floor one, room two

[shortleash]

MIKAELA

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[impacter]

[He doesn't respond. He gives Mika the time to reach the door, and he doesn't move as Mika opens the door. His eyes just travel over him, over the way his face draws in and his eyes fall to the ground.

When it's clear Mika won't start the conversation, he'll hear another exhale from Solomon, folding his hands across his stomach.]

Let me see your eyes, Mika. Look at me.

[shortleash]

( ...

He's reluctant, but.

He looks up... slowly.

... )

... What is it?

[impacter]

[He holds it for another moment of silence, studying that miserable, wary expression.]

Do you think you need company right now?

[shortleash]

( ... )

... I don't know. I shouldn't have company.

( Ever, he seems to mean.

... )

... You can come in if you want.

( He doesn't really want to think about his needs right now... )

[impacter]

Not "shouldn't", Mika. That's nearly as bad as "never".

[He doesn't move, repeating:]

Do you need company?

Do you want company?

[shortleash]

( Something about that seems to agitate Mika, and he snaps: )

Why— Why do you all ask me what I want when you don't even leave when I tell you to!?

( This isn't even specifically Solomon's sin. He's just - frustrated and hurt and ruminating on what happened, over and over and over - for every hour since he awoke, since he doesn't need sleep. )

[impacter]

[There's a slight start at the outburst, but he still doesn't move.]

Because that isn't what you're telling me, Mika.

Seeing you like this is just showing me reasons that I would rather not leave you alone. If you truly want me to leave, though, then you need to say so.

[shortleash]

( Nnnn... nnnn... nnnn... He brings his palms up to the side of his neck, pressing against the arteries there - they don't pump blood; only store it. He can feel it there, like liquid in a plastic sleeve, escaping from the pressure of his hands as he pushes down.

It all makes him sick.

... )

... Just... come inside.

[impacter]

[He'll let out another sigh, but will do as requested, gently closing the door behind him.]

I don't sense his magic on you any more. How long have you been awake?

[shortleash]

( Mika mutters his spell, lighting up some candles in his otherwise dark room - which would provide dim lighting to begin with, but right now the sparks are even dimmer. )

... I don't know. I woke up with Ginger. I stayed with him, mostly. I don't think I was out for very long. Things still tasted... felt fresh.

( ... He turns his gaze to Solomon, his muddled gaze, for a moment, crisp. )

What happened to Ginger?

[impacter]

[It's just another checkmark in Solomon's list of how unsteady Mika must be emotionally right now, and for good reason.]

He rushed Khun pretty aggressively when we first found you. Malice had to step in to physically separate them before things got too out of hand.

Given the physical changes he had, I think certain parts of him were showing stronger influence than usual. [The demon parts, but y'know. He doesn't know what Mika knows, and that's not his story to explain.]

After you were subdued and the healers had a short time to work on your wounds, Ginger took you back to the rooms to feed you. Unless you've had another visitor between now and then, he's been the only one to feed you, outside of what was taken from Jing Yuan.

[shortleash]

( His lips purse tight and his brows furrow as Solomon shares the news, and he leans back against a wall - so heavily it seems like he might slide all the way down. )

... I can't let him do that. Khun could've killed him. He could've done something to himself he couldn't have taken back.

( In a strange turn, he seems almost more concerned about Ginger than the feeding - but in truth both anxieties coexist. It's just that his worries for Ginger nearly eclipse the rest; his fear of doing harm is overwhelming, but his fear for Ginger is even greater than that. )

... Is Jing Yuan alive?

[impacter]

I don't know that any of us could have stopped him easily, Mika. He wasn't in a state to accept reason.

If this were home, I could do more. But this place is too different for those sorts of solutions.

[His own excitement of a pact aside, it would be a good failsafe to have if his skills were at the level he was used to. But without the Father's blessing as a constant on his ring, he has no guarantee that it wouldn't tear him to shreds.]

Yes. He withdrew from you very quickly once he noticed your state. Yamato placed a curse on you to keep you from attacking anyone else once Jing Yuan was clear - he's fine as well.

[shortleash]

There has to be something!

( Palms to his neck again, he digs his fingers into his skin. If it happens again... If things go wrong, like with Yuu... )

If he's going to get like that over me - or anyone else - then I'll...

( ... remove them. Them first, Mika last, just to make sure there's someone to carry out this duty. He can't trust anyone else to—

But he'd also thought that about Yuu's friends once upon a time, right? Mmm... )

... No other injuries is fine. That's fine. ( There was definitely visible reaction when Solomon mentioned Yamato - and relief when he said he wasn't hurt. ) If I... If anyone - me or Khun or Ginger or anyone does something again - use that. A curse. Or I really will—...

( Mika trying to be rational (it was an unexpected situation, but they found something that works with the curse) vs anxious and scared (remove all possible triggers that could set off Ginger) )

[impacter]

Mika.

[It's strict and sharp, but Solomon's pulse stays extremely calm.

He takes a step forward, slow and steady.]

Deep breaths.

You're fine. He's fine.

[Neither of them are okay, he thinks, but they're alive.]

Don't let your mind go to the future until you can let it accept the present.

[shortleash]

( He shakes his head sharply, like he did when he was trying to refuse help and healing and blood. )

I can't do that. If I don't think about the future now, Ginger could die when it becomes the present. Something could— I have to think about the risks instead of just— hoping things will be fine, things don't just work out like that.

( Hope, again - and the dangers of it. Death as a constant risk for the fragile bodies of the people he knows. And he would live through it all, as ever, as punishment. )

[impacter]

Ginger could live or die regardless of what you do, Mika. That is not within your control. His troubles are not within your control, and his life is not yours, nor is yours his.

[This sudden fixation on top of the agitation is just screaming all sorts of Bad to him - an accident, a disaster, waiting to happen over a simple fond attachment.]

You're aware that I haven't forgotten your request. Correct?

[shortleash]

You haven't killed me yet.

( Not necessarily an accusation— but he clearly doesn't understand why, when he knows he was a risk. )

I'm not God, I can't control— things. But I can't just accept there's nothing I can do to help him.

( No matter how badly that runs him down. )

[impacter]

I haven't. That's only because Yamato acted faster. [Had he been closer, had he not been holding that barrier, they would not be having this conversation.] If I had, I have no doubts now that Ginger would have likely tried to kill me, and then either I would have died, or I would have resorted to defending myself and both of you would have perished.

Thankfully? That's not what happened.

[Another step forward.]

Then figure out where to start rather than blaming yourself.

Have you asked him what he needs? Does he want help, or are you choosing on his behalf out of fear of what you don't know?

[shortleash]

( If there's one good thing about this, it's that Solomon mentioning a move to kill Mika would set Ginger off again, and that is the most glaring flaw with Mika's plan to eliminate all potential motivations to act out.

But that just makes him feel helpless - he has to be able to do something. He can't just accept there's nothing he can do.

However.

While Solomon's questions are fair - important, even, given the toxic spiral Mika seeks out and completes, there's something more important here, something that cuts his voice cold and sharp as he pushes from the wall. )

Don't you ever lay a hand on Ginger. I don't care why. If he comes after you, get out, or just lay down and die.

[impacter]

[Mika goes ice cold, and yet Solomon remains eerily calm.]

I'm afraid I can't do that, Mika. Just like I would kill you if you were to be a danger and could not be controlled, I would do the same with Ginger. I do not make exceptions.

[shortleash]

( One thing Solomon has as advantage over Mika is experience Mika cannot even begin to hope to match. Mika's expression is cool - anxiety and fear drained away in the face of brutal necessity.

But what Solomon is probably guess - might be familiar to him, in context and tone - that this is the look of someone weighing a means to kill him. )

... Even at the risk of your own life?

( A very immediate risk. )

[impacter]

Yes.

[Firm.]

Do not threaten me, Mika. This is not going to help either of you. You know that.

[shortleash]

( Snapping: )

How is removing someone willing to kill him at the drop of a hat not going to help him? I don't care if everyone hates me after. I'd do whatever it takes for him to be okay.

[impacter]

And what do you think he would say of what you asked me to do to you? If he killed me to stop that, and it meant that you had no one willing to stop you without more bloodshed?

Would you think that was helpful? Would that make him happy?