( He seems frustrated by Solomon's logic because he doesn't disagree with it. He's just... unhappy. )
... Is it that weird that I'm not happy being what I am? The part of me that hates this is the only thing keeping me from becoming as much of a monster as the rest of them... for however long that lasts.
I wouldn't call unhappiness "weird", no. Your feelings are your feelings, not anyone else's.
[It's the actions that come from those feelings that Mika has control over, even if right now... Solomon wonders if Mika would even believe that about himself.]
Have you been this way your whole life? A vampire?
( He doesn't see reason to disguise that. That's pretty old in a post-apocalyptic world with very few adults, too. )
... Yeah. It's a curse. From God, apparently. Another vampire fed me her blood against my will. ( Bitterly. ) Vampires can't really die, either. My only options were exist with some semblance of my consciousness as a human, or become a demon and lose my memories. Neither option was ideal.
( But he could only protect Yuu-chan with his memories, so... a vampire he stays. )
( Mika... folds his arms, quiet as his gaze falls away. )
... I don't know. I just...
( ... )
... I hate the idea that I might stop being "me." And I lost most of that when I died. Now I'm just... a corpse losing pieces of what I was until... eventually, I end up no better than some shambling ghoul.
Yeah. It's what happens to every vampire. Some of them can put on airs, but... it's hollow.
( This is part of what makes it a curse, in the end.
He exhales needlessly, as if speaking of some terminal diagnosis he knows of but is still struggling to accept. )
... But if everyone here is lucky, we'll finish this business with the moon before that finishes happening to me. It'd make me more of a liability than I already am, if I lost my ability to care and reason like this entirely.
( He looks... reluctant. This isn't a conscious decision or anything, but he's definitely avoiding most of the people he's fed from by manner of habit. )
... No. I guess I could... tell him, as a possibility to prepare for.
( This is something he only concedes because we're fresh off the consequences of what happened when he didn't warn anyone about a certain possibility to prepare for (what happens if he is not fed). Normally, he would've brushed it off with a "doesn't matter" or something to that effect. )
But you seem like a busybody. You can tell him, if you want. I'm fine with that.
( Two birds, one stone: lets Mika avoid people and lets the administration figure out what to do with him. )
[He doesn't respond to the permission to act as an in-between, however. Instead, he falls silent, looking over where Mika has folded in on himself in discomfort and shame and numbness, before stepping over to the windows overlooking the manor in the shadows of the evening.]
Come with me for a moment. I want to show you something.
He seems by default suspicious - not because of Solomon, but because of who he is and the sort of life he's lived. But... after a moment, he steps forward, coming up after him. )
... Sure.
( He won't ask what it is, since Solomon intends to show him. He'll simply follow after him - summoning his broom should they take to the air. )
[They are indeed! Solomon gently opens the window, his own broom materializing in his outstretched hand in a shower of golden lights, simple and black in its entirety, with gold rings decorating both the handle and the tight, almond-shaped bristles.]
( He needs practice, for sure, especially since he's missed on some days of practice, and his heart... could be steadier. But he did work pretty hard at it the first few days. )
I don't think I can go fast or take any route too complicated right now, but I won't fall.
[He nods as he shrugs off the starry-colored coat from his shoulders, gently tossing it to the side. No need for that to go flailing around in the dark when he had company with him]
Then there's nothing to be concerned about. We're not going very far.
[With a little hup of a sound as he steps up onto the windowsill, Solomon smoothly takes a seat onto his own broom, letting himself drift out into the open air with the momentum.]
It takes a moment to still his heart enough to manifest his broom, but he feels the weight of the cool-wrought iron in his grasp and he steps out and slips onto it side-saddle. It bobs with his weight slightly before finding its buoyancy, and he drifts in a slow semi-circle to face Solomon. )
Of course. [He settles a hand against the front of his broom.]
I'll trust you to say if that changes.
[With that, the sorcerer leans his weight forward as his ankles cross beneath his broom, smoothly shooting off into the night sky - a figure in all black with only the shocking white of his hair to place him.
He keeps to his word. If Mika doesn't mention that he needs Solomon to slow down, then the sorcerer will continue on at a brisk but manageable pace.]
Though Mika lags slightly behind, his pace slower but steady, he has the advantage of his vampiric hearing and sight - even if Solomon errs further ahead, Mika will not lose his trail, like a proper hunting dog. He won't push himself to go quicker than he can confidently go, but he won't ask anyone to slow down for him, either.
At the very least, he doesn't seem frustrated with his progress. His gaze falls to the distant world below, and to the stars and grand moon - a little lost in thought, but not distracted. )
[They fly out past the lights of the city, out until the darkness starts to feel ingulfing. Far enough removed that the moon and stars start to look like the pinpoints of many distant windows, many tired souls, holding onto what's left of the day.
He quietly slows to a halt, holding up a hand to hopefully get Mika's attention before he overshoots him.]
Here, please. Just for a minute.
[They're in the middle of nowhere and it's So Dark.]
( He's used to the dark - in a sense. The suffocating dark of the underground rank with stifled decay, abandoned by God, seeps different into his skin than the clarity of the night air, suffused with life - spirits, whose being and power run deeper than he could ever comprehend.
He drifts to a stop once Solomon calls to him, his demeanor - if Solomon can see it - once again suspect. Being this far out alone with someone is never a good thing, in his experience, but here he is anyway. )
[Solomon's nod is subtle, adjusting his seat on his broom and letting his gaze look purposefully up, away from the darkness of the ground, opposite the moon, to the spread of the stars in the sky - the scattering of constellations, the prickling of light, the clustered line of the galaxy's edge just barely visible in a darkened haze of colors now that they're away from too much light.]
If you know what you're looking for.
I once knew an old human who said he was the most powerful sorcerer in the world. He often said that when he was young, first studying magic, that he found he was questioning himself often. He wondering what he was turning into. That feeling never really stopped, no matter how long time went.
Studying magic made him realize a lot of his capabilities. But at the same time, it brought him to places that many said a human should never go. And the more he went, the more he questioned. He wasn't sure if he would notice if he ever turned to something else. A monster. A demon. Some nights, it scared him to think about it... some nights were worse if he realized what he'd forgotten.
No matter where he found himself, though, he had the stars.
The stars of the sky will always have a place where the worlds connect and spill their light. It's one of the only places where heaven, earth and hell all share something that cannot be taken, the sky ripped at its own seams to make way for them.
[He tilts his head to look towards Mika, something lost about his expression despite how he smiles.]
I try to find this place whenever I travel, whenever I feel uneasy. I think of the sorcerer, who still called himself human, because he could still see that glimpse of his world and know it was still his, no matter how old he grew, or how much he lost. For him, that was enough to soothe him.
...
I hope, while you can, that you find a starry sky of your own, dear Mika.
( Mika, at first, does not follow Solomon's gaze up, nor does he when he begins his tale. Too rooted in the past, earthbound - perhaps some part of his vampiric nature, yearning for a death denied to him, fixed in the moment he was eternally uninterred.
There is some part of him that would protest, once he sees the parallels - the idea that his story could be mirrored by a human repulses him. But somewhere, beneath his dislike is the fact that - so much of his resentment is knotted up in what they've done to Yuu; what they could do to him. Moving further from Yuu's proximity - that hatred grows fainter, and faint; and it is in thie distance that he's willing to hear his tale, even knowing that over the horizon he recalls how they've hurt his dearest friend.
He turns his gaze up, seeing the ceaseless depths of the galaxies - the gradation of color not visible to the human eye, and the whisper of the stars, their drift in space as clear to him as the gentle breeze. And, in turn, he feels, he hears, so acutely - how his dead heart does not move for the strange beauty of existence.
His eyes fall to Solomon as his final words leave his lips. )
... Did you take me here to comfort me?
( His words do not come skeptical or irritable, though that's the most natural framing of the question. He can't say he trusts Solomon's judgment - not when he's so smitten with humanity, by Mika's stiff standards. He can't say that Solomon, like most other humans, may not be using him, somehow - as is a human's wont.
But he does think there is meaning to Solomon's story, even if he may one day find it's untrue. )
... I found my starry sky in a person, once. ( But people change. And so... away that went, in two short years. In some way, though, it isn't so different: ) The sky may always be here... but it can exist without you - without anyone. When humanity fades, and all other creatures die... the sky will still remain.
I would have wondered if he didn't feel lonely, entrusting himself to something that doesn't need him.
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no subject
You also don't seem to enjoy the aftermath of the carnage left behind when you wait until it's too late.
It might be a hard truth to swallow, but you can't have both. You have to pick something proactive, or this could very well become a trend.
[A beat. He sighs tiredly.]
Is it because you dislike humans that you refuse to ask? Or is there something else making you so hesitant?
no subject
... Is it that weird that I'm not happy being what I am? The part of me that hates this is the only thing keeping me from becoming as much of a monster as the rest of them... for however long that lasts.
( Bitterly... )
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[It's the actions that come from those feelings that Mika has control over, even if right now... Solomon wonders if Mika would even believe that about himself.]
Have you been this way your whole life? A vampire?
no subject
... No. I was turned two years ago. Though, I... didn't become a full vampire until recently. That's when I stopped aging.
no subject
[Says the one who also doesn't look like he can be any older than 25.]
Is it a disease that turns you? Another vampire?
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I'm 16.
( He doesn't see reason to disguise that. That's pretty old in a post-apocalyptic world with very few adults, too. )
... Yeah. It's a curse. From God, apparently. Another vampire fed me her blood against my will. ( Bitterly. ) Vampires can't really die, either. My only options were exist with some semblance of my consciousness as a human, or become a demon and lose my memories. Neither option was ideal.
( But he could only protect Yuu-chan with his memories, so... a vampire he stays. )
1/2
...
He goes very, very still as some of that coldness cracks. Thinking, suddenly, both so slow and so quickly that it makes his head ache.
How much should he reach here? What would he...
What would he do if this were Ibuki in front of him?
...]
2/2
Does it frighten you?
A life of something that isn't quite human anymore?
no subject
... I don't know. I just...
( ... )
... I hate the idea that I might stop being "me." And I lost most of that when I died. Now I'm just... a corpse losing pieces of what I was until... eventually, I end up no better than some shambling ghoul.
no subject
Is that what you've seen happen to others? Losing themselves like that?
no subject
( This is part of what makes it a curse, in the end.
He exhales needlessly, as if speaking of some terminal diagnosis he knows of but is still struggling to accept. )
... But if everyone here is lucky, we'll finish this business with the moon before that finishes happening to me. It'd make me more of a liability than I already am, if I lost my ability to care and reason like this entirely.
no subject
[...]
Have you spoken to the sage about any of this?
no subject
... No. I guess I could... tell him, as a possibility to prepare for.
( This is something he only concedes because we're fresh off the consequences of what happened when he didn't warn anyone about a certain possibility to prepare for (what happens if he is not fed). Normally, he would've brushed it off with a "doesn't matter" or something to that effect. )
But you seem like a busybody. You can tell him, if you want. I'm fine with that.
( Two birds, one stone: lets Mika avoid people and lets the administration figure out what to do with him. )
no subject
[He doesn't respond to the permission to act as an in-between, however. Instead, he falls silent, looking over where Mika has folded in on himself in discomfort and shame and numbness, before stepping over to the windows overlooking the manor in the shadows of the evening.]
Come with me for a moment. I want to show you something.
no subject
He seems by default suspicious - not because of Solomon, but because of who he is and the sort of life he's lived. But... after a moment, he steps forward, coming up after him. )
... Sure.
( He won't ask what it is, since Solomon intends to show him. He'll simply follow after him - summoning his broom should they take to the air. )
no subject
Are you comfortable with flying yet?
no subject
( He needs practice, for sure, especially since he's missed on some days of practice, and his heart... could be steadier. But he did work pretty hard at it the first few days. )
I don't think I can go fast or take any route too complicated right now, but I won't fall.
no subject
Then there's nothing to be concerned about. We're not going very far.
[With a little hup of a sound as he steps up onto the windowsill, Solomon smoothly takes a seat onto his own broom, letting himself drift out into the open air with the momentum.]
no subject
It takes a moment to still his heart enough to manifest his broom, but he feels the weight of the cool-wrought iron in his grasp and he steps out and slips onto it side-saddle. It bobs with his weight slightly before finding its buoyancy, and he drifts in a slow semi-circle to face Solomon. )
... Don't worry about me. Just go.
no subject
I'll trust you to say if that changes.
[With that, the sorcerer leans his weight forward as his ankles cross beneath his broom, smoothly shooting off into the night sky - a figure in all black with only the shocking white of his hair to place him.
He keeps to his word. If Mika doesn't mention that he needs Solomon to slow down, then the sorcerer will continue on at a brisk but manageable pace.]
no subject
Though Mika lags slightly behind, his pace slower but steady, he has the advantage of his vampiric hearing and sight - even if Solomon errs further ahead, Mika will not lose his trail, like a proper hunting dog. He won't push himself to go quicker than he can confidently go, but he won't ask anyone to slow down for him, either.
At the very least, he doesn't seem frustrated with his progress. His gaze falls to the distant world below, and to the stars and grand moon - a little lost in thought, but not distracted. )
no subject
He quietly slows to a halt, holding up a hand to hopefully get Mika's attention before he overshoots him.]
Here, please. Just for a minute.
[They're in the middle of nowhere and it's So Dark.]
no subject
He drifts to a stop once Solomon calls to him, his demeanor - if Solomon can see it - once again suspect. Being this far out alone with someone is never a good thing, in his experience, but here he is anyway. )
... Is there really anything here?
no subject
If you know what you're looking for.
I once knew an old human who said he was the most powerful sorcerer in the world. He often said that when he was young, first studying magic, that he found he was questioning himself often. He wondering what he was turning into. That feeling never really stopped, no matter how long time went.
Studying magic made him realize a lot of his capabilities. But at the same time, it brought him to places that many said a human should never go. And the more he went, the more he questioned. He wasn't sure if he would notice if he ever turned to something else. A monster. A demon. Some nights, it scared him to think about it... some nights were worse if he realized what he'd forgotten.
No matter where he found himself, though, he had the stars.
The stars of the sky will always have a place where the worlds connect and spill their light. It's one of the only places where heaven, earth and hell all share something that cannot be taken, the sky ripped at its own seams to make way for them.
[He tilts his head to look towards Mika, something lost about his expression despite how he smiles.]
I try to find this place whenever I travel, whenever I feel uneasy. I think of the sorcerer, who still called himself human, because he could still see that glimpse of his world and know it was still his, no matter how old he grew, or how much he lost. For him, that was enough to soothe him.
...
I hope, while you can, that you find a starry sky of your own, dear Mika.
no subject
There is some part of him that would protest, once he sees the parallels - the idea that his story could be mirrored by a human repulses him. But somewhere, beneath his dislike is the fact that - so much of his resentment is knotted up in what they've done to Yuu; what they could do to him. Moving further from Yuu's proximity - that hatred grows fainter, and faint; and it is in thie distance that he's willing to hear his tale, even knowing that over the horizon he recalls how they've hurt his dearest friend.
He turns his gaze up, seeing the ceaseless depths of the galaxies - the gradation of color not visible to the human eye, and the whisper of the stars, their drift in space as clear to him as the gentle breeze. And, in turn, he feels, he hears, so acutely - how his dead heart does not move for the strange beauty of existence.
His eyes fall to Solomon as his final words leave his lips. )
... Did you take me here to comfort me?
( His words do not come skeptical or irritable, though that's the most natural framing of the question. He can't say he trusts Solomon's judgment - not when he's so smitten with humanity, by Mika's stiff standards. He can't say that Solomon, like most other humans, may not be using him, somehow - as is a human's wont.
But he does think there is meaning to Solomon's story, even if he may one day find it's untrue. )
... I found my starry sky in a person, once. ( But people change. And so... away that went, in two short years. In some way, though, it isn't so different: ) The sky may always be here... but it can exist without you - without anyone. When humanity fades, and all other creatures die... the sky will still remain.
I would have wondered if he didn't feel lonely, entrusting himself to something that doesn't need him.
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