wizardmanor | Floor 2, Room 4

[ The night? Day? After the Eastern wizards come back from their mission has turns into Phil watch hours. All things considered, Day's just glad it's not something worse.

He spends this time just going in and out of Phil's room, staying for a while to check on him and monitor his condition, then leaving for periods in between so that he doesn't go stir-crazy just waiting. While he's in there, he doesn't really snoop around so much as he occasionally picks up one of the books in the many book piles around Phil's room; pretty much every single time Day puts the book back down because he can't read anything.

By the time Phil's awake, Day's probably sitting in a chair writing something in an empty notebook. ]

[The fact that the Easts all came back like sad, soggy cats definitely did nothing to help with Phil's condition. He's frail at the best of times, and the cold rain has left him with a chill that not even several layers of blankets seem able to chase away. However, that doesn't seem to be the cause of the cough that makes his entire body shake and leaves flecks of scarlet on his lips, breath coming ragged in the wake of each fit.

No, there's something far deeper going on there, as the way the chill at last gives way to a fever will signal. This is no simple cold, nor is it the result of overextending himself.

He's still bleary with fever when at last his eyes flutter open, lips parted as he lets out a sound halfway between a sigh and a groan.

Where is he...?]

[ Day's done his best to try and address the fever once it sets in, and honestly the whole time he's been anxious, because he doesn't know what's actually going on. He can only guess it's something worse than anything a person can get from being caught in the rain, and half wonders if maybe it has to do with the moon rock, the fragments of which are now in a bottle sitting in his room. But then again, if it did, one of the others would have said something about it.

(Probably. At least he trusts Yamato or Ginger would have said something about it if they knew. Otherwise, there was so much tension he could have waved a knife around and it'd have sliced through it.)

Once he hears Phil stir, Day looks up from his writing. ]

You're up. Uh, take it easy, though.

Edited 2024-05-27 09:36 (UTC)

[... oh. Oh no. Did Day have to carry him to his room again? How embarrassing...

Phil bites his lip hard enough that the copper taste in his mouth turns fresh rather than stale and tries to blink back the telltale prickle at the corners of his eyes.]

... I'm sorry. For making you have to do that yet again...

[There's certainly no surprise about the situation in Phil's voice this time, though... odd.]

[ Odd indeed, and Day has noticed. He uses his magic to summon a handkerchief, holding it out to Phil. ]

No need to aplogise. But I do have a question for you.

[It probably would have made much more sense to keep lying down, but no, Phil is going to attempt to lever himself up enough on one arm to take the handkerchief.]

About why I collapsed this time, I'm sure.

[He dabs at his eyes for a moment, sighing.]

I'd been hoping I would be able to get through the mission without having a fit...

I could tell it was something internal, but...it ain't an injury, is it?

[At that, Phil is silent for a moment.]

... did you attempt to heal it?

[Ah, guilt, his old friend.]

You were coughin' up blood.

[ So, yes. ]

That part... doesn't usually happen.

[Except for when he pushes himself far too hard, or in this case, has gone for too long without his medicine.

Now he tries to push himself into a fully sitting position, only to immediately regret it when it makes his head spin. Ugh, he really did a number on himself... in a way it's a good thing that Marcus isn't here to yell at him about it.]

[ "Doesn't usually happen"... Day leans over to try and gently push Phil back into lying down on his bed. ]

Don't force yourself. You sayin' you're sick, Phil?

[And for once, Phil is actually feeling lightheaded enough that even he realizes that he very much needs to be lying down at the moment. There won't be any protest on his end, which might actually be somewhat more alarming than if he'd done his usual insisting that he's just fine.]

... in a manner of speaking. [Here he pauses, shutting his eyes for a moment.] This isn't from anything that happened on the mission, if that's what you're worried about...

[ Oh. Day isn't sure which is worse: Phil insisting he's fine when he's not, or Phil not even trying to this time. ]

What I'm worried 'bout is how to help you with it. [ If it wasn't from the mission, then it's pre-existing. ]

[Suddenly, Phil finds himself very glad that his eyes are closed. No doubt Day is looking at him with that same expression of kind concern that he wore when checking on Phil after he'd collapsed from the memories brought on by the departure of Akira's ghostly visitor. Back then, he'd thought that maybe it was all right to allow himself a tiny bit of that kindness, even if only for a little while. But now?

No. Such a thing isn't meant for someone like him.]

... you can't. It... isn't something that can be fixed.

[And for all he didn't want to see that gentle concern on Day's face, he wants even less to see the slow realization of what Phil means by that spread across it.]

[ ...

Ah. ]

[ He knows Phil isn't looking, but Day tries to school his expression back into something approximating serenity, or at least not look so alarmed by this new revelation. ]

But you weren't this bad when you showed up here. There's gotta be some way to...treat it, right?

[ Even if it can't be fixed. ]

Normally, yes, but... I can't make the medicine here, and I ran out of what I had with me a little while ago.

[He can't open his eyes. He can't look at Day right now.]

... it's all right. I'm not going to die anytime soon even without it.

[A phrase that would likely sound more convincing if the effort of talking didn't bring on another fresh round of coughing....]

[ Don't frown, don't frown, don't frown... ]

Even if you ain't gonna die soon, it can't be comfortable. [ Insistent. ] And I know this sounds weird, but the magic here does...a lot of stuff. Might be able to come up with a substitute.

[Phil is silent for a moment as he tries to get his breathing back under control, swallowing down the taste of copper yet again.]

Haha... I've gotten used to it by now.

[Now he does open his eyes again, though it's to stare up at the ceiling rather than look over at Day. He still isn't ready to do that quite yet...]

I'll be fine once I get some rest. Even without the medicine, the fits like this are only temporary. I just need to make sure not to overexert myself for a while...

[ "I've gotten used to it by now." And Day has to wonder how long Phil has had this. ]

And you sure you that won't happen? [ Him overexerting himself, that is. ] ...What exactly are you sick with, anyway?

[... ah. It's only a natural question to ask in a situation like this, yet it's also one he doesn't even know where to begin trying to answer.

He inhales, then lets it out in a quiet sigh.]

... I suppose I can't lie about this, can I.

[It's a statement rather than a question.]

You could, but I'd be right pissed whenever I find out you did.

[ Day is just saying, plainly. ]

...I just wanna try and see if there's anything that can be done.

That's very kind of you, but...

[And there are the tears threatening to spill. Why hadn't he felt like this when he had told Ix about the seriousness of his condition?

... maybe because some part of him had been expecting Ix to be glad to hear it.]

You don't need to waste your time. Not when I'm not going to live for that much longer.

[For all that it's a fact that he's known and accepted for years, somehow telling Day this much feels like reopening an old wound, and he's not sure whether he's more surprised that it hurts at all or that it had never really healed properly in the first place.]

[ For some reason, the way Phil says it makes Day bristle in a way he so rarely experiences. Day has made smiling at his troubles the axiom of his disposition. There are perhaps only one or two people in this entire manor who have seen him genuinely angry, though unfortunately more who have seen him seriously upset.

This...is not acceptance, or even resignation, that gives resolve or serenity. It is simply the resignation of someone waiting for the appointed hour to come. And that—

That is something Day cannot accept. Even though he knows there's always an ending. ]

It ain't a waste of my time. [ And it comes out more forceful than he intended. ] Even if there's an endin' for you, does the journey there have to be so painful?

["Does the journey there have to be so painful?"

Phil can almost feel his heart constrict in his chest. The words are kind - painfully so - and said with such sincerity, yet without any knowledge of who they're being said to. What right does he, someone who has brought untold suffering to thousands of people, have to desire to not suffer in turn? This is what he deserves. This is what he brought upon himself.

He can deal with that much. But now, to have it hurting yet another person who doesn't deserve the pain at all? It's all wrong.]

You don't... understand...

["I’m not saying this because I want you to forgive me or pity me." Hadn't he said those very words to Ix and meant them? He doesn't need pity or forgiveness for his actions.

All he's ever wanted is...]

Post-East mission

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject