[ He turns his head to watch Mika. His blue eyes track each minuscule shift in his expression. It might be creepy that Ginger likes to just… watch… like this. He finds himself doing this to Rum a lot, too.
Something about finding the people you like fascinating in every way? Every shade of light they reflect off their eyelashes is endearing. ]
I know what you mean to me, but I don’t have a word for it. So whatever family means to you, whatever I am to you, it’s fine if you want to call us that.
( Ah... Mika's expression softens, if in a slightly different way - relief, maybe. Comfort? It's something he's been short on for a long time - since the end of the world, and arriving at this one. )
... Okay. Family. ( If he were in catboy era, you'd see a happy tailswish. Alas, ) I haven't added anyone to my family since Yuu-chan. Be proud of that.
( Hands Ginger a little a self esteem... is for u... )
( Oh no... Serotonin for Mika... He's probably going to start doubting and second-guessing himself for this later, but, for now, he's just... happy? Really happy. He's gonna fluff Ginger's hair with Both hands, watch out... )
[ He wrinkles his nose and lets Mika do as he likes. His hair is a disheveled mess after, but that’s okay, if it makes Mika smile like this.
Ginger thinks… he’d be okay with a lot of embarrassing things if it makes Mika smile. ]
Eh, what’s that mean? I’m not a kid, Mika.
[ If anything, Mika’s the cute one. Look at Ginger’s tie, which he loosens and tugs off - clearly not a kid. The buttons of his black collar are worked open, too. ]
He seems kind of curious when Ginger gestures for him to come closer, but he's on a rare serotonin high so, for once in his life, he's not going to think too hard on it. He shifts closer - into his arms, if that's the idea. )
I mean... I like you, so... I guess I have to, right?
( He was already kind of embarrassed saying he likes someone in the remarks leading up to the family conversation, and while some of it lingers... Ginger is a hundred times more embarrassed right now, and it's kind of endearing in a way that distracts him. )
Mm, if I’m on a list of things you like, then I guess… that’s fine. I can be cute for a day.
[ Into his arms is good; he settles them loosely around Mika. They’re close and comfortable enough that Mika can feed whenever he feels ready and he has more access to Ginger if he wants to touch his hair again. He seems to like doing that?
And overall, keeping Mika close makes Ginger feel more at ease. They have a term now: family. Mika’s family - it’s a little like being claimed.
Ginger likes that. ]
Yuu-chan, cute things, flowers, family - what else? Tell me more.
( He can't help the desire to fluff Ginger... how can u not pet a dog when u see one.............
Anyway, it's weird, but not in a bad way, being in Ginger's arms - but it also reminds him of the last time, when Ginger had taken him up to get him to his room to drink... and now that's on his mind, especially with Ginger's neck so close and exposed. So, when Ginger asks the first thing that comes to mind is... )
... Your blood...
( It tastes really good...!? It reminded him of Yuu's blood, in a way - Yuu, who also had some weird angelic and demonic... thing going on, but different than Ginger. It made them taste different, too - have a different texture. Ginger's is smoother, and...
No, now he's going to make himself hungry. He knows that's why Ginger's here, but he still hates being hungry, so, he sets that aside a little hastily, )
—I don't know. ( Vampires lose a lot of that, too. But... ) Yuu-chan... ( Yuu-chan... Yuu-chan... What else besides Yuu-chan........ ) I think I used to like curry, when I could eat...
[ His ears go red. Nooot something he expected to make the list. Isn't that the same as saying he - uh - he tastes good?? A-aaaa... He can't say it doesn't make him happy to hear that Mika finds him palatable. But... embarrassing......... ]
W-well, you know, it's yours to taste whenever...
[ It's not like there's another vampire who wants his blood anyway. What makes him taste good...? Is it the demon half... the angel half... Mmmmm... What does Ginger even taste like...? ]
... Ah, I've never had curry before. I don't need to eat, so it's always been things the others like to try for fun. Like cakes and chips. Little things.
( Ugh, that was definitely weird to say... Even when he's not starving, blood always jumps to the forefront of his mind when it comes up... But Ginger doesn't take it badly (he thinks), and... he doesn't think he's seen his ears red before... Definitely cute...
He shifts a little as Ginger talks, facing him a little better - or, rather, facing his neck at a better angle, palms running down either side of his neck lightly to better push the fabric down... This regular feeding schedule still sits weird with him, but... if Ginger really feels better knowing Mika's eating daily... )
... Do you enjoy eating? It's not like I was able to eat that many things before all this, but... I could show you a few things I remember liking.
[ In his eagerness he almost leans in too close, head bump barely avoided. But this is really exciting news! If it means Mika can taste the dishes he used to like - ]
Then let’s! The things you used to like - and maybe dishes you haven’t tried yet.
( Oh— definitely surprised, given he didn't think this would provoke this much excitement? Ginger's... really nice.
But he'd never thought of possibly being able to taste things again. A part of him had given up, and a part of him never considered it - the "diet" back home for most people was scraps and rations, so it barely registered. Even noticing the distinct shift in taste here... he still wouldn't have thought twice about it if Ginger hadn't thought of this.
Man... Rum's really lucky. He better be changing his mind about Ginger (positively) while Ginger's away. )
Is it really that exciting? ( He says, but... it's flattering. Weird? Nice? To have someone... excited for him. ) ... If you're going to go through all the trouble... could I at least be there when you eat?
( This sounds weird, but, )
... I at least want to know if you're enjoying those things, too.
Oh - it’ll be like we’re sharing meals, like a family. [ In a tone that says he likes the idea. Mika is so smart. ] I’m there when you eat, and you’re there when I eat. It’s only fair.
And it’s not like I’d ever say no to spending more time with you?
[ He’s the type to glue himself to Rum, to miss him when they’re not partners for a day (eternity, longing, wasting away), to mope when he has plans with other friends for the evening (the night is long and endless). Imagine having more than one friend before coming here. Honestly can’t relate. ]
( He's normally pretty against normalizing vampiric feeding, but, when Ginger puts it like that - that these things in combination are something a family might do, and it's something that clearly makes Ginger happy... Mika seems to perk up some, only to be hit with Ginger's last line - he wasn't expecting it, so it's a critical hit. )
... Yeah, well... I mean, I told you before you can find me whenever, but... you really can. ( He's not good at the passionate "because we're family!!" thing Yuu's stellar at, but he's sincere. ) I'd probably figure out more things I like hanging out with you, anyway...
( He doubts he's going to develop any preferences on his own (whether this is an apt assessment is unknown just yet). Anyway, Mika can wander alone, but, unfortunately, he's a codependent person... it feels right to be beside someone in some way. The world feels more vibrant then. )
But I... have to limit myself, or else I'll want to monopolize your time. I mean, I do want that.
[ But he knows that gets annoying. He's annoying, Rum says so all the time. Most people need the occasional alone time; rarely are they like Ginger. Needy, clingy... even in the way he touches Mika. ]
( Mika does recognize that as unhealthy, but... he's at that crossroads again where where he doesn't want Ginger to feel bad for being what he is. When Yuu's unhealthy, it's a choice - but, if this is just part of Ginger's birthright... you know. What else is he supposed to do if Mika tells him to be different? It's like asking Mika to not eat. He's sure Ginger would try, the way Mika would starve himself. But it'd just leave them hungry, wallowing in their own guilt over things they can't change. He's fine with that for himself, but he'd rather not put Ginger through that.
Besides... he's still assuming Ginger makes friends easily, so is it really "monopolizing" Mika's time if he's probably "monopolizing" a lot of other people's time, too? )
... Well, that depends. What would make you happier? Feeling like you're controlling it? Or just doing it?
( Mika would be happier controlling his bloodlust... but he's not going to assume Ginger's urges are a perfect mirror to his. )
[ It’s not as easy of an answer for Ginger. He think… being careful would make him happier. It hurts when he’s with Rum because the chance of heartbreak is high - and he’d die without him, he’d die alone.
Mika… Mika won’t break his heart. They’re not in love, but they care for each other. Deeply, he thinks. Mika is his heart’s guardian angel, in a way.
And Mika is not and should never be a replacement for Rum. They’re both important to him in different ways. They’re both special, one of a kind. ]
Controlling it… It’s important that you have… a choice. I’m not tying you to me. [ But - please, please choose to stay, until you go back to your Yuu-chan. ] What would make me happiest is if seeing me made you smile with your heart, like you did earlier.
[ It was pretty. ]
Mm. When you feel like smiling, I hope you do. I want to see all your smiles.
( Mika's busy pondering Ginger's answer when he continues, catching Mika off guard again. Jeez... He hopes it's not too obvious that it flusters him - he doesn't have much pride, but it is a little embarrassing. He's not really used to someone being so invested in him - other than Yuu. )
... I think... I stopped smiling around everyone but Yuu-chan. But...
( ... It's been easier to smile around Ginger. Maybe because they're similar? But not - the same. Mika wouldn't be able to stand seeing himself in a mirror; he hates himself too much. Ginger is comfortable enough to understand, but foreign enough to care about.
Maybe he's leaning too much on him. Is he being unfair? (The worries return...) Ginger seems to like their arrangement, though. He's... too caring, Mika thinks. )
... Why don't we keep it simple? You visit me whenever you want, as much as you think is reasonable. ( Controlled, to Ginger's own standard. ) And I'll visit you whenever I want. So you know it's my choice.
( And... if Ginger gets him to smile then, well, it'll be genuine, so... that should make Ginger happy. (The both of them tossing the happiness ball back into each other's courts,) )
[ (It’s a happiness tennis ball, so Ginger will bring it back to Mika every single time, wag wag) ]
Mika, you’re brilliant! That’s a good plan. [ He’s wagging now - though his metaphorical tail did slow to an uncertain stutter when Mika mentioned that he’d stopped smiling.
He hopes Mika will talk to him enough to fill in the emptiness of two years; he hopes Mika finds reason to smile at Yuu-chan again, at Ginger, at the things he likes. The things they both like. And maybe -
Maybe… one day Mika can talk about himself and smile. ]
( In the wake of Ginger's words, he hears - the dying gasp of the children at the orphanage; Yuu's scrambled footsteps as he runs away. He's really bad at making plans, normally. But he's always haunted by these memories, so this isn't enough to make him falter - there's just a moment where he seems to dim before he regains himself.
Despite everything said so far, and though Ginger is unique to him, Mika doesn't consider himself unique to Ginger - which is good. It limits what damage Mika can do to him, he thinks. And he wants to take good care of Ginger and his heart while they're both here, without Ginger suffering the consequences of his association.
He's just glad he can make Ginger happy in these small ways, right now. )
... Don't complain when I pester you, then.
( He doubts Ginger would, but, he teases slightly anyway. Mika has less anxiety about being a nuisance - he'll easily come by once a day or night just to see what he's doing and hang out while he does it.
His cool palms press lightly against either side of Ginger's neck where it meets the shoulder. )
Your pulse changes a little bit when you're happy. You know that?
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I haven’t found one yet.
[ He turns his head to watch Mika. His blue eyes track each minuscule shift in his expression. It might be creepy that Ginger likes to just… watch… like this. He finds himself doing this to Rum a lot, too.
Something about finding the people you like fascinating in every way? Every shade of light they reflect off their eyelashes is endearing. ]
I know what you mean to me, but I don’t have a word for it. So whatever family means to you, whatever I am to you, it’s fine if you want to call us that.
It’s, um, sweet actually. I like it.
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... Okay. Family. ( If he were in catboy era, you'd see a happy tailswish. Alas, ) I haven't added anyone to my family since Yuu-chan. Be proud of that.
( Hands Ginger a little a self esteem... is for u... )
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But hey, ignore that and check out his pure and happy smile. He’s so inno - ]
I am! Mika’s family, that’s me now.
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You're really cute, you know that?
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Ginger thinks… he’d be okay with a lot of embarrassing things if it makes Mika smile. ]
Eh, what’s that mean? I’m not a kid, Mika.
[ If anything, Mika’s the cute one. Look at Ginger’s tie, which he loosens and tugs off - clearly not a kid. The buttons of his black collar are worked open, too. ]
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No, you're not. You're cute as Ginger.
( gottem )
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… Now you’re just making things up.
[ He holds out his arms. Come closer?
Ah, wait, should he have rolled up his sleeves, too… ]
Do you like cute things?
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( No lies here!!
He seems kind of curious when Ginger gestures for him to come closer, but he's on a rare serotonin high so, for once in his life, he's not going to think too hard on it. He shifts closer - into his arms, if that's the idea. )
I mean... I like you, so... I guess I have to, right?
( He was already kind of embarrassed saying he likes someone in the remarks leading up to the family conversation, and while some of it lingers... Ginger is a hundred times more embarrassed right now, and it's kind of endearing in a way that distracts him. )
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[ Into his arms is good; he settles them loosely around Mika. They’re close and comfortable enough that Mika can feed whenever he feels ready and he has more access to Ginger if he wants to touch his hair again. He seems to like doing that?
And overall, keeping Mika close makes Ginger feel more at ease. They have a term now: family. Mika’s family - it’s a little like being claimed.
Ginger likes that. ]
Yuu-chan, cute things, flowers, family - what else? Tell me more.
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Anyway, it's weird, but not in a bad way, being in Ginger's arms - but it also reminds him of the last time, when Ginger had taken him up to get him to his room to drink... and now that's on his mind, especially with Ginger's neck so close and exposed. So, when Ginger asks the first thing that comes to mind is... )
... Your blood...
( It tastes really good...!? It reminded him of Yuu's blood, in a way - Yuu, who also had some weird angelic and demonic... thing going on, but different than Ginger. It made them taste different, too - have a different texture. Ginger's is smoother, and...
No, now he's going to make himself hungry. He knows that's why Ginger's here, but he still hates being hungry, so, he sets that aside a little hastily, )
—I don't know. ( Vampires lose a lot of that, too. But... ) Yuu-chan... ( Yuu-chan... Yuu-chan... What else besides Yuu-chan........ ) I think I used to like curry, when I could eat...
( ... )
What are some things you like?
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[ His ears go red. Nooot something he expected to make the list. Isn't that the same as saying he - uh - he tastes good?? A-aaaa... He can't say it doesn't make him happy to hear that Mika finds him palatable. But... embarrassing......... ]
W-well, you know, it's yours to taste whenever...
[ It's not like there's another vampire who wants his blood anyway. What makes him taste good...? Is it the demon half... the angel half... Mmmmm... What does Ginger even taste like...? ]
... Ah, I've never had curry before. I don't need to eat, so it's always been things the others like to try for fun. Like cakes and chips. Little things.
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He shifts a little as Ginger talks, facing him a little better - or, rather, facing his neck at a better angle, palms running down either side of his neck lightly to better push the fabric down... This regular feeding schedule still sits weird with him, but... if Ginger really feels better knowing Mika's eating daily... )
... Do you enjoy eating? It's not like I was able to eat that many things before all this, but... I could show you a few things I remember liking.
( Or, close enough in this world, but. )
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[ He likes the seasonal items because they feel - special. ]
And I like sharing. [ With Rum, especially, but with his coworkers, too. Speaking of sharing: ]
If I eat the things you like, will… will my blood - um. Could I share those flavors with you?
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... Maybe? I can kinda tell diet, when I drink... You'd probably have to eat a lot of it, though.
( So long as Ginger doesn't mind that... )
... As long as it wouldn't make you sick or anything, I wouldn't mind trying it.
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[ In his eagerness he almost leans in too close, head bump barely avoided. But this is really exciting news! If it means Mika can taste the dishes he used to like - ]
Then let’s! The things you used to like - and maybe dishes you haven’t tried yet.
[ Ginger’s tall. He can do this for Mika. ]
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But he'd never thought of possibly being able to taste things again. A part of him had given up, and a part of him never considered it - the "diet" back home for most people was scraps and rations, so it barely registered. Even noticing the distinct shift in taste here... he still wouldn't have thought twice about it if Ginger hadn't thought of this.
Man... Rum's really lucky. He better be changing his mind about Ginger (positively) while Ginger's away. )
Is it really that exciting? ( He says, but... it's flattering. Weird? Nice? To have someone... excited for him. ) ... If you're going to go through all the trouble... could I at least be there when you eat?
( This sounds weird, but, )
... I at least want to know if you're enjoying those things, too.
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Oh - it’ll be like we’re sharing meals, like a family. [ In a tone that says he likes the idea. Mika is so smart. ] I’m there when you eat, and you’re there when I eat. It’s only fair.
And it’s not like I’d ever say no to spending more time with you?
[ He’s the type to glue himself to Rum, to miss him when they’re not partners for a day (eternity, longing, wasting away), to mope when he has plans with other friends for the evening (the night is long and endless). Imagine having more than one friend before coming here. Honestly can’t relate. ]
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... Yeah, well... I mean, I told you before you can find me whenever, but... you really can. ( He's not good at the passionate "because we're family!!" thing Yuu's stellar at, but he's sincere. ) I'd probably figure out more things I like hanging out with you, anyway...
( He doubts he's going to develop any preferences on his own (whether this is an apt assessment is unknown just yet). Anyway, Mika can wander alone, but, unfortunately, he's a codependent person... it feels right to be beside someone in some way. The world feels more vibrant then. )
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[ And he did think Mika meant what he said. ]
But I... have to limit myself, or else I'll want to monopolize your time. I mean, I do want that.
[ But he knows that gets annoying. He's annoying, Rum says so all the time. Most people need the occasional alone time; rarely are they like Ginger. Needy, clingy... even in the way he touches Mika. ]
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Besides... he's still assuming Ginger makes friends easily, so is it really "monopolizing" Mika's time if he's probably "monopolizing" a lot of other people's time, too? )
... Well, that depends. What would make you happier? Feeling like you're controlling it? Or just doing it?
( Mika would be happier controlling his bloodlust... but he's not going to assume Ginger's urges are a perfect mirror to his. )
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Mika… Mika won’t break his heart. They’re not in love, but they care for each other. Deeply, he thinks. Mika is his heart’s guardian angel, in a way.
And Mika is not and should never be a replacement for Rum. They’re both important to him in different ways. They’re both special, one of a kind. ]
Controlling it… It’s important that you have… a choice. I’m not tying you to me. [ But - please, please choose to stay, until you go back to your Yuu-chan. ] What would make me happiest is if seeing me made you smile with your heart, like you did earlier.
[ It was pretty. ]
Mm. When you feel like smiling, I hope you do. I want to see all your smiles.
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... I think... I stopped smiling around everyone but Yuu-chan. But...
( ... It's been easier to smile around Ginger. Maybe because they're similar? But not - the same. Mika wouldn't be able to stand seeing himself in a mirror; he hates himself too much. Ginger is comfortable enough to understand, but foreign enough to care about.
Maybe he's leaning too much on him. Is he being unfair? (The worries return...) Ginger seems to like their arrangement, though. He's... too caring, Mika thinks. )
... Why don't we keep it simple? You visit me whenever you want, as much as you think is reasonable. ( Controlled, to Ginger's own standard. ) And I'll visit you whenever I want. So you know it's my choice.
( And... if Ginger gets him to smile then, well, it'll be genuine, so... that should make Ginger happy. (The both of them tossing the happiness ball back into each other's courts,) )
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Mika, you’re brilliant! That’s a good plan. [ He’s wagging now - though his metaphorical tail did slow to an uncertain stutter when Mika mentioned that he’d stopped smiling.
He hopes Mika will talk to him enough to fill in the emptiness of two years; he hopes Mika finds reason to smile at Yuu-chan again, at Ginger, at the things he likes. The things they both like. And maybe -
Maybe… one day Mika can talk about himself and smile. ]
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Despite everything said so far, and though Ginger is unique to him, Mika doesn't consider himself unique to Ginger - which is good. It limits what damage Mika can do to him, he thinks. And he wants to take good care of Ginger and his heart while they're both here, without Ginger suffering the consequences of his association.
He's just glad he can make Ginger happy in these small ways, right now. )
... Don't complain when I pester you, then.
( He doubts Ginger would, but, he teases slightly anyway. Mika has less anxiety about being a nuisance - he'll easily come by once a day or night just to see what he's doing and hang out while he does it.
His cool palms press lightly against either side of Ginger's neck where it meets the shoulder. )
Your pulse changes a little bit when you're happy. You know that?
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[ Please do pester him. So easy to beg. ]
Hm? [ He shivers slightly with anticipation. ] You can tell when I look at you?
[ That… only makes sense, right? He likes Mika; he likes attention and affection. And he gets all of that, here.
… Then when Mika smiles, he wonders how his pulse reacts. Faster? ]
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/2
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n… sfw
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