Yeah? It was... not exactly the easiest thing, though I was occupied with other worries so I don't think it hit me as hard as some of y'all.
[Malice was also a little further away, so he had that going for him. He did feel it though, and the memory of Cody lingers in the back of his mind, of what could have been, of what he willingly, eagerly threw away for something more...
But that's not the point. Malice isn't in the habit of forcing people to reveal things about themselves, but he can certainly offer an invitation for it.]
Oh, definitely. Think some of us got it real bad. [ He's thinking of Phil, especially, mainly because Phil nearly collapsed like a house of cards.
For a while after, Day is quiet as he weighs his options, tired as he is. ...Maybe he really is slipping up, like having told one person in a moment of intense emotion has led to a leak being sprung in the metaphorical dam, and now the idea of telling others some variation of the truth feels less meaningless.
(Or to put it another way, if people will end up forgetting him after everything is said and done, does it really matter whether or not he tells them something that cleaves a little too close to his heart? Talking into the void here can't really come back to haunt him, so to speak.)]
Well, only if you take what I say as a what-if. [ This is him compromising, in a way. ]
[Someone who can't quite bear to admit their feelings... yeah, he gets it. Malice nods at that, and while his voice remains unchanged, his expression's a bit softer than usual.]
'Course. An' what you have to say stays between the two of us.
Thanks. [ Which is a relief, to him. The only other person he's told anything about this is Ginger, and even then, not quite in this way. He isn't sure if Ginger has managed to draw the lines between the dots presented, now that he's thinking about it. ]
...Malice, can you imagine what it'd be like if everyone forgot 'bout you? Everyone who's ever loved you, hated you, dearest friends and despised enemies, everythin' else in between. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, every tie you had to the rest of the world gettin' snipped [ He makes a scissoring motion with one hand, for emphasis ] like it's nothin'?
[Malice listens to that, inclining his head a bit as he considers.]
...Yeah, think I can. It'd be like you never existed to 'em, right? An' it wouldn't matter who it was, 'cause they'd all forget, yeah? Losin' the people who love you an' care 'bout you...
[He trails off there, eyes flicking downwards as he considers it.]
[ Day nods along at Malice, as if to confirm he's got the right idea. ]
Like I said, it's a what-if. [ It's also not a "yes" or "no", so Malice is free to decide which it is. ] And there's a little extra salt rubbed into the wound after.
They forget you, but not the stuff you did. So there's just a bunch of little gaps and wrinkles left behind, things that matter to them that they can't recall the cause of, yeah? And most of the time, people's minds try to fill in those gaps. They tie it to other people and things instead, and fate just smooths out whatever wrinkles're left.
[ And Day smiles, almost reflexively, because this is what he tends to do in the face of troubles of any kind. It...probably comes off a little bitter, despite himself. ]
...Makes you wonder if you ever really mattered that much, if your spot can just be filled by something else.
[So it's not as if you never existed... it's as if someone else did the things you did, said the things you said, and helped the people you helped. The last part really hits hard, and in this totally hypothetical situation, Malice can see where someone would be deeply upset by having their impact, their presence, their being completely erased.]
That sounds... painful. Painful beyond words, really. Not only have they all forgotten, but every part of you's neatly covered up by someone or somethin' else.
[He glances up towards the ceiling, folding his good arm over his bad one.]
An' I'm guessin' there's no way to just... reverse it or undo it? In this hypothetical situation.
If there were, I don't think the ghostie would have dropped this hypothetical situation in my head.
[ This totally hypothetical situation, of course. Day folds his hand in his lap, like he's trying to keep himself from fidgeting. ]
...Sorry, it's just been buggin' me. [ Because Day knows the harder you think about this sort of thing, the more it unfolds like some terrible origami gift. ]
[But there has to be something. The idea that Day's going through something like this makes him fidgety as well, but it's more like his fight response is kicking in, but there's nothing to fight to fix this.]
You don't gotta apologize. If somethin's troublin' you, you should talk 'bout it. I'm glad you trusted me with it, an' like I said, I ain't gonna tell anyone 'bout it.
[...]
But... if you were in this hypothetical situation... would you be worried 'bout the same thing happenin' here?
[ Welcome to the problem that has plagued some 100 people in Day's world at any given time, Malice. ]
The best people've come up with is...wearin' identities that can be remembered, I guess that's the best way of puttin' it. But it ain't a fix. I've told a couple of other people 'bout this too, and they ain't said anything 'bout it to anyone either.
... [ He sort of has to stop to think, because he has to consider the whole mechanics of fate here when he can't say for sure how it works in a different world. ] Hard to say. Far as I can tell, fate don't work quite the same way here, so arcane fate doesn't seem to have any hold. Maybe it's 'cause we're all wizards here, or the stars here are different, so they ain't got any ties to me. So at least for now...I don't think people will suddenly just forget, at least while we're all here. [ (It just doesn't fix the irrational fear that it could, especially when the reminder of the experience is fresh on your mind.) ]
...Can't say the same for what happens after this is all over, though. [ For that, Day is inclined to believe things will snap back into place. Even if they're all from different worlds, from what he understands, most worlds still have some concept of "fate". When the problem is that his fate is hidden from everything else, who's to say they'll be an exception, special circumstances and nuances notwithstanding? ]
We'll be much more powerful when this's all over, yeah? So maybe we can figure somethin' out. If not in your world, at least in this one, so none of us forget you an' all you did for us here. I ain't gonna leave 'til we figure that out, at least! 'Cause you've done a lot for us, an' you deserve to be remembered.
[Obviously this isn't really a fix. It's very possible he'll forget Day as soon as everything's said and done. But he wants to believe that they'll have a chance to keep their memories, to put things right before they return home. And maybe, maybe that magic will be enough to touch other worlds, and to fix all the problems they have back home. Maybe it won't be enough, but there's only one way to find out.]
[ To be completely, utterly honest: Day had not even entertained the idea of whether this problem is solvable with magic. It's been a problem for millennium back home that no one's been able to figure out how to fix, so it didn't even cross his mind. He'd accepted the very likely possibility he'd be forgotten after everything was over because after enough times, giving things up becomes as much of an inevitability as endings.
...This is the second time someone here has essentially told him, that it's worth trying to not give up for a change. Fate has a strange sense of humor, sometimes.
So he finds himself smiling, and unlike the one before, bitter and even self-depreciative, this one is gentler and a little softer. ]
Maybe. [ The fact he's even saying "maybe" here, and wants to believe in it. ] It ain't exactly a small thing, after all. But still, thanks, Malice. [ For saying all those things, because Day is used to doing work that will go unthanked and unrecognized through no one's fault. ]
You don't gotta thank me. I wanna do what I can to help out, an' once this is all over, we'll see what we can do 'bout it, yeah?
[There's no telling if it's even possible, and there's no telling if they'll even be able to actually resolve things here first of all. But for now he's going to try to look at this in a positive light - because he would like to help Day, if he can.]
Little bit. And thanks for stoppin' by. [ The irrational anxiety hasn't fully abated, which Day kind of wants to judge himself for, because it's an injury too raw to be easily soothed except in a very basic and vulnerable way. That's not anyone's fault. (He probably really needs to go across the hallway at some point today, huh.)
But some things that seemed too big to try and wrestle with suddenly seem more manageable now. Funny how that works. ]
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[Malice was also a little further away, so he had that going for him. He did feel it though, and the memory of Cody lingers in the back of his mind, of what could have been, of what he willingly, eagerly threw away for something more...
But that's not the point. Malice isn't in the habit of forcing people to reveal things about themselves, but he can certainly offer an invitation for it.]
You wanna talk 'bout it?
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For a while after, Day is quiet as he weighs his options, tired as he is. ...Maybe he really is slipping up, like having told one person in a moment of intense emotion has led to a leak being sprung in the metaphorical dam, and now the idea of telling others some variation of the truth feels less meaningless.
(Or to put it another way, if people will end up forgetting him after everything is said and done, does it really matter whether or not he tells them something that cleaves a little too close to his heart? Talking into the void here can't really come back to haunt him, so to speak.)]
Well, only if you take what I say as a what-if. [ This is him compromising, in a way. ]
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[Someone who can't quite bear to admit their feelings... yeah, he gets it. Malice nods at that, and while his voice remains unchanged, his expression's a bit softer than usual.]
'Course. An' what you have to say stays between the two of us.
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...Malice, can you imagine what it'd be like if everyone forgot 'bout you? Everyone who's ever loved you, hated you, dearest friends and despised enemies, everythin' else in between. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, every tie you had to the rest of the world gettin' snipped [ He makes a scissoring motion with one hand, for emphasis ] like it's nothin'?
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...Yeah, think I can. It'd be like you never existed to 'em, right? An' it wouldn't matter who it was, 'cause they'd all forget, yeah? Losin' the people who love you an' care 'bout you...
[He trails off there, eyes flicking downwards as he considers it.]
That's somethin' that happened to you?
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Like I said, it's a what-if. [ It's also not a "yes" or "no", so Malice is free to decide which it is. ] And there's a little extra salt rubbed into the wound after.
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Yeah? What happened next in this scenario?
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[ And Day smiles, almost reflexively, because this is what he tends to do in the face of troubles of any kind. It...probably comes off a little bitter, despite himself. ]
...Makes you wonder if you ever really mattered that much, if your spot can just be filled by something else.
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That sounds... painful. Painful beyond words, really. Not only have they all forgotten, but every part of you's neatly covered up by someone or somethin' else.
[He glances up towards the ceiling, folding his good arm over his bad one.]
An' I'm guessin' there's no way to just... reverse it or undo it? In this hypothetical situation.
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[ This totally hypothetical situation, of course. Day folds his hand in his lap, like he's trying to keep himself from fidgeting. ]
...Sorry, it's just been buggin' me. [ Because Day knows the harder you think about this sort of thing, the more it unfolds like some terrible origami gift. ]
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[But there has to be something. The idea that Day's going through something like this makes him fidgety as well, but it's more like his fight response is kicking in, but there's nothing to fight to fix this.]
You don't gotta apologize. If somethin's troublin' you, you should talk 'bout it. I'm glad you trusted me with it, an' like I said, I ain't gonna tell anyone 'bout it.
[...]
But... if you were in this hypothetical situation... would you be worried 'bout the same thing happenin' here?
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The best people've come up with is...wearin' identities that can be remembered, I guess that's the best way of puttin' it. But it ain't a fix. I've told a couple of other people 'bout this too, and they ain't said anything 'bout it to anyone either.
... [ He sort of has to stop to think, because he has to consider the whole mechanics of fate here when he can't say for sure how it works in a different world. ] Hard to say. Far as I can tell, fate don't work quite the same way here, so arcane fate doesn't seem to have any hold. Maybe it's 'cause we're all wizards here, or the stars here are different, so they ain't got any ties to me. So at least for now...I don't think people will suddenly just forget, at least while we're all here. [ (It just doesn't fix the irrational fear that it could, especially when the reminder of the experience is fresh on your mind.) ]
...Can't say the same for what happens after this is all over, though. [ For that, Day is inclined to believe things will snap back into place. Even if they're all from different worlds, from what he understands, most worlds still have some concept of "fate". When the problem is that his fate is hidden from everything else, who's to say they'll be an exception, special circumstances and nuances notwithstanding? ]
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We'll be much more powerful when this's all over, yeah? So maybe we can figure somethin' out. If not in your world, at least in this one, so none of us forget you an' all you did for us here. I ain't gonna leave 'til we figure that out, at least! 'Cause you've done a lot for us, an' you deserve to be remembered.
[Obviously this isn't really a fix. It's very possible he'll forget Day as soon as everything's said and done. But he wants to believe that they'll have a chance to keep their memories, to put things right before they return home. And maybe, maybe that magic will be enough to touch other worlds, and to fix all the problems they have back home. Maybe it won't be enough, but there's only one way to find out.]
...Hypothetically speakin', 'course.
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...This is the second time someone here has essentially told him, that it's worth trying to not give up for a change. Fate has a strange sense of humor, sometimes.
So he finds himself smiling, and unlike the one before, bitter and even self-depreciative, this one is gentler and a little softer. ]
Maybe. [ The fact he's even saying "maybe" here, and wants to believe in it. ] It ain't exactly a small thing, after all. But still, thanks, Malice. [ For saying all those things, because Day is used to doing work that will go unthanked and unrecognized through no one's fault. ]
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[There's no telling if it's even possible, and there's no telling if they'll even be able to actually resolve things here first of all. But for now he's going to try to look at this in a positive light - because he would like to help Day, if he can.]
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...Yeah, we'll see what we can do later.
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[...]
Thanks for tellin' me. D'ya feel a little better now that you've talked 'bout it?
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But some things that seemed too big to try and wrestle with suddenly seem more manageable now. Funny how that works. ]
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[Malice grins and moves to stand.]
You ever need anyone to listen to ya, I'm always here. I can always do that much, at least!
[And in this case, it certainly seems to have helped Day.]
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