must care for her now, I require the mask to keep her calm.
[And... well. He has a terrible, cruel twin and he would rather not have to see the same face when he looks in the mirror.]
[It's an awful, awful twist of fate on so many levels. By the time Ithaqua finishes his tale, Urianger finds himself gripping tightly against his lover's hand.]
'Tis of little wonder that thou wouldst harbor animosity toward humankind following such events, yet to think thy twin brother would be the instigator...
[He shakes his head. He can still hardly believe it, but it's the truth.]
Ithaqua... I am truly sorry to hear of the horrors that thou and thy mother endured.
We both lived, in some manner. [But he cannot consider his mother enjoying life... Still, he has to hope that one day, she will return to herself.]
That is why I began to fight, why I threw everything away in order to turn into a monster-- though she already saw a monster on my face, and screamed as if viewing untold horrors whenever I met her with my face bare. It's not a pleasant visage, in any case. [Especially when that twin made such ugly expressions that Ithaqua just does not want to see them on his own.
Then he reaches out to cup Urianger's cheek.]
I've not been considered human in so long, but what I shall become in the future, I do not know yet because I don't believe the transformation is close to ending.
[Urianger finds himself leaning into that hand, though it really shouldn't be him being the one comforted. Even so...it pains him to hear all of this. He can't even begin to imagine Ithaqua's despair when this all went down. But Ithaqua seems to have made relative peace with his situation- or at the very least he's carrying on in spite of it.]
...How much time hath passed since thy transformation began?
[He'll start there. He...isn't sure how to broach the subject of Ithaqua's appearance yet- of how that beautiful face has been marred by the memory of the one who shared it.]
I do not remember. [Which is true-- it's been a while, and the days have blurred together, waking, checking on his mother, patrolling, preparing for the day (night), household maintenance, resting when the sun comes, waking once more. An endless cycle.]
I remember... that they had begun calling me all sorts of titles, and names, creatures from their books and tales. That had happened sometime after I began hunting intruders in earnest. Word spreads fast.
I cannot tell from my appearance, either. [He looks down at his hands. While his palms are calloused from hard work, the back of them are smooth. Youthful.] I rarely look at myself in the mirror since the incident, but I know that I have not aged much.
Aye. Thou dost appear youthful- mayhap a few summers younger than myself.
[Which brings an unfortunate implication with it. If Ithaqua does not age...he'll very quickly outlive Urianger. It's difficult to think about, but it's important to do so. Perhaps...at another time they'll discuss it. One difficult subject and subsequent step at a time.
For now, Urianger reaches up to place his free hand against Ithaqua's cheek, mirroring what the other had done for him. He runs his hand along the jawline as he had done when they had their first kiss. This time, however, there's a heaviness to his gaze that seeps into his words.]
No matter how drastic thy transformation becometh, I shall not leave thy side. Thou hast fought to protect alone for so long...'tis time for that to change.
[This is not Urianger saying he wants to join in the hunt, far from it. Ithaqua can probably figure that much. But he does want to be there for him in some way.]
[Ithaqua knows he passed his twentieth year sometime ago, his mother even remarked on it because she still had her mind. But how long ago was that?
Nevertheless, the single gesture from Urianger makes him feel... seen. As if he knows what Ithaqua is working through now, perhaps even better than the beast himself. Ithaqua never really stopped to think about the implications of his situation, not until now, but Urianger has made him truly think. It's a horrifying situation, but he thinks that his lover is also sharing the burden with him.
Words are not enough to describe how deeply he appreciates that.]
I adore you. You are the most empathetic man I have ever met, honourable and kind yet willing to take on this horrible burden with me. [Then he leans in, and murmurs a single word into Urianger's ear. A single name. It may just sound like a Midlander name to him.]
She used to call me that-- it's now yours, and yours alone. [No one else is allowed, basically.]
[It floors Urianger to receive such praise, and he almost shies away from it on principle.]
...Ne'er again did I expect to be called honorable after my time spent in the shadows.
[He mentioned something along those lines during the memory Ithaqua witnessed. About subterfuge no longer being necessary and how he wanted to support his friends by their sides.]
Until recently, I bore an incredible weight of guilt over my inability to do right by my friends. I lamented mine actions, for while I labored for the good of the star, I did so at the expense of those I held close. I colluded with our enemies, I held secrets, I made sacrifices that were not mine to make.
But no longer. I made this decision at the edge of existence with the fate of Etheirys at stake, as thou witnessed. I reiterated this decision to thee then, and I shall do so again now. [He gently rubs his thumb against Ithaqua's cheek.] I shall support thee with everything that I have, for as long as I have with thee.
[Then comes another big surprise: Ithaqua's true name. He repeats that whispered word, letting it settle and committing it to memory.]
Thy mother chose a fine name for thee. [...] This secret I believe I can make an exception for. I shall keep it close to my heart.
Absolving you of your since is not a choice for me to make, nor is it among any of my abilities. [Ithaqua turns his head to press a kiss into Urianger's palm and nuzzles it after like a cat.]
But as you have pledged, so shall I. I shall be there to support you-- or enforce any decision you make. I am not a creature of rigid morality, any decision you make shan't scandalize me. I am fully capable of sullying my hands, so you don't have to.
[It's quite close to being a wizard's promise, but not quite. Not yet-- Ithaqua wants his first wizard's promise to be his last, to have enough gravity that nothing else he shall attempt will be able to come close. That he won't even consider making any other wizard's promise, because the one he'll potentially make with Urianger is enough for lifetimes.
As for the name? He's finally given it to someone else, and he's glad for it. Perhaps it won't be forgotten to time, and there shall be a chance he will hear it once more.]
[He breathes out Ithaqua's true name, shaking his head.]
Thou needst not sully thy hands for me. In an ideal world, we would not need to at all.
[He appreciates the sentiment, he really does. But he'd feel bad if his lover bore his burdens for him. This can be a team effort.
With their not-quite wizard promises settled...he leans back to gaze upon Ithaqua.]
I thank thee...for telling me thy tale. Thou hast endured tragedy most unimaginable. I hope thou canst find a small amount of comfort in knowing that I shall carry this knowledge with the gravitas it doth deserve.
[A smile blooms on Ithaqua's face, slowly, softly. Then he beckons Urianger to come in.]
Here, come here and let me embrace you. You think I shall find only a small amount of comfort? Truly? You gave me your ear, and did not judge me for my decisions, that is so much more than anyone has granted me.
How am I so fortunate to find you in this lifetime?
W-Well... [It's enough to make him stumble, just a little.] I knew not how thou wouldst respond had I offered more than mine ear.
[Whether or not Ithaqua wanted any pity, that is to say. But none of Urianger's is hollow. He feels deeply emotional about what his lover went through. The past cannot be changed, but at least he can support Ithaqua through whatever may come next.
Holding out his arms, he returns for that embrace. Their tea is probably stone cold and over-steeped at this point. Oh well.]
I should ask the same. 'Tis difficult to imagine that our paths would have never crossed, had it not been for the forces that brought us here.
You already gave me your heart. [And now, his shoulder, which Ithaqua nuzzles into. He's not even thinking about tea, anymore.] You clearly listened with that as well, and I cannot help but adore you more.
[He will have to make the most of their time together, for as long as they can.]
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It's simply a short climb, and I am refreshed.
[Until the next time he feels sleepy during the day.]
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Be that as it may... [He properly embraces Ithaqua as if he'd truly fallen into him.] I would escort thee to thy room once we have finished here.
[Just so he doesn't have to worry about the image of seeing Ithaqua drop from the wall on his way back.]
Art thou here to visit? I can make us some tea.
[And now that Ithaqua is properly in the room, he's free to take in the sights of clutter in just about every corner of it. Stacks of books, papers, experimental tools, you name it. Urianger is not very organized, as it happens.]
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[Even if a cuddle on the bed would be quite nice... Ithaqua would like to stay awake. Especially when this is his first time in his lover's room. It's cozy, it smells of books, it seems wonderful. Perhaps he'll sleep here, and not return to his room until tomorrow.]
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I see. I have not forgotten where we left off.
[How could he? It was such a cliffhanger! But obviously he hasn't rushed the continuation. Ithaqua needed the rest.
He pulls back enough to motion toward the couch.]
Thou art welcome to make thyself comfortable. I shan't be long.
[And he'll still be in the room! He has a little tea and coffee station set up on one of the several tables scattered about the room. It's more convenient than having to go down to the kitchen all the time.]
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Where did I leave off? Mm... I never got started, did I?
[Sorry about that, dear.]
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[Urianger confirms as he begins fixing the tea. He has a little burner to put the kettle on, and he gets a flame going with the use of magic. May as well use it for menial tasks too, right?
He starts going through his small collection of tea, seeking out a fruit blend.]
Thou didst provide me with quite a scare, however, until I realized thou wert resting peacefully.
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[Warm but not too warm, and soft as well. He'd probably be able to nap on Urianger again even without being so exhausted.]
Well, because you have waited for so long, I shall offer you the most simple answer-- my visage is a terrible sight that drives away those who would see it... And not because of my eyes.
The true, more detailed answer is indeed long.
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[That being said, the short answer to his original question isn't what he was expecting at all. He turns from the table to face Ithaqua with furrowed eyebrows.]
Thine identity itself is the reason? What hast thou done to garner such a reputation?
[Their discussion about humans and why Ithaqua became what he is plays a role, Urianger's sure. But Ithaqua doesn't seem to regret his transformation, so why the need to retreat behind a mask?
The kettle begins to whistle, drawing Urianger's attention away for a moment to finish preparing their tea. He joins Ithaqua shortly after, setting their mugs on the coffee table to steep while they talk.
Time to settle in for a long story.]
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Did you notice? How Mother and I do not resemble one another. [After all, she had red hair and a long face, but Ithaqua is silver-blond with a round face, thinned from work and exertion.]
She found me in the forest in the dead of winter, and that is where she raised me.
But did you know? If a child was abandoned, then there must have been someone to abandon them. [And this is where they're headed.] That family had two sons that night, but one had been born dead, so they sought to be rid of it. How convenient, then, that the neighbouring forest was not inaccessible, and that the blizzards would eventually bury the body, never to be seen again?
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He pales as he takes in the scene that Ithaqua weaves with his words, gripping at his robes. He almost finds himself reaching for his lover's hand, but can't be sure if Ithaqua would appreciate an act of sympathy in the moment.]
But thou yet lived. [...] Wherefore would they choose to dispose of thee so? Had they truly thought thee to be dead, why not give thee proper rites? Thou wert but an infant...
[It's deplorable.]
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[Then he leans forward, uncurling and placing his feet on the floor.]
But do not be mistaken-- I was dead, and Mother revived me when she found me. The magistrate's wife might or might not have been a witch, but she was.
And I have already told you that they do not like witches. [Which is a very good segue into the next part of his story.]
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I still find it impossible to abide by. Was their fear truly so overpowering that it outmatched the love for their unborn child...?
[Obviously it was. Ithaqua's corpse wouldn't have ended up in the forest otherwise. What if his mother hadn't found him? He'd have been left there, without even a proper burial. It's difficult to think about, it really is. And he hasn't even started thinking deeply about how she managed to revive Ithaqua just yet. That should be quite literally impossible, so how...?
Well, he'll put a pin in that thought for now.]
I take it thy mother made her home in the forest precisely because of her status.
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Yes. She was running for her life the very night I was born. She never told me that she had been fleeing the witch hunters, nor that I'd been adopted. I was raised ignorant up to the day the witch hunters found her again, led by a man who had my face.
[Ithaqua didn't mention that he had blood family for nothing, after all. He also took great care to mention that he was only one of two sons born that night earlier.
Then he leans forward, and takes Urianger's hand in his, as if Urianger is the one who needs comfort.]
I shall spare you the details of what happened to her, but just know that everything he did to her burned such horrors into her mind that she could no longer look upon me and see her own son. She could only see him. I believe she no longer knows who she is, much less that that she has a son.
Because I must care for her now, I require the mask to keep her calm.
[And... well. He has a terrible, cruel twin and he would rather not have to see the same face when he looks in the mirror.]
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'Tis of little wonder that thou wouldst harbor animosity toward humankind following such events, yet to think thy twin brother would be the instigator...
[He shakes his head. He can still hardly believe it, but it's the truth.]
Ithaqua... I am truly sorry to hear of the horrors that thou and thy mother endured.
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That is why I began to fight, why I threw everything away in order to turn into a monster-- though she already saw a monster on my face, and screamed as if viewing untold horrors whenever I met her with my face bare. It's not a pleasant visage, in any case. [Especially when that twin made such ugly expressions that Ithaqua just does not want to see them on his own.
Then he reaches out to cup Urianger's cheek.]
I've not been considered human in so long, but what I shall become in the future, I do not know yet because I don't believe the transformation is close to ending.
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[Urianger finds himself leaning into that hand, though it really shouldn't be him being the one comforted. Even so...it pains him to hear all of this. He can't even begin to imagine Ithaqua's despair when this all went down. But Ithaqua seems to have made relative peace with his situation- or at the very least he's carrying on in spite of it.]
...How much time hath passed since thy transformation began?
[He'll start there. He...isn't sure how to broach the subject of Ithaqua's appearance yet- of how that beautiful face has been marred by the memory of the one who shared it.]
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I remember... that they had begun calling me all sorts of titles, and names, creatures from their books and tales. That had happened sometime after I began hunting intruders in earnest. Word spreads fast.
I cannot tell from my appearance, either. [He looks down at his hands. While his palms are calloused from hard work, the back of them are smooth. Youthful.] I rarely look at myself in the mirror since the incident, but I know that I have not aged much.
[Or at all.]
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[Which brings an unfortunate implication with it. If Ithaqua does not age...he'll very quickly outlive Urianger. It's difficult to think about, but it's important to do so. Perhaps...at another time they'll discuss it. One difficult subject and subsequent step at a time.
For now, Urianger reaches up to place his free hand against Ithaqua's cheek, mirroring what the other had done for him. He runs his hand along the jawline as he had done when they had their first kiss. This time, however, there's a heaviness to his gaze that seeps into his words.]
No matter how drastic thy transformation becometh, I shall not leave thy side. Thou hast fought to protect alone for so long...'tis time for that to change.
[This is not Urianger saying he wants to join in the hunt, far from it. Ithaqua can probably figure that much. But he does want to be there for him in some way.]
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Nevertheless, the single gesture from Urianger makes him feel... seen. As if he knows what Ithaqua is working through now, perhaps even better than the beast himself. Ithaqua never really stopped to think about the implications of his situation, not until now, but Urianger has made him truly think. It's a horrifying situation, but he thinks that his lover is also sharing the burden with him.
Words are not enough to describe how deeply he appreciates that.]
I adore you. You are the most empathetic man I have ever met, honourable and kind yet willing to take on this horrible burden with me. [Then he leans in, and murmurs a single word into Urianger's ear. A single name.
It may just sound like a Midlander name to him.]She used to call me that-- it's now yours, and yours alone. [No one else is allowed, basically.]
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...Ne'er again did I expect to be called honorable after my time spent in the shadows.
[He mentioned something along those lines during the memory Ithaqua witnessed. About subterfuge no longer being necessary and how he wanted to support his friends by their sides.]
Until recently, I bore an incredible weight of guilt over my inability to do right by my friends. I lamented mine actions, for while I labored for the good of the star, I did so at the expense of those I held close. I colluded with our enemies, I held secrets, I made sacrifices that were not mine to make.
But no longer. I made this decision at the edge of existence with the fate of Etheirys at stake, as thou witnessed. I reiterated this decision to thee then, and I shall do so again now. [He gently rubs his thumb against Ithaqua's cheek.] I shall support thee with everything that I have, for as long as I have with thee.
[Then comes another big surprise: Ithaqua's true name. He repeats that whispered word, letting it settle and committing it to memory.]
Thy mother chose a fine name for thee. [...] This secret I believe I can make an exception for. I shall keep it close to my heart.
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But as you have pledged, so shall I. I shall be there to support you-- or enforce any decision you make. I am not a creature of rigid morality, any decision you make shan't scandalize me. I am fully capable of sullying my hands, so you don't have to.
[It's quite close to being a wizard's promise, but not quite. Not yet-- Ithaqua wants his first wizard's promise to be his last, to have enough gravity that nothing else he shall attempt will be able to come close. That he won't even consider making any other wizard's promise, because the one he'll potentially make with Urianger is enough for lifetimes.
As for the name? He's finally given it to someone else, and he's glad for it. Perhaps it won't be forgotten to time, and there shall be a chance he will hear it once more.]
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Thou needst not sully thy hands for me. In an ideal world, we would not need to at all.
[He appreciates the sentiment, he really does. But he'd feel bad if his lover bore his burdens for him. This can be a team effort.
With their not-quite wizard promises settled...he leans back to gaze upon Ithaqua.]
I thank thee...for telling me thy tale. Thou hast endured tragedy most unimaginable. I hope thou canst find a small amount of comfort in knowing that I shall carry this knowledge with the gravitas it doth deserve.
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Here, come here and let me embrace you. You think I shall find only a small amount of comfort? Truly? You gave me your ear, and did not judge me for my decisions, that is so much more than anyone has granted me.
How am I so fortunate to find you in this lifetime?
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[Whether or not Ithaqua wanted any pity, that is to say. But none of Urianger's is hollow. He feels deeply emotional about what his lover went through. The past cannot be changed, but at least he can support Ithaqua through whatever may come next.
Holding out his arms, he returns for that embrace. Their tea is probably stone cold and over-steeped at this point. Oh well.]
I should ask the same. 'Tis difficult to imagine that our paths would have never crossed, had it not been for the forces that brought us here.
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[He will have to make the most of their time together, for as long as they can.]
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