( He needs practice, for sure, especially since he's missed on some days of practice, and his heart... could be steadier. But he did work pretty hard at it the first few days. )
I don't think I can go fast or take any route too complicated right now, but I won't fall.
[He nods as he shrugs off the starry-colored coat from his shoulders, gently tossing it to the side. No need for that to go flailing around in the dark when he had company with him]
Then there's nothing to be concerned about. We're not going very far.
[With a little hup of a sound as he steps up onto the windowsill, Solomon smoothly takes a seat onto his own broom, letting himself drift out into the open air with the momentum.]
It takes a moment to still his heart enough to manifest his broom, but he feels the weight of the cool-wrought iron in his grasp and he steps out and slips onto it side-saddle. It bobs with his weight slightly before finding its buoyancy, and he drifts in a slow semi-circle to face Solomon. )
Of course. [He settles a hand against the front of his broom.]
I'll trust you to say if that changes.
[With that, the sorcerer leans his weight forward as his ankles cross beneath his broom, smoothly shooting off into the night sky - a figure in all black with only the shocking white of his hair to place him.
He keeps to his word. If Mika doesn't mention that he needs Solomon to slow down, then the sorcerer will continue on at a brisk but manageable pace.]
Though Mika lags slightly behind, his pace slower but steady, he has the advantage of his vampiric hearing and sight - even if Solomon errs further ahead, Mika will not lose his trail, like a proper hunting dog. He won't push himself to go quicker than he can confidently go, but he won't ask anyone to slow down for him, either.
At the very least, he doesn't seem frustrated with his progress. His gaze falls to the distant world below, and to the stars and grand moon - a little lost in thought, but not distracted. )
[They fly out past the lights of the city, out until the darkness starts to feel ingulfing. Far enough removed that the moon and stars start to look like the pinpoints of many distant windows, many tired souls, holding onto what's left of the day.
He quietly slows to a halt, holding up a hand to hopefully get Mika's attention before he overshoots him.]
Here, please. Just for a minute.
[They're in the middle of nowhere and it's So Dark.]
( He's used to the dark - in a sense. The suffocating dark of the underground rank with stifled decay, abandoned by God, seeps different into his skin than the clarity of the night air, suffused with life - spirits, whose being and power run deeper than he could ever comprehend.
He drifts to a stop once Solomon calls to him, his demeanor - if Solomon can see it - once again suspect. Being this far out alone with someone is never a good thing, in his experience, but here he is anyway. )
[Solomon's nod is subtle, adjusting his seat on his broom and letting his gaze look purposefully up, away from the darkness of the ground, opposite the moon, to the spread of the stars in the sky - the scattering of constellations, the prickling of light, the clustered line of the galaxy's edge just barely visible in a darkened haze of colors now that they're away from too much light.]
If you know what you're looking for.
I once knew an old human who said he was the most powerful sorcerer in the world. He often said that when he was young, first studying magic, that he found he was questioning himself often. He wondering what he was turning into. That feeling never really stopped, no matter how long time went.
Studying magic made him realize a lot of his capabilities. But at the same time, it brought him to places that many said a human should never go. And the more he went, the more he questioned. He wasn't sure if he would notice if he ever turned to something else. A monster. A demon. Some nights, it scared him to think about it... some nights were worse if he realized what he'd forgotten.
No matter where he found himself, though, he had the stars.
The stars of the sky will always have a place where the worlds connect and spill their light. It's one of the only places where heaven, earth and hell all share something that cannot be taken, the sky ripped at its own seams to make way for them.
[He tilts his head to look towards Mika, something lost about his expression despite how he smiles.]
I try to find this place whenever I travel, whenever I feel uneasy. I think of the sorcerer, who still called himself human, because he could still see that glimpse of his world and know it was still his, no matter how old he grew, or how much he lost. For him, that was enough to soothe him.
...
I hope, while you can, that you find a starry sky of your own, dear Mika.
( Mika, at first, does not follow Solomon's gaze up, nor does he when he begins his tale. Too rooted in the past, earthbound - perhaps some part of his vampiric nature, yearning for a death denied to him, fixed in the moment he was eternally uninterred.
There is some part of him that would protest, once he sees the parallels - the idea that his story could be mirrored by a human repulses him. But somewhere, beneath his dislike is the fact that - so much of his resentment is knotted up in what they've done to Yuu; what they could do to him. Moving further from Yuu's proximity - that hatred grows fainter, and faint; and it is in thie distance that he's willing to hear his tale, even knowing that over the horizon he recalls how they've hurt his dearest friend.
He turns his gaze up, seeing the ceaseless depths of the galaxies - the gradation of color not visible to the human eye, and the whisper of the stars, their drift in space as clear to him as the gentle breeze. And, in turn, he feels, he hears, so acutely - how his dead heart does not move for the strange beauty of existence.
His eyes fall to Solomon as his final words leave his lips. )
... Did you take me here to comfort me?
( His words do not come skeptical or irritable, though that's the most natural framing of the question. He can't say he trusts Solomon's judgment - not when he's so smitten with humanity, by Mika's stiff standards. He can't say that Solomon, like most other humans, may not be using him, somehow - as is a human's wont.
But he does think there is meaning to Solomon's story, even if he may one day find it's untrue. )
... I found my starry sky in a person, once. ( But people change. And so... away that went, in two short years. In some way, though, it isn't so different: ) The sky may always be here... but it can exist without you - without anyone. When humanity fades, and all other creatures die... the sky will still remain.
I would have wondered if he didn't feel lonely, entrusting himself to something that doesn't need him.
[He doesn't quite answer, letting Mika sound out what's going through his head. In honesty, it hadn't been to provoke any specific reaction. Not for Mika, not when he's already mentioned losing himself.
But to give a vague, anecdotal avenue to try and sort his thoughts, to help see what part of him is still there that he desperately doesn't want to lose... it's like anything else. A gentle experiment, a testing of what is and isn't, letting Mika try to come to his own conclusion even it wasn't one Solomon agreed with.]
Mm. I think, from what I remember, I don't think that's unfounded... he'd been alone by his own choice for a very long time.
Maybe he found something that mattered more to him than being needed, though.
( Not a cop-out answer for him - he means it. His broom drifts a little, in time with the slow coming of his thoughts. )
... I want... to do right by someone. To make them happy. Someone who deserves it. And I don't.
( Maybe, when he was younger, he would have framed it a little differently - but, no matter how he's viewed it, he's never wanted to be happy for himself. His happiness has always been a leech unto another's. )
[It certainly is. When life turns into an abyss that has no end, the moments that pass feel both like grains of sand and an bottomless pit. The loneliness aches, and as much as he wants to address it, it's the one point he can't genuinely respond to.
Because Mika isn't wrong. It is a horrible thing, to go through life alone.]
...Dear Mika has a kind heart underneath.
I wonder, though. If you found someone to make happy, what would you do if they declined?
Would you want to watch someone, who you desire only happiness for, say to themselves that they don't deserve it?
It's an important feeling. To want to help someone understand... it can make one particularly stubborn.
[A chuckle, though it's very quiet.]
Wouldn't your special person want the same for you? To be stubborn, to tell you every day until you understand, that perhaps you deserve to be happy as well?
That you deserve to remember, and be, under the stars, regardless of what you were or are or might become... just like anyone else?
Could that want for happiness be your starry sky, so long as you let yourself experience it, too?
( Mika... purses his lips, brows furrowing. A teaching moment, huh. But he considers it, at least.
He casts his gaze to the starry sky - and then to the ever-distant lights of some settlement far, far away, nearly swallowed by the night, even with his improved vision. )
... If my happiness were important to their happiness, I'd try. But... I'll only consider it if it happens.
( Because... it wouldn't. No one would value Mika's happiness so highly - to dog him day in and day out. And... that's okay, even if no such person exists.
His gaze returns to Solomon. )
... I don't mind if they use me, in the end. Just as long as they don't throw me away. That would be enough of an anchor for me. One the stars and skies could never compete with - not even for a moment.
( Solomon's advice is good - he can't deny that. Mika's damage just runs deep - intertwined with his fear, his insecurity, his loneliness, trapped up inside a mind that strains against what a teenager can understand. )
[Mmm. He feels this may be as far as they cam stretch this little impromptu session. But so long as he's given Mika something to think about, Solomon thinks he can be satisfied.]
So long as it is your anchor, dear Mika. Just be careful that it doesn't turn into a chain.
[He carefully maneuvers his broom, a casual stretch of his arms over his head.]
I'm aware that you don't quite care for me. [It's said simply as he crosses one leg against the other, letting the broom slowly adjust for his weight.]
If you find that feeding from those you trust becomes too difficult, or if you worry about how you appear to those you may want to be happy... then you may come to me.
It will not be free. But it's a choice I will offer you to make if you wish, while you still can.
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( He needs practice, for sure, especially since he's missed on some days of practice, and his heart... could be steadier. But he did work pretty hard at it the first few days. )
I don't think I can go fast or take any route too complicated right now, but I won't fall.
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Then there's nothing to be concerned about. We're not going very far.
[With a little hup of a sound as he steps up onto the windowsill, Solomon smoothly takes a seat onto his own broom, letting himself drift out into the open air with the momentum.]
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It takes a moment to still his heart enough to manifest his broom, but he feels the weight of the cool-wrought iron in his grasp and he steps out and slips onto it side-saddle. It bobs with his weight slightly before finding its buoyancy, and he drifts in a slow semi-circle to face Solomon. )
... Don't worry about me. Just go.
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I'll trust you to say if that changes.
[With that, the sorcerer leans his weight forward as his ankles cross beneath his broom, smoothly shooting off into the night sky - a figure in all black with only the shocking white of his hair to place him.
He keeps to his word. If Mika doesn't mention that he needs Solomon to slow down, then the sorcerer will continue on at a brisk but manageable pace.]
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Though Mika lags slightly behind, his pace slower but steady, he has the advantage of his vampiric hearing and sight - even if Solomon errs further ahead, Mika will not lose his trail, like a proper hunting dog. He won't push himself to go quicker than he can confidently go, but he won't ask anyone to slow down for him, either.
At the very least, he doesn't seem frustrated with his progress. His gaze falls to the distant world below, and to the stars and grand moon - a little lost in thought, but not distracted. )
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He quietly slows to a halt, holding up a hand to hopefully get Mika's attention before he overshoots him.]
Here, please. Just for a minute.
[They're in the middle of nowhere and it's So Dark.]
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He drifts to a stop once Solomon calls to him, his demeanor - if Solomon can see it - once again suspect. Being this far out alone with someone is never a good thing, in his experience, but here he is anyway. )
... Is there really anything here?
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If you know what you're looking for.
I once knew an old human who said he was the most powerful sorcerer in the world. He often said that when he was young, first studying magic, that he found he was questioning himself often. He wondering what he was turning into. That feeling never really stopped, no matter how long time went.
Studying magic made him realize a lot of his capabilities. But at the same time, it brought him to places that many said a human should never go. And the more he went, the more he questioned. He wasn't sure if he would notice if he ever turned to something else. A monster. A demon. Some nights, it scared him to think about it... some nights were worse if he realized what he'd forgotten.
No matter where he found himself, though, he had the stars.
The stars of the sky will always have a place where the worlds connect and spill their light. It's one of the only places where heaven, earth and hell all share something that cannot be taken, the sky ripped at its own seams to make way for them.
[He tilts his head to look towards Mika, something lost about his expression despite how he smiles.]
I try to find this place whenever I travel, whenever I feel uneasy. I think of the sorcerer, who still called himself human, because he could still see that glimpse of his world and know it was still his, no matter how old he grew, or how much he lost. For him, that was enough to soothe him.
...
I hope, while you can, that you find a starry sky of your own, dear Mika.
no subject
There is some part of him that would protest, once he sees the parallels - the idea that his story could be mirrored by a human repulses him. But somewhere, beneath his dislike is the fact that - so much of his resentment is knotted up in what they've done to Yuu; what they could do to him. Moving further from Yuu's proximity - that hatred grows fainter, and faint; and it is in thie distance that he's willing to hear his tale, even knowing that over the horizon he recalls how they've hurt his dearest friend.
He turns his gaze up, seeing the ceaseless depths of the galaxies - the gradation of color not visible to the human eye, and the whisper of the stars, their drift in space as clear to him as the gentle breeze. And, in turn, he feels, he hears, so acutely - how his dead heart does not move for the strange beauty of existence.
His eyes fall to Solomon as his final words leave his lips. )
... Did you take me here to comfort me?
( His words do not come skeptical or irritable, though that's the most natural framing of the question. He can't say he trusts Solomon's judgment - not when he's so smitten with humanity, by Mika's stiff standards. He can't say that Solomon, like most other humans, may not be using him, somehow - as is a human's wont.
But he does think there is meaning to Solomon's story, even if he may one day find it's untrue. )
... I found my starry sky in a person, once. ( But people change. And so... away that went, in two short years. In some way, though, it isn't so different: ) The sky may always be here... but it can exist without you - without anyone. When humanity fades, and all other creatures die... the sky will still remain.
I would have wondered if he didn't feel lonely, entrusting himself to something that doesn't need him.
no subject
But to give a vague, anecdotal avenue to try and sort his thoughts, to help see what part of him is still there that he desperately doesn't want to lose... it's like anything else. A gentle experiment, a testing of what is and isn't, letting Mika try to come to his own conclusion even it wasn't one Solomon agreed with.]
Mm. I think, from what I remember, I don't think that's unfounded... he'd been alone by his own choice for a very long time.
Maybe he found something that mattered more to him than being needed, though.
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... What would matter more than that?
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[He knows. But this isn't about him.]
Do you think that's what matters most to you right now?
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... It's always mattered most. But there's no one who needs someone like me.
( Emotionally - permanently, he seems to mean. )
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How do you think it would feel if that changed?
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... I can't imagine it. Living for myself... sounds empty.
( Emptier now, even, as a vampire. )
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What is it that makes it empty? That you feel alone? Purposeless? Or is it just that it's too much of an unknown?
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( Not a cop-out answer for him - he means it. His broom drifts a little, in time with the slow coming of his thoughts. )
... I want... to do right by someone. To make them happy. Someone who deserves it. And I don't.
( Maybe, when he was younger, he would have framed it a little differently - but, no matter how he's viewed it, he's never wanted to be happy for himself. His happiness has always been a leech unto another's. )
... But the world is too big to live in alone.
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Because Mika isn't wrong. It is a horrible thing, to go through life alone.]
...Dear Mika has a kind heart underneath.
I wonder, though. If you found someone to make happy, what would you do if they declined?
Would you want to watch someone, who you desire only happiness for, say to themselves that they don't deserve it?
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The question, though, makes him furrow his brow - picturing Yuu, or even Ginger, saying something like that... )
... I would make sure they find happiness, no matter what. Even if they think they don't deserve it. I'd tell them every day until they understand.
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[A chuckle, though it's very quiet.]
Wouldn't your special person want the same for you? To be stubborn, to tell you every day until you understand, that perhaps you deserve to be happy as well?
That you deserve to remember, and be, under the stars, regardless of what you were or are or might become... just like anyone else?
Could that want for happiness be your starry sky, so long as you let yourself experience it, too?
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He casts his gaze to the starry sky - and then to the ever-distant lights of some settlement far, far away, nearly swallowed by the night, even with his improved vision. )
... If my happiness were important to their happiness, I'd try. But... I'll only consider it if it happens.
( Because... it wouldn't. No one would value Mika's happiness so highly - to dog him day in and day out. And... that's okay, even if no such person exists.
His gaze returns to Solomon. )
... I don't mind if they use me, in the end. Just as long as they don't throw me away. That would be enough of an anchor for me. One the stars and skies could never compete with - not even for a moment.
( Solomon's advice is good - he can't deny that. Mika's damage just runs deep - intertwined with his fear, his insecurity, his loneliness, trapped up inside a mind that strains against what a teenager can understand. )
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So long as it is your anchor, dear Mika. Just be careful that it doesn't turn into a chain.
[He carefully maneuvers his broom, a casual stretch of his arms over his head.]
I have a suggestion for you, if you'd hear it.
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... What is it?
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If you find that feeding from those you trust becomes too difficult, or if you worry about how you appear to those you may want to be happy... then you may come to me.
It will not be free. But it's a choice I will offer you to make if you wish, while you still can.
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... And what would the price be?
( He's not waiting until he's hungry to ask. )
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