[ Day could have said all of that and it wouldn't have mattered to Ginger, not one bit. So what if he's used to danger? So what if he's taken more risks than Ginger can imagine? So what? ]
No. Stay with me.
[ He bites back an apology, because this is something he has to argue. He can't bend. You're the one who thinks you're leaving first - from the rest of my eternal life, from my memories. ]
You act like we don't have forever, but you'll put yourself in danger with that precious time we have? Really, Day?
[ "Stay with me" is what grounds Day from whatever heated response might have been brewing in his head, makes it clear without uncertainty that Ginger is acting like this because he wants to keep Day. In a different circumstance, it would have warmed his heart (it still kind of does), but right now it's warring with exasperation because it seems their feelings aren't meeting in the middle. They're both being stubborn because they care about each other, but...
Day doesn't say anything for a long moment. He tries to steady his emotions because he wants to be calm saying this, if not serene. ]
I'm doin' this because I want to help you, Ginger. [ There are other reasons too, pragmatic and selfish or even self-gratifying, but this is the one that matters to Day the most. ] I know Mika means the world to you, so if I can do anything to protect him [ (to protect Ginger's heart) ], I'm willin' to take risks for it. I thought about however many other ways to do it, and this is the one I'm willin' to take. And I think the odds are worth it.
I know you're scared that if somethin' happens to me, there ain't gonna be anything you can do about it. [ And they'll probably have to talk about that too, at some point. All the worthwhile things Day has and will want to do will carry risk, and Day will have to go to do those things. ] And...normally, I'd be happy that you want me to stay. But when you say you'll commit everything and bear all the risk while tellin' me I can't do the same, I feel like I'm being left behind. Like I ain't supposed to be by your side.
[ Even though this whole thing is his idea, so he should also take some responsibility for it, and Day had hoped maybe... ]
[ If they’re doing anything together, why does it have to be this terrible, risky thing?
His nightmare plays out with each word: ]
If something happens… if things go wrong in the worst way - Mika dodges death once, but he’s still in danger, and you and I are compromised.
You’re helpless to do anything. So am I. He’ll risk his life again. He dies, then you die trying to help him or me - because you’re smarter, faster, and you... [ His voice breaks in frustration. ] You would put me first. And if I don’t die - that’s forever for me, Day. How is that together? It’ll just be me living like all of me has died - if the two of you were gone.
[ It's almost funny how they seem to be inverse parallels in terms of where their hope and pessimism shine through. Day wonders if this is what it means to be long-lived, with the knowledge that life is longer still. Ginger has forever, and with that opportunities to make and hold onto memories; Ginger has forever, so every loss will remain with him until the end of time.
...Now that it's clear what this means to Ginger, Day can't find it in him to try and keep pushing on this. They'd all just be hurt. The silence that follows is because he's thinking, now that the limits have been (re-)established: how can he achieve this end goal without risking anyone involved here? He's grounded from the raw intensity he had yesterday, wanting to ensure maximum effectiveness with the limited means he has available, now looking for compromise.
…He'd discounted a certain idea since it seemed tasteless in light of how this situation came about, but by the same token it's ironically appropriate: an offering of blood in exchange for the prevention of future bloodshed. The blood of a Sidereal and a celestial, now turned wizards, should still mean something. If he treats this a bit like prophecy paperwork (hhh) in verbal form, maybe a bit of embellishment here and there…
Frankly it's going to be a bit ridiculous and maybe reveal some things he hasn't actually said yet, but Ginger would be the only one to know so that's a non-issue. At least he didn't work in a theatre for nothing.
He reaches to take Ginger’s hand, if he'll let him. ]
…If this is what it means to you, then I won't do it. But I ain't gonna take your hair either. [ It would be deeply hypocritical otherwise. ] I've got a different idea, and it won't compromise me, you or Mika. I'll make sure of it. You and I are gonna have to hurt for a little bit, but it's nothing I can't heal. Can you live with that?
[ He's watching Ginger's reaction for whether he's receptive to this proposal. ]
[ Ginger knows whatever his words, he’s being selfish. Difficult.
Day would have considered everything, been thorough in accessing the risks and ruling out what is and isn’t necessary. (Of course, it’s Day.) It’s Ginger who thinks in the shade and shadows of feelings, of what’s important to him rather than what could be important for everyone.
He knows himself.
When Day takes his hand, he’s allowed. Ginger thinks nothing of it. (Naturally, it’s Day.) There’s trust, transpicuous by their friendship. ]
… Don’t promise, but do you mean it? Are you sure? [ That it won’t compromise any of them. He worries; he’ll never not. ] If it’s yes, then that’s also my answer.
[ Gods, the moment he's legitimately about to suggest what's basically a blood ritual, he knows his life has really taken some turns.
Day gently strokes his thumb over Ginger's hand, as if to try and reassure him he doesn't hold his feelings about this against him. ] I'm gonna do a ritual to bless the charm, and we both make a blood offerin' durin' it. But only to the ritual, not a drop on the charm. We can get rid of the blood afterward so no one gets the chance to use it against us. That sound good to you?
Though, uh, I guess that means we have to do it off manor grounds. [ There are two vampires here and he thinks more bloodshed after what happened is going to be, at best, deeply awkward. At worst, Day's a dead man. ] Prob'ly somewhere a little secluded.
[ That… hm. Only now is he realizing all of this reads like a demonic ritual - for a contract, for a pact. And that is deeply illegal nowadays where he’s from. But… he thinks… he’d sign up for worse, if it meant saving Mika, even once.
He knows if Mika finds out the length they’re planning to go for him, he’d be upset, thinking himself undeserving of their efforts. Ginger has said before, however, that his blood is Mika’s. Doesn’t this count… in a way?
And if Day won’t be at risk… This way, Day could do what he feels he needs to, without Ginger forcing his selfish feelings onto him. Restraining his actions, his intentions. It would be them, together, as he wanted.
This is fine, probably. ]
Okay. [ To all of what Day’s just said. Just a sad, somber okay, still colored in worry. ] Should I fly us somewhere off grounds? Nearest woods?
[ It has not occurred to Day that this could read as demonic, because Creation is kind of just like that. If it was pointed out to him he would've been a little embarrassed.
Day seems to be watching Ginger's reaction. He wishes he could be more reassuring, even knowing that Ginger will always worry. ]
Yeah. Preferably a spot where we can have a decent view of the stars. I still need to finish the bracelet for the charm, so we can go tonight. [ He thinks it does not need to be said that Mika should not ever find out what they're about to do if they can help it; they both know he'd be upset. ]
...You know I still love you, yeah? [ It's sudden, and four weeks is not exactly a long time to have known each other, but this was the first time they've actually argued. He feels like he should say something, that this doesn't change how he feels for Ginger. ]
[ Ginger goes a little red, cheeks pulling into a smile that’s half endeared, half wistful. He really doesn’t deserve even half of what Day feels for him. ]
Why else would we argue?
[ If it wasn’t out of care for each other, then what could it be? Every word from Day in that argument might as well have been love, love, love. ]
[ Oh. He didn't realize that some part of him had been holding its breath until he saw Ginger's smile and it relaxed. It's like he's 17 again, when he had his first argument with the boy he liked.
...It feels almost nostalgic, even if he also feels it's rather juvenile of himself. ]
I know, but... I just wanted to be clear. [ He folds his fingers over Ginger's hand. ] Sorry I...got a little heated earlier. [ And had said something that, in hindsight, was perhaps unfair of him. ] And for bein' a little boneheaded about this.
[ He's embarrassed to say that he genuinely had not really considered how Ginger might have reacted to the whole risk assessment. Day just saw the enormity of what Mika meant to Ginger, and thus other priorities were logically and unemotionally arranged in accordance. Day figured even if he got in danger, the odds were good enough for him. ]
[ He understands though. It’s easy to get swept away by strong emotions when it comes to the person you like. Sometimes navigating that feels like walking that of a frozen path, forgetting that underneath lies a lake and once you fall in, that’s it. You’re gone with shock of it.
Day can say he made all his decisions rationally, but Ginger would think that’s impossible. Thinks that maybe he already has one foot in the lake. ]
I get it. [ Him attacking Khun was definitely more than just a case of being a little heated. ] I think… it’s good that you try to be clear. That’s… um… braver than me.
[ With Rum, he was never brave enough to be honest about his feelings. And to be honest with himself, he doesn’t know if he remains incapable of it - if he’s changed enough in any way when it comes to Rum and love. ]
[ If Day was being completely honest with himself, maybe he'd be able to tell there was, perhaps, a bit of keeping his expectations low involved. A reflexive action taken without too much thought, because he's already done it so many times by now in his life. In a way, that's putting a foot in the lake.
He blinks slowly at the comment because frankly, it hasn't crossed his mind that it could be considered "brave" at all. One of his hands starts to reach up for Ginger's cheek, but stops short as if he isn't sure if it's alright for him to do so. He just can't stand to see Ginger so... sombre. ]
Thanks. But you seemed plenty brave to me just now. [ Saying some of the things he did. ] And...I guess when you do lotta people-work, you have to. [ Most of the time, his job is about bringing happiness into people's lives and safeguarding their joy, so it follows that he has to think about people. How can I push them towards a destined happiness? And even now, when this isn't even his jurisdiction, he still thinks along those lines, because how else is he supposed to tackle the problems presented to him? ]
...I was thinkin' of doin' it myself, but on second thought, you ought to give the charm to Mika instead. [ Thinking back to his conversation with Yamato and...honestly, considering what they're about to do for it, this is more fair and equitable. He knows Ginger won't decline. ]
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no subject
No. Stay with me.
[ He bites back an apology, because this is something he has to argue. He can't bend. You're the one who thinks you're leaving first - from the rest of my eternal life, from my memories. ]
You act like we don't have forever, but you'll put yourself in danger with that precious time we have? Really, Day?
no subject
Day doesn't say anything for a long moment. He tries to steady his emotions because he wants to be calm saying this, if not serene. ]
I'm doin' this because I want to help you, Ginger. [ There are other reasons too, pragmatic and selfish or even self-gratifying, but this is the one that matters to Day the most. ] I know Mika means the world to you, so if I can do anything to protect him [ (to protect Ginger's heart) ], I'm willin' to take risks for it. I thought about however many other ways to do it, and this is the one I'm willin' to take. And I think the odds are worth it.
I know you're scared that if somethin' happens to me, there ain't gonna be anything you can do about it. [ And they'll probably have to talk about that too, at some point. All the worthwhile things Day has and will want to do will carry risk, and Day will have to go to do those things. ] And...normally, I'd be happy that you want me to stay. But when you say you'll commit everything and bear all the risk while tellin' me I can't do the same, I feel like I'm being left behind. Like I ain't supposed to be by your side.
[ Even though this whole thing is his idea, so he should also take some responsibility for it, and Day had hoped maybe... ]
...Why can't we go through it together?
no subject
[ If they’re doing anything together, why does it have to be this terrible, risky thing?
His nightmare plays out with each word: ]
If something happens… if things go wrong in the worst way - Mika dodges death once, but he’s still in danger, and you and I are compromised.
You’re helpless to do anything. So am I. He’ll risk his life again. He dies, then you die trying to help him or me - because you’re smarter, faster, and you... [ His voice breaks in frustration. ] You would put me first. And if I don’t die - that’s forever for me, Day. How is that together? It’ll just be me living like all of me has died - if the two of you were gone.
no subject
...Now that it's clear what this means to Ginger, Day can't find it in him to try and keep pushing on this. They'd all just be hurt. The silence that follows is because he's thinking, now that the limits have been (re-)established: how can he achieve this end goal without risking anyone involved here? He's grounded from the raw intensity he had yesterday, wanting to ensure maximum effectiveness with the limited means he has available, now looking for compromise.
…He'd discounted a certain idea since it seemed tasteless in light of how this situation came about, but by the same token it's ironically appropriate: an offering of blood in exchange for the prevention of future bloodshed. The blood of a Sidereal and a celestial, now turned wizards, should still mean something. If he treats this a bit like prophecy paperwork (hhh) in verbal form, maybe a bit of embellishment here and there…
Frankly it's going to be a bit ridiculous and maybe reveal some things he hasn't actually said yet, but Ginger would be the only one to know so that's a non-issue. At least he didn't work in a theatre for nothing.
He reaches to take Ginger’s hand, if he'll let him. ]
…If this is what it means to you, then I won't do it. But I ain't gonna take your hair either. [ It would be deeply hypocritical otherwise. ] I've got a different idea, and it won't compromise me, you or Mika. I'll make sure of it. You and I are gonna have to hurt for a little bit, but it's nothing I can't heal. Can you live with that?
[ He's watching Ginger's reaction for whether he's receptive to this proposal. ]
no subject
Day would have considered everything, been thorough in accessing the risks and ruling out what is and isn’t necessary. (Of course, it’s Day.) It’s Ginger who thinks in the shade and shadows of feelings, of what’s important to him rather than what could be important for everyone.
He knows himself.
When Day takes his hand, he’s allowed. Ginger thinks nothing of it. (Naturally, it’s Day.) There’s trust, transpicuous by their friendship. ]
… Don’t promise, but do you mean it? Are you sure? [ That it won’t compromise any of them. He worries; he’ll never not. ] If it’s yes, then that’s also my answer.
no subject
Day gently strokes his thumb over Ginger's hand, as if to try and reassure him he doesn't hold his feelings about this against him. ] I'm gonna do a ritual to bless the charm, and we both make a blood offerin' durin' it. But only to the ritual, not a drop on the charm. We can get rid of the blood afterward so no one gets the chance to use it against us. That sound good to you?
Though, uh, I guess that means we have to do it off manor grounds. [ There are two vampires here and he thinks more bloodshed after what happened is going to be, at best, deeply awkward. At worst, Day's a dead man. ] Prob'ly somewhere a little secluded.
no subject
He knows if Mika finds out the length they’re planning to go for him, he’d be upset, thinking himself undeserving of their efforts. Ginger has said before, however, that his blood is Mika’s. Doesn’t this count… in a way?
And if Day won’t be at risk… This way, Day could do what he feels he needs to, without Ginger forcing his selfish feelings onto him. Restraining his actions, his intentions. It would be them, together, as he wanted.
This is fine, probably. ]
Okay. [ To all of what Day’s just said. Just a sad, somber okay, still colored in worry. ] Should I fly us somewhere off grounds? Nearest woods?
no subject
Day seems to be watching Ginger's reaction. He wishes he could be more reassuring, even knowing that Ginger will always worry. ]
Yeah. Preferably a spot where we can have a decent view of the stars. I still need to finish the bracelet for the charm, so we can go tonight. [ He thinks it does not need to be said that Mika should not ever find out what they're about to do if they can help it; they both know he'd be upset. ]
...You know I still love you, yeah? [ It's sudden, and four weeks is not exactly a long time to have known each other, but this was the first time they've actually argued. He feels like he should say something, that this doesn't change how he feels for Ginger. ]
no subject
[ Ginger goes a little red, cheeks pulling into a smile that’s half endeared, half wistful. He really doesn’t deserve even half of what Day feels for him. ]
Why else would we argue?
[ If it wasn’t out of care for each other, then what could it be? Every word from Day in that argument might as well have been love, love, love. ]
no subject
...It feels almost nostalgic, even if he also feels it's rather juvenile of himself. ]
I know, but... I just wanted to be clear. [ He folds his fingers over Ginger's hand. ] Sorry I...got a little heated earlier. [ And had said something that, in hindsight, was perhaps unfair of him. ] And for bein' a little boneheaded about this.
[ He's embarrassed to say that he genuinely had not really considered how Ginger might have reacted to the whole risk assessment. Day just saw the enormity of what Mika meant to Ginger, and thus other priorities were logically and unemotionally arranged in accordance. Day figured even if he got in danger, the odds were good enough for him. ]
no subject
[ He understands though. It’s easy to get swept away by strong emotions when it comes to the person you like. Sometimes navigating that feels like walking that of a frozen path, forgetting that underneath lies a lake and once you fall in, that’s it. You’re gone with shock of it.
Day can say he made all his decisions rationally, but Ginger would think that’s impossible. Thinks that maybe he already has one foot in the lake. ]
I get it. [ Him attacking Khun was definitely more than just a case of being a little heated. ] I think… it’s good that you try to be clear. That’s… um… braver than me.
[ With Rum, he was never brave enough to be honest about his feelings. And to be honest with himself, he doesn’t know if he remains incapable of it - if he’s changed enough in any way when it comes to Rum and love. ]
You think about others a lot, don’t you, Day?
no subject
He blinks slowly at the comment because frankly, it hasn't crossed his mind that it could be considered "brave" at all. One of his hands starts to reach up for Ginger's cheek, but stops short as if he isn't sure if it's alright for him to do so. He just can't stand to see Ginger so... sombre. ]
Thanks. But you seemed plenty brave to me just now. [ Saying some of the things he did. ] And...I guess when you do lotta people-work, you have to. [ Most of the time, his job is about bringing happiness into people's lives and safeguarding their joy, so it follows that he has to think about people. How can I push them towards a destined happiness? And even now, when this isn't even his jurisdiction, he still thinks along those lines, because how else is he supposed to tackle the problems presented to him? ]
...I was thinkin' of doin' it myself, but on second thought, you ought to give the charm to Mika instead. [ Thinking back to his conversation with Yamato and...honestly, considering what they're about to do for it, this is more fair and equitable. He knows Ginger won't decline. ]