Floor 1, Room 3

[jokey]

AKIRA

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[jokey]

I should be asking you that.

[He only recently learned a basic waltz himself. Yamato will be lucky if he makes it out of this with both feet intact.]

You were at the ball, right? You've got to know something about dancing.

[dadsandals]

I know a little, since I partook in the dancing for a little bit.

[ He had one or two (or maybe three?) dances, it's all good. Let's do this thing, boss. ]

Doesn't make me an expert, though.

[jokey]

That puts us on an even playing field. If you don't mind, I'll lead.

[Take his hand, little lady, while he guides you through a very basic waltz. So far, so good. A 12 means no one's feet have died... yet.]

What kind of dances were you doing down there?

[dadsandals]

Mostly this, I think. I just copied everyone else.

[ Why does he fear Akira leading for some reason... The irony of this is that he really has no right questioning Akira's prowess when he ends up stepping on the guy's foot first (6). ]

S-sorry! My bad.

[jokey]

[Don't be afraid! Akira's comfortable being in the lead role and very confident he'll be able to seamlessly lead them through this dance, unless—]

Oww.

[...Unless Random Acts Of Yamato happen? Augh, his foot!! Akira tries to correct his balance and fails (6), succeeding only in stepping on Yamato's foot too.]

It's. It's all good. We've got this.

[They do not got this.]

[dadsandals]

[ Ow, fuck- Yamato grunts as Akira's heel smashes his toes, and he missteps as a result of that and returns the favor, so to speak (7). ]

Ha...haha...are you sure about that?

[ AND YET, THEY'RE STILL GOING.... The dance persists. ]

[jokey]

[Oh, oww?! What is this, a fight? Akira tries once again to correct their fucked up dance and makes it worse, kicking Yamato in the ankle (4).]

I'm... pretty sure? No one can be this unlucky.

[Surely not...]

[dadsandals]

No, this is - ow!

[ He gets kicked in the ankle and he ends up stepping on Akira's foot again as a result (4). This is bad. This is so bad. ]

Okay, okay, hang on. Let's take a break. This is horrible.

1/???

[jokey]

[...Yeah. The only reasonable thing to do at this point is quit before one of them breaks an ankle. Akira reluctantly lets go of Yamato's hands and steps back,]

2/???

[jokey]

[AND SLIPS ON A BANANA PEEL (6),]

done

[jokey]

[...landing flat on his ass.]

Ah...

[dadsandals]

[ He watches this.

He moves to try and help Akira up...and he ends up slipping on the same banana peel and also lands flat on his ass (5). ]

Ow.

[jokey]

[Thank you for trying...? Akira manages with great effort to wobble up onto his knees. He's just in time to see that banana start flashing bright red like a cartoon bomb about to go off.]

I think I'm seeing things.

[He hopes he's seeing things. Alas, I rolled a (1), so the banana peel explodes. Roll to save Yamato's ass I guess.]

[dadsandals]

[ The cycle of death...stops here! Yamato is spared from the exploding banana (15) because he rolls out just in time. He stares at it for a while, trying to take in what just happened, before he lets out an exasperated sigh. ]

What the hell was that about?

[jokey]

[Oh, thank fuck. Any other banana peels want to come for their lives? Akira's just gonna. Sit here, catch his breath, and wonder what he did to piss the universe off so badly that two attempts were made on his life in one evening.]

I think we're cursed. Definitely cursed. That, or you were trying to shatter my ankles on purpose.

[dadsandals]

Absolutely not.

[ Come on, boss! He's your assistant, remember. ]

We're cursed. Do you think someone put a curse on us on purpose?

[jokey]

[Thinks.............. Ahh!! The lightbulb goes off.]

What if it was Solomon? I bet his cooking cursed me with a thousand years of bad luck. Touching me made it rub off on you too!

[dadsandals]

Was it really? Can you sense his magic?

[ Since, apparently, that's a thing they can do now!! ]

[jokey]

What? Yeah, maybe. Hold on.

[Akira licks a finger and holds it up like he's checking the direction of the wind. There is no wind in his room.]

It feels like moth balls and lies.

[dadsandals]

...Is that the kind of guy he is?

[ Or is Akira just salty about the food. He hasn't spoken to Solomon outside of the crime scene, so??? ]

[jokey]

[Akira grins and shakes his head. All jokes aside, he likes Solomon. He can't lie with a straight face and claim he's some kind of demon from hell.]

Nah. He's a pretty cool guy, but if you want to keep your stomach in one piece, don't eat his cooking. Seriously, not even a bite.

[dadsandals]

Don't worry. If that's what took you out, then I won't have a bite of anything he makes. Someone's gotta teach him.

[ And that someone might be him, but also. Is Solomon willing to learn... ]

[jokey]

Good luck with that. You better hold his hands through every step, Yamato. Look away for a single second and he'll plant a bomb in the pot.

[dadsandals]

It's that bad, huh? Are you speaking from experience?

[ no one can save them now ]

[jokey]

No.

[Firm no!!]

But I've been thinking about offering him some lessons myself. How about you control the left hand and I take the right? That way there's no possible way he can ruin the dish.